How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure (21 page)

this herself in a squat position, and remember that some form of arousal is necessary to feel it. But as Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld, the
COITAL ALIGNMENT TECHNIQUE

author of
New Male Sexuality
, told me, “There is no need to be held Also known as CAT, this technique requires the alignment of two hostage by having to find it.”

parts of the genitals: her clitoris and the pubic bone region at the base Try using your finger in a “come here” motion, with a specifically of your penis. The man’s pubic area is cushioned by fat tissue, so it shaped dildo/vibrator, or during penetration. The best positions for isn’t just hard bone. If a man is deep enough inside, and maintains G-spot stimulation during intercourse are:

constant contact between her clitoris and his pubic bone, a woman can achieve an orgasm when he uses a gentle rocking motion. In this 1. Rear entry

way, he is maintaining contact with her clitoris, with added 2. Woman superior—either facing toward the man or, often stimulation of penetration. The typical thrusting in and out of male better, facing his feet

superior doesn’t maintain enough constant contact with the clitoral 3. Male superior—with the woman putting her legs over her area to have that be a way for most women to orgasm.

partner’s arms or shoulders. In this position a man with a prow-shaped penis actually has a better chance of

stimulating the G-spot because of his curvature. Some men

“C” (CERVICAL) ORGASM

For some women a deep and constant pressure on the cervix can lead
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to orgasm. It would be the pelvic hypogastric nerve pathway that is

“What we do know is that each woman seems to have her own stimulated with this pressure. Some women who enjoy fisting say orgasmic pattern. This pattern is so individual that Hartman, they enjoy having the cervix held.

Fithian, and Campbell, respected sex therapists and researchers, call this individuality ‘orgasmic fingerprinting.’ Each woman’s

“U” (URETHRAL) ORGASM

orgasmic pattern is as unique as her fingerprints.” (Dr. Lonnie Given what we now know about the size and dimension of the Barbach)

clitoris, it makes sense that for some women stimulation of the urethra would be highly pleasurable. After all, it is surrounded on
ALL-OVER BODY STIMULATION

three sides by the clitoral body. Located between the clitoral glans Some women report that all-over body stimulation can lead to an and the vaginal opening (introitus), the urethra is stimulated during orgasm. Now, they may feel the actual orgasm in the pelvis, but it is the thrusting action of intercourse, as well as during oral and manual your roving hands, fingers, and tongue that build the sensation.

stimulation, when one can use more refined and direct motions.

Some women when they orgasm or experience a deep orgasm will
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also feel a gush of fluid. This is not urine. This is an expression of The majority of women report orgasming most regularly with oral fluid from the paraurethral glands. There are approximately 150

sex or manual stimulation.

Skene’s glands ducts (also called paraurethral glands) that lead into the urethra—”para” meaning that these glands are on the sides of the Aside from the so-called usual ways females orgasm, women are urethra. In studies performed by Dr. Paco Cabello, a Spanish also known to come in quite imaginative ways, ranging from researcher, urine samples were collected from women before and touching of the nipples to fantasy, to rubbing their clitoris on their after stimulation without a male partner, and he found that there was partner’s leg, to being spanked. (Although I am aware of women PSA—prostate specific antigen—in the urine post-stimulation. This who also love bondage and S&M orgasms, I will leave such is another reason to refer to the G-spot area as the female prostate.

discussions to those with more expertise in that area.) Here are some Some women ejaculate regularly, some occasionally, and some not-so-typical orgasms.

never, although according to research by Dr. Cabello, because the amount of ejaculant is so small (2 to 3 ccs), it might just be
BREAST ORGASM

considered normal vaginal secretions and therefore not obvious.

This is not a Ripley’s Believe It or Not—I promise. Some women One man from my seminar recalled how when he began

have reported that the licking and manual stimulation of their breasts stimulating his partner’s nipples, she became “phenomenally wet.”

and nipples can get them so excited that they come. I think it’s a

“She just started flowing, soaking through not only the sheets but the testament to the sensitivity of our skin and our minds!

mattress pad as well,” he explained, “and then when I went down on her, there was this squishing sound—made more obvious because there wasn’t all that much to listen to down there.” This story goes to show you that some women respond to the slightest touch.

of the penis is along the pudendal pathway, and the male G-SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES

spot/prostate stimulation is along the pelvic pathway. Now, isn’t it Both men and women have love muscles, the PC muscles that, if nice to get that straightened out?

toned, can enhance orgasm. And like any muscle, these can be exercised, and one need not go to the gym. When a man tightens
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his PC muscle, his penis will jump up and down. A woman can Blended orgasms are when both sexual nerve pathways are

tighten her PC muscles by stopping the flow of urine. A good stimulated at the same time: for women the clitoris and the G-male exercise is placing a washcloth on your erect penis and spot, and for men the penis and the prostate.

doing penis lift-ups.

It’s on the Chromosome

Male Orgasm

I feel it’s necessary to say yet again that men and women are Don’t worry, I didn’t forget you. It’s simply that I understand that in different, and this difference is very clear in the arena of the orgasm.

this department you are probably very familiar with how to Both men and women have two separate nerve pathways for

accomplish your own orgasm. However, I would like to address orgasms, the pudendal and the pelvic. It is because there are these certain issues and techniques that may be of interest in terms of two pathways that men and women can experience climax

learning how better to maintain your erection and give her more differently.

pleasure.

Specifically, as Dr. Lonnie Barbach says in her book
For Each
In essence, a man’s orgasm has two parts to it. According to Dr.

