How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (27 page)

This is her cue to stop moving too. Stay inside your partner and wait for your arousal to drop two levels. This should take a few seconds.

Once your arousal has dropped two levels, start thrusting again. This time, you want to peak at Level 8. Try to keep your thrusting at medium speed. You’re not in any rush—let your arousal build slowly. When you reach Level 8, squeeze your PC. Take a deep, deep breath. Then stop moving for a few seconds. Tell your partner, “That’s an 8.” She should stop moving too, if she hasn’t already. Stay inside of her and let your arousal drop at least two levels.

You may be ready to stop the exercise by now. Or you may feel like you’re just getting started. If you both want to try for a Level 9 peak, go for it. Remember that you are going to have to squeeze that PC
really
hard and take a
really
deep breath

106 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

when you hit your high peaks. If you want to go all the way to orgasm, that’s great too. But feel free to stop at any time.

The most important thing is that both of you are enjoying yourselves.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: You can learn all you need to know about peaking without having any intercourse. The most important thing right now is that neither you nor your partner are feeling any pressure to perform. If you would prefer to limit your contact to genital caresses, please do. And remember that if you do have intercourse it should be a
pressure-free
interaction. Don’t change the intent of the exercises.

C H A P T E R N I N E

FROM PEAKS TO

PLATEAUS

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Y
ou are now ready to prepare the final ingredient in our recipe for male multiple orgasm: the plateau. A plateau, quite simply, is an extended peak. The peaks you have been creating in the previous chapter last only one or two seconds.

Well, imagine taking these short peaks and stretching them out so they last five seconds, ten seconds, or even longer before they drop off. Instead of a quick peak, you now have an exhilarating plateau.

In the following exercises you are going to learn how to stretch your peaks into plateaus lasting anywhere from several seconds to several minutes. This may sound like a long time right now, but once you experience just how wonderful each plateau feels, you’re going to wish it lasted even longer.

I get excited just thinking about it.

There are four different ways to stretch a peak into a plateau:

• Changing your breathing

• Squeezing your PC muscle

• Changing your motion

• Changing your focus

I’m going to teach you all four of these methods in the following exercises. All four are important, for reasons I will discuss later. What you’re really doing in these plateauing exercises is learning how to manipulate and prolong your own arousal using different types of stimulation. You’re learning to “play” with your levels—to control them and enjoy them in new and exciting ways. This kind of control 110 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

is going to pave the way toward your first multiple orgasm.

These techniques are a little bit more tricky than anything you’ve tried so far, but the rewards are worth the effort. So, assuming you are rested and ready, let’s get back to work.

Note that Exercise 11 does not require a partner, while Exercise 12 is done with a partner.

Exercise 11: Bronco Buster (solo)

Lie on your back or sit in a chair and get very comfortable.

Using plenty of lubrication, begin a genital caress. Start working toward a Level 5 peak. Using the first technique—changing your breathing—you are actually going to stretch that Level 5 peak into a Level 5 plateau.

As you reach Level 5 you want to start thinking about making your first plateau. Pay close attention to your arousal level. You should be getting pretty good at this by now. Can you tell the difference between a “5” and a “5.5”?

Before you reach Level 6,
slow down your breathing
. Don’t change anything else. By intentionally slowing your breathing pattern, your arousal level should start to fall. Pay close attention as it starts to dip. Once it drops below Level 5, you want to change your breathing again. This time, you want to
breathe faster
—so you’re almost panting. If you are breathing fast enough, your arousal level will rise back to Level 5 or higher.

Just by manipulating your breathing—alternating between slowing it down and speeding it up—

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you should be able to hover at Level 5 (plus or minus half a level). A lot of guys call this “riding a 5.” See if you can stay there for at least a few seconds.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: You don’t want to do this particular breathing manipulation too long because you might hyperventilate. Sixty seconds is too long. Ten or fifteen seconds is plenty. You can create longer plateaus with the other three techniques.

Take a rest, letting your arousal drop one or two levels.

Then begin stroking yourself again so your arousal starts to climb. This time, let’s try to plateau at Level 6 using the second technique: squeezing the PC muscle.

As you reach Level 6 you want to be thinking about your plateau. Don’t stop your caress. Let your arousal continue to rise. But by the time you reach Level 6.5, you need to take action. It’s simple: give your PC a couple of squeezes. That’s all. Don’t change anything else; this time it is only the PC

you’re going to work with.

Squeezing the PC should stop your arousal from climbing any higher, and could bring you down half a level or more.

Continue your caress with the same intensity and let your level rise again. Every time you pass Level 6 use the PC to bring you back down. Try to “ride” that Level 6 for at least ten or fifteen seconds. Yeehaa! You’ve created a plateau with the PC muscle.

112 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Now let’s try the third technique: changing your motion.

This time, you are going to stretch your peak into a plateau by changing the speed at which you stroke your penis. Begin as though you were going to peak at Level 7. Once you have passed Level 7, slow your motion down. The shift should lower your arousal almost immediately. Let yourself dip below a “7.” Now speed up your motion to rise back up.

Whenever you want to raise your level, speed up your stroke. Whenever you want to drop it, slow down. It’s that simple. Try to maintain your Level 7 plateau for at least a few seconds. Have a good ride.

The fourth way to stretch a peak into a plateau is to change the focus. In this exercise, changing the focus means changing the area of your genitals that you are stimulating (it will have a different meaning in other exercises). Let’s say you’ve been caressing the head of your penis. To change the focus, you’d stop touching the head and start caressing the testicle or the shaft. Sound simple? Good. Let’s try it.

