Forgotten Self (Forgotten Self #1) (20 page)

“
How?” I choke out painfully. I'm still not breathing.

He makes a joyful sound. “Oh, Abigail, it's wond
erful. Usually you're gone by the time I get here, but this time...” I watch him lean over and smell my hair. He sighs and caresses my cheek. “Your human mind can't control that power within you even as muffled as it is.”

A sick feeling pools into my stoma
ch. Dread appears as well. “But,” I stammer, “I don't understand. Where did Lucas...?”

“
I know,” he croons.  “One of those two angels of yours always gets in the way by the time I show up. If you haven't already ascended, that is
.
I had to get
him
out of t
he way. The other one has conveniently dropped off the map. ” He gives a sensuous shudder as he states, “I can't believe this is happening.”

Neither can I.

I feel a panic attack coming on. That memory, that horrible memory...oh my God. I know what he's he
re for. The angel Abigail wouldn't be in this predicament, but I'm powerless – other than this unintentional summoning, it seems. Of course my powers would do something passive like that. Couldn't call on them when I needed to, but they readily summoned de
mons for me.

“
Where's Lucas?” I whisper fearfully.

A smirk finds its way onto the demon's face. “Away.”

He places himself over me, holding my arms down. I struggle to move, but he merely shakes his head, his iron grip unmoved. “You're all mine, child.” His
eyes shift strangely. Black, silver, black. The beautiful face, the luscious hair that tumbles over his forehead – a beautiful demon.

My mouth opens in horror. I'm ready to scream, but find myself unable to. “Sorry, Abigail. You don't mind me using my pow
ers on you, do you?” He grins. “Now where should we start?” His flawless human hand traces a line from my throat down to my stomach. “I've waited for so long.”

Before his hand can move further, another demon appears in the room.

Aram
. My heart leaps at t
he thought of being saved.

Aram doesn't seem to notice me, but he sure looks annoyed. “Thamah, is this really necessary?” His fingers tap impatiently against his leg.

The other demon, Thamah, unhurriedly turns his head toward Aram. “Why are you interruptin
g me? This is none of your concern.”

Aram purses his lips and says haughtily, “Actually, it is. Lucifer has business with her.”

Thamah's grip lessens slightly. “Why haven't I heard about this before?”

“
I have no idea.” Aram shrugs. “Maybe you should show u
p to the meetings once in a while.”

“
Right,” Thamah growls before his gaze turns back to me. “I'm sure he won't mind if she's a little bit
used
.”

Aram slams a hand onto Thamah's shoulder. “Don't be foolish.”

Thamah pushes his hand back and steps away from
the couch. “Who are you to tell me what to do? I believe I possess a higher position than you,
brother
.” His eyes blaze with rage and power.

I still can't move so I'm forced to be an observer only. In my mind I'm running as fast as possible out the door o
r jumping through a window.

“
I agree,
brother,
” Aram imitates Thamah's nasty tone. “However, I think that Lucifer is in a position higher than both of us, yes?”

I can feel the waves of power rolling off of Thamah. He looks furious and frustrated; he must
know Aram is right. A small feeling of relief appears in my chest. Thamah's head whips toward me. “Don't think you're getting off so easily, Abigail. This isn't over.” And he leaves, taking the overwhelming presence of his anger with him.

The invisible hol
d on me releases and I fly off the couch for the front door. Aram pulls my hand before I get far. “Ready to talk?” Violently I kick his shin. He just laughs and lets me go. “You still have a few hours left, Abigail,” he calls. The last thing I hear before
the door shuts behind me is, “I'll
be waiting.”

Once again this week I'm fleeing my house. Hopefully this time no one will pop into the seat next to me. I check the clock on the dashboard. It's after five. Danielle will be home and she's the one I need t
o see. I turn off onto the main road and step down on the accelerator.

Strangely, no tears come after this horrible, awful experience. Instead a coldness drills its way into my stomach. No one will take advantage of me, in any way. I will not be made a vic
tim. Somehow I'm going to find a way to fight.

For now, though, I listen to the metal of my twisted bumper scraping on the pavement and focus on nothing else as I drive to my best friend's house.

The doorbell rings six times before someone answers. I've
left my phone at home so I can't call. The echoes of the last bell are still sounding when the door finally opens. It's Danielle. And she's pissed.

She grabs me by my shirt and pulls me roughly inside. “Where have you been, Abby? I've been worried sick!” S
he slams the doors and spins toward me, curls bouncing.

I barely get the beginning of my apology out before she's reprimanding me again.

“
I've left like, twelve voicemails on your phone. And so many texts! You weren't at school all day. No one knew where
you were.”

My hands fly up in surrender. “Danielle, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't feel good this morning and my phone's dead.”

One eyebrow draws up in skepticism. Danielle is not one to be lied to. It's like she has a built-in detector.

Scrambling, I say, “I
wanted to hang out with a boy?” trying to appeal to her long-held desire for me to get a boyfriend. But it's not working. I can lie to anyone but supernatural beings and my best friend. And honestly? I don't want to lie to her. She's gonna think I'm crazy
but I so, so want to tell her everything.

All of this goes through my mind in about three seconds. Danielle doesn't have time to say one word before I grab her hand and race up the stairs to her room. Once the door is shut and we've taken our traditional
places in the room – her on the bed, me on the rug – I start talking.

