Awakenings - SF1 (41 page)

Laura looked at her very quizzically, but didn't comment. Ryan pulled the toothbrushes from her inner pocket and said, "My contribution to our little endeavor. It's not much, but I didn't have time to shop."

Laura walked over and stood toe to toe with her. She draped her arms around her neck and purred, "How would you like to wash my back?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she growled as she began to gently but
determinedly remove her date's clothing.

Two hours later Ryan fought through the haze of her exhaustion as Laura slid out of the tangle of sheets and went back into the bathroom. She heard the shower running as she lazily thought,
She sure is clean.
But then she remembered that Laura was probably going home to her husband and he might not appreciate 'Eau de O'Flaherty'.

She reflected on the previous two hour long marathon. Laura had been nearly insatiable in her appetite for Ryan. She had pleased her in every way imaginable and Ryan once again mused that experience was a very good thing to have in a lover. She had found with a bit of surprise that she really liked being with an older woman. It had been a while and she reflected that there was something very sexy about an older woman's approach to sex. She found Laura to be very sensual and deliberate in her lovemaking. She knew what she liked and she knew how to get it in a very efficient way. She seemed to have a lot of fun exploring Ryan's body and she brought her to orgasm as though they'd been lovers for years. Laura had obviously been telling the truth about having had other quick flings. When Ryan insisted on safer sex practices she went to her purse and pulled out a handful of condoms and they had managed to use every one of them. It wasn't the safest way but a cut open condom was better than nothing.

She dozed off while she was ruminating and the next thing she knew Laura was placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I've got to go, Honey," she said. Ryan started to hop up but she put her hand on her shoulder to hold her steady. "I can't afford to be seen going back to the gym with you. I have some friends who sometimes go there in the evening."

"That's okay," Ryan agreed. "I can take BART back. Your change is on the table over there," she said as she pointed to the sitting room.

That got her another puzzled look, but Laura just leaned over and gave her a very friendly kiss. "You could definitely become habit forming," she whispered. "I can see why you offer so many disclaimers."

Ryan blushed a little at the compliment. The sexy yet shy look on her face was too much for the older woman and she sat back down next to her and took her in her arms. A few more kisses started the fires burning again and it was very difficult for Laura to disengage. But she finally tore herself away from the lovely young woman and whispered, "Stay right there and let me see you spread out like that as I leave." She got up and walked over to the table. She turned and said, "I'm leaving you money for a cab, Honey. I don't think it's safe to take BART after dark. Actually, why not stay over and go back in the morning?"

"Hmm, not a bad idea," Ryan replied as she rolled over and stretched languorously. She was on her belly, lying in the rumpled bed with the sheet half covering her thighs. Her legs were bent at the knee with her clean pink feet pointing at the ceiling. Her hair was completely ruffled, but with that 'I've just had great sex look'. She brought herself up onto her elbows and rested her head on her hands as she gave Laura one last sultry smile. "I had a marvelous afternoon," she said. "I hope you did, too."

"If you look at me like that for one more minute you're going to have a marvelous evening, too," she said with a mock glower. "I've got to get back to my so called normal life, but you're making it very difficult to leave."

"Just trying to keep the customer satisfied," Ryan teased.

Laura blew her a kiss and departed as she said, "You were completely successful, Honey."

Funny
, Ryan thought.
After two hours of having her munching on me she doesn't remind me of my aunts anymore.
She stretched out and rested for a few minutes but she couldn't really fall asleep. Looking at her watch she noticed that it was only 6 o'clock. She picked up the phone dialed the familiar pager, putting in the full number of the hotel with her room number added at the end. A few minutes later she answered with a perky, "Hi, Conor, watcha doing?"

"Where are you?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm playing grown up. What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, really. Da's at work so I was trying to decide what to do for dinner."

"Come over and play grown up with me," she cajoled.

"Where the heck are you?" he asked again.

"I'm at the Mark Hopkins. Room 2350. Bring your toothbrush and a change of clothes. Oh, and bring me some clean underwear and a T-shirt," she instructed as she hung up before he could ask any more questions.

A half hour later she was sitting on the big bed in her room watching cartoons. She had showered and was wearing the fluffy terry cloth robe that the hotel provided. She responded to the tentative knock on the main door, calling out, "Be right there," as she scrambled off the bed. She threw open the door to find a very confused looking Conor.

"Why are we staying at the Mark Hopkins Hotel?" he asked.

