How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (22 page)

I want you to repeat this exercise
three times a day, every
day, for three weeks
. A consistent exercise regimen is the most effective way to maximize the strengthening of your PC

muscle in the shortest amount of time. And it’s worth every moment.

Road Trip

I know this sounds like a commercial, but these PC exercises are easy and can be done anywhere—in the car, at the beach, or while sitting at your desk. Many men tell me that half the fun of prepping is being able to do it in broad daylight in front of city hall with no fear of being arrested for indecent exposure! Okay, I’m exaggerating. But men do tell me that prepping the PC is a lot of fun.

Now that you’ve isolated your PC muscle and learned how to squeeze, you might want to take your act on the road.

Do you ride the bus to work? A perfect opportunity. Long line at the bank? Why not. Having lunch alone? Not anymore.

Of course, you may prefer to keep your exercise regimen safe at home, but you have many options.

48 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Two PC Pitfalls

These exercises are not hard, but there are two common mistakes men make when they start these exercises that you need to be aware of before we go any further:
MISTAKE 1:
Doing too many reps
.
I know you’re feeling very enthusiastic right now, but there is such a thing as overdoing it. The PC muscle can get sore like any other muscle. You may have already discovered this on your own.

Go slow at first, as you would when you start any other exercise for the first time, and let the muscle build. You can pour it on later.

MISTAKE 2:
Failing to isolate the PC
.
The PC is a small group of muscles, which need to be isolated from the many larger muscles close by during your exercises. As I said before, it is important that your stomach, upper thighs, and buttocks are all completely relaxed when you are working out the PC. They should not be moving.

Are you having difficulty isolating the PC from other muscles? Many men have this problem when they try these exercises for the first time. Not to worry. If you can’t stop yourself from tensing other muscles during your PC exercises, you simply need to exhaust these muscles first so they don’t interfere with your new exercise regimen.

Let’s say you have a tendency to tense your stomach muscles during your PC workout. What you need to do is tense and untense your stomach muscles at least ten or twenty times before you begin your PC exercises. That should tire them out enough so they don’t get in the way. The same applies for

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT / 49

buttock, thigh, and groin muscles. If you have to work these muscles really hard before you get to work on your PC, that’s okay. Do thirty or forty reps if twenty isn’t enough. This may sound like a lot of work, but you’re not going to have to do this for the rest of your life—just for a couple of days.

Once you have really isolated your PC, your muscle

“confusion” should dissolve, leaving you free to devote your full attention to working the program. With that in mind, let us now return to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress.

Exercise 3: The Big Squeeze (two to three minutes a day) Have you done your reps three times a day for the last three weeks? Good. Now you’re ready to learn what I call “The Big Squeeze” (a.k.a. “The Power Squeeze” or “The Death Grip”). I want you to keep doing your twenty quick squeezes, three times a day. But now you’re going to add ten really
slow
squeezes. This is what you do. Take five seconds to slowly squeeze your PC as tight as you can. Now hold the tension for a full five seconds, if possible. Finally, release the tension gradually over the next five seconds. You should be able to feel yourself really working the muscle.

This might be a bit difficult at first. You may only be able to do one or two fifteen-second squeezes before you tire.

That’s okay. But try to eventually work up to ten full repeti-tions, each taking ten to fifteen seconds. It may take you a few days, or even a few weeks, to get there. That’s okay. It’s more important that you don’t push yourself too hard. You’re 50 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

not training to be an American Gladiator. Just enjoy the process and keep squeezing.

Meet Early and Meet Often

The PC workout is like any other workout. The harder you work, the faster and more impressive the results. The great thing about the PC is that, unlike some muscles, it responds so quickly to being exercised. No matter how intense or casual your workout is, you won’t have to spend months and months before you notice a difference. As you will soon see, the PC workout brings immediate gratification. Still, you need to be thorough.

There are several steps to becoming multiorgasmic, but building up the PC is the crucial first step. Don’t give it short shrift. There are no deadlines here, no clocks to punch, and no boss to report to. The most important thing is to get the job done. Are you one of those people who takes the new VCR out of the box and tries to make it work without reading a single page of the instruction manual? I’m the same way.

But this kind of attitude simply won’t work when it comes to mastering the techniques for male multiple orgasm.

My grandmother used to say to me, “You can’t run in the Olympics until you’ve learned to tie your sneakers.” Listen to grandma. Take it one step at a time and take your time on every step. You’ll be at the finish line before you know it, being hugged by your biggest fan. Meanwhile, that will give us some time to talk a little bit more about the miracle of male multiple orgasm.

C H A P T E R F I V E

MALE MULTIPLE

ORGASM—THE SECRET

REVEALED

51

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W
hat exactly
is
male multiple orgasm? Is it anything like a regular orgasm or is it completely different? Is it better than a regular orgasm? Is it a lot of work? Is it different from female multiple orgasm? Can any man have one? Questions, questions, questions. Your head is probably spinning from all of the questions you have at this very moment. And let us not forget the most important one of all:
How do you do it?

Male Multiple Orgasm: My Definition

A multiorgasmic man, quite simply, is a man who can have two or more orgasms in a row without resting. He does not experience any significant down time between his orgasms.

By “down time,” I mean a refractory period in between orgasms when the penis is not easily aroused. A multiorgasmic man is able to maintain his erection, even though he has already had an orgasm, and continue making love from orgasm to orgasm. Unlike most “normal” men, a multiorgasmic man does not lose his ability to stay erect after his first orgasm. He can continue to a second or even a third or fourth orgasm without resting.

