If I'd Only Known (Milan Women Series Book 1) (14 page)

“Ma,
that's not a nice thing to say.” Barrington couldn't believe his mother.

Linda
had the good sense to look embarrassed. “Well, you see just how upset I am.
This whole thing's got me teetering on the verge of blasphemy.”

“It's
all right, Ma, I know you don't mean any harm; you just looking out for my
interest, and I love you for it. But, Ma, I believe my way is best for everyone
concerned, especially for my daughter because I'm considering her above it all.
She can't take up for herself, but I can. And I am, Ma. From this day forward,
I will meet my daughter's needs or die trying.”

Linda
proudly smiled in spite of herself, marveling at her son's wisdom. “I guess I
raised you right after all,” she conceded, walking over to firmly hug her son.
She tenderly kissed his temple. “All right, baby. I promise I won't interfere;
however, I still want to meet Miss Perri.”

“Fair
enough,” Barrington said. “Thank you. And you will meet her when the time is
right.”

“I
certainly hope we'll meet our grandbaby sooner than that,” Bobby said.

“I
hope so, too, Daddy. But this is a touchy situation and I have to handle Perri
with care.” Reading the question in his mother's eyes, he said, “No, Ma, I
don't want to reconsider and let you take over. This is my decision and I've
made it.”

“So,
how are we supposed to know she's being raised right?” she asked. “What kind of
people does Perri come from, anyway?” she inquired, and there was a small
attitude back in her tone.

“Perri
lost her parents' when she was a little girl. She has two sisters, with her
being the middle child. Her grandparents raised them after her parents' died.”

Linda's
heart finally went out to Perri. “Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine
how rough that must've been on her growing up.”

“She
turned out good in spite of it,” Barrington boasted.

Instead
of telling him that was a matter of opinion, Linda said, “So, son, when do you
think we'll be meeting our little Imani?”

“As
soon as I can make it happen, Ma.” Barrington glanced at his watch. “I'm on my
way over to see her in a few minutes.” He couldn't hide his grin. “She is so
beautiful, Ma.” He nodded. “She looks
just
like me when I was a baby.”

“Then
she's gorgeous,” Linda couldn't help boasting a little herself.

“I
mean, Ma, seriously, Imani has our yellow-green eyes, and her hair is light
brown and pretty straight like Perri’s right now, but I’m pretty sure it’s
gonna eventually turn to golden curls like ours.”

His
family laughed, sharing in his newfound joy and happiness.

“Perri
did good, family.”

Linda
heard the passion in his voice. “You really love that girl, don't you?”

“With
every beat of my heart and every inch of my soul,” he said and grinned like a
peacock. “If I have my way, Perri will be the new Mrs. Knight in the family.”
He was so enthralled in his premade future plans for Perri that he didn’t see
the questioning look his parents exchanged.

Not
sure how she felt about that, Linda asked, “How do you know she's not seeing
someone?”

“She's
not.”

“How
do you know?”

“She's
not,” Barrington insisted, irritated at the thought.

“By
your own admission, Barry, you two haven't been together in a while. You don't
know and you can't take for granted she hasn't met another man, who for all you
know, may even be considering Imani his own child,” Linda pointed out.

Feeling
a stab of jealousy and pure possessiveness wash over him, Barrington announced,
“I know Perri, Ma. And what you described isn't her. As for Imani, there isn't
another man alive who's going to lay claim to
my
daughter. And for that
matter, no other man is going to claim
my
woman, either.” Just thinking
about another man pushing up on Perri set Barrington’s teeth on edge. He knew
he was going to fight anybody, including Perri, to make sure that never
happened.

“She's
not
your
woman,” Linda reminded him.

Ignoring
her statement altogether and mentally dismissing it as rubbish, Barrington
said, “Perri will always be mine, Ma. I know it. And though Perri would like to
think otherwise, in her heart, she knows it, too.”

Linda
wanted to laugh, but said, “And if you're wrong, my stubborn son?”

“I'm
not. I know my woman, Ma; inside and out.” He shook his head. “I’m not wrong
about this,” Barrington insisted, feeling more than a slither of annoyance.

“She
must really be special,” Linda observed knowing her son well.

“Special
and beautiful,” Barrington announced as his heart danced a jig.

They
all laughed.

Linda
looked at her younger son; it wasn’t lost on her he had become awfully quiet in
the last twenty minutes. Something was up with her baby son, too, she could
sense it; however, Crush was much more private about his business than
Barrington. Ever since he learned to talk, every piece of significant
information out of him, she had to extract it from him, which was like a
dentist pulling wisdom teeth. “Crush, you got any kids we don't know of?”

Crush
nearly spit his Coke across the table. “No, Ma.” He shook his head. “I'm simply
not the one.”

His
family had a laugh at his expense.

“Glad
to hear it, son,” Linda said, but are you sure?”

“Ma,”
Crush scratched his head, nervously. “I swear, to my
knowledge
, I ain't
got no kids.”

“So,
who's Journey, Crush? And what does she mean to you?”

“On
that note, I'm gonna excuse myself.” Barrington strode to the door, “Night,
folks.”

“Thanks
a lot, man,” Crush complained.

Barrington
chuckled. “Good luck explaining that relationship, man.” He opened the door.
“Call me later and let me know how it went.”

