How to Make Her LET GO & GIVE IN: The No-Bullshit Guide to Great Sex (20 page)

The Pleasure System

The clitoris works together with its neighbouring organs and tissues to maximize her levels of arousal.

Vulva

The vulva consists of the external genitals of a female and shouldn’t be confused with the vagina, which is located internally. This part of her body is located right before the clitoral bulbs and right under the shaft. Not only do these two parts have lots of nerve endings, the vulva itself is also jam-packed with them and is therefore a very sensitive area.

Vagina

Most people think the vagina is very sensitive, but in reality its comparative lack of nerves means it is not nearly as sensitive as you might think. All the pleasure she feels during penetration is generated by the surrounding clitoral system. This paucity of nerves in the vagina makes sense because when she gives birth, an overly-sensitive vagina would create even more pain and discomfort than she already is subjected to.

Urethral Sponge

The urethral sponge is located around the urethra; the tube she uses to expel urine. The urethra is also used to release fluid during female ejaculation, which is known as squirting. When she becomes aroused, the urethral sponge also swells up due to an increase in blood flow.

Inside this sponge, there are very small glands that produce the squirting fluid. These glands are called paraurethral glands and the largest and most understood of them are the Skene’s glands.

When she’s not aroused, this sponge is not swollen and therefore not noticeable when placing your finger inside. But when aroused, you can feel a part of this sponge protruding into the vaginal wall. This little bump is what we know as the G-spot, also called the Gräfenberg spot (for German gynaecologist Ernst Gräfenberg ).

4.2.2
Her Hotspots

A woman’s hotspots are the areas that are responsible for physical arousal and, ultimately, orgasms. You will learn where to find them and how to stimulate them through cunnilingus, fingering and intercourse.

Overview

1. The C-spot and Vulva

2. The G-spot

3. The A & P spots

The C-spot and Vulva

The name vulva means wrapping in Latin, but I find that this name does not do justice to this part of her body because this area has the potential to give her loads and loads of pleasure.

The basics in stimulating the C-spot and vulva aren’t all that hard, as this area is very accessible and therefore easy to stimulate. Even if you hadn’t performed well in the previous steps, meaning you did not trigger her primal desires in a strong way, it’s still pretty likely for her to get off.

However, it is important that you bear in mind that she will just experience a mediocre physical orgasm in which your tongue or fingers are merely tools for her to experience pleasure. So, don’t fall into the trap of merely becoming her vibrator by using the knowledge you learned in the previous steps.

Although you can help her achieve an easy orgasm or enhance her levels of arousal very quickly and easily, there is a downside: of all the orgasm-producing spots, the C-spot will give her the least intense physical orgasm.

Because of this, you should use these techniques mostly as a way to create loads of arousal, particularly in the initial phase. But as things heat up, you should definitely move up to the other hotspots or use this one in conjunction with the triggering of her other erogenous zones.

Anatomy

Fingering

A common mistake men tend to make is that they see fingering as a way to progress faster towards having intercourse. The only thing they know is how to mimic the motion of a penetrating penis or how to slide their fingers randomly up and down her pussy. But there are many other ways to create massive amounts of sexual tension. Therefore, use your fingers wisely because it can enhance the experience greatly – for both of you.

Masturbating

If you lack experience in this area, you can take the initiative by asking her to masturbate for you. While she is doing this, communicate about what turns her on the most and make some mental notes. An excellent idea is to give her your hand and let her guide you to all her favourite spots and to physically show you how she likes these spots to be stimulated.

You will learn a lot in this way because she knows her body the best. An added bonus is that each of you may discover a new form of pleasure in watching the other masturbate and in talking about it.

Not all women will want to play with their pussies in front of you. Some just need to feel a deeper sense of trust before they are comfortable enough to masturbate in front of you, so treat her with respect and don’t insist she does something she isn’t comfortable with.

When she’s shy, it’s often because you are asking her to play an active role instead of a passive and more comfortable one. So, always make her feel comfortable and don’t give the impression that she has to put on a sexy show. Allowing her to remain within her comfort zone is itself a positive sexual skill.

Techniques

In this next part, you will find some of my favourite techniques. Look at them as inspiration to help you to get started and once mastered, you can play around and be creative with these techniques.

With many sexual techniques it is always a good idea to have some lubrication handy. Bear in mind, too, that various lubricants have special purposes and, in particular, some should not be used with condoms or sexual aids made from certain materials.

