Embracing You, Embracing Me (11 page)

“No. We were not an item.”

I hoped that my curt answer would deter him
from probing further. We approached his Mustang and instead of getting what he
had come for out of the car, he deliberately turned around to face me. He
grabbed both of my hands into his and stood there in the moonlight, looking
down into my face.

I could hear my heart pounding, fearing
that he would somehow hear it also and would know how scared I truly was.

“Good,” he said, ignoring my brash
response. “I have heard some rumors about that guy and he has quite a
reputation.”

I stiffened and tried to keep my face
expressionless. I wondered what kind of reputation he meant and if he was
wondering about my own reputation. If he knew what had happened what did he
think of me? I took a shaky breath but didn’t respond, flexing my hands, still
held in his.

Gabriel continued look at me, into me.
“Guys like that are jerks and tend to get what they want no matter what the
cost is. They don’t care who they hurt or what they have to do, just so long as
they get their way.” He paused, carefully watching my face. He had hit the
hammer right on the nail.

I realized at that moment that Gabriel did
know. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know if he had just guessed or what he had
heard, but he somehow knew. And he was telling me in his own way that it didn’t
matter. We stared at each other for what were only seconds but felt like an
eternity as we came to a silent understanding. There was an unspoken agreement
that my secret was in the open and we were moving beyond it. So much was
translated without a single word as we searched each other’s face looking for
resolution.

Gabriel slowly stepped closer and leaned
down as if he was going to kiss me, but paused just inches away.

I knew the kiss was coming and braced for
it. I wanted that kiss more than anything but also feared it and what would
develop from it. I took in a sharp breath. He hesitated and I wondered if I had
been mistaken.

Then he tilted his head and leaned in
further, with his lips close to my ear. He spoke in a whisper and I could feel
his warm breath on my neck. “May I kiss you?”

It was a simple question but the fact that
he had asked permission spoke volumes. I answered in a breathy whisper, “Yes.”

Expecting something intense I was taken by
surprise when I closed my eyes and felt only a light brushing of his lips
against mine. His lips were soft and hesitant, as if he were giving me the
chance to change my mind.

Touched by his gentleness, I slowly leaned
in and parted my lips to allow the kiss to deepen.

His warm, strong hands cupped the sides of
my face and the tenderness was almost unbearable as we shared a slow, deep
kiss.

Gabriel stepped back and reached into the
car to gather his things, and avoiding my still bruised and sore right hand he
grabbed my left as we strolled down the path and joined our friends by the
fire.

Over the next week, Gabriel’s schedule was
incredibly busy, between training for his new job at the small grocery store in
Mount Pleasant, and helping out with the family floral business.

I started to feel pretty put out about it,
but kept reminding myself that I was only one of many girls that Gabriel had to
choose from and just because we’d had such a great time at the bonfire, didn’t
mean that he would want to continue anything further. Still, that evening had
been special to me and I had a hard time believing that it had meant nothing to
him.

The rest of the time we had snuggled into
his sleeping bag, lying on our backs, staring up at the starry sky as we joked
and shared stories with the others. At eleven-thirty he packed up our things
and drove me home down the mountain, holding my hand while we listened to
music. Like a gentleman, he walked me to the front door and gave me another
light kiss goodnight.

I was dreamy-eyed as I gave mom a peck on
her cheek and headed to bed.

At school we had very different classes and
only saw each other during lunch but it felt awkward to interact in that
setting. I was quiet and introverted when he was around as I wondered if he was
possibly regretting the time spent together that last Saturday. Maybe he had
thought about it and decided that he did have a problem with the Erin thing or the fact that I lived in a rustic old trailer. Maybe he had found someone
richer, prettier, more popular. They were all questions that felt ridiculous
and sophomoric but I couldn’t keep from worrying over them.

He kept his distance and I had no idea why
or what to do about it. And not knowing what to do about something was quite
possibly one of the worst feelings for me to deal with. I hated feeling unsure
or without answers. It left me feeling like a loose end that needed to be cut
before it became too frayed and ugly. It was a feeling that I detested because
it subconsciously reminded me of how completely out of control things in life
could sometimes be, especially if one wasn’t diligent about protecting
themselves from being hurt or disappointed. Have no expectations; that was my
motto, that way no one could break your heart. At least that was something I
was trying to aspire to. Although at that current moment, I hated to admit that
I was failing miserably.

As the second week of our odd behavior
progressed, I started to get angry with my despondent reaction. So it was easy
for him to ignore me and act like nothing had passed between us. What should I
care? He had made no promises or declarations, but I was filled with despair
nonetheless.

Then one Wednesday evening after I returned
home from ballet lessons, and had taken a shower to erase the salty sweat from
a grueling session, I was grumbling under my breath while I washed the dinner
dishes. My aunt, uncle and their children often joined us for dinner, and
every-other evening it was left to me to clean up the piles of dishes left from
the day.

It was my least favorite of chores and I
resented the fact that my cousins rarely had to help around the house at all. I
figured school all day, followed by the hour and a half dance lessons, and
homework were plenty of responsibilities, but I dug into the dreaded deed and
kept my complaints to a low mumble so that I was my only audience.

Everyone else was in the living room
watching the consistently too loud television, so I didn’t hear the light knock
on the door. My aunt peeked her bright, round face into the small kitchen,
“Roshell you have a guest.”

I didn’t bother to look up from my soapy
task, figuring that Sabrina was probably the guest, although it was pretty
weird that my aunt called her that since Sabrina was pretty much a family
member at that point.

Then I felt something in the air shift and
knew without looking that Gabriel was there.