This is not the same as having two or more orgasms in an afternoon of lovemaking with periods of rest or breaks in between. The multiorgasmic man does not need a rest. He might want to, and he certainly can, if he or his partner wishes, but he doesn’t
have
to stop. He is capable of continuing to make love
immediately
after orgasm.

54 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

How is this Possible?

There are some men, particularly young men, who are just plain lucky. These guys are naturals. Their physiology is such that they don’t lose their erections after orgasm, or they regain their erections so quickly that intercourse is barely interrupted. Men like this are “born” multiorgasmic. Maybe there was a time in your life when you were this lucky too.

But chances are, those days are gone. Well, the good news is that you don’t have to be lucky anymore to be multiorgasmic. There is another way to acquire this ability, and it works regardless of your age, your experience, or your God-given talents.

The secret to becoming multiorgasmic is actually quite simple. The secret, for most men who have mastered the ability, lies in learning to have a complete orgasm without ejaculating. That’s right, a full, powerful orgasm—or two, or three, or more—
with no ejaculation
. Without ejaculation there is no refractory period—no down time. That means there is no significant loss of erection, leaving you free to continue having intercourse until you reach the point where you are ready to have an orgasm
with
simultaneous ejaculation.

Orgasm Without Ejaculation!…am I Crazy?

Now, I know that this may not sound as simple as I say it is.

There’s a really good chance that at this moment it all sounds very weird, or even impossible. I realize that as far as most men are concerned,

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there is no such thing as an orgasm without ejaculation. It’s a package deal, like thunder and lightning, right? Wrong.

This may be hard to believe, but as most sex therapists will confirm,
orgasm and ejaculation in males are two separate things
.

Yes, they typically occur together, and yes, it
feels
as though they are a package deal. But the physiological reality is that they are not inseparable. It is possible to have a full orgasm without a simultaneous ejaculation, and therein lies the key to becoming multiorgasmic. Learn how to separate them, and you’re on your way.

I know that this news isn’t mind-boggling for every man who is reading this book right now. Many men have stumbled onto this accidentally. In fact, there may already have been an occasion or two in
your
life when you actually experienced the sensations of orgasm without having an ejaculation.

At the time, you may not have thought much of it, or you might have found it confusing. Most men who experience this unintentionally think that it’s an accident or some strange quirk. Many worry that something might be wrong with them, but very few men think of it as an experience worth recapturing, let alone perfecting. If you did, you probably wouldn’t be reading this book right now—you’d be out there doing it. But believe me, I know hundreds of men who would gladly tell you that a nonejaculatory orgasm is an experience worth recapturing and worth perfecting. These men will also tell you that if you’ve never had a nonejaculatory orgasm, you need to start. And that’s what you’re going to do, with my help.

56 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Meet James, a Multiorgasmic Man

I’d like to introduce you to James, one of several multiorgasmic men you’ll hear about, a man who has been practicing these techniques for almost eight years. I want you to read James’s story first because his method of having multiple orgasms most closely resembles the style we focus on in this book. You may not necessarily have intercourse for the same length of time as James does, but the techniques you use will not differ significantly.

When James and his partner Sharon make love, he typically takes ten minutes or more before he has an orgasm. He starts intercourse slowly and lets his arousal build. Then the instant before he is about to ejaculate, he thrusts deeply into Sharon and squeezes the muscle that runs from the base of the penis to the area behind his testicles. This allows him to have a full orgasm—including rapid heart rate, muscle contractions, and that incredible sensation of release—
without an ejaculation
.

James maintains his erection, continues to make love, and has two to four more orgasms this way. When he wants to stop making love, he has a final orgasm and ejaculates. James is able to do this because he has achieved good control of the pelvic muscles that spasm when a man ejaculates.

James usually lets his partner’s desires guide him. If Sharon wants to have intercourse for a long time, he simply delays his ejaculation until she’s had all she wants. In the meantime, he may have three or four
full
orgasms. If Sharon wants to make it a shorter evening, James complies happily.

Some

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nights are marathons and some nights are quickies. The important thing is, it’s their decision.

Alan’s Story

Alan used to have one quick orgasm when he made love and then call it a night. Today, however, Alan is a two-orgasm guy. When he is making love with his wife, Alan’s first orgasm tends to come on rather quickly—within five minutes or less. But Alan has learned to contract his PC muscle at just the right moment before his climax, and this completely suppresses his ejaculation. Alan calls this first orgasm his

“dry” orgasm. This is usually his most powerful orgasm, but it is just the beginning of his lovemaking.

With orgasm number one out of the way, Alan “settles in”

for the slow journey to orgasm number two. What Alan likes to do here is time his second orgasm so that it occurs with, or just after, his wife’s orgasm. Alan and his wife find this to be extremely gratifying for both of them. Alan’s wife tends to need prolonged intercourse before she can climax, which is why she was so enthusiastic about helping Alan learn these techniques.

Alan and his wife have developed a set of non-verbal signals (winks, nods, squeezes, etc.) that help them get their timing right. When it is time for their mutual climax, Alan just relaxes all of the muscles he tensed the first time, and has a second full orgasm, complete with ejaculation. Alan says, “The first one is for me.…The second one is for both of us.”

58 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

The Multiorgasmic Male: Some Variations on a Theme The exercises in this book will teach you what I believe to be the simplest, most effective way for a man to become multiorgasmic. But that’s just the beginning. Once you have mastered these techniques, you may go on to develop your own unique style. In the many years I have worked with men, I have seen all kinds of interesting variations on the theme of multiple orgasm. For example, while most men achieve multiple orgasms by delaying ejaculation, some are able to have partial or even complete ejaculations without losing their erections. While most men spread out their orgasms through a prolonged session of lovemaking, some men experience all of their orgasms in rapid-fire succession.