How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (28 page)

There’s something about being inside a woman that gives most men extra incentive to stretch out those plateaus. Your partner is going to be just as into these exercises as you are; she may even be doing a little plateauing of her own. A lot of women who are multiorgasmic are actually plateauing at Level 9.9. Their arousal is up so high for so long that they just start crossing over to Level 10 over and over, having orgasm after orgasm. You’re going to learn a different method—something that works better for men—but I thought you’d appreciate knowing this little piece of multiple orgasm trivia.

If you can have intercourse without putting any pressure on yourself or on your partner, try having 118 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

a few plateaus inside your partner. Experiment with maintaining different levels of arousal during intercourse. The four techniques you will be using are the same: changing your breathing, squeezing your PC muscle, changing your motion, and changing your focus. Be adventurous. Party.

Just don’t forget that you both have jobs to go to on Monday morning.

Please do remember that you don’t have to have intercourse in any of these exercises to make them wonderful and special. If you’re still most comfortable with the genital caress, stay with it for now. There will be plenty of opportun-ities for intercourse later on, once you have solidified your new skills. The most important thing right now is to just keep practicing, and practicing, and practicing.…

C H A P T E R T E N

YOUR FIRST MULTIPLE

ORGASM

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A
llison and Daniel, who you read about in the beginning of this book, are once again making love on a Sunday morning. They are the same two people they were a month ago, but they don’t feel like the same two people.

Their lovemaking started when Daniel walked out of the shower and was greeted by Allison, who was wearing nothing but a large blue and white striped bath towel. When she wrapped the towel around the two of them, Daniel responded immediately.

Right now they are on top of their queen-size bed where they have been making love for the last ten minutes. They are both totally turned on, and Daniel feels he is ready to have an orgasm, but Daniel knows that Allison needs another five minutes of intercourse before she can climax.
No problem
.

What was once a source of incredible stress for Daniel and disappointment for Allison is no longer. Daniel knows that this time he can have a powerful orgasm without disturbing the erotic connection. Allison, who knows that Daniel’s orgasm does not signal the end of their lovemaking, becomes even more excited. It’s thrilling for her to be with Daniel, knowing that he can climax and still keep going.

After his first orgasm, Daniel is able to maintain his erection and continue thrusting until Allison also reaches orgasm.

Allison is so excited by Daniel that she actually reaches her climax much sooner than he had anticipated.

Daniel feels that he could keep going for another twenty minutes, but the chime of the grandfather clock in the hall reminds him that they are sup-122 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

posed to meet friends for brunch, and that they had better start moving in that direction. At this point, Daniel decides to have his second orgasm. This time, he will ejaculate.

Until recently, Daniel, like you, knew only one type of orgasm: a single orgasm accompanied by simultaneous ejaculation. Not anymore. Today, he understands that:

• Orgasm and ejaculation do not have to occur together; they are two distinct phenomena that can be experienced as separate pleasures.

• A nonejaculatory orgasm feels as good, if not better, than a conventional orgasm.

• Having a nonejaculatory orgasm enables you to maintain an erection and continue intercourse.

• It is possible to have a second orgasm soon after your first orgasm. It is even possible to have a third or fourth orgasm, whether or not you ejaculate with any or all of your orgasms. Daniel has learned all of this through his own experience. Now it is time for you to learn.

You are about to have your first multiple orgasm. Prepare yourself—life may never be quite the same again. You have reached this point because you have worked hard. You have turned weak muscle into steel, mastered the most subtle nuances of your own physiology, ascended difficult peaks, and traversed many daunting plateaus. You may even have slain a dragon or two along the way.

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You have met all the challenges, and probably had quite a bit of fun doing so. It’s time to rid both you and your damsel of your distress.

In this chapter you will learn the techniques that will transform you from a mild-mannered orgasmic man into a multiorgasmic superhero. If you have followed my instructions carefully and done your homework thoroughly, the transformation will not be difficult. You will not need a phone booth. You will not need tights and a cape. You will not need to hide your identity from your loved ones. In this legion of superheroes, enthusiasm and a bit of hard work are the only requirements for admission.

Two Ways to the Top

As you will soon see, the key to separating orgasm from ejaculation lies in the proper use of a well-developed PC

muscle. If you are not yet confident in the power of your PC, now is the time to go back to the earlier exercises and build the necessary strength. You’ll get to the good stuff soon enough, and your patience and efforts will be rewarded in extraordinary ways. If, on the other hand, your PC has done its job to your satisfaction in all of the previous exercises, you are probably ready to take the final steps.

There are actually many paths to achieving male multiple orgasm. In this chapter, you’re going to learn two of them.

These choices have not been made arbitrarily. The two methods in this chapter are the two methods in which I have the most confi-124 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

dence. They are the methods my colleagues and I have worked with the most and like the most.

The first method you are going to learn is what we call the

“one-shot” technique. It is a shortcut of sorts that was developed by my colleague and mentor Dr. Michael Riskin.

Dr. Riskin calls it a one-shot technique because he can usually teach the technique in only one office session (assuming you’ve done all of the preparatory work presented in the preceding chapters.) You walk into the office a man, and you walk out a multiorgasmic man. Amazing.

The second method is the one I teach most often in private practice with my clients. I’m a bit more conservative than some of my colleagues, and this method takes a little bit longer to learn, whether you are learning at home or at my office. But the results are always impressive.

At the clinic, we like to tease each other about whose techniques are best. It certainly makes for interesting conversation at the water cooler, but we all know that our opinions are only our opinions. The truth is, every client has his own preferences, and there is no way to predict yours. As I’ve said before, every man is slightly different, and what works best or feels best for one does not work as well or feel as good for the next. We have all seen the effectiveness of both methods and we know they’re both good. In this chapter, you’ll have the opportunity to experiment with both and decide for yourself.

