Embracing You, Embracing Me (4 page)

Irresistible.

So yeah, I’m here at the prom as a “friend”
but can you blame a guy for hoping?

As the car pulled up to the Hilton Hotel I
felt little butterflies flutter in my stomach. Tim had picked me up in a four
door sedan around six. One other couple, friends of Tim’s, rode along,
double-dating. We ate dinner at a smart restaurant, an unusual experience for
me. I wasn’t my usual chatty self: instead I silently fretted about which fork
to use or whether I might spill food on my beautiful dress. Grandma nearly
broke the bank to buy it for me. It was in perfect unison with the style that
defined all prom dresses made in the early nineties and I loved it. Big puffy
shoulders, cinched waist, satiny layered skirts, and of course, vivid colors,
in my case plum purple. For once I thought that I looked almost pretty.

Tim parked the car and ran around to open
my door.

As he led me up the steps, I spotted
Sabrina arriving in a gray pick-up truck with the date she had invited from
another school. A grin spread across my face as I sized up Sabrina’s ensemble.
Of course, Sabrina had chosen to wear a cotton-candy pink dress that had black
polka dots splattered all over it and thick tooling under the skirt, flaring it
out dramatically. Classic Sabrina. No one else in the place would have dared to
venture out in such a bold dress and I knew how stoked she was about her find.
I would never reveal how hideous I thought the dress really was, especially
since Sabrina wore it so well. I respected anyone who could pull off that
dress, so to speak, and still be gorgeous.

I followed Tim toward a group of his
friends who had already claimed a table. I didn’t know any of them personally
as they were seniors.
But hey
, I thought:
just put on a brave face
and make small talk.

Well, it wasn’t exactly small, since you
had to practically yell over the music, but I did my best. At least it was good
music.

And then I noticed Amber sitting at a table
with Gabriel, Darren, his date and a few other couples. My heart plummeted. I
steeled my rampant trepidation and repeated my promise:
Get over it. You’re
going to have a blast tonight whether you like it or not! That doesn’t even
make sense.

Amber made eye contact and scurried across
the room so we could ooh and ahh about how great we looked.

“So?” I asked excitedly. “How’s it going so
far? How did dinner go?”

“It was great, except I only ordered salad
so that I wouldn’t look like a cow at dinner and now I am totally starving. I
have got to work my way over to the snack table. Come on.” She grabbed my elbow
and marched toward the food. She piled her plate high with crackers slathered
in a weird salmon-colored goop. “I don’t even know what the hell this is, but
it looks edible and that’s all that matters.”

I giggled as she devoured the appetizers
with avarice.

Sighing, not quite as famished, Amber spoke
up: “Much better. Anyway, about dinner; So Darren and Kerri rode along with me
and Gabe so we could double-date. Well, while we were having our meal, Darren
kept looking at me. You know, like
really
looking at me. At first I
thought that I was imagining it, but he kept doing it and he even raised his
eyebrows at me once, you know… all flirty like.” Amber raised her eyebrows in a
mock imitation. “Not sure Kerri noticed, but I’m pretty sure that Gabe did. It
didn’t seem to bother him though.”

I was riveted. “So what do think is up with
that business?”

Amber shrugged her teal blue puffy sleeves.
“Haven’t a clue, but I am definitely going to get my hopes up. Anyway, we’d
best get back to our dates. Catch ya later.”

Walking back to the table I could see Tim
hunched suspiciously close together with a few of the guys. They broke apart
when I pulled out my chair. As I sat down, Tim leaned in and asked if I wanted
to dance. I was about to accept when I caught the faint whiff of alcohol on his
breath.

“Have you been drinking?” I asked,
appalled.

Tim didn’t miss a beat. “Just a little.
Here you want some?” He reached inside his tuxedo jacket and pulled out a
flask. “It’s some Jim Beam that I swiped off the old man, just to get the night
going.”

Not only was I mortified, I was royally
ticked. Here I was at prom and my date was already half snockered. It was the
opposite of awesome.