"I had a little date earlier today and she had to leave. It seemed an awful waste to let this neat 2 bedroom suite sit idle all night so I thought we should enjoy it."

"Hmm," he said suspiciously. "Why not call your little friend from the gym," referring to Ally.

"You know her name, Conor," she reminded him.

"Yeah? Well I've never been introduced."

"I know," she admitted. "She's not my girlfriend, you know. We just fool around together."

"So why not call her?" he persisted.

"Because the last thing I want is more sex," she said with a small grimace. "I had a great time, but enough is enough!"

"Wow," he enthused as he looked around the spacious dwelling. "Two bedrooms and a sitting room? What did this place cost you?"

"They tried to get $450 for it, but they settled for $300," she said, proud of her negotiating skills.

"Where'd you get $300 for a hotel?" he scoffed as he investigated every nook and cranny.

"Are you nuts?" she nearly shouted. "I wouldn't pop for Motel 6! My date paid for the room; all I bought were the toothbrushes," she said with a little eyebrow wiggle.

"Gee, what kind of dough does she have? And why did you have to get a hotel room?"

"Well, she has a...um..." she stammered as a deep blush covered her face and neck.

"Girlfriend?"

"Nope. She's normally on your team, but she likes to switch hit once in a while."

"Husband?" he asked, rather incredulously.

"Yep. I'm not terribly proud of that part but she does this all the time so I figured I wasn't a home wrecker."

"Wow, why would someone your age get married and then cheat with women?"

"When did I say she was my age?" she demanded rather impetuously.

"How old was she?" he asked rather hesitantly.

"Let's just say she would be a much more appropriate date for Da," she admitted.

"Gee, Sis, your moral code is just going down the toilet," he said as he shook his head. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks, Conor, you really know how to brighten my day. Now go look at the room service menu and I'll buy you dinner."

"Cool!" he said as he walked over to the table to look for the menu. "Hey, where'd you get all the money?"

"Oh, my date said she was going to leave me cab fare. She must have put it there."

"Where did you tell her you lived? Napa?" he asked as he walked back into the bedroom flapping the wad of cash.

"Shit!" she cried as she jumped off the bed and ran to grab the money. "I can't believe she left me..." she started counting the money, "$250!"

"Don't forget to declare this on your taxes," he teased as he grabbed it back and slapped her with the wad of bills. "I think there is a code for self employed prostitute."

She sank down in the nearest chair and dropped her head into her hands. "Conor
,
I swear if you tell Da any of this..."

"Oh sure, Ryan. 'Hey, Da, Ryan had sex with a 50 year old married woman at the Mark Hopkins who left her a $250 dollar tip! Cool huh?' He'd beat me just for telling him!"

"I think I need to do a little soul searching," she admitted. "This is getting out of hand."

"Before you change your evil ways let's call room service and spend your ill gotten money. Then if the vice squad comes we will have eaten the evidence!"

As Jamie left the gym over an hour later she noticed that Ryan's bike was still in its place. "Gee, I wonder where she went?" she thought wryly.

Several hours later she drove by the gym on her way to a movie with Mia. She cast a quick glance and noticed the bike still sitting in the parking lot.
Hmmm, that's strange. I hope she's okay.

When they drove by on their return trip the gym was closed but the Harley was still sitting there. Jamie really was worried about her friend, but she didn't want to call and disturb her if she was still with the woman.
I guess it's possible that they went to her house and just didn't want to go out again,
she thought.

The next morning in class Ryan was her usual bubbly self. Jamie casually asked, "What did you do yesterday?"

"Um...I had a date."

"Anyone I know?"

"Um...don't think so," she said quickly.

"Someone from school?"

"Ahhh, no."

"Did you do anything fun?"

"Um...yeah, we had fun."

"Think you'll see her again?"

"Jamie," she finally said. "What are you getting at?"

"Who, me? Getting at something? Oh, do you need a ride to pick up your bike from the gym? I saw it there at midnight last night."

Ryan nodded to herself and said in more of a statement than a question, "And that bothered you."

Jamie looked a little flustered as she said, "No, it didn't bother me. But I was worried about you, Ryan. It's not like you to leave your bike like that and I was worried that something had happened to you."

Ryan asked the obvious question, "Why didn't you page me?"

"Good question. I'm not sure. But it's no big deal. You left your bike there all night. You had a date. You had a good time. Case closed."

