Embracing You, Embracing Me (20 page)

“Umm, okayyyy?” I raised out of the
recliner, stepped around the coffee table and sat down at the other end of the
couch, moving cautiously, treading softly on new territory.

Gabriel simply shook his head. “Nope,
closer”

I scooted further down until I was
approximately a foot away, then flashed a sideways glance and a shy grin. “Is
this good?”

“Almost,” and with that he grabbed me by
the waist and hauled me into his lap. “There that’s just about perfect.”

I giggled with delight. “Well then. This is
awkward.” My face was flushed with embarrassment.

“Why awkward? I like it!” He was enjoying
my discomfort.

I held out my hands, palms up, perplexed.
“Well for one thing, the last time that we saw each other was three years ago.
For another, that particular time you were totally pissed at me! Now you want
me to sit in your lap. Do you really not understand why I’m confused?”

I squirmed in his lap and waited for his
response.

“I was mad, but like you said, that was
three years ago. I’m over it and now I’m just glad to see you.” He cocked his
head to the side. “Aren’t you glad to see me?”

I crossed my arms over my chest,
bewildered. “Of course I’m glad to see you, it’s just… I don’t know, I wasn’t
sure you would even want to talk to me, much less see me, and now you’re here
and you’re just so…” Ugh, I couldn’t think of exactly the right words, “… different.”

Gabriel’s face relaxed and became
thoughtful. He looked me straight in the face, “You’re right. I am different.
On the drive out here, I made a decision. I decided that life is too short to
be playing games with the people that you care about, so I’m going to just put
all the cards on the table and be as direct and honest with you as I can. There
is no other way for me now. I hope you can deal with that.”

I took a deep breath and put my hand to his
cheek, feeling his freshly shaven skin under my fingertips. I had been right.
Everything was different. It was time to grow up and face my fears. “I think I
can handle that.” 

A familiar little bubble of laughter broke
into our dynamic. I hopped out of Gabriel’s lap, knowing that Marissa and Amber
were approaching. I opened the front door just in time to have my little
munchkin rush across the doorway and wrap around my legs. I lifted her plump
little body and gave her a big smooch on her rosy cheek.

Gabriel remained seated because of his
foot, but I could feel his eyes burning into me as he watched my interaction
with Marissa. Would it be too weird for him to see me with a child? If it was,
then that would be that. Marissa was my whole world.  

Amber spoke up. “You’ll stay for dinner,
right?”

“Absolutely,” he said.

AMBER:
Gabriel and Roshell kept stealing secret little glances at each
other, and it was nice to see the two of them interacting again. Their
relationship has always baffled me. Any fool only had to spend a few minutes in
the same room with them to see the electricity and know that they care deeply
for each other, but for a reason that I have yet to identify, they have never
been able to take the relationship to the next level.

I have no doubt that Gabriel is Roshell’s
one true love, although I have never heard her speak those words out loud to
anyone. Roshell is the one that continues to hold back with him due to her own
tangled up feelings towards love and men in general. I understand it, but don’t
at the same time.

Gabe is accepting of Marissa and is already
smitten with her. This could be it. This may finally be the right time for my
friends to explore their feelings, to finally have a future together.

As the evening wound down, Marissa began to
yawn more frequently and kept rubbing her eyes with her little fists. I excused
myself and put her down for the night. When her body went slack with sleep, I
tucked her in and joined the other two in the living room. It looked like
Gabriel was ready to head home. I tried to curb my disappointment. Then I
noticed the conspiratorial looks he and Amber were giving. They were
shifty-eyed and up to no good. Glancing back and forth between the two of them,
I asked, “What’s going on? What are you two up to?”

Amber attempted to wipe the wicked grin off
her face without success. “Nothing, we were just working out a few details.”
She was folding a load of laundry that she had pulled out of the dryer earlier.
“Anyway, you need to grab an overnight bag, so you two can be on your way.” She
avoided direct eye contact.

“Umm, I didn’t know that I was leaving.
What about Marissa?” I wasn’t really sure I liked where this was leading.

She folded her jeans, her expression
obscure. “I will watch her for you. She is already asleep, how hard can it be?”
She finally looked up and caught my worried expression. “Don’t worry, she and I
will be just fine. Gabriel and you are going to go have a good time over at
Darren’s tonight. You could use some grown up time. Go on. Get out of here and
we’ll see you in the morning.”

I was dumbstruck. The rest of my evening
had been planned without my knowledge and I was stuck between feeling flattered
and annoyed. After a moment’s hesitation I admitted that I wasn’t quite ready
to part from Gabriel yet. Giving in, I simply nodded, spun on my heel and snuck
back into the bedroom to gather a few of my things.

When I settled into the front seat of his
four- wheel drive, I was practically giddy with the thought of having a whole
evening to myself. I turned to face him, staring at his handsome profile while
he concentrated on backing up in the dark driveway. I flashed him a flirty
pout. “Did you miss me?”

Gabriel simply grinned, reached out, and
pushed a CD into the player. The vehicle was filled with the tune of a country
song that I was familiar with. The singer’s voice resonated strong as he belted
out lyrics indicating that he only missed his girl on days that end in ‘y’.

I laughed. My heart melted. “You had that
one planned out, didn’t you?” 

He gave a sly wink, turned up the volume
and sang along.

I was having such a great time, watching
Gabriel and Darren banter back and forth, harassing each other the way they had
always done. They had such a captivating way of jibing each other that everyone
else in the room ended up being a willing and entertained audience.

Darren’s girlfriend had recently moved in
with him and so the four of us visited on the back porch swing enjoying the
clear, starry night before hopping into the hot tub for a soak. Gabriel had to
improvise and propped his foot with the cast out on the ledge. Afterward, we
found ourselves in the kitchen, wrapped in towels, famished and foraging for a
midnight snack.  

