Full Circle (47 page)

“You busy for lunch today, Tan?”

“No … not that I know of…” But she didn't want to have lunch with him. She had to think. “There's some stuff I really should get off my desk.” She avoided his eyes.

“You have to eat. I'll bring sandwiches.”

“Fine.” She felt like a traitor not telling him, and her heart felt like lead as she went
to
work. She had dozens of small matters in and out of her court, and at eleven o'clock she looked up to see a wild-eyed man, with a mane of frizzy gray hair springing out of his head like watchsprings gone wild. He had planted a bomb in front of a foreign consulate, and the matter had to be set for trial. She began to go through all of the motions, and then suddenly stared at his name and looked up with a grin. And for no reason anyone understood in court, she had to disqualify herself. The man's name was Yael Mc-Bee, the wild-eyed radical lover she'd had in her last year of law school at Boalt. The boy who had gone to jail for bombing the mayor's house. She saw from his records that he had been in prison twice since then. How odd life was. So long ago … it brought Harry instantly to mind … and the funny little house they'd shared … and Averil so young then.… and the wild hippie commune she had visited with Yael. She looked across the court at him. He had grown old. He was forty-six years old now. A man. And still fighting for his causes in his unruly ways. How far they'd come, all of them … this man with his wild ideas. His documents said that he was a terrorist. A terrorist. And she was a judge. An endless road … and Harry gone, and all their bright ideas a little dim, some of them forgotten, so many gone … Sharon … Harry … and new lives in their places … her son, little Harry, named after her friend, and now this new baby in her womb … it was amazing how life went on, how far they came, all of them … She looked up and saw her husband, standing there, looking at her, and she smiled at him, and dismissed the matter of Yael McBee from her court, called a recess for lunch, and walked into her chambers with him.

“Who was that?” Russ looked amused. Her days were certainly livelier than his, and she began to laugh as she sat down.

“His name is Yael McBee, if that means anything to you. I knew him when I went to Boalt.”

“A friend of yours?” Russ looked at her sardonically and she grinned.

“Believe it or not, he was.”

“You've come a long way since then, my love.”

“I was just thinking that.” And then she remembered something else. She looked at him, hesitantly, wondering how he would react. “I've got something to tell you.”

He smiled gently at her. “You're pregnant again.”

She stared at him as he laughed. “How do you know? Did the doctor call you too?”

“No. I'm smarter than that. I figured it out last night, and I assumed you'd tell me eventually. Of course by now, you think your career is over, we'll have to give up the house, I'll lose my job, or we both will…” She laughed and tears came to her eyes as he smiled at her. “Am I right?”

“Perfectly.”

“And has it dawned on you that if you can be a judge with one child, you can be a judge with two? And a good judge at that.”

“That just occurred to me as you walked in.”

“My, my.” He leaned over to kiss her, and they exchanged a look that belonged only to them. “What do you know … ?” He kissed her and her clerk walked in and hastily backed out again, smiling to herself as Tana silently thanked her lucky stars for the road she'd come, the man she'd found … the decisions she had made … from a career and no man, no child, to having it all, the man, the career, and her son. She had added each one, like wildfiowers to a bouquet, until now she stood with full hands, full heart, having come full circle in the end.

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Copyright © 1984 by Benitreto Productions, Ltd.

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eISBN: 978-0-307-56646-1

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