"You saw me leave with Laura didn't you?" she asked as she fixed her blue eyes firmly on Jamie.

She looked very guilty as she admitted, "Yeah, I kinda did. I saw you leave, then I saw her leave, and then I saw that your bike was still there."

"What bothers you?" she continued. "Her age?"

"Partly. She could be one of my mother's friends!"

"Yes, and your point is that women over 40 shouldn't have fun?"

"No, that's not my point at all. It just bothered me, but I'm not sure why. Do you have to make a big deal out of it?" she asked crossly.

"Nope. I wasn't aware that I started this. But I can stop it. See you later, Jamie," she snapped as she turned and quickly walked away.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" She cried as she watched Ryan stride down the curving path leading to the biology building.

That afternoon Jamie showed up early for their training session. She had a healthy suspicion that Ryan would just blow her off and she wanted to get there while she was still with her pervious client. But as soon as she finished Ryan made a bee line over to Jamie. "I am so sorry for snapping at you today," she said sincerely. "You just hit a raw nerve and I let you have it."

"It's okay," she reassured her. "I shouldn't have been butting into your business."

"Jamie, I love it when you are involved in my life. Please butt in as much as you wish," she said as she put her arm around her and gave her a small squeeze.

"So...why were you upset? If you don't mind my butting in."

She looked quite contemplative as she stuck her hands into the slash pockets of her warm up pants and rocked back on her heels for a moment. "It's hard to explain," she admitted. "I guess I just feel like I...I don't know, Jamie. I'm just a little disappointed in myself," she said softly. "This isn't who I expected to be." She had such an open, vulnerable look on her face that Jamie truly wanted to toss her arms around her friend and take all of her pain away.

Instead, she merely gripped her shoulder and assured her, "I think the person you are is absolutely fantastic, Ryan. If you could see yourself through my eyes you wouldn't have any doubts about the person that you've become."

Ryan's face curled up into a crooked grin and she returned the pressure on Jamie's shoulder. "That was a terribly generous thing to say. Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I'd vote early and often for you," she said as she beamed up at her friend.

Jamie drove through the thick fog one early Sunday morning in mid-November. Traffic was light but the pace was slow due to the poor visibility. She arrived at Ryan's with very little time to spare. She was dressed in a pair of pressed khakis, a gold turtleneck and a dark green cashmere v-neck sweater. Ryan had told her to dress casually, but she had also brought along dressier clothes for later in the day.

She was a bit apprehensive about their plans for the day.
Not that people haven't already thought that Ryan was my lover,
she reflected.
Her own aunt thought so for goodness sake.
This experience was going to be a bit different, however. They had discussed all of the options available to them for their 'Gay for a Day' project. It made sense to both of them to do something of a spiritual nature, so they agreed on this morning's destination, The Metropolitan Community Church. Jamie was surprised to learn that this denomination had been in existence for over 25 years. It was founded to serve the needs of disenfranchised gay and lesbian Christians but was open to all.

Ryan trotted down the stairs just seconds after Jamie pulled up in front of the house. She was dressed in a similar manner, wearing a light blue turtleneck sweater with a fisherman's knit cable crew neck over the top. She eschewed khakis for her usual blue jeans, but this pair was a little less faded than usual.

"Jeans for church, Miss O'Flaherty?" Jamie asked with an arched eyebrow.

"It's gay church, Jamie. No dress code," she said knowingly.

The church was close to the Noe Valley. They arrived for the 9:00 a.m. service about 10 minutes early. The church was rather small; Jamie guessed it would hold about 300 people, but it was obviously lovingly cared for. It was less traditional than most churches she had been to, but very familiar nonetheless. There was a large raised sanctuary that held a pulpit and a large altar. A beautiful stained glass window rose majestically from behind the sanctuary. There was a choir loft with a large organ and quite a few choir members already in place. Comfortable pews radiated out from the center aisle.

Three happy looking people were at the door to greet them. A tall, bearded man welcomed them and directed them to printed worship aids. They each took one of the little booklets and settled themselves into a pew not far from the front of the church. Jamie looked around with interest. The church was about half full and most of the people seemed to know one another. There were many hugs and kisses and handshakes being passed around. She guessed that the majority of people were gay, but she was fairly certain that she detected a few traditional family units as well.

Ryan had never attended the church so she was unable to shed much light on what to expect. After a few minutes the organ began to ring out a rather traditional hymn that Jamie recognized. A large procession began down the center aisle with the entire choir and various other acolytes and ministers following. Several people, men and women, were dressed as ministers.

