Finding Solace (70 page)

 
Everyone
looked at me for the answer. It was too bad that I didn’t have the one they
wanted.

 
"We
can't agree. I know we have to soon. It’s just so hard."

 
"You
both will figure it out. I have faith."

 
"I hope
so. Time isn't standing still for us or these babies."

 
The place
started to get pretty full and I knew it was going to start soon. I was sitting
front and center just as I had promised. The mayor came out to speak first,
congratulating all the students on their exemplary behavior. After his speech,
he introduced the head of the academy.

 
He also
spoke highly of the group saying, "They constituted great stamina and
would all be exceptional men to have on your team. When rushing into a burning
building, you couldn't ask for a better set of men to have by your side."

 
All of the
students marched out to the center of the stage. Ash was next to the podium
when it came time to sit down in the chairs. They announced each individual by
name. When it was Ash's turn, we all screamed and hollered. When the special
awards were being given out, I was waiting for his. It took forever but the
time finally came. When they announced "Best over All" to
be
Asher Williams, we all went crazy! I screamed the loudest
and his smile was worth everything to me. Throughout the program, Ash could not
have wiped the smile off his face if he tried. He had finally reached his goal
and I was so proud to witness it with my own eyes.

 
When the
ceremony seemed to be coming to an end, they announced one last award was to be
handed out. "Class Leader" was presented and Ash's name was announced
once again. I have never been more proud and honored to have that man be mine.
I stood to cheer him on and scream louder than I ever have before, when I felt
something wet between my legs and then a very sharp pain. I bent over and let
out a scream alright, but it was not one of cheer. It was from pure pain, worse
than I have ever felt. Everyone else was focused on Ash accepting the award,
and the noise was so deafening that I went unnoticed.

 
I could no
longer stand up. The pain was not what I thought labor pain would feel like. I
had suffered from Braxton Hicks for a while now. This was wrong and I knew it.
I screamed Ash’s name in panic as I went to my knees. With the roar of the
crowd still going, I have no idea how he heard me, but his eyes immediately
found mine as I went down. He dove from the stage rushing to grab me. With that
action, all the attention came to rest on me. Pain shot through me again. This
time I let out a blood curdling scream. My whole family was standing around me
in shock and panic. Michael was calling 911 from his cell phone. Ash held me
tight and attempted to pick me up. It was then when he let out his own scream.

 
"SOMEBODY
HELP MY WIFE.
SOMEBODY!"

 
Everyone was
jumping down from the stage. EMT training goes hand in hand with being a fire
fighter. Ash had it all, but with it being me, he seemed to be going blank. He
was speaking to his superior when I saw his hand. It was covered in blood. I
flipped out.
"My babies!
Oh my God, please
somebody, help my babies!"

 
My mom was
next to me rocking back and forth saying over and over, "It's going to be
okay. They are going to make everything okay. Sadie girl, listen to me. It’s
going to be okay."

 
Maria was
trying to comfort Ash, while Michael was still on the phone. Kate was by
Maria's side and my dad was next to my mom holding on to her shoulders trying to
support her. Another wave of pain hit me. This time I felt like the babies were
being ripped out of me. I can't describe to you the sound that came out of my
body. It was ear piercingly loud. Ash screamed again for help to get there.
Tears were falling from his eyes. He was so scared. So was I. I was losing the
babies, I just knew it.

 
The ambulance
showed up and the EMT's were at my side. I apparently was still losing a lot of
blood. They put me on a stretcher and carried me outside and into the ambulance.
Ash never let go of my hand. He climbed in with me and the doors closed. Wave
after wave hit me. The EMT said they were contractions. There was no way that
what I was feeling was just a contraction. The two EMT's were trying to explain
everything to me, but I could not focus on anything other than the pain and
fear.

 
The doors
opened and I was being pulled out and rolled into the hospital. Dr. Weiss was
called and on his way. They brought me to the labor and delivery operating
room. Ash was told he had to leave me and neither of us took that well. He was
screaming and I was crying. The nurse that met us at the elevator kept saying
it was because of sterile reasons during surgery. A house doctor ordered an
epidural. I didn’t understand what was happening. All I cared about was my
babies and no one was talking about them. Looking around the room, there seemed
to be ten to fifteen people all rushing around me. By this time, I had lost any
calm I had. I started to scream again. They all kept working and not one of
them was acknowledging the sound I was making or me for that matter. I heard a
familiar voice and stopped screaming when Dr. Weiss came to my side.

 
"Sadie,
you need to calm down. I understand your pain and panic, but we need you calm
to continue. What needs to happen at this
point,
is to
control the bleeding. You’re losing too much blood. Your placenta has detached,
which is known as a placental abruption. I am going to correct that now. A
transfusion is on hand and ready if needed. Now please, let us do our
jobs."

 
"I need
my husband. Please."

 
He looked
down at me and said, "Our main concern is you right now. If I can control
the situation we will see what we can do."

 
He was gone
after that. I
laid
on the table feeling numb inside
and out. If I don’t make it, will my babies still be okay? Ash having to take
on the twins by
himself
would be so hard. We never
named them. They do not even have names! I started to panic again when a nurse
came over and pushed something into my IV. I fell asleep seconds later.