“Umm, I don’t think so,” I quipped
haughtily. Then one of his buddies cut into the conversation, “That prude isn’t
going to want a drink of that. She probably couldn’t even handle it!” He had a
nasty little sneer on his face that made me blush and want to sink into my
chair.

Tim spoke up. “Naw, she’s cool. I wouldn’t
want her to anyway.” Though I was grateful that he had spoke up in my defense,
I wondered if he was a little disappointed in me as well.

Part of me felt ashamed and guilty, but I
still wasn’t going to start drinking whiskey at my first prom. And now I had to
worry about how I was going to get home, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to
get in the car with a bunch of soused up teenagers.

Tim held out his hand. “Let’s dance,
Roshell.” Refusing to be a buzz kill, I allowed him to lead me onto the dance
floor and quickly lost myself to the music.

I loved to dance. It fixed everything. As a
little girl I was always pirouetting around the living room and imagining
myself as a prima ballerina. Ballet was not my only outlet for my passion for
dancing though: I could just as easily fall into hip-hop booty shaking, or rock
and roll head banging with the rest of them. Everything that was bothering me
would temporarily melt away as the rhythm of the music took control of my limbs
and carried my mind and soul to another reality. A reality that spoke of inner
passions that I wasn’t even entirely aware of but my body already was. Secrets
and longings that spoke to my heart and could only be released by the notes, as
they coursed through my body.

For the next hour I gave myself over to the
pumping music, and joined a group that seemed to take their dancing just as
seriously. I couldn’t help noticing that Amber and Darren were paying more attention
to each other than their respective dates. I also noticed that Gabriel didn’t
seem to be offended or care either way. He danced with numerous girls
throughout the night and appeared to be enjoying himself regardless of his
date’s obvious flirtations with his best friend.

Admit it, I said to myself as I did my best
Running Man dance move, you’re relieved that Gabriel isn’t showing a romantic
interest in your friend. And I was.

For a fleeting moment I nearly talked
myself into asking Gabriel to dance. An image of him rejecting me swam into my
head; then I imagined him laughing at me. I immediately abandoned that idea and
decided to get some fresh air instead.

Snagging both Sabrina and Amber, I herded
them toward the door so we could check in with each other and swap the
evening’s gossip. Just before we reached the exit, Tim caught up and asked
where I was going.

“I’m just hot and need some fresh air,” I
said. “Don’t worry. These two will be with me.”

Tim grudgingly stayed behind as he accepted
my hint to leave us be. He jammed his hands into his pockets and pouted
boyishly as he watched us file out the back door.

The night air had barely touched our clammy
skin before Sabrina laid into me. “Holy crap! Is Tim drunk? He was totally
slurring his words just now!”

I shivered as my body complained about the
sudden drop in temperature. “Umm, pretty much. My luck huh? I actually get
invited to prom and it happens to be by Mr. ‘Hey you want some Jim Beam to get
the party started?’ I had lowered my voice an octave to impersonate Tim. “And
the fact that he totally reeks isn’t even the worst of it! I have absolutely no
idea how I’m going to get home.” I sighed and plopped down into one of the
chairs on the veranda.

“Hey you can hitch a ride home with us,”
Amber said. “You actually live pretty close to Darren. They could drop you off
right after me.”

I looked at Amber suddenly hopeful. “But my
curfew is earlier than yours. I’m supposed to head home straight after the
dance, which means I’m expected no later than 12:30 a.m. Grandma’s rules,
remember.”

Amber put two fingers to her forehead and
chewed her lower lip. “Well my curfew isn’t until two, so they could drop you
off first, or I could just go home early. Either way, I’ll put it to the guys.”

Amber’s matter-of-fact tone already had me
feeling better. “Okay, thanks Am”. I stood up and put my hands on my hips. “All
right, enough about me. I saw you dancing with Darren and you’ve had googley
eyes at each other all night. What is going on?”