The choir gathered in the sanctuary as the ministers took their places behind the altar. Both women were surprised to find that the service echoed the traditional Eucharist that both were familiar with. The main difference was that the service was concelebrated among 5 different ministers. An impressive looking black woman seemed to be the main celebrant, but a short pudgy Asian man read the Gospel and two Caucasian men read various scripture passages. The music varied between rather traditional Protestant hymns and very joyous African inspired melodies. A Caribbean themed Hallelujah sung before the Gospel had everyone swaying to the beat.

After the consecration the minister urged everyone to come forward and receive the Eucharist. Jamie and Ryan rose with everyone else and stepped forward. Ryan followed her but as they reached the front of the line the minister reached out and pulled Ryan forward until they stood shoulder to shoulder. After she handed each of them a host she placed her arms around them and pulled their heads together. She offered a prayer over them and solemnly blessed their relationship. She leaned over and kissed each of them on the cheek saying, "God loves you!"

Jamie was shaken by the experience as they returned to the pew. She cast a sidelong glance at Ryan who was kneeling down with her eyes closed. She did not detect anything out of the ordinary with her, so she sat quietly and reflected.
Why did she assume we were a couple? Do we act like the other couples here?
She looked carefully at the people approaching the communion rail. It was fairly easy to pick out who was together. People just seemed to fit as a couple. For some it was obvious, as they held hands or touched gently. For others it was their similar styles of dress. For still others there was just a clear bond between them that was obvious even to a casual observer. It was the way they stood next to one another, or perhaps an unconscious look or a smile. Whatever it was she wondered whether she and Ryan had it.
We are dressed very similarly. We look about the same age, about the same socio-economic strata. But still...there is something more.
Just then Ryan leaned over and whispered, "That was sweet, wasn't it?"

She found herself smiling at Ryan in the same way she had seen the other couples do.
There is something about us that just fits. And I think it is obvious to others. Maybe that's what Cassie and Jack have picked up on.
She worried about this for the remainder of the service. As they filed out the minister who had given them communion stopped them to shake their hands and offer a welcome. "Are you natives or from out of town?" she asked pleasantly.

"We're locals," Ryan replied easily. "But we've never attended services here before. It's a very impressive ceremony," she said with a smile.

"I hope you enjoyed it and that you'll come again. It's nice to have younger couples attend church together. How long have you been together?"

Jamie was completely tongue-tied but Ryan was clearly in charge anyway. "Gosh honey, how long have we known each other?" She counted off the months on her fingers. "It's been nearly 4 months," she said proudly.

"Ohhh newlyweds! That's very sweet. We perform a very nice service for members of the congregation who want their union blessed. You two should think about it."

Ryan grasped Jamie's hand and said decisively, "We'll do that, won't we sweetheart?"

Jamie mutely nodded her assent as Ryan dragged her down the stairs and led her to the car. "Work with me here, Jamie," she said teasingly. "You're gay today, remember?"

"I
…
I
…
I'm sorry," she stammered. "That just caught me by surprise."

Ryan looked at her carefully as she hopped into the Boxster and started the engine. "Maybe we should have talked about this a little bit more," she said carefully. "You look like that bothered you, and I do not want you to be uncomfortable." She paused and gave Jamie a small smile, "Especially just before going into enemy territory."

Jamie managed a smile in return. "No, it's nothing, really. I guess I just don't think I look gay, and it surprises me when people think we're a couple."

"Surprises you or bothers you?" Ryan asked as gently as possible.

"Maybe both," she admitted truthfully. "I just had so many preconceived notions about lesbians before I took this class. It makes me look more carefully at some of my stereotypes."

"Do you feel comfortable enough to go to our next destination?"

"Yeah, I do," she replied firmly. After a bit she continued on with the earlier topic. "I think what bothers me the most is that it bothers me," she said looking at Ryan quizzically. "Do you know what I mean?"

"I think so. Do you mean that you don't like the fact that you have a bit of an adverse reaction to people assuming you're gay?"

"Yeah. It really bothers me that it bothers me. How am I different from Cassie or Jack or my parents if it bothers me when people assume I'm with you? I give them these big lectures about how normal it all is. Do I really believe that?"