- thumbs up

Place your thumbs on the outer lips and go all the way up and down with a slow and steady movement. Though it is a good idea to start gently, don’t be afraid to put a fair amount of pressure on them because these lips are far less sensitive than her inner labia.

After massaging them for a while, place the lips between the pads of your thumb and index finger and massage them in little circular movements while going up and down. This kind of stimulation is effective in getting the blood flow to her genitals going.

Take your time when performing these movements. Doing this over a longer period of time gives her a very soothing and relaxing experience and primes her various nerve endings for more intense sexual stimulation.

- the stretcher

Place your thumb and index finger on her inner labia with both hands. Then, gently pull her lips outwards in a slow and gentle way for a couple of seconds. Repeat this cycle of stretching and relaxing for a couple of minutes. Always be careful not to pull too hard, as doing so could hurt her.

This method gives her sensations that are both relaxing and arousing at the same time. It will also increase the blood-flow to the genitals, which in turn causes more exciting stimulation.

Stretching stimulates her inner lips as well as her C-spot because the clitoral hood is located in the extension of her lips. So, this hood moves along and creates a soft friction on the C-spot when this technique is used.

- the slider

Open up her little lips gently to make her inner vulva visible. Do this by placing your thumb and index finger right in between her little lips and then slowly moving the fingers apart to create an open, stretched-out space. Be careful not to stretch too hard because that, too, can cause discomfort.

Next, slide two fingers of your other hand over the openly stretched space. Do not caress the area very softly, but go in with moderate pressure to stir up the underlying clitoral vestibules.

- the teaser

Although the vaginal entrance is a part of her vagina, you can stimulate this area without penetration. What you need to do is stretch open her inner lips which will allow you to see her vaginal entrance at the base of the vulva.

Place two fingers of your other hand right above the opening and press fairly hard into the tissue. Make small upward and downward movements, gradually making these movements bigger, so your fingers slide in more and more. Don’t go in too deep, too soon, because showing restraint at this point will actually increase her craving for penetration.

- the tickle

There is a tiny opening between her vaginal opening and C-spot. This little hole is called the urethral opening. Around it lies the very sensitive U-spot, which has the shape of an upside down U.

The first thing you will want to do is to locate this tiny opening. To do so, stretch open her lips and look very closely. Then place your fingertip against it and brush the surrounding areas very lightly as if you are trying to tickle her. The sensation she experiences will make her shiver with pleasure.

- tap that clitty

Place your thumb on her clitoral hood and slide is gently upwards to pop her clit out from its sheath. Then keep pressing your thumb gently downwards to keep her little knob in the open.

Next, place your index finger on her C-spot and make a gentle tapping motion. This technique gives her a teasing sensation and makes her crave for a stronger and more constant kind of stimulation.

Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus is a fancy word going down on her, or using your lips and tongue to stimulate her genitals. In this section you will learn what the best position is to give the best results, as well as three techniques that will drive her crazy. But to start with, let’s look at some general advice that will instantly add a lot of pleasure:

1. Make sure your facial hair is in check. A full, soft beard is ok, but if you have stubble that feels like sandpaper, shave yourself first. The friction of these hairs can irritate her vulva and its surrounding areas and that can mean a complete end to your sexual escapades.
   
2. Whatever you do, never start stimulating her C-spot in a rough way before she is aroused. Warm her up gently before going at it, otherwise it might create discomfort.
   
3. Not all women like the same intensity. Some women love strong and firm C-spot stimulation, while for others this may feel very unpleasant. If you don’t know your girl very well, start off slow and pay attention to her reactions. When you notice she is too sensitive, focus more on the surrounding areas such as the U-spot or use the technique of the “still tongue” as described later on.
   
4. After she has had a C-spot orgasm, this spot becomes too sensitive for all women, which makes this area unsuitable for multiple or sequential orgasms. So, after she has had her climax, always give her knob of pleasure some time to recover before going at it again.
   

The best position

The best and easiest position for performing cunnilingus is when she is lying on her back, on comfortable ground with her legs spread apart. Her knees need to be bent in a way that allows her feet to give support to maintain this position. For extra comfort, you can place one pillow under her head and shoulders and another one under her hips to tilt her pelvis upwards, helping you to more easily reach her pussy.

You also need to be in a comfortable position to give her this pleasure. Make sure you have enough room between her legs. If not, open her legs a little bit more or place them over your shoulders. Not only should your mouth have easy access to her vulva, your hands should be able to move about freely in order to offer her extra stimulation.