Sabrina snickered. “Yeah, and Kerri looks
like she might poke your eyes out before the night is over, if it keeps up like
this.”

Amber’s eyes widened. “Really? Uh oh! I’m
not trying to piss her off. It’s just so weird that Darren keeps talking to me
instead of her and I really like him, so it’s not like I’m just going to ignore
him.”

“Don’t even stress about it. This is all
just prom drama,” Sabrina muttered. “Everyone has temporary insanity tonight.
Just go with it.” We all chuckled.

“What about your night, Sabrina?” I asked.

She gently rolled her right wrist in
circles. “Other than the fact that when my date picked me up I tripped walking
down my front steps and sprained my wrist, it’s been fairly uneventful. It was
crazy: one minute I was upright, then the next thing I knew, my feet were
moving beneath me without my permission, my arms were flailing, I’m pretty sure
I spoke in tongues, and then I was on my butt and my right wrist was throbbing.
All of which occurred in front of God and all his glory, of course.”

Amber and I paused a beat then burst out
laughing. “Why do I always miss these things?” I said, gasping for air.

Sabrina was infamous for having massive
wipeouts that typically involved some sort of bodily harm. And her detailed and
animated play-by-play of these acrobatic accidents of hers was always
hilarious.

Cold, we headed back into the dance, pumped
up for the rest of our fun-filled evening. Sabrina nudged my arm and pointed to
a small commotion in the far corner. A few of the chaperones were giving Tim
and one of his friends the what for. Suddenly the guys stood up and were
escorted out the front door.
Great! What now
, I thought.

The girlfriend of Tim’s buddy ran toward
me, her face stricken: “Hey, the guys just got kicked out of prom for drinking.
How embarrassing! Everyone will be talking about it on Monday. This’ll be the
in joke.” Then to my horror, the poor thing started to sob, face buried in her
palms. Things just kept getting better by the minute.

Though I felt bad for her, I was always
awkward around tears. I stiffly patted her shoulder and handed her a napkin
from the closest table. After an uncomfortable moment, the crying mess of a
girl moved over to her own circle of friends and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“All righty then,” said Amber, her
expression priceless. “I guess I’ll be arranging that ride home now.” She
turned in a swish of satin and strode away on a mission.

I looked at Sabrina my own expression a mix
of shock and disgust. “I’m going to find something to drink then hide in a
corner before the night gets any worse.”

As I poured a cup of fruit punch, I felt
someone brush up against my right side, and turning to see who was invading my
personal space I inhaled sharply. Gabriel was standing very, very close and
looking directly at me. I took a slight step to the side and smiled up at him.
Part of my brain kept encouraging me to say something witty, or smart, or just
anything at all that resembled words, but instead I stared. I stared and
smiled, waiting, for what seemed like an eternity, for thoughts to organize
themselves into coherent sentences. Still, I stared and smiled.

“I heard about Tim getting booted out.”
Gabriel was soft spoken, to the point that sometimes it would take a moment to
register that he had even spoken at all. But I heard him and clung to every
word.

Then I processed the meaning of the words
and blushed, stammering defensively, “I didn’t think he would bring alcohol to
prom. We aren’t a couple or anything. We just came as friends.”
Just shut
up, before you say something really stupid
, I thought, pressing my lips
together.

His stare was direct and penetrating as if
he could look right into me. I felt overwhelmed by the intensity of his blue
eyes, and glanced down at my glass stupidly. My head shot up again when he
offered his assistance with my predicament. “So anyway, Amber said that you
needed a ride home. I’m spending the night out at Darren’s, and since I’m
driving, we can drop you off on the way home if you want. We can leave right
after the dance so that you won’t be late.”

Yep. I definitely felt like I was about to
choke. “Um, wow! Yeah, that would be really great! I… uh… yeah thanks!” I again
chided myself for my complete lack of social grace. I
am so royally screwing
this up
, I thought, taking a sip of the wickedly sweet punch in an effort
to seem casual.