"Jamie, don't be so hard on yourself. You've gotten negative images about lesbians for a long time. You've been seeing a more balanced portrait for only 4 months." She smiled and took her hand, "I've got to tell you, I am very sensitive to negative vibes. And I've never gotten any from you. I feel perfectly comfortable touching you and hugging you. I wouldn't feel that way if I detected that it made you in the least bit uncomfortable."

"You know, Jack asked me about how we interact," she admitted. "I told him that you touched me more than my other friends, but that I felt very comfortable with it."

"Do I really touch you more than your straight friends?" she asked with a touch of surprise.

"Yeah, you do. I told him that I thought it was because you are so comfortable touching women in general, and you just treated me the same way."

"I don't always initiate it, do I?" she asked shyly.

"No, I do it a lot of the time. I just feel more comfortable around you physically than I do my other friends." She paused for a moment, "What about you?"

"I think you were correct. I am very touch positive anyway. I really believe you need a minimum daily requirement of hugs to sustain life. But because I'm so comfortable with women I guess I do just let that comfort flow to women that I'm not sexual with." After a bit she continued with a concerned glance, "You never feel I'm coming on to you, do you?"

"No Ryan, I never have," she said firmly.

By this time they were back at the house. Ryan looked at her seriously and asked, "Are you sure you want to make our next stop?"

"Definitely."

When they had discussed their options for the day they agreed that they needed to go at least one place where they might encounter some discord. Jamie suggested that they go to a lovely little tea room right in the heart of the Peninsula. "If there is a straighter place on earth, I'd hate to see it," she said at the time.

Now Ryan was a little concerned. She was afraid that Jamie might run into someone she knew, perhaps even her mother. But Jamie was firm in her resolve. They went downstairs to change, with Jamie taking the bathroom where she could hear Ryan rummaging through her closet, softly cursing. "Having trouble out there?" she asked.

"I have one acceptable outfit to wear. And I don't wanna wear it," she grumbled.

Jamie emerged from the bathroom looking every bit the young Hillsborough debutante. She wore a short dark tan skirt in a fine washable silk. Atop the skirt she wore a long silk jacket in a tan, black and cream paisley. The jacket was made to be worn without a blouse as the stand up collar buttoned all the way up to her throat. Large gold knots graced her ears and a heavy gold chain hung from her neck, resting just under her collarbones.

She gasped slightly at she took her friend in. She might not like her outfit, but it liked her very, very much. A pastel pink cashmere sweater set covered a simple short black shirt. A black velvet headband held her bangs back and the pearls again covered her ears and neck. She wore plain stockings and simple black pumps. The short skirt and heels managed to make her legs look tantalizingly long and her smoothly curved calves were very attractively displayed.

"Why on earth do you not like this outfit?" Jamie marveled. "You look beautiful."

"I hate, loath and despise skirts," she said with disdain. "Next to skirts, I hate heels," here she held up her foot to display the offending footwear. "They both change the way you walk and the way you sit. I am sure they are both an evil plot to subjugate women and render us unable to protect ourselves." After a pause she continued with a smile, "But thank you for the compliment."

She walked around Jamie slowly, examining her wardrobe. "This kind of thing looks like it was made for you," she said as she pulled the jacket up to look for a label. "But knowing your family, it might have been," she said teasingly.

"No, I bought this off the rack with the rest of you mortals," she replied haughtily. "But I did buy it in Milan if that makes you feel better," she said with a twinkle.

"My Aunt Maeve gave me this outfit 5 years ago for Christmas. This is only the second time I've worn it," she said proudly.

As they walked back upstairs they met Conor coming down from his room. "Wow!" he said with appreciation. "Where are you two going?"

"We're going to the Peninsula for tea," Ryan replied elegantly.

"I don't know how you did it, Jamie, but keep up the good work," he teased as he eyed his sisters' legs. "I forgot she was a girl," he said as he tried unsuccessfully to tickle Ryan.

As they drove along in the lifting fog Ryan did her best to prepare Jamie for the encounter. "The only way you will get a taste of what being gay is like is if we really act like girlfriends. But I want to be sure that is not going to bother you," she said solicitously.

"What do you plan on doing?" Jamie asked somewhat nervously.

"Nothing graphic, Jamie," she laughed and slapped her arm.

"I was afraid you were going to act like you did that night I saw you at the bookstore," she teased.

"That would get us arrested in the Peninsula," she said somewhat seriously. "No, I just plan on acting like I would with anyone I was seriously dating. I just want to be sure you won't be uncomfortable if I touch you or hold your hand."