Forgotten Self (Forgotten Self #1) (24 page)

“
I figured you two had a solution since you keep sending me do
wn here. I'm powerless even now, aren't I?”

He stands so, so still. “Yes.”

“
So...” I'm confused, obviously.

“
Lucas and Jonathan are still obstacles. Potentially, they could even bring you back.” Remiel allows a tiny smirk. “Though I doubt it.” He stops me
before I ask – “Why have we not done something about them yet? Right now...it is impossible. Before now, it was inadvisable.” He allows an actual smile. “Otherwise we would have been discovered sooner.”

“
What, repeatedly punishing the same angel doesn't ra
ise suspicion?” Keep talking, keep talking. Maybe Lucas will show up.

“
Not when we have a good
explanation
.”

I pause, not ready with another question.

“
Anything else, Abigail?” The expressionless face is back.

“
What are you going to do now?”

“
Nothing, to
you. Jonathan has been taken. Lucas will be next, as soon as I join my brother.”

My terror has regained its footing. “Taken where?” I ask forcefully.

“
A place where they will find you to be...inaccessible.”

Pause.

“
Aram
!” His name just explodes out of my m
outh.

Remiel only tilts his head at my outburst – then Aram actually appears. His crisply starched dress shirt and pleated pants make him look horribly out of place in this desert.

“
Remiel,” he carelessly greets the archangel, giving me no notice.

Remiel
looks pissed. “The demon Aram. I'd forgotten about you,” he says dismissively.

Aram merely laughs. “I'm sure you did. A lot of beings wish they could.”

Smug bastard, I think.

Apparently the archangel thinks the same thing because he loses his composure.
“You disgusting little -”

But he's cut off by Aram. “Now now, Rem. There's no need to get flustered. I'm just here for little Abs.” Something cold infuses his words. “And you will do nothing about it. Otherwise we'll find out how weak you really are on th
is plane. I'm surprised you showed up here unprotected, without your idiotic brother at your side, or any of your...
followers
.” He shakes his head. “That was foolish of you.”

Remiel says nothing but I can tell he's lost some of his bluster.

Aram checks a
pocket watch he's pulled out of nowhere. “I guess we'll be off then.”

The seething archangel disappears right before we do.

15

Aram and I end up back in the school's auditorium.

“
Why here?”

He shrugs. “I like it here.”

I start my barrage of questions.

“
Where are Lucas and Jonathan?”

“
I have no idea.”

“
Where's Rusty?”

“
Who?”

“
If you could fight the archangels why haven't you done it already?”

“
These things are more complicated than you understand.”

“
Uncomplicate it.”

“
If I kill him I will die as well.”

“
W
hat?”

“
Why do you think high-level demons and angels don't fight each other? There's an equal quota – if you upset it you pay the price. It's why there hasn't been all-out war already.”

I rub my forehead, taking a break from the back-and-forth. “These rule
s...”

“
Yep,” he replies blithely. “They're a bitch.”

The chair nearest me beckons and I slide into it tiredly. “Why did you help me?”

“
You're useful to me,” he says simply.

“
I think you're leaving something out.”

“
So what if I am?”

A question has been gr
owing in my mind, ever since...well, since everything had started. Why I am so important. There's no way that the archangels would keep sending me down here just to keep Jonathan and Lucas at bay.

Aram's and Lucifer's offers.

Thamah's perverted obsession w
ith me.

There has to be something else.
I
have to be something else.

I step right up to Aram, who's unbuttoning his collar, looking uncomfortable.

“
What is everyone not telling me? Why do I get all this special treatment? Who am I really?”

Aram fluffs out
his collar and doesn't look at me.

I grasp his arm tightly. “
Tell me
.”

For the first time I see darkness in his features, the power inside of him. A demon, he is.

He roughly shakes my hand off and narrows his eyes. “Show a little respect, Abigail. I just
saved your ass. I think you forget who I am, so
back off
.”

A little shiver makes its way through me.

I'll just try a different route. “Please, Aram. I need to know. You want to work with me? We need to be on the same page.”

He purses his lips and considers
this with a shrewd expression.

Nothing.

I roll my eyes and sigh. Not going to work.

“
Look, Aram. I've decided not to accept your help.”

Aram gracefully sits down across the aisle. “I figured.” No sarcasm, no arrogance – I can hear exhaustion in his voi
ce. “But, Abby, I have something else you want. Something I think would be worth the deal.”

The way he announces this news captures my breath. 

Shrugging off his tired look, he smiles enticingly.

“
What?” I ask, even though I don't mean to.

He traces a fi
nger down the side of his face, scrutinizing me. “I've been your teacher for a long time. When your cousin died, I got
interested
.”

I choke. That son of a bitch.

He waves his finger. “Now, Abs, hold on a moment. Just hear me out.”

I clench my teeth. I feel
like smacking him in the face. But a part of me holds out, wanting to hear what he has to say.

“
When she died, you changed. You didn't talk in class, you didn't talk to me. I couldn't chance losing my connection with you, so I started following you.”

