How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (21 page)

Did Your Partner Give You This Book?

If your partner gave you this book, your interest in male multiple orgasm will not be a surprise to her.

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You probably already know that it is important to her that you improve your ability to prolong intercourse. But that doesn’t mean that the two of you don’t need to talk about it.

My one rule here is:
Don’t assume anything
. Many of the issues in the preceding pages still need to be addressed. In addition, it’s important for you to know what her expecta-tions are, and to make sure that they are realistic.

If you feel pressured in any way, it’s important to communicate this immediately to your partner. Even if you’re a multiorgasmic man, performance pressure almost invariably interferes with sexual functioning, and that is something you do not want to happen. As I said before, the entire purpose of these techniques is to bring the two of you closer together, not drive you apart.

To the Women Reading This Book

Can we talk for a moment, woman to woman? If there’s one thing that stops women from getting excited about the exercises in this book or getting involved, it’s the fear that the whole process is going to be too mechanical. After all, how can a bunch of exercises be sexy? Some women feel uncomfortable about the whole idea of male multiple orgasm. Instead of looking forward to a richer sexual relationship, they fear that these techniques are going to turn their stud into a mechanical bull.

I need to dispel these concerns right now. Although doing exercises with a partner doesn’t sound very sexy or very passionate, the techniques I am going to teach you unleash a level of passion

36 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

and desire few couples ever experience. These exercises take a man into his body, not away from it. Even more important, they take a man into
your
body, not away from it. It is very sexy stuff. No longer feeling burdened by his anxieties or limitations, you will both be free to experience each other with far greater intensity than ever before. Now that doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

There’s one other thing we women need to talk about. As you read through the exercises in this book, you’re going to notice pretty quickly that the vast majority of instructions are directed toward the male reader. This might make you feel a little bit left out, even if you’re joining in for most of the exercises. Since it is the man who is learning to become multiorgasmic here and has most of the work to do, he requires the most instruction. I’m sure you can see the logic in that. But I don’t want anyone to feel left out just because the one with the penis has the tougher job this time.

Remember that all of this is being done for
you
. Your partner is learning this to increase
your
pleasure and because he cares about
you
. You are the single most important motivation for his process. Period. But you are not a passive ob-server of his process, or a flexible love doll whose only purpose is to give your partner a female form on which to practice. You have a really important job here, and I mean that quite sincerely.

You can make or break these exercises for your partner because these are your exercises too. Your pleasure should never be compromised for his pleasure and your needs should never be compromised

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for his needs. The wonderful thing about learning these exercises is that it’s an incredibly sensual, exciting experience for both partners. If it isn’t, something is wrong, and you need to back up for a moment and consider where your experience got compromised.

Every man I teach says the same thing: the key ingredient to learning these exercises is an enthusiastic partner. A woman’s excitement is contagious. It is the biggest turn-on a man could ask for. As I’m sure you all know from experience, a passive partner is deadly in
any
erotic encounter, and this erotic exercise regimen is no exception. If the woman isn’t really excited about doing this with her partner, she shouldn’t be doing it. It’s that simple.

This is not one of those things you do for him, even though you really don’t want to. When it comes to sex, it never makes sense to do anything for him if you’re not enjoying it too.

There should never be any suffering in a sexual relationship; there should only be pleasure and passion. If that sounds trite, forgive me, but it’s true.

People who make big compromises in their sexual relationships are unhappy, and the relationship as a whole always suffers. That is something I do not want to encourage. I only want to make your relationship better, but I need your help and your trust to do it. If you honestly want to be a part of this exciting process, there is plenty for any woman to do.

But the very first thing you need to do is let yourself have a wonderful time. Don’t worry about him—he’ll take care of himself. Just make sure
you
are always getting the most out of every experience.

38 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

As you do each exercise, think about how
you
might benefit the most. Make creative suggestions if you wish, and bring your own personality into the process. He’ll love that.

If you are going to participate in these exercises, pay very close attention to your partner. Read through each exercise together before you begin so you know what to expect. Then try to really focus on your partner’s experience in addition to focusing on your own. Try to feel his arousal as it rises and falls. Move the way he moves. Breathe the way he breathes. When he opens his eyes, open your eyes. If he moans, moan with him. If he falls asleep…if he falls asleep, poke him. Communicate as much as possible during each exercise. If the two of you stay really connected, you are going to feel most of what he is going through, and
it’s going
to be incredible for you too
. When two excited partners are deeply connected to each other, it makes for one hell of an amazing afternoon.

I need to ask you women one final favor. There are a few crucial moments in certain exercises when the man is instructed to stop moving. It is
very important
that the woman
stop
with him
. Too much friction at the wrong moment might feel great, but it will probably end the exercise prematurely, if you know what I mean. I know it’s going to get pretty exciting, and I know that sometimes it’s really hard to suddenly stop what you are doing, but what you will quickly discover is that if you stop at the necessary moments, the payoff later on will be even bigger. So, keeping my one request in mind, go out there and have yourself a great time.

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How to Use the Rest of This Book

All of the exercises in this book have been organized and presented with one goal in mind: to turn every single man who is reading this book into a multiorgasmic man. Every exercise is extremely important. Each serves a very specific purpose, and the order has been carefully chosen to make this step-by-step learning process as simple as possible.

Though you will not actually have to complete every exercise in this book, I think it’s a good idea to read through all of them.

