How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (29 page)

Once you’ve experienced this partial or full orgasm you need to slow down for a while. Relax for a few seconds—you’ve earned it. You can continue thrusting, but it shouldn’t be vigorous.

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Instead, begin some real slow, easy thrusting accompanied by some slow breathing.

Right now you’re probably marveling at the fact that you’ve just had an orgasm and you’re still thrusting. Your partner is probably marveling at it too. Pat yourself on the back. Pat each other on the back. Pat each other anywhere you want. But remember, we’re not done yet. One down, one to go.

Once you are in control of your breathing again, it’s time to start back toward the top. Slowly increase the speed of your thrusting. Keep your focus. Let your arousal level rise once more. If you want to do more peaks or plateaus, go ahead. But at this point you may prefer to just let yourself go straight to the top. (Please note that at this point you simply are learning to have two orgasms in a single session of intercourse. In chapter 11 we will talk more about length-ening the amount of time between orgasms, having more than two orgasms, etc.)

When you feel your orgasm coming on once again, don’t try to manipulate it. Don’t try to stop your ejaculation this time. You’ve done enough work for one day. Focus fully on the sensations of your arousal, and let yourself have a second climax—ejaculation and all.

Now you really need to congratulate yourself and each other.
You have just had your first multiple orgasm
.

I suspect that one of the reasons why the one-shot method doesn’t work for every man is because, as you may have already discovered, it is hard to do. There are so many things to coordinate, particularly at the point where you have to squeeze your

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PC, take a deep breath, open your eyes, and keep thrusting—all at the same time. That’s harder than learning to play the piano.

The good news is that your partner can be extremely helpful here. If she is keeping pace with you, her actions can reinforce your actions. It helps a lot if she takes a deep breath when you take a deep breath. It helps if she keeps moving as a reminder for you to keep moving. And if she opens her eyes and sees that you haven’t opened yours, she can tell you.

One and a Half Orgasms Are Better Than One Some men have two full orgasms the first time they try the one-shot technique. Some men cannot work with this method at all. But most men fall some-where in between. For these men, the first few attempts at mastering the one-shot technique yield some unusual results.

Whether you are practicing the one-shot technique or the second, more conservative method, which will be presented shortly, you are likely to experience any number of new and/or unusual sensations before you have your first true multiple orgasm. For example:

• You may feel like you missed an orgasm.

• You may have a partial orgasm that isn’t terribly impressive.

• You may have a partial ejaculation without an orgasm after you have your first orgasm.

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All of these responses are completely normal. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. In fact, these seemingly strange physiological experiences are all clear signs that you are on your way to having your first full multiple orgasm.

Did you hear that? These are
good
signs, not bad signs.
Most
men who are learning to become multiorgasmic have at least one of these unusual responses before their techniques really

“click.” It’s all part of the process. If you aren’t expecting it, it can be kind of scary. But if you are expecting it, it’s positive reinforcement.

So put away your worry beads, cancel your appointment with the urologist, and get back to work. Your first
full
multiple orgasm awaits…and it won’t be long now.

Last-Minute Jitters Before the Big Debut?

Having your first multiple orgasm is a very big deal. Some men want to share every moment of it with their partners whereas other men get a little nervous and prefer to gain some mastery over these techniques before they host their first coming-out party. Like most of the exercises in this book, the one-shot method can be learned with or without a partner. It’s really up to you and your partner to decide whether or not your first multiple orgasm will be a private event or a semiprivate event (though I discourage you from trying to sell the rights to pay-per-view).

If you are feeling a bit nervous about having your first multiple orgasm, Exercise 14 will teach

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you how to master the one-shot technique without a partner.

Once you’ve had a few multiple orgasms on your own and you’re feeling more confident, you can then return with your partner to Exercise 13.

Even if you have your first multiple orgasm with your partner, you may want to practice the one-shot technique on your own at some point. If this is the case, Exercise 14 is the exercise for you. Many men like to practice without a partner and some wouldn’t have it any other way. This doesn’t mean they don’t love their partners. It just means they’re driven to excel. One client recently told me, “Practicing on my own was an essential part of learning the fine points of my personal response. I have incredible control now. I think it would have been much harder to develop that if I was always doing this with my partner.” As always, your approach to learning these techniques is a choice for you and your partner to make.

There is no right or wrong way.

Exercise 14: One-Man Mission to Mars (solo) This exercise begins like a peaking exercise. Using plenty of lubrication, begin stroking your penis. Feel your arousal level start to rise. The first thing you want to do is peak at Level 4 using your PC muscle (the way you did in Exercises 4 and 5). After you have dropped a couple of levels, intensify your stimulation and do a peak at Level 6. Once again, use your PC muscle to control your peak. Next, peak at Level 8. Then at Level 9. Take your

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time. These first four peaks should take at least fifteen or twenty minutes to complete. (If you want to take even more time, try to plateau at each of these levels.) What you are going to do now is really push this peaking exercise. Intensify your stimulation once again and peak to Level 9.5. Use your PC muscle to stop your arousal from increasing. You need to be really in control of your body to do this. You’re getting very close to the top now and the temptation to let yourself go and have an orgasm is enorm-ous. Hang in there if you can. It won’t be long now.

Your final peak is going to be at the point of inevitability—your psychological point of no return where ejaculation feels imminent. Talk about dancing on the volcano. This is the toughest peak you’ll ever climb.

You have to be totally tuned in to your body right now.

