Bittersweet Deceit (18 page)

“Because I didn’t want to hurt Red in the process and I needed to sort out how I feel.”

“And have you?”

“No, I mean yes, I don’t know girl. I feel all torn up inside and I really don’t want to care. Bond and I have been in an excellent place and I’ve enjoyed my time with him lately more than I ever thought possible. I felt so close to him and now I don’t know.”

“Have you talked to him since?”

“No.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t follow you.”

“You know he won’t drive if he’s had anything to drink.”

After years of not driving because of a past
automobile accident, Bond had recently gotten his driver’s license and purchased a car.

“It’s still crazy for
me to think he’s driving at all,” I said.

“Yeah.”

“Has he called?”

“He’s at Red’s now and they’ve both called me and texted. I told them to give me space.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I just know I don’
t want to feel this way. It brings up all the feelings of not being good enough or being enough for him.”

“But—” I started.

“I know what you’re going to say. I have Red too so
I’m sharing Bond as much as he has to share me. I don’t want to feel this way; I just don’t know how to make it stop.”

A knock sounded on the door and we both jumped.

“Apparently they’re done giving you space.”

She frowned and didn’t move.

“I’ll get it,” I said. I opened the door and Red stood before me, his massive frame filling the doorway. His green eyes held a look of worry and his red clinched eyebrows bid me to let him pass.

“Bond’s in the car,”
he said.

“She worried about hurting you,” I said softly.

“The only thing hurting me is her not letting me comfort her.”

Moving
out of his way, I let him pass. I turned and watched him pull Jacqs up and settle on the couch with her on his lap. He wrapped her up in his arms as she cried. He smoothed her hair and held her tight.

Watching them did something to me that I didn’t like at all. She had a man who loved her more than life itself and would always be there for her no matter what. I didn’t see that in my future for myself.

After closing the door behind me I made a beeline to Red’s SUV. I climbed into the driver’s seat next to Bond. He looked wretched.

“Fuck, Lainie. I can’t seem to ever get it right with her.”

“All I can tell you is that she wishes she felt different than she does.”

“It was a stupid oversight on my part.” He ran his fingers
over his long, dark hair.

“Is it serious?”

“It’s convenient. She’s a nice gal, but it’s not love. I needed a balance away from Jacqs and Red. I doubt you can understand but watching their—”

“Oh, no, I get it. I was wondering all this time how you were going to cope. It makes sense to me. Maybe if you can explain it to Jacqs, she won’t feel so hurt. I think it might help.”

His light-brown eyes searched my faced. “Thank you, Lane. I never thought you and I would ever be on the same page.”

“Yeah. Who would
’ve thunk it?”

“Not me.” He chuckled. “Have you talked to Stay?”

I shifted uncomfortably and said,
“No and I don’t see that happening for a while.”

“Relationships are complicated aren’t they?”

“Very,” I said and meant it.

“Will you check to see if she’s ready to talk to me?”

“Yes, of course.” He looked so bereft, I reached out to him and he hugged me back.

When we broke apart, he sighed heavily.

I climbed down out of the ridiculous high SUV and
knocked on the Jacqs door, praying I wasn’t interrupting.

“Come in,” Red said.

“Are you ready to talk to Bond?” I asked Jacqs.

“Yes
, and Lane?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” She held her hand out and I grabbed it.

“I’ll go get Bond,” Red said.

“I’m coming with you,” I said to Red. “Call me if you need me, girl.”

“You too.”

When Red and I exited the apartment, I waved Bond over.

Bond passed us and slipped in the Jacqs
’s old place.

“Are you okay?” I asked Red.

“I just hate to see her in pain. My heart hurts for her.” He rubbed his red, short-cropped beard and asked, “How are you doing? I’ve heard you’re dealing with your own drama.”

“It’s a right mess but I hope to sort it out soon. I’m not sure I’ll make it to your place on Wednesday. I think it’s best if Stay and I
avoid—”

“He’s not planning to be there. He said the same thing so you’re free to come.”