I spill everything. Every single thing that's happened since I came home from school a few days earlier to find Jonathan in my house.

Angels and demons are real.

I'm an angel.

Archangel
s went rogue.

There's a war.

Mr. Lehman's a demon.

He saved me from another demon.

Everyone wants me on their side.

Oh yeah, and Lucas is my angel boyfriend.

To her credit, Danielle's expression never changes. She watches me passively, waiting for me to f
inish. When I finally do, she doesn't hesitate.

“
All of that's been going on and it took you this long to tell me?”

I am lightheaded with relief. My best friend doesn't think I'm crazy – again. I breathe out loudly. “You believe me?”

She glares and throws
her hands in the air. “Duh, Abby. I said that the first time you told me anything. We've been best friends for how long? I think I'd know at this point whether or not you were
insane. Besides, it just
feels
true.” She slides off of her bed and sits next to
me. I am about to burst from happiness at having someone else – someone human – know about all of this.

“
Anyway, I've always known that Lehman wasn't normal. He's so unbelievably
boring
. Like, unnaturally. And he's creepy. Therefore you can't be lying.”

I break into laughter and Danielle grins. Thank God I have her.

We talk about everything for hours. Including a dissection of everything that's happened with Jonathan and Lucas. Especially Lucas.

“
He's super hot,” Danielle tells me.

I giggle and blush.
“Yeah, but it's still weird.”

She shrugs and brushes out her curls with her fingers, shifting on the rug to get more comfortable. “It is what it is, right? Not much you can do but go with it. At least make it fun.” She frowns at a split end. “Besides, aren
't you guys like, soul mates or something? Sooo jealous of that.”

“
I don't think it really works like that for angels -”

“
Oh, hush,” she cuts me off. “We're making this fun, remember?”

Right, except Danielle's not the one who has to face Lucas with embarra
ssment the next time she sees him. Speaking of... “I wonder where he is. I don't know whether I should be worried.” I look over at Danielle helplessly.

Her hands stop fussing with her hair as she considers my words. “Have you tried...you know, that calling
thing? Do you think he'd hear you?”

Why didn't I think of that? Maybe because a small part of me is hoping this all disappears with him. But I tell my irrational self to kindly exit the brain of Abby. This is real; the danger is real. I need to find Lucas
and make sure he's safe. There's a little twinge in my heart as fear makes a reappearance.

My eyes widen as I look at Danielle. I've been here too long, talking about boys, of all things.

“
That demon might be coming back. I should go. I mean, what if he.
..and you...I've got to go.” I am up and at the door before she can form a response. “Thanks for talking to me, D. And believing me. I'll call you later.”

Danielle's voice finally reaches me as I get to the bottom of the stairs. “Make sure you try getting
a hold of him!” And as the door shuts, “Be safe, Abigail Leigh Davidson!”

Where to go? I guess it doesn't really matter.

Zooming through the residential streets, I call out his name a few times. Nothing. Maybe he can't hear me over my screeching bumper.

“
Lucas
,” I try once more.

A red lighted intersection greets me and I slam to a stop. I should pull over. I'm not paying enough attention to the road.

Down a few blocks is my old elementary school and I park near its playground. It's dark now, and the str
eet lamps eerily illuminate the play equipment. Jonathan had once tried to climb one of those lamps during recess in fifth grade, I remember. I smile slightly.

I wonder if Jonathan would come if I call him? But “Thamah” had mentioned him dropping off the m
ap. My shoulders slump. I can't do anything. The only person who could help me now is Aram. And Aram requires a price... Fright pinches at my lungs. I am completely vulnerable right now. That demon is somewhere – and he said he wasn't finished.

My palm sl
ams against the radio knob and my station comes right on, clearly playing through the speakers. The pinch lessens slightly.

Murmurs of banal news blend into the creak of the playground's swings. The fear starts to blur
out, but before I know it I'm throwi
ng the car door open and pounding down the sidewalk toward the school. Too suffocating. Not real anymore, those far off affairs of the world.

I run down the concrete toward the empty building, and almost begin to sob as I race down the entry ramp. So clos
e to being taken advantage of. I want to go get an ax and chop Thamah's head off, but this isn't a human. It's a demon, a being with otherworldly powers that I can't beat. Not like this. Maybe not even as an angel. And Lucas is gone, in danger. Jonathan, t
oo...

Halfway down the ramp I feel a hand on my back. I flinch, knowing that whoever it is is taking me somewhere else. The scenery suddenly changes from old brick to that of a huge field of grass and flowers. I try to continue my flight but someone is hol
ding me.

“
Don't, please,” I beg, knowing it's the demon returned to get what he wants.

“
Abby, it's me,” Lucas' soothing voice tells me. I turn around and shove him away.

“
You left me,” I can't help but accuse. “You left me.”

“
I'm sorry, Abby. I was forci
bly summoned, I couldn't stay. I'm so sorry...” He doesn't finish.

I shudder inwardly. “He's coming back.”

He kneels down in front of me and takes my face between his hands, forcing me to look at him. “I know what memory you saw earlier. That day in the w
oods with Thamah all those years ago. I saved you then. I always will.”

I bite my lip and close my eyes, cutting off the electricity between us. Something inside me wants to say I don't need any help, but it's not true. I'm useless in this human body, my
powers trapped.