Forgotten Self (Forgotten Self #1) (22 page)

I stepped over and grabbed her up by her arm. “Why di
d you take her?”

The demon forced a tightly-lipped smile and shook her head.

Frustrated, I glanced over at Naomi. “Do you ever feel like you're missing something? Like you're not privy to the bigger things at play here?”

She raised her eyebrows and nodded
in a knowing way.

I gave a halfhearted shrug. “No matter.” I threw the demon back to the ground, but this time I pressed my knee into her chest and leaned in toward her. “I know why I feel such antipathy toward you, I do. But I don't understand why I feel
compelled to get rid of you. I'm not made for this.” I didn't know why I was confessing this to her, but a pressure inside of my chest was building, and it came out in a rush.

That emotional pressure distracted me, and for a moment I let my power over the
demon drop.

And she made her move.

I was the first to be thrown back into the dirt; Naomi soon followed. As I landed, the breath was knocked out of my chest. My ears rang. The demon lithely stood and moved to tower over us. Her cold eyes swept between N
aomi and I – perhaps sizing us up. I couldn't move. I was now the victim.

Two thoughts barreled into my horrified mind. First, that I was an idiot for trying this. And second, the Balancer. Hadn't he told me to call him if a situation such as this arose?

Still recovering from the blow, I coughed and pulled in a breath of air. “Lucas.”

A pause.

And there he was, appearing behind the demon. He spoke in a chilling tone.

“
Leave this place.”

She reluctantly turned, and her body tensed upon seeing a Balancer s
tanding right in front of her. And then she was gone, just like that. The power holding me was released and I jumped to my feet and bent down to help Naomi. She took my hand and let herself be pulled upright. One look at Lucas and her curious eyes narrowed
in on mine.

“
A Balancer?”

I only shrugged.

She twisted her lips and looked back at him. “Balancer,” she spoke reverently, nodding once. He returned the gesture in silence. Then her attention returned to me. “Thank you for your assistance. I think we'll b
e more cautious in the future, do you agree?”

I appreciated her vagueness. “Yes, I do.” Lucas would only think we were speaking about running into a demon – not almost killing one.

“
Farewell, Abigail.”

Once she had gone, I meekly met Lucas' gaze. Had I r
eally just called upon this powerful angel to help me out of a situation I'd gotten myself into? Was I even allowed to? I realized I should've been asking around about these Balancers earlier – my lack of knowledge put me in an awkward position.

“
Thank yo
u. Again.” What was this heat spreading on my face? A blush?

Lucas seemed to smile the tiniest bit, but it was gone before I could be sure. “Are you okay?” was all he responded with.

I dipped my head in affirmation.”Thank you,” I repeated.

A new feeling w
as slowly filling me, one of intense liking toward this other angel. God, this guy was practically my boss...I couldn't...Yes, this definitely was a blush on my face.

“
Abigail?”

I jerked my head up. He had an intense expression – a hesitancy, a desire – I
wasn't really sure what it was. “Yes?”

“
If I asked, would you come with me?” The question was spoken tentatively. It surprised me. This angel was in a high enough position that he didn't have to ask. I also felt a sort of excitement, a tingling in my stoma
ch. New emotions for me.

Not bothering to answer his question, I boldly moved closer. “Where are we going?”

Now he really smiled. “Take my hand.”

Cold rain reappears on my face and I open my eyes, vision over.
I cough a few times, getting the images out
of my head.

When they're gone I unwittingly gawk at Lucas.

“
You're just as powerful as the Judges?” Disbelief colors my tone. From what little I know of them, I know they are pretty freaking important.

A pause from him, and then, “Yes.”

“
But...can't you
just, I don't know, fight the archangels yourself?”

He shook his head. “I am bound by protocol, which I can bend in certain ways, but not in this: I
cannot engage archangels or Judges in any sort of direct confrontation.”

“
Is that why you didn't just show
up and get rid of them in the first place?”

“
Yes.”

A new thought jumps into my mind and I press a hand to my mouth. “I was so...violent,” I whispered. “Out of control. Was I always like that?”

He looked thoughtful. “Only in your dealings with demons.”

I s
tep back, my shoes squishing into muddy grass, and meet his gaze. The question just tumbles from my lips. “What made you like me?”

“
You had this fire – this beautiful spirit...” Lucas quietly chuckles – a sound I can barely hear over the pitter patter of r
ain. “You know, I have never had to explain this, our relationship, or convince you of it. You have always come back before it came to that. It is so different...”

“
Yes, so I've heard.”
I slick back my drenched hair with my free hand. “That's all I get, th
ough?” I wrinkle my nose. “That doesn't give me much.”

A slow, indulgent smile makes its way onto Lucas' face. “We have time, Abigail.”

If it weren't so chilly I'm sure a blush would be marring my face. And what am I feeling now? It is hard to decipher; th
ere's a lot going on. Put awe, hope, apprehension, doubt, and maybe a little fear all together, and that's how I feel.

Is that what love is?

Lucas watches me with calm, gentle eyes. I can perceive the knowledge and power and love behind them.... And then I
'm interrupted.

“
Hey guys.”

Lucas and I spin our heads in the direction of the voice.

It's Jonathan.

Of course my revelatory moment with Lucas would be interrupted by Jonathan. It is just too ironic to be any other way.