 
I started to
wake up and heard Ash. My eyes flew open to see if I was dreaming. No, I was
not. He was right next to me, but he was dressed in hospital scrubs with the
mask and all.

 
"Sadie.
Can you hear me?"

 
My mouth was
so dry, but I managed to say “Yes" and shake my head up and down.

 
"Your
placenta, it tore away. That's what all the blood was from. Dr. Weiss is a
miracle worker and got everything under control. You’re still in the operating
room because they are going to take the babies out now. That's why they pulled
you out from the anesthetic they had used. You get to remember, princess. This
is big. Dr. Weiss said he could have delivered them while you were under, but
he felt like you had gone through enough and needed a light at the end of this
nasty tunnel."

 
A tear fell
down my cheek. I needed this. Thank God, for the doctor I had.

 
"How
did you get in here?"

 
"A
nurse came and got me. It’s almost time, Sadie. In a couple minutes, we are
going to see the babies."

 
He ran a thumb
across my cheek to wipe the tears that were falling. We stayed just like that,
me on the table and Ash in the chair beside me.

 
"I love
you so much, Sadie."

 
"I love
you too, Ash."

 
Shuffling
started at the other end of the room and then I heard gloves snap on.

 
"You
guys ready to meet these two?"

 
I couldn’t
see anything because there was a sheet or something like it, hanging to block
the view. But with the sound of Dr. Weiss, I knew it was time. Ash held my hand
and we waited to hear what came next. All of a sudden, I felt something. I
looked at Ash with wide eyes. He could tell something was going on, so he
asked, "What is it, princess?"

 
"They
are cutting me."

 
"You
can feel that?"

 
"Yes,
but it doesn't hurt. It’s just uncomfortable."

 
"That's
crazy."

 
"Not as
crazy as right now. Oh my God, I can feel them pulling me open. It kind of
hurts but not bad. Ash, this is insane. We are going to meet our babies."

 
I was
smiling from ear to ear and so was he. All of the ups and downs had led us to
this very moment.

 
Then I heard
Dr. Weiss's voice again.

 
"Ash,
would you like to stand up? There is something I think you would like to
see."

 
Ash looked
at me for permission. I shook my head yes and then he stood.

 
Seconds
later, I heard the most beautiful sound ever to hit my ears. My baby was
crying.

 
"This
one is your son, and he is a big guy."

 
"Oh my
God, Sadie, he's amazing. This is incredible."

 
Even though
I was jealous that I couldn't see, I was filled with a euphoric sense of love.
My family had started. My son had a set of lungs on him and boy, could he
scream. Then Dr. Weiss said it was time to get our daughter. She came out
wailing as well. Ash burst into tears. Sobbing was more like it. I hoped that it
didn't mean something was wrong, but when he turned to look down at me I knew
those were happy tears and then my eyes matched his.

 
Ash was
allowed to cut the cords, something I wasn’t sure he was going to want to do.
Then he came back to sit by me while they examined them.

 
"Sadie,
they are perfect. Just perfect! We are parents, Sadie. Oh my God, thank you.
Thank you for giving me the most amazing family anyone could ever ask
for."

 
"You
gave it to me too. We did this together, you and me."

 
"Yes,
we did."

 
A nurse came
over and grabbed Ash again. Dr. Weiss was suturing my incision closed while the
babies were being cleaned and weighed. Once I was done, the doctor came up to
me. He looked down and then in my eyes and said, "That was a close one,
dear. Everything is going to be just fine now. You’re going to have to take it
easy for a while though. Congratulations by the way. Those are two good looking
kids you've got, and big too. You’re one hell of trooper to carry all that as
long as you did. You did great."

 
"Thank
you for everything, doctor. You did so much for us. Thank you for keeping my
family healthy."

 
"It was
my pleasure and an honor. There are two little ones who would like to meet their
momma now. Take a look."

 
I turned my
head and on the other side was Ash. He was holding one in each arm. They were
perfect! I found myself balling again. Ash looked so natural holding them. He
laid our daughter down on my chest and held our son so I could give him a kiss.

 
"They
are so beautiful! How big are they?"

 
Dr. Weiss
answered and said, "Your son was seven pounds nine ounces, twenty inches
long. Your daughter was six pounds ten ounces, nineteen and a half inches long.
That makes two very big babies when you consider they are twins."

 
"That
doesn't surprise me at all. I felt every inch of them. So are they
healthy?"

 
"They
are perfect. The only
thing
they need are their
names."

 
I looked
down at our daughter and said, ‘Kendal Grace Williams’."

 
Then I
looked at Ash and said, “Are you okay with that?”

 
He looked at
me, smiled brighter than the sun and said, "Absolutely! So we are going to
do it, huh? Well then, hello there ‘Kaden Michael Williams’." He looked
down at our son with pride.

 
"I
think it’s perfect.
Kaden and Kendal Williams.
We did
good
, Ash, really good."

 
"Yes,
we did. I never knew I could love this much, Sadie. My heart almost feels like
it’s going to burst."

 
"I
couldn’t agree more.”

 
Dr. Weiss
informed us that the paparazzi, also known as our family and friends, were
waiting outside the OR doors for our first debut. It was time to show off our
family and get me to a normal room.

 
They
positioned the babies on either side of me, making it look like I was holding
them. I wish I could say that I could, but truth be told my body did not have
it left in me.