You’re going to be stroking your penis intensely, heading right toward ejaculation. But the
moment
you reach your point of inevitability—not one second later, but at that very moment—you want to slam on the PC muscle.
Keep stroking
your penis just as fast as you’ve been stroking up to this point.
Take a really deep breath
. Now
open your eyes
and keep them open. Hold your PC muscle as tight as you can for about
ten seconds
.

Whew…I get exhausted just describing it. If you can do all of these things at your point of inevitability, what will happen here is that your body will go into orgasm. But if you’ve squeezed hard enough and long enough with your PC,
you will not ejaculate
.

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TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: It may sound silly, but you must open your eyes the moment you start your PC squeeze to make this technique work. Besides, this is an event you don’t want to miss.

Take a deep breath again. Slow down the stimulation and let your arousal dip down to Level 8 or Level 7. You’re going to be very tired at this point, and probably pretty sweaty.

But you’re not far from having your first multiple orgasm.

Once you’ve “rested” for a moment, intensify your stimulation once again. Let your arousal level rise. But this time, you don’t want to get in the way. You don’t want to squeeze your PC muscle and you don’t want to slow your motion.

All you want to do is let yourself have a full orgasm, complete with ejaculation. And that, my friend, is a multiple orgasm.

I have said it before but I need to say it again. The first few times you try an exercise like this you may experience any number of unusual sensations, such as a partial orgasm or a “skipped” orgasm. These things may not feel very normal but they all
are
very normal, and there is no reason to be concerned. Your body is learning something new, and these are all encouraging signs of your development. So don’t worry…be happy.

One other thing. Please remember that this technique does not work for every man. It is difficult to coordinate so many important actions at the exact

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point of inevitability, but failure to do so may leave you with less than impressive results. Do not despair. It’s full speed ahead, on to the second method! As I said earlier, the second method is a bit more work, but it is also far more foolproof.

Three Steps to Higher Consciousness

When I teach men how to have multiple orgasms, I tend to use a more conservative approach than the one-shot method.

Because I am a woman, I don’t like to make any assumptions about what the average man can or cannot do with his equipment. The conservative approach takes into account a wide range of differences among men, and that makes me feel more confident that it will work for you, the reader. If I were a music teacher, I would probably start all of my students with classical music theory and technique. It might not be as much fun in the beginning, but it’s a solid foundation you can work from forever.

At the clinic, it usually takes three sessions to learn this longer method. I guess you could call it a “three-shot technique,” or a “three-step program.” In the first session, you learn the finer points of ejaculation awareness using two exercises as a learning aid. In the second session, I introduce the exercises that result in multiple orgasm. In the third session, we work on timing and practice. We’re going to do the same thing here, but instead of having three sessions in the office, you will learn all three steps in the comfort of your own home. In this chapter, the first two steps are presented.

The third step is in chapter 11.

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Step 1: an Ejaculation Education

How much do you know right now about your own ejaculation? Did you know, for example, that ejaculation actually occurs in two phases: emission and expulsion? If you did, you get an A in biology. If you didn’t, it’s time to learn.

In the emission phase of your ejaculation, semen starts to move through the vas deferens as muscles near the prostate gland begin to spasm. The semen then collects in the urethral bulb at the base of the penis. In the second phase of your ejaculation—the expulsion phase—the PC muscle starts to contract, forcing the semen up through the urethra and out of the penis.

That’s all very interesting…but what did I just say? I’m not so sure myself. I think what we need here is a slightly less academic approach. Let’s start by identifying all of the players in this little drama. The vas deferens are a bunch of ducts that carry semen from the testicles to the penis—a sort of semen subway. The prostate gland sits just behind the penis at the tip of the bladder. The prostate is also a source of semen, and if you’re one of the lucky ones, that’s all you’ll ever need to know about the prostate. The urethra, an extension of the bladder, is that little tube that runs up through the center of the penis. It carries both urine and semen out into the fresh air. Is that a little clearer? To make it clearer still, you may want to take a look at the diagram in Appendix 2.

Now let’s return to those two phases. In a nutshell, here’s what’s happening. In the emission phase, semen from the testicles and prostate takes a

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little subway ride to the base of the penis, prodded along by the contractions of muscles near the prostate gland. In the expulsion phase, your old friend the PC muscle picks up the ball and pushes the semen up through the penis and out into the world. Phase 1: The cannon is loaded. Phase 2: The cannon is fired. It’s that simple.

The entire ejaculation process—emission and expulsion—takes about two seconds. Think about that for a moment. Think of all the amazing things you’ve done for that two-second payoff. Think of the poetry you’ve written, the florists you’ve supported, the stories you’ve woven.…Nature is truly amazing.

Why do you need to know all of this? Not so that you will feel foolish. Honest. It is very important for you to have a full understanding of your own ejaculation process, including the timing, if you are going to be a master of your own body.

For most men, the contraction of the PC during expulsion is an involuntary process. Once you take control of your PC

muscle, however, you can voluntarily delay or prevent ejaculation. Yet your body still experiences the full sensation of orgasm, complete with rapid heart rate, muscle contractions, and the intense sensation of release.

Understanding the difference between emission and expulsion helps you learn to actually
feel
these two distinct phases of ejaculation as they are happening to you. Most men are very aware of the expulsion phase, but they have little sense of what’s happening prior to that. But if you want to get the timing right in the last and most important set of exercises in this

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book, you’re going to need a bit more ejaculation awareness than the average guy. That’s why I always teach my clients the following exercise.

Exercise 15: Texas Two-Step (with a partner) Lie on your back and ask your partner to begin a genital caress. Do a series of low-level peaks—like a Level 4, a Level 5, and a Level 6. Give your partner lots of feedback so she knows when to back off and when to intensify her caress.