Cue
paralyzed lungs again. He knows about the path...me waiting.

He raises an eyebrow, noticing my reaction to his words. “Yes, the jogging path. I stood with you. Out of sight, obviously. You spent a lot of time there, Abigail.” He leans forward in his seat,
placing his elbows on his knees. “I know what you wanted then, what I assume part of you still wants.”

The killer.
Her
killer, within my reach. My fists loosen.

“
I can offer him to you. On a silver platter, if you wish. All you have to do is accept. Think,
Abby. Power enough to fight the archangels, Kelly's murderer brought to justice...I'll even let you live your human life for a time.” He sits back, satisfied. “That is more than a fair deal.”

Words are stuck in my throat. My initial reaction to tell him t
o shove it has faded. I shake my head, open-mouthed. “Why would you do this to me, Aram...you bastard.” My breaths are shallow, my hands are shaking violently. I have wanted that for so long. Kelly's killer, dead. By my hands preferably.

Several thoughts f
orce themselves into my head. My renewed grief, my angelic self's bitter proclivity toward violence... This is all working together – it is the perfect recipe for playing right into a demon's hands.

“
I don't know.”

It's all I can say, because I truly don'
t.

He nods in an accepting manner. “Yes, well, think about it.”

“
I thought you said you didn't have time to wait?”

There's that foreign light in his eyes, a trait demons seem to share. It brightens considerably. “Things have changed.”

“
Yeah. More like you
thought your time-contingent deal would work. Another day, another attempt. How sweet.”

Aram just watches me quietly.

I push all of it away to think about later. There are other things happening right now.

“
Why don't you just tell me what I am?”

He straig
htens up. “I can't.”

“
Why? Did you like, sign a blood oath or something?”

“
Something like that.” He taps his chin. “But...maybe I'll consider it.”

“
And until then?”

“
Does it matter?”

“
That depends – will you help me find Lucas and Jonathan?” I'm treading a
thin line here. I've got to stay cool – I want to let myself feel upset, but not yet. Not until I figure out what I'm going to do.

Aram picks at the collar of his shirt. “I think not.”

My hands tighten. I have no control here. Lucas – where is he?

Frustr
ation relocates itself from my mind down through my body. I take a slow breath. “Fine. But I think you'll reconsider.” I'm ready to do about anything here and an idea has popped into my head.

He casually leans his chin on one hand. “Enlighten me.”

I give
him a coy smile. “You said you need me, right?”

His eye twitches, but he maintains composure. “I suppose I did.”

All the tension slips from my features and sneaks its way into my stomach. Play the game, Abby.

“
Interesting. Well, I have a deal for
you
then.
” He waves a hand at me to continue. I pat my pocket and the sound of rattling quietly floats between us. “Silly Lucas should've thrown these away,” I say vaguely.

There is a subtle tightening of Aram's mouth but he says nothing.

There is more rattling as
I begin to pull the item out of my pocket. “I've heard this rumor that if I die as a human, my soul is lost.” I wink at him. “Or something like that, right?” I can't believe I'm doing this again. But I have to.

Again, silence. Finally the bottle of Percoc
et that Lucas had so thoughtlessly left on the side table in the living room appears. He must have been distracted after I'd told him – not so nicely – to leave me alone.

His mistake will now be my leverage over Aram.

I turn the bottle around so that the
label is visible to the demon. The panic inside threatens to paralyze me. You can do this, I repeat to myself.

In a flash, I've twisted the cap off and poured all the bottle's contents into my mouth. I swallow hard a few times, choking the pills down pain
fully. I'm shocked at what I've just done but I manage to give Aram a little smirk.

“
Ready to find them now?” I look down at my watch. “I'd say you've got about thirty minutes -”

“
You stupid little girl,” Aram spits at me. “Do you even realize what you've
done? Do you?” Curiously, he actually seems to be more upset than angry. But there's no telling with Aram.

The shock is creeping up on me. I need Aram to leave before I have a total breakdown. I've just swallowed a whole bottle of Percocet and... “Despera
te times,” I bluntly say.

With a curse, he disappears.

I stand up and start to pace nervously. I don't know why I'd even taken the pills with me in the first place. I'd just felt a prompting when I passed by the bottle on my way to speak with the boys. My
heart is thudding. If I die...I'm not afraid of that, I'm afraid of what will come after. This whole lost soul thing doesn't sound like very much fun. I pace endlessly.

Back and forth,

back and forth,

back and forth.

Eventually I look down at my watch. It'
s been seven minutes. Something is starting to happen, something floaty – but I don't know if it's real or imagined. Maybe it's just my anxiety. I hope so. Hurry Aram, I think. Hurry up.

Weariness makes an appearance after another ten minutes. After five m
ore minutes, a sort of numbness. I'm not as terrified as I was.

6PM, my watch informs me. It's been less than fifteen minutes and my legs will no longer hold me up, so I sit down on the floor. Nausea edges in.