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Fairy Tales Can Come True (Or, The Tortoise and the Hare Revisited)

Dr. Riskin’s one-shot technique is the fastest way I know for a man to reach his first multiple orgasm. It is also easier to learn than the second method. When it works, it’s amazing.

But please take note:
The one shot technique does not work for
every man
. It is a shortcut, and shortcuts do not always work.

The second method in this chapter is far more thorough and far more foolproof. It takes a little more time to learn, but the payoff awaits.

If this one-shot method does not work for you, you have absolutely no reason to get discouraged. It does not mean that there is something wrong with your equipment and it does not mean that you will never have a multiple orgasm.

All it means is that you spent a few minutes trying something new, and it didn’t work. You will learn the one-shot method first because it does save time.

If the one-shot technique does not work for you, do not stop. Do not pass GO. Do not skip a turn. Do not pack your bags and head for Fiji. Instead, please go immediately to the second set of exercises in this chapter. These more compre-hensive techniques are not harder to learn. There are more steps in the process, but it is not a difficult process if you follow my instructions. Yes, it may take you a bit longer before you have your first multiple orgasm, but you
will
have it. Plus, you will also have learned a valu-126 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

able lesson about the benefits of patience and commitment.

Then someday, years from now, when you are sitting with your great-grandchildren reading “The Tortoise and the Hare,” you’ll remember these moments, and tell the story with much greater conviction.

No Cheating, Please

Before we get started, let me stress one last time that the techniques presented in this chapter require a powerful PC

muscle that is under your control. This is especially true for the one-shot technique. You also need to be very confident in your ability to peak and/or plateau at very high arousal levels.

I can appreciate the fact that you want to get to the good stuff, and I applaud your enthusiasm. It must be hard
not
to rush when nirvana awaits, but this is another instance in which rushing can ruin sex.

My grandfather used to say, “It’s hard to reach nirvana if the tires on the bus don’t have enough air.” (I guess you can understand why he and my grandmother got along so well.) Please take a moment right now to “check your tires.” Please examine how diligent you have been following the exercise regimen until this point. Be honest with yourself. If you are the least bit unsure about how thorough you’ve been, now is the time to go back to the earlier exercises and really give it your all.

There is only one shortcut in this book, and that’s the one you’re about to learn. If you have tried to cut corners with any of the previous exercises, you are going to be very frustrated and disap-

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pointed when you attempt the exercises in this chapter.

Achieving male multiple orgasm is easy if you do the work, but if you don’t do the work, it usually doesn’t happen.

The Shot Heard Round the World

Exercises 13 and 14 were developed by Dr. Michael Riskin through his work with hundreds of men at the Riskin-Banker Psychotherapy Center. He has spent many years refining and perfecting his techniques, and I am happy to be able to present them here. Even if this method doesn’t work for you, it’s fun to try. So go for it. Exercise 14 is done without a partner.

Exercise 13: Doc Riskin’s Magic Motion (with a partner) This exercise begins with the man lying on his back. Your partner begins by giving you a genital caress with her hands and/or mouth. Let your arousal build. The first thing you are going to do is peak at Level 4. When you reach Level 4, let your partner know. She should stop the stimulation and let you drop a couple of levels. Use your PC to help control the situation.

Ask your partner to resume the stimulation. When you reach Level 5, let her know. She should stop again and let you drop a couple of levels. Use your PC if you need to. Now start again and do a peak to Level 6. It should take between three and five minutes to complete each peak. If you want to

128 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

take more time, stretch your peaks into plateaus using the techniques we practiced in the previous chapter.

At this point you are going to get into the position we have been using for intercourse. You should be feeling pretty aroused right now, and you probably have at least a partial erection if not a full erection.

Insert your penis into your partner and begin slowly thrusting. You should be taking slow, focused, deep breaths the entire time. Focus on what you are feeling. Focus on every thrust. Your partner should also be focusing on the thrusts and focusing on her feelings.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: The two of you are in this together. If your partner is counting the cracks in the ceiling, it defeats the whole purpose of these techniques.

Only practice the partner exercises when both of you are really into it. If you want to practice and she doesn’t, fly solo.

Peak up to Level 7. When you reach Level 7, either slow down or stop thrusting until your arousal drops a couple of levels. Stay in the moment. Now resume or accelerate your thrusting and peak up to Level 8. Let your arousal drop a couple of levels once again. Next, peak up to Level 9. Then drop down yet again. You may prefer to take more time by stretching these peaks into longer plateaus.

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Now here’s the tricky part. This time you are going to resume thrusting past Level 9, all the way to your point of inevitability. (Remember that’s the psychological point where it becomes clear to you that ejaculation is going to happen, no matter what.)
As soon as you hit your point of no return,
squeeze your PC muscle as hard as you can for ten seconds and
open your eyes. Take a really deep breath. Now keep thrusting!

Don’t stop!

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: Most people instinctively close their eyes as they approach orgasm. To make this technique work, you
must
open your eyes during the PC squeeze. I don’t know why. All I know is that it doesn’t work if you keep your eyes closed. Keeping the eyes open is the part of this technique that men are most likely to forget.

If you can do all of these things simultaneously, your body is going to go into orgasm at this very moment. Your heart will pound, you’ll sweat, and your muscles will contract. All of the sensations of at least a partial, if not a full, orgasm will be there.
But you will not ejaculate
. Your PC has stopped your ejaculation while still allowing your body to go into orgasm.