This time, let’s shoot for Level 8. Caress yourself as though you were going to peak at Level 8, but when you hit your

“8,” don’t stop. Somewhere between “8” and “8.5” you want to change the focus of your caress. Your arousal should start to drop. As your arousal dips below Level 8, shift back to the area you were touching before or intensify the pressure of your touch. This should bring you back up. If you get too high, shift again. Use this technique to extend your Level 8

peak into a ten-or fifteen-second plateau.

Congratulations cowboy! You’re a full-fledged bronco buster now.

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TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: The key to mastering the plateau is learning to stay relaxed while you continue to stimulate yourself. This gets easier to do once you trust that the four different techniques you’ve just learned really work. With some practice, you can learn to ride at really intense levels, such as Level 9 or even Level 9.5.

You can also learn how to plateau with your partner. Extending your arousal extends your partner’s pleasure too, making this exercise a favorite among women. Some men find it easier to learn plateauing techniques with a partner whereas others find it easier to work alone. Try it both ways, if you like, and see what’s best for you.

Exercise 12: Endless Summer (with a partner) Once again, you need to lie on your back and get comfortable.

Your partner is going to begin a sensate focus genital caress.

This is a demand-free exercise. You should both be focusing on the sensations—nothing more.

Your first plateau is going to be at Level 4, and you are going to create it by controlling your breathing. As you reach Level 4, start breathing more slowly and deeply. Your arousal should start to drop, even though your partner is continuing her caress. When you dip to a “3.5” start breathing faster, as though you were panting. Your level 114 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

should rise. Slow down your breathing again once you pass Level 4.

By alternating between slow breathing and panting, you should be able to maintain your plateau at Level 4 for ten or fifteen seconds. It’s like catching a wave and riding it. Just remember that you don’t want to manipulate your breathing for very long because you run the risk of hyperventilating.

Try your next plateau at Level 6. This time, you’re going to use your PC muscle to help you ride the wave.

Your partner is continuing her caress. Your arousal level is rising. When you reach a point just beyond Level 6, give your PC muscle a couple of squeezes. Your level should stop rising—it could even drop slightly.

Your partner is still continuing her caress. Focus on her stimulation. Every time your level hits “6.5,” squeeze that muscle. Try to hold this plateau for at least fifteen seconds.

Now let’s try a plateau at Level 7 with the third technique: changing your motion. In the last exercise, you changed your hand motion. But you’re working with a partner now. So in this exercise, you’re going to change the motion of your pelvis.

As your partner caresses you, try responding with some gentle thrusts and rolls of your pelvis. Nothing too quick or abrupt, and nothing too stiff. Just nice, easy thrusts and rolls.

Let your arousal rise.

Once you pass Level 7, slow down or stop your pelvic motion. Your level should start to drop, even though your partner is continuing her caress. If you dip below “7,” speed up your movements. Your

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level should start to rise again. It’s that simple. Using this technique, try to ride Level 7 for at least fifteen seconds.

Now let’s try the fourth technique—switching the focus—to create a plateau at Level 8.

In chapter 6 you learned how to focus all of your attention on the areas that you or your partner were touching at that very moment. But it is also possible to intentionally shift your focus to an area that is
not
being touched at that moment. This is different from changing the area where you are being touched, as you did in the previous exercise. This time, you are only making a
mental
shift in your focus.

Let’s say that your partner has been focusing her caress on the head of your penis. Your attention has been focused there too. By now, that area is feeling extremely sensitive and you are very aroused. As you pass Level 8, try shifting your mental focus to an area she is not stimulating as intensely. Focus on the shaft of your penis, for example. Or focus on the feeling of her body lying across yours. Your level should start to drop.

If your level dips below “8,” shift your focus back to the area on which your partner is concentrating. Your level should start to rise again. That’s all there is to it. If you want to go higher, focus on the area being stimulated. If you want to go lower, focus on an area not being stimulated so intensely.

This is not the same as thinking about baseball or your old Aunt Irma. You are not trying to mentally leave the room.

You are staying very connected to your body and very connected to your partner. You are only changing the point of connection.

116 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Using this fourth technique, you should be able to maintain a plateau at Level 8 for at least fifteen seconds, if not more.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: You don’t
have
to work in any particular order and you don’t
have
to work at any particular level. I just find that it tends to be easier when you work from low to high. I also don’t recommend doing more than four plateaus in any one session.

Save something for next time.

Student Driver on Board

You have now learned four different ways to create a plateau.

Some may appeal to you more than others, or work more effectively than others, but the truth is, the best way to create long, fabulous plateaus is to use these four techniques
all together
.

Now that may sound a bit mind boggling. At this point, you’ve barely mastered each one individually. But it’s a lot like learning to drive a car. Remember how you felt when you got behind the wheel for the first time? There you were, staring down at the clutch, the stick, the brakes, the gas, and the turn signals, thinking, “How am I ever going to learn to do all of these things at the same time?” But you did, didn’t you?

When you learned to drive a car, you didn’t start by doing everything at once. You added things in, one or two at a time.

Well, that’s what you’re

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going to do in these plateauing exercises. So spend some time with these exercises. When you get comfortable with one plateauing technique, try to add a second, and then a third. Before you know it, working simultaneously with all four methods will be almost automatic.

Don’t worry if you’re not a quick study. You don’t
have
to work with all four techniques simultaneously to have great plateaus. It’s just easier when you’re using all four together.

That’s probably hard to imagine right now, but you’ll understand once you’ve had a little practice.

Feel Like Makin’ Love?

It’s nice to be beside your partner when you’re learning how to create plateaus for the first time. But once you’ve started getting comfortable with your newest techniques, it might be even nicer to be
inside
her.