Darren spoke up, “So, uh… I was hoping that
you two would stay the night and I took it upon myself to make up the guest
room bed.” He looked over his pastrami sandwich, all innocence, as if he didn’t
realize what he was insinuating.

I blushed and stammered, not sure if I was
comfortable with the assumption, but Gabriel rushed in for the save. “That’s
cool, Darren. I’ll let Roshell have the bed. I’ll just grab a sleeping bag out
of the hall closet and sleep on the couch.” He didn’t bother to look up as he
dug into the fridge and pulled out a beer.

Darren shrugged his shoulders, shoving the
last huge bite into his mouth. He stood up, placed his plate in the sink, then
swallowed, and said to his girlfriend, “Time to tuck me in honey, I’m wiped!”
He held out his hand pulling her to his side. “G’night you two.”

I stood by the counter and pulled my towel
tighter to my body, suddenly self-conscious, as I watched Gabriel set his beer
on the counter and hobble down the hall. He pulled a sleeping bag out of the
closet on the right. Leaning on his crutch, he pointed to a door further down.
“That’s your room. You can put your stuff in there.”  

I nodded and grabbed my things to change.
With simple pajamas of a thin pink tank top and pink striped flannel bottoms,
my teeth brushed, I padded barefoot to the living room where Gabriel was
flipping through the channels.

“Mind if I join you for a while? I’m not
sleepy yet,” I asked with my hands clasped together.  

Gabriel simply clicked off the television.
“I was hoping you would say that.” He leaned back into the plush, deep brown
sofa, and hooked his finger, silently beckoning me closer. I snuggled into the
crook of his arm as he wrapped it around me.

GABRIEL:
I hadn’t planned on kissing her right away but when I saw her full
bottom lip just begging me to, I couldn’t help myself.

I kept the kiss slow at first, taking her
lip into my teeth satisfying the urge that had been nagging me all day. Then
her tongue swept into my mouth and her taste was sweeter than I had remembered.
I found myself enjoying the familiarity of her, as well as relishing the new
sensations that were there after so many years. When she sighed and relaxed
further into the kiss, it damn near broke my reserve., So I pulled back and
offered to call it a night.

He was once again offering me full control
of the situation and it still meant so much that he would put my needs, my
concerns, first. There was no other way that I would rather have spent the
night than in his arms.

“Don’t sleep out here on the couch. I don’t
want to be alone tonight.” My voice was a husky whisper.

Gabriel searched my green eyes, looking for
hesitation before reaching for his crutches, and following me toward the bedroom.

I didn’t turn to face him until I heard the
door click shut. When I sat on the edge of the bed, my heart was full to
overflowing as I watched the man that I’d always loved. He propped his crutches
in the corner then hobbled toward me.

The room was quiet. We didn’t speak but
words were unnecessary. We sat face to face, still, peaceful in the moment.
Reaching up, he gently tugged my hair free from the pony tail and it tumbled
down to my shoulders.  

My body was shivering with anticipation.
The moonlight filtered in through the half opened blinds offering the serenity
and solitude of the night. I couldn’t resist reaching up to his face to feel
the newly growing stubble. It had always driven him crazy how fast his facial
hair grew: he could shave every single morning but by nightfall his face would
already be rough with new growth. But I loved the raspy feel of it and had
missed the casual intimacy that came from simply reaching out and touching his
face.

I had missed him terribly. Did he have any
idea how much I felt for him, how much I yearned for him? Did his body hum with
an incomprehensible knowing every time I entered the room, just as mine did?

We kissed and the rest of the world ceased
to exist. It was everything.  

When Gabriel pulled back his eyes were
intense, hungry. “Tell me you want me. Tell me you need me,” he demanded.

Didn’t he already know, I wondered. “I do.
I want you,” I shivered, “I need you. I always have.”

He buried his face in my neck, pulling me
tight. “God, I missed you so much!”  

We were lost to one another.

We lay quiet, sated, as our senses slowly
came back and allowed the outside world in.

“When do you have to go back home, back to Washington?” Gabriel asked.

I sensed that he was curbing himself from
asking a more direct question; like what this night meant for the two of us. I
decided that since he had been so upfront with me, he deserved the same.

“I have to go back in four days. I have to
make a few arrangements with my future roommate, so that we can secure a
rental. Meanwhile, I have to get my butt in gear and find a job. My divorce
will be final in less than two months, but I have to remain in the area so my
ex can have his designated visitation.”

Gabriel processed this. “That sucks, how
can they require you to live in a specific area? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, you have to file some sort of
petition to move your child out of state, outlining how you intend to maintain
visitation with the other parent. He won’t have custody, but he still has
rights as her father. Besides I wouldn’t want to keep them apart. I want them
to maintain their relationship as best as possible.”

Gabriel was lightly running his fingertips
along my shoulder as he followed the dialog. “I can understand that. And since
it’s only a four hour drive, it wouldn’t be a huge stretch to assume that you
could move back down here without too much of a hang up, as long as you filed
your petition properly. If you were inclined, that is. I know that Amber would
love it if you moved back.”

“Amber, huh?” I tilted my head to look up
at him with a sideways smirk. He wasn’t fooling me.

“Well, maybe not just Amber,” he teased.

I laid my head back down, content with the
almost admission. “I think that I would like to
eventually
head back
down here,” I paused, choosing my words carefully, “but I need to get myself
straight first. I need to get right with my own recent history so that I can be
sure how to move forward. Not just for me, but for my daughter and for any
future relationships.”