Red’s words were like a sharp knife stabbed straight through my heart. Stay didn’t want to see me.

“It’s going to be okay
, Lane. These things have their way of working out.”

“I hope you’re right.”



Back at my condo, I looked around at my clean home feeling
more alone than ever. Even though Jacqs’s relationships held challenges, she shared her life with another—two others currently. I had been solitary for so long. Until recently it hadn’t bother me. I would even say I had preferred it that way. I did not welcome all the complications that came along with love, but at some point we all wanted to find our one and only. Why I stayed with someone I had to share, made no real sense to me. But when does love make sense? If it did, would have Jacqs hung in there so long with Bond? Would Red have been okay or even suggest that Jacqs see both he and Bond? What about my father staying with my mother? And Stay and his loyalty?

Fuck Stay. Fuck him. He doesn’t want to see
me? Well I don’t want to see him either. Good riddance!

I didn’t want to think about him anymore. Instead I did something I
rarely do. Out on the balcony, with a cigarette in hand, I typed out an email on my phone to Mason.

To:
[email protected]

From:
[email protected]

Hi Mason,

I know you’re probably getting ready for your flight out. I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you and looking forward to our time together on Tuesday.

I
’ll make arrangements with Samantha to cover for me. What time should I be home? Is there anything special you would like to eat?

I hope your trip goes well and I’
d love to hear from you when you have the time.

Your
s,

Lainie

I hit send before I had the chance to change my mind. I tamped out my cigarette and headed in to strip my bed and then tackle the laundry.

By bed time and no email back from Mason, the last thing I wanted to do was to peruse anymore of my thoughts. I had sufficiently exhausted them and dissecting each one hadn’t helped to lessen the tight knot in my gut. Two more days until I had to confront the inevitable, whatever that turned out to be. At least for tomorrow, I could count on my job and the start of my weekly routine. I welcomed the normality.

I set my alarm and turn on my music, letting the sound lull me to sleep.

M
onday breezed by with the exception of me obsessively checking my email. If Stay managed to weasel his way into my thoughts, I shut them down before they could make any headway. Samantha was a doll about covering for me and as always we worked well side by side. Although Monday’s tended to be slow, we managed to move a good bit of merchandise. Having a restaurant a few doors down provided traffic we might not otherwise have caught.

I worried about
hearing from Mason and whether or not we were still on for Tuesday.

After closing the shop, I stopped by Publix and pick up food for dinner and the next day. At home,
I followed my usual routine, trying to drown out the growing feeling of dread. I ate the chicken lo mein I bought from the deli counter and watched
The Voice
on TV.

My phone finally chirped so I paused the show. Bringing up the screen on my cell phone, I
saw a message from Mason. His long text came in all at once, blowing up my phone.

MM:
Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond. I don’t often check that email address and as you know, I don’t have it set on my phone. The meeting has gone well, which

MM:
will mean a lot of traveling. This CEO has three different locations he wants me to check out once we get started. I still have the last local job to finish up

MM:
this week so the new job won’t start until next week or the following. Don’t worry about anything special to eat. I miss you too. It kills me to be away from

MM:
you for so long. I hope you’ve been a good girl. I’d hate to have to punish you over my knee. Well, no, I wouldn’t. I think we need to start with that and

MM:
we’ll both feel better. I need to be inside you. Be ready for me.

My pussy clinched over his comments about the spanking. I texted back:

Me:
I’m already more than ready. What time? Any special instructions?

MM:
Be ready, willing, and naked. Let’s say one to be on the safe side. That should give us a few hours to ourselves. Again, I’m sorry about Saturday and let me

MM:
make it up to you.

Me
:
You already have. I know I’ll feel better when I’m back in your arms and can see your love shining back to me. The spanking too. :*

MM:
I’m wiped out from the day and will be going to sleep shortly. See you soon.

Me
:
Bye Mason.

I hopped up and dance
d the jig around the living room.
He still loves me!
“Woohoo!” I whooped. Once I
expended my excited energy, I collapsed down on the couch and finished the show. Setting off to bed, I checked and noted that everything was in place. Stay, a distant memory.