Other
, “The pudendal nerve supplies the clitoris, PC muscle, inner Barbara Keesling in her book
How to Make Love All Night
, the first lips, skin of the perineum, and skin surrounding the anus. The pelvic phase is the emission phase, during which the cannon loads with the nerve goes to the vagina and the uterus. The fact that the pudendal seminal fluid that has been collected in the prostate. Next is the nerve has considerably more sensory fibers than the pelvic nerve and expulsion phase, during which the cannon fires the ejaculate out of contains the kind of nerve endings which are very sensitive to touch the body, creating rhythmic waves throughout the body. The entire may be responsible for the higher percentage of women being more ejaculation process, emission and expulsion, takes about two responsive to clitoral stimulation. The two-nerve theory may account seconds. As Keesling says, “It is very important for you to have a for more than differences between vaginally induced and clitorally full understanding of your own ejaculatory process, including the induced orgasms. Because these two nerves partially overlap in the timing, if you are going to be a master of your own body. For most spinal cord, it may also account for blended orgasms which are both men, the contraction of the PC during expulsion is an involuntary clitorally and vaginally induced.”

process. Once you take control of your PC muscle, however, you can In women, clitoral orgasms go along the pudendal nerve pathway; voluntarily delay or prevent ejaculation.” This is a progressive vaginal and G-spot orgasms go along the pelvic nerve pathway. With learning process that a man can do by himself or with a partner. The clitoral orgasms there is a pulling-up sensation, and with vaginal and main aim is for a man to exercise his PC muscles (using the G-spot there is a pushing-down sensation. For men, the stimulation washcloth-lift, for example). He will then experience more control during penetration and thrusting. The result is multiorgasmic men ring, which helps build up pressure, increases the sensation and increased sexual stamina and control.

during intercourse.

Men seem unnecessarily concerned with how many times a night ¾ The Squeeze Technique: While you’re erect, squeeze your they can have sex and orgasm. Listen to most women and they will penis right below the head. This will help slow you down, tell you once is enough if it’s done right. However, gentlemen, you enabling you to prolong sex. You can also have her do this may be interested in knowing that as men age, the number of times for you.

per night typically drops to once. There aren’t hard statistics, because ¾ Desensitizing spray: I don’t usually recommend these

there aren’t any scientific studies, but these numbers do correspond products, as they have a numbing active ingredient,

to my anecdotal information. The norm for most men is one time, benzocaine. However, men use these sprays to literally make and typically as a man ages, his refractory time (the time in between them last longer when they want to have multiple sessions.

erections) lengthens. However, there are men for whom there is very ¾ Viagra: This pharmaceutical phenomenon is meant for men little change between the refractory time and/or strength of their who clinically suffer from impotence or penile erectile

erections throughout their lives.

dysfunction and should only be used under a doctor’s

supervision. Though the wide reports stress how Viagra is a

“miracle” that lets men remain erect for hours, I have also
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heard reports of its misuse. After taking two Viagra, one And so you know, gentlemen, ladies for the most part know you young man in his early twenties had three orgasms and still masturbate. What they may not know is why you’re masturbating.

remained erect. Remaining erect for too long can lead to They might think you are not sexually satisfied; they think permanent damage of the penile tissue, which is known as something is wrong with the love or the sexual relationship and priapism.

may believe that something is missing. You need to let them know that nothing can replace them.

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Due to the high number of malpractice cases resulting from
ENHANCERS

botched male sex-enhancement surgeries, a new area of legal Though many women don’t even want you to stay erect for hours expertise has developed.

(after all, sustained penetration can lead her to soreness and irritation), there are ways you can improve your lasting power.

¾ Cock rings not only can enhance her pleasure, by making There are essentially two techniques that enhance the length or girth you feel more full inside of her, but can increase the

of your penis. Again, both techniques come with important caveats.

intensity of your feeling as well. Be sure to put the cock ring over both the shaft of your penis and the scrotum. Some men 1. Surgery that cuts the suspensory ligaments at the top of the like to take it off just as they are about to come; other men penis will make the penis look longer when soft. The end prefer leaving the cock ring on. Men claim that the cock result, however, is that when the penis is erect, it loses some of its stability and has been known to “wobble.”

Openmirrors.com

2. An injection of adipose (fatty) tissue taken from another area media have often rushed to the proverbial table with half-baked of the man’s body into the penis is used to enlarge one’s goods. So I have two purposes here: first, to debunk some of the girth. However, it has been known to “look weird.”

myths surrounding sex, specifically about the multiple and the Moreover, the adipose tissue is often reabsorbed irregularly simultaneous orgasm; and second, to encourage you to explore and by the body, causing the penis to become “lumpy” and

try new approaches—for if we don’t challenge ourselves, how will malformed.

we ever know what’s possible?

The main reason to debunk myths is built into the nature of myths. By its very definition, a myth contains a grain of truth on
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which an entire beach has been created. There have been so many Don’t equate how hard you are with how aroused you are. You articles written about the fabulous multiple or simultaneous orgasm.

can have a terrific erection but not be anywhere close to the point Do they occur? Yes for some and never for others.

of orgasm. Think of erection as a measure of the blood flow to your penis and arousal as the degree of sexual excitement.

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Female multiple orgasm is having more than one orgasm in a
OTHER MALE ORGASM FACTS

single lovemaking session. A male multiple orgasm is more than ¾ Some men have full orgasms when soft.

one orgasm with the same erection, with no refractory period—in ¾ Some men love a blended orgasm—the simultaneous

other words, he doesn’t go soft.

stimulation of penis and G-spot/prostate.

¾ Some men have dry orgasms, in which they have the full In the seminars, those men and women who say they have

sensation of coming, without releasing any ejaculate. This simultaneous orgasms are invariably in longterm relationships occurs for one of two reasons: either he controls (i.e., where they are very aware of one another’s bodies and sexual suppresses) ejaculation or, after a tremendous amount of responses. A nurse from Lexington, Kentucky, said, “I am Spanish activity, there’s “nothing left in the tanks.”