I gave him a sideways glance and tried to
be as nonchalant about it as possible, when in all reality I was freaking out.
Why
now?
I wondered. Why did he have to show up when I was looking so horrible,
like a freak show? I remembered that my hair was still wet from the shower. I
didn’t have any makeup on, and I was standing there in the messy kitchen with
pruned up hands in dirty dishwater! And him? Oh man, did he look good!

He leaned against the doorway and had a
little smirk on his face as he took in the dreadful sight that I must have made.

GABRIEL:
She looked as if she had just stepped out of the shower and had on
short flannel boxer shorts and a small t-shirt. Her face was scrubbed clean and
had a healthy pink glow that made me want to reach out and touch the softness
of it.

Everything she was thinking was playing
over her face as she tried to process why I had dropped in out of the blue.

Truth be told, I had been deliberating for
days about stopping by. I was going back and forth about it because I was
frankly confused with how her behavior toward me at school had been since the
night at the bonfire. I only made a final decision when Darren mentioned to me
earlier in the day that Amber kept asking questions about whether I was
interested in Roshell. A friend would only be as curious as the one she was
asking for, so I took the chance.

“Hey,” he said.

Gabriel’s flippant, one word greeting
immediately flared my temper and I quickly dropped the charade. “What are you
doing here?” I snapped.

Ignoring my rudeness he went straight to an
explanation, “My shift at the store ended early tonight and I thought that I
would drop by to say hi.”

I shrugged and resumed my dish washing,
suddenly scrubbing with a violent vigor. “Well you’ve said it. You can go now!
Bye.”

Gabriel sighed as he straightened to his
full height in the doorway. “Look, you’re obviously pissed at me and I’m not
sure exactly why, but I don’t think that you really want me to leave. Do you,
Roshell?” he asked pointedly.

I turned to face him full-on, a dripping
hand placed on my right hip, “You arrogant ass! You have barely talked to me
this past week and a half. Then you just show up here in my kitchen with a
smarmy smirk on your face, claiming that you have no idea why I would be
pissed. Then you dare me to tell you that I don’t want you to leave? Well, I
do. I’m busy. Now go!”

Gabriel’s smiled spread into a full-fledged
grin.

GABRIEL:
It’s about damn time. I have been waiting for Roshell’s feisty side
to show. I don’t like the fact that she isn’t her usual self any time I’m
around. I have no doubt that this little outburst is a step in the right
direction.

“Well I’m sorry you feel that way,” he
said, “but I can’t really leave quite yet, since your aunt already invited me
to stay for dessert.”

“Oh, she did, did she? Well… that’s just
great! That’s fine! Wipe that smile off your face.” And I turned back to the
sink, fuming that I was being subjected to such humiliation.

Gabriel stepped aside as my aunt bustled
into the room, checking on the blackberry cobbler that was in the oven.

“Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, sure smells good Auntie,” he
said.

“Auntie?” I raised my eyebrows in question.

He continued to smile as he put his arm
around my Aunt Kelli’s shoulders. “That’s right, your aunt and I hit it off
great. She said that I could call her auntie anytime.”

Aunt Kelli reached over, patting Gabriel’s
cheek. “You are such a sweet boy. Isn’t he just a sweet boy Roshell?” but
didn’t wait for a response and kept right on talking in her typically loud,
vibrant voice, “Now you go on out to the living room and I will bring your
dessert right out.”

Oh, he was just loving this, wasn’t he?
I thought with a snort as I watched him saunter out of the kitchen.
Aunt Kelli started complaining about something to do with the way the oven
cooked things unevenly as she pulled out the cobbler. I tuned her out and
focused on finishing my chore.

By the time I wrapped up and joined
everyone else, my aunt was in the process of setting up a small card table in
the middle of the cramped living room. Sabrina was there too, with a small bag
hanging over her shoulder and grinning her face off. “Mom said that I could
spend the night.”

I knew that the “mom” she was referring to
was my mom. Lately, she and Amber had become quite chummy with mom because she
was such a good listener. She always had a welcoming smile on her face and a
way about her that made people open up and talk about their personal lives. My
friends really cared about her and came to rely on her as an adult that they
could talk to and trust not to judge them or tell them what to do.

Mom piped in cheerily, “We have plenty of
people to play a good game of Continental Rummy, so I invited your friends to
stay for awhile.” Then she turned to Gabriel. “Do you know how to play Gabe?”

“No, but I’m a fast learner!”

“Ughh, have fun you guys, I’m going to
bed.” But as I started to stomp off Gabriel caught me by the arm, “Come on, you
have to play too. It’ll be fun.” He paused and gave the most pathetic puppy dog
eyes ever. “Pleassse.”

Resolve broken, I realized I was being
ridiculously rude and stubborn and decided to stop carrying on. Besides, he was
so adorable and I couldn’t rely deny that I was happy to see him. I really
didn’t want him to go.

“Okay fine, but I suck at cards!” I
relented but made sure to keep my pout in place.

“Great! Then I can kick your sorry butt!”
Gabriel taunted, with a devilish grin.

We played for two hours before mom finally
called it quits. Aunt Kelli asked her husband to gather their sleeping kids to
haul them across the street and put them to bed. Then she said goodnight and
snuck out the door.

Sabrina headed towards my room to change
into pajamas. Gabriel stood up from the uncomfortable folding chair he had been
sitting in and stretched his limbs.

My mom gave me a knowing look. “Why don’t
you walk your friend out to his car Roshell.” It was a statement not a
question. Way too obvious. Thanks mom.