Tuesday dragged
by painfully. Every minute felt like ten. Samantha stared at me on a few occasions seeming to assess my crazy, frenetic mood. I left Bella just before
noon, and waited in my robe for Mason to show. I felt jittery and alive, like I was on a precipice looking down. I craved his reassurance as if it was the very air I needed to breathe.

I heard his
footsteps before he arrived at my door and scurried to hold it open for him.

We stared at each other for a moment before we clasped onto one another, our lips connecting in a fiery kiss. He pushed the door shut with hi
s foot and kicked off his shoes while we continued to kiss, not wanting to spend a second disconnected. He walked me backward into the bedroom, until the edge of the mattress hit the back of my knees. I fell and he came down on top of me.

Still lip locked, I pulled on the buttons of his shirt as he tugged my robe out from between us. I needed his skin next to mine and I knew he felt the same way.
As I worked on the last button, he unbuckled his belt and pants and kicked them off.

“Lainie
, I can’t wait.”

“Oh god, please don’t!”

When he slid inside, I felt vindication and exaltation. He was the man I wanted and I would hold on for as long as I could.

“Oh
, baby, you feel so good,” he said, pausing mid thrust. The lust and love in his eyes told me everything.

“Mason, don’t stop moving, I need you to take me. Please,” I gasped in desperation.

He propped himself on his arms and held my legs against his shoulders, bending me over and taking everything I had to give. The deep penetration of his hard cock and passionate stare consumed me.

We writhed together
, my hips meeting each incursion with equal zeal.

“This i
s ... where I’m ... oh baby ... meant to be. I love you ... I love you ... I love you!” he grunted.

“Mason, oh Mason, please!”

“You’re getting close ... your tight pussy, oh yes, baby, you can do it, you’re clutching my dick. Come for me my love.”

I flew to the edge of my release, so full of my love for him. I could no longer hold it back. “Oh, Mason, I ... I.”

“Give it to me, baby!”

“I love you ... oh god ... I love you,” I screamed as my climax fired and my pussy began to spasm against him.

“Lainie.” He lowered down so he could kiss me as my aftershocks continued to fire.

I spread my legs out to the side
and wrapped them around his back.

He placed his hands on either side of my head, his elbows into the mattress for leverage. He danced his hips, rubbing his pelvis against my swollen entrance. “You’ve made me the happiest man on the planet,” he whispered. His lips lowered to mine and he kissed me again with slow soft caresses.

“I love you,” I said again. “I have since that very first night.”

He
held his hips still and said, “I’ve known for a long time, baby, but hearing you saying it, giving that part of you to me—I understand what that means to you—I will never take it for granted.”

“I believe you.” I stared
back into his pale-blue eyes.

“Before I come, I want something from you.”

“Anything.”

When he rolled off of me I cried out. “I’ll be back there very soon,” he said, chuckling. “Let’s move into the living room.”

My robe fell off when I sat up. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom on our way and spread it over the bottom cushion of the couch.

“Over my lap,” he said, pointing down. His prominent erection stood at attention
and I couldn’t help noticing. “I wish I could spank you over my lap with my cock inside but that tight glove will have to wait.”

I
complied, most of my body across the couch, my hips over his lap.

He rubbed and squeezed my globes. “I think about
this ass often. So full and round. I’ve been fantasizing about make it rosy pink to remind you that you’re mine.”

I swallowed hard. Stay was brought into our scenario and I didn’t want him there. I wanted him as far away as possible.

“I do acknowledge that I was an ass about it, especially leaving so abruptly,” he continued.

“
Please stop, please stop
,
” I said silently.

“Shall we
begin?” he asked.

“Yes.”

He spanked my right butt cheek and then asked, “Who does this buttock belong to?”

Heat rushed to my hard nipples and my already
throbbing, wet pussy. “You,” I grunted.

He hit the other side and his cock twitched against me. “And this warm
, round globe.”

“You
; only you.”

Then h
e escalated the speed and intensity of the spanking.