You will notice later on that many of the exercises in this book are paired. In each pair, one exercise is designed for the man who is working with a partner and one is for the man who chooses to work alone. The exercises are labeled either “with a partner” or “solo” to make that clear.

In some cases I have presented the solo exercise first and in other cases I have presented the partner exercise first. This is because some exercises lend themselves more naturally to being tried first with a partner whereas others lend themselves more naturally to being tried first alone. But there is no right or wrong choice here, and I would not want to give that impression. Both exercises in each pair are totally valid, and it is up to you to choose the one you prefer.

It is my experience that most men prefer to mix it up a little bit, learning some techniques with their partners and learning others by themselves. That’s perfectly okay. You can alternate any way you wish. You can even practice both exercises in a given pair if you want to, but it is not a requirement.

40 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

There are only two guidelines I ask you to follow:
GUIDELINE 1:
Always do at least one of the two exercises in each pair. It doesn’t matter whether you do the partner exercise or the solo exercise, but you
must
do one of them.

GUIDELINE 2:
Please do the exercises in the order in which they are presented. The exercises build on each other, and you may get very frustrated if you try to skip around.

The easiest way to do these exercises is to read through each one before you begin. If you are working on a partner exercise, both of you should read through the exercise thoroughly.

Discuss the exercise after you have read it. As I just explained to the women reading this book, both partners need to understand their roles in each exercise.

If either of you has any doubts, flush them out before you get started. Keep that line of communication open and clear.

The more you talk now, the fewer complications you’ll have once the lights are dimmed. Pace yourselves. Don’t try to go through every exercise in a long weekend. Give yourselves weeks, or even months, to wander through the program.

Learning to be multiorgasmic isn’t anything like learning to play the violin. This process is going to be pleasurable from start to finish. You’re not going to have to wait until you get to Carnegie Hall before you start enjoying yourself. The most important thing is that you take your time and keep the pressure off.

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Keep Your Sex Safe!

As you read through the exercises in this book, you will notice that I have not specifically incorporated safe sex practices into the individual exercises. That’s because I have written this book primarily for committed, monogamous couples who know each other to be safe from sexual risk.

I don’t want to sound preachy here, but learning these techniques within the boundaries of a committed relationship is not only safer but more gratifying. Yet I realize that not all readers are currently in such a relationship.
If you are not in
a committed, monogamous relationship yet wish to learn these
techniques with a partner, it is crucial that you practice safe sex
during every single exercise. Condoms must be used, even if you
are not having intercourse!

While it is true that condoms tend to desensitize the penis somewhat, they do not prohibit mastery of any of the techniques in the book. Many of my clients have used condoms throughout the training process with complete satisfaction, and the majority have told me that the condoms did not interfere at all. If you use condoms as a standard birth control practice, I also recommend using them in all of your exercises.

C H A P T E R F O U R

THE COMPLETE PC

WORKOUT

43

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I
’m a big believer in foreplay, but enough is enough. It’s time to get started. In this chapter you are going to learn the first set of simple exercises that will set the stage for taking control of your sexuality the way you have always imagined.

Mastering them is the crucial first step on the path to a life-time of pleasure and power as a multiorgasmic male.
The
following three exercises are the most important exercises in the
book. Please take them very seriously
. It is important to take your time, follow my instructions carefully, and try to be very thorough.

Unlike many of the exercises that follow, this first set of exercises is most easily accomplished on your own. If you have a partner who is waiting to work with you, let her know you’ll be ready for her soon. You just need to prepare a few things. This should heighten her anticipation and make her all the more enthusiastic when it’s time for her to join in.

So…let the games begin. Enjoy yourself! And don’t forget:
PC power is ultimate power
.

Exercise 1: Hide and Seek

The very first thing you need to do is find your PC muscle.

For some men this is very simple—you probably knew where to find it the moment I mentioned it. You may even be squeezing it right now.

But many men are completely unfamiliar with the muscles in this area of the body. All of the individual muscles close to the groin—buttocks,

46 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

abdomen, thighs, and PC—may feel the same. They might all feel like one big muscle mass. That needs to change right now. Here is the simplest way to find your PC muscle and isolate it from all the others.

First, gently place one or two fingers right behind your testicles. Pretend that you are urinating. Now try to stop the flow. That muscle you just used to turn off the flow from the bladder is your PC muscle. Did you feel it tightening? Maybe you also noticed that your penis and testicles “jumped” a little when you flexed your PC.

It is very important that your stomach muscles and thigh muscles remain relaxed. Did they get tense too? Try again.

This time focus just on the PC.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: You are not trying to get an erection here, and you do not need an erection to exercise the PC. So relax, and let your penis respond naturally to these exercises.

Exercise 2: Squeeze Play (three to five minutes a day) Now that you’ve found your PC muscle, here is your next exercise: Three times a day, flex the PC twenty times. Hold it for one or two seconds each time, then release. That’s it.

Twenty squeezes, three times a day. I know it sounds simple, but words cannot express how important this exercise is.

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You do not need to keep your finger on the PC during these exercises. You should be able to feel it move internally.

If you don’t, or if you’re not sure, then keep your finger on the PC the first few times you do your exercises.

Breathe normally during this exercise. Like any other muscle-building exercise, proper breathing is always important. You don’t want to hold your breath.