My annoyance only lasts a brief m
oment. “Where have you been?” I ask him, concerned.

Jonathan doesn't respond to me at first, noting Lucas' new appearance. He wipes some of the rain out of his face. “You've returned to your host body.”

“
Yes,” Lucas says softly. “It is time. I suggest you
do the same.”

Before I can ask anything, Jonathan finally addresses my question. “I've been looking for a few people.” He looks meaningfully at Lucas. “You won't believe who I've found.”

“
Who?”

“
Giloh.”

Lucas' face fills with astonishment. “That is unbelie
vable.”

Jonathan nods in agreement. “I couldn't believe it either. He's been gone for so long.”

“
Giloh. That sounds familiar,” I comment, trying to think...

“
You did know him,” Jonathan tells me.

I shake my head and then snap my fingers as I remember. “Shi
loh! That's why.” The boys said nothing. “Oh, come on. The dog? Sad movie about the dog?” I prompt.

Lucas just looks back at Jonathan. “Is he meeting with us?” Apparently Shiloh isn't a regular with angels.

“
Yes. He should be here any moment now.”

I notice
Lucas' expression grow dark. “I am glad you found someone, Jonathan. I had no such luck.”

Jonathan's face is bleak as well. “It's not enough.” I barely hear his whispered lament, but I have no trouble feeling their discouragement. That deal with Aram is l
ooking pretty good. I feel Lucas' eyes land on me at that thought, but I don't look up.

“
Jonathan, there is something else,” Lucas says roughly.

“
What is it?”

“
I was pulled away earlier, a forced
summoning
.”

“
You mean...” Jonathan takes a deep breath. “Je
sus, Lucas. It could happen again, right -”

“
Greetings,” says a deep, musical voice.

I raise my head. There are two new angels standing several feet away. One is a short, gorgeous woman with curly black hair. She reminds me of Danielle. The other angel, th
e one who spoke, is a pale, gaunt man with thick blonde hair.

Angels look perfect no matter what, I can see. They both wear ripped, dirty clothing and look like a Dolce and Gabbana ad at the same time. Freaking ridiculous.

They bow their heads slightly at
us. Lucas and Jonathan return the gesture, all of the tension from their earlier conversation gone.

Lucas walks right up to the male angel and clasps his hand. “Giloh, you cannot know how pleased I am at seeing you again. It has been so long. I assumed yo
u would not be returning.”

Giloh smiles graciously. Every movement of his seems to be patient and measured. “I am delighted to be back. This,” he gestures politely to the woman behind him, “is Tabitha. She is a gate keeper. She came into my company not lon
g ago, after we met at the Gates.”

“
Hello,” Tabitha greets us in a neutral tone.

“
Tabitha wishes to aid our cause,” he briefly explains. Water drips from his hair and down his face. “Let us talk.”

“
Yes,” Lucas agrees tiredly, stepping back to address all o
f us. “The first thing I want to mention is the fact that none of us have seen Raguel or Remiel. I know you both have been searching for quite some time.” He motions to the newcomers.

“
For a month now,” Giloh says softly.

Lucas tips his head in gratitude.
“You have both served well. I thank you. However, because we are unable to find the archangels, I am forced to place another burden upon you.”

The woman speaks up. “Why are there only four of us here?”

I guess I don't count.

“
Fear,” Jonathan answers insta
ntly. “I believe most of us will not choose a side at all.”

In agitation, she shakes her head. “Unbelievable.”

Something takes over my mouth when I hear that.

“
Well, where were
you
the last two thousand years?” As soon as I say it, I'm so shocked I almost
cover my mouth.

Her dark ringlets bounce as she steps right up to me. “How dare you -” she starts, but the blonde man cuts her off.

“
Tabitha, that is enough. You know who she is.”

I send a dangerous look Lucas' way. We're definitely going to talk about t
hat later.

Tabitha reluctantly steps back.

In the distance, there's a snap of a tree branch and the crush of its landing on some sort of shrubbery. Lucas waits a moment, then continues. “Giloh, Tabitha, until others join us, I need you to resume your searc
h. I know that it may come to nothing, but we cannot let any small chance of finding them slip from us. They are weak when mortal-bound, you know this. If we find their location...” He doesn't need to finish.

Tabitha gives only a sharp nod. Giloh places a
hand on Lucas' shoulder. “As you wish.” Then he walks over to me. He smiles fondly. “Hello, Abigail. I know you don't remember me, but we have known each other for a long time. I am glad to see you so well. Thank you for your sacrifices for us. I wish tha
t I could have done more, but I was away.”

His formal way of speaking throws me off. “Th-that's okay.” The words come out awkwardly.

Giloh places his hands on my face and gives me a kiss on the forehead. I turn my eyes toward
Jonathan and stare in questio
n, but this confusing scene halts when a tiny woman materializes behind Tabitha. Everyone turns and Giloh drops his hands.

“
Naomi,” my mouth calmly announces without prompting. Naomi? Who's Naomi?

All eyes are on me now and I shrug.

“
She slowly remembers,
” Jonathan explains in a low voice.

This new angel's long, brunette mane has been burned; black, dry patches of it are indiscriminately placed. As she moves closer I see that her clothing has similar burns.

Oh,
Naomi
. The angel I'd helped. Or tried to help
.