I panted heavily, groaning and squirming as my natural juices dripped down onto his legs below.

“So rosy and inviting.” He bent over, and to my surprise bit either side of my ass.

“Hey,” I giggled, placing my hands over to my butt to protect it.

“Stop wiggling all around or I’ll come against your stomach.” He kissed each globe and said, “Come to me.”

Without hesitation
I straddled his lap, slowly easing down over his steely erection.

“You make me so hard love. I only get this hard for you.”

Oh how I wished that was true, with every fiber of my being.

Facing each other, he held my
head in his hands and kissed me like his life depended on it. When our lips broke apart, he said, “The thought of losing you—”

“You won’t, you can’t
. I’m exactly where I want to be.” I rose and fell over his lap, floating in the exquisiteness of our connection. I felt the love he freely expressed, our linked stare, and our bodies colliding together.

He gripped my
waist, controlling the pace and angle, circling my hips over him. The friction inside and out caused a light-headed euphoria. I grasped his shoulders, lifting and dropping, as he thrust up to meet me.

“Baby, lean back and play with your tits for me. Pull and tug on your nipples. Oh yes ... so womanly ... so hot. I want to see your face as you come for me. There you go. Oh, I can feel you getting close. Take me with you, milk me. Oh, Lainie,” he
called out. His orgasm exploded as I pulsed around his invasion.

I didn’t stop moving, I couldn’t. I
held my breath and rode out the torrent of waves crashing inside my pussy and my heart. I’d never before given of myself so fully to another. Whether ill-conceived or not, I took the risk with Mason. I wanted it to be him and I had come to need his love as the nutrition to sustain me. In that moment, I didn’t give a flying fucking shit what anyone else thought.

I collapsed against him, my heart pounding and
my breathing erratic. “I love you, Mason. Please take care of my heart.”

“No question. I always will. I’ve never loved like this before Lainie
, and I can’t let you go.”

“Good.”

He soothed my back and held me close, as he softened
inside me. I didn’t want to move off of him, because I knew what it meant. He would have to go soon. I wanted him for a week, all to myself and yet I knew he would be traveling soon and I would have to live on this moment alone.

As if he heard me, he said, “I need to get going soon.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” I said, never before uttering such sentiments to him.

“And I don’t want to go, love, but I must.”

“I know it’s just—” A ripple of guilt overcame my bliss as I struggled to swallow away the lump that had lodged in my throat. I shifted off of his lap and sat next to him on the towel covering the couch. Our joined aroma filled my senses and I no longer wanted to deal with my indiscretion. It really wasn’t important anymore? Was it?

“Just what?”

“Oh, never mind,” I said, lightly. I lay my head on his shoulder.

He pulled me
away from him and asked, “Is this about the other night?”

“Yes, I mean, y
ou have nothing to worry about. I’ve decided to avoid seeing Stay.”

“Why? I thought it wasn’t an issue.”
He shifted to face me.

Heat crawled up my neck to my ears.
“I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“If you need to avoid seeing him, something’s happened. What did you do Lainie?”
His deep voice of disapproval frightened me.

I started shaking, believing I had screwed up the best thing in my life. Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?
“Before I explain, please promise me something.”

“What?”
he said calmly which scared me even more.

“You’ll hear me out.”

He breathed out heavily and said, “Lainie, just say it because you are making it worse by making me wait.”

“I let him kiss me,” I forced out.

“Were you drinking?”

“Yes, but...
”

“But what?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. Listen, I’m not interested in Stay and I’ve made that crystal clear to him.”

“And it didn’t go further than that?”
He touched my thigh and it was as if the light had risen just slightly over the horizon.

“No. I felt horrible afterwards.”
I rested my hand on top of his.

“Okay, just don’t let it happen again.”

“I won’t,” I said, climbing back onto his lap. “I promise you. I love you Mason. I want you in my life and will be grateful for any time we can be together.”

“I’m going to be away a lot for the next few weeks. Can I steal you away on
Friday around lunchtime?”

“Meet at my place?”

“No, I won’t have that much time. We’ll meet up at a friend’s place.”