“Bring
us pictures,” Linda called after Barrington, now completely comfortable with
the knowledge that she'd have to share the spotlight of her oldest son's heart
with the two new leading ladies in his life. The glint in her eyes were trained
on her baby boy, the wisdom of her motherly intuition schooling her to the fact
that he was hiding some deep, dark secrets of his own, that no doubt, he
wouldn’t be willing to share with her; her two boys were different as night and
day, that was for sure. It was pointless she knew, still she announced, “I'm
waiting, Crush?”

Shaking
her head in an effort to return to reality, Perri could feel the hurt and pain
of Barrington's betrayal as if it just happened today. “All right, girl, enough
of the past; it's done and over, time has moved on and, so have you. Keep
going.”

Perri
sat back down at the drawing table and traced the outline of the dresses she’d
designed. In that instant it dawned on her, she needed to come up with a fresh
and new innovative idea for a new line, maybe even two new lines. That was the
spark needed to get the creative juices flowing, and already her mind was
spinning with several different possibilities she knew would generate interest
in at least two different age groups. She was definitely on a roll now and it
was these kinds of rushes that Perri loved and literally thrived on; the
biggest part of the thrill was sitting down and letting her hands take over as
her imagination spoke to her pencil, creating all kinds of beautiful designs as
the model-like caricatures wearing her original designs came to life on her
sketch paper. It was those times Perri felt like she could fly far above the
clouds and soar to new heights, high peaks, and pinnacles never even heard of.
She could truly see herself smooth sailing in uncharted waters underneath the
friendly blue skies.

After
putting Imani down for her afternoon nap, Perri cleaned the house from top to
bottom. She then went into her home office trying her level best to concentrate
on the preliminary sketches she was planning to design for the fall collection
she wanted to use for the grand opening of her new boutique, which she was sure
was going to be up and running by the first of September. She still couldn’t
believe that part of her dream was finally going to come true. Of course, she
still wanted to choreograph the prelude for the opening showcase introducing
her new line called: Imani Collection, which is a tribute to the most important
person in her life.

For
the past year and a half Perri had been saving up every spare penny she could
to use as the down payment towards her new boutique. Six months ago, she’d come
across the land she wanted it built upon; it was three acres and she figured
that was a good size space to upstart her first of many boutiques. Well, that
was her dream, anyway, and she was bound and determined to see it come to pass,
or die trying.

Putting
down her pencil, laying her sketch book to the side, Perri got up, stretched,
and walked over to the bay window looking out on the expanse of her backyard.
The sun was shining bright reminding her she needed to go out and turn on the
sprinklers to water her beautiful pink and white roses that were in full bloom
this season. Her mind strayed back to Barrington, the thought of him made her
body tingle, and though she’d never admit it to him or herself, she figured the
thought was safe in the secret chambers of her mind. Warmth engulfed Perri's
whole body thinking of Barrington. She couldn’t help smiling at the memory of
him with Imani; he was such a handsome and tender man, then again, he always
had been. She made herself recall how bad he'd hurt her, why she was angry at
him now. Two plus two would always add up to four, the analytical part of her
mind reasoned with the logical part of her brain.

“Darn
it,” Perri fussed as the ringing phone jolted her back to her surroundings. She
snatched it up on the fourth ring and barked, “Hello,” into the receiver.

“Did
I catch you at bad time?”

It
was Barrington, his voice was still a smooth baritone, and it still sent
shivers down her spine. It was funny Perri could still read him like a favorite
storyline, sensing the smile in his question. She looked at the clock seeing it
was 2:30 on the dot. Kind of early for a busy musician, she thought, but at
least he did call in plenty of time to make arrangements to see Imani before
the sun went down, which meant she’d probably still have time to get to
Wal-Mart and pick up a few last minute groceries for Sunday’s dinner.

“Perri?”

“Yeah,
Barrington, I’m here. Sorry.”

“For
what?”

Perri
laughed lightly. “I got a little lost in thought for a minute there.”

“Good
ones I hope,” he said.

She
could tell he was smiling. “Depends on the eyes you’re looking through.”

He
laughed. “Is that right?”

“I
guess,” she giggled and didn’t know why.

“It’s
good to know I can still make you blush.”

Perri
rolled her eyes, “I am not blushing,” trying to hide a smile even though she
knew he couldn’t see it.

“Perri,
you’re not trying your level best not to crack a smile right now?” he asked
doubtfully. Unable to help it she laughed out loud. “That’s what I thought.”

“Okay,
so maybe you do still remember some things about me.”

“Trust,
Perri, I remember
everything
about you,” he lightly and seductively
corrected her.

Perri
didn’t know what to say so she just got quiet.

“You
still respond with silence when you don’t know what to say,” he went on to read
her like an old familiar, favorite childhood book. “And right now you’re
fidgeting just to do something with your hands.”

That
comment brought her back to the present. She was playing with the chain on her
wrist. “I am not,” she lied.
How could this man still know me so intimately
after all this time
? She just knew he'd been busy playing the field like
some muskrat, so why was he trying to give her his undivided attention now?

“If
you say so,” he said with a hint of a smirk.

“I
do say so. So there!” Perri heard him snicker. “What do you want, anyway?” Her
guard was back up and higher than ever where he was concerned.

“You
just can’t
allow
yourself to have and
enjoy
a good conversation
with me for more than five minutes, can you?”

“I’m
sure you’re not calling for my conversational skills, so just spit it out, Barrington.”

He
shook his head. “The more things change the more they stay the same, huh,
Perri?”

“For
your information I was having an inspiring moment when you interrupted me.”

“You
knew I’d be calling,” he stated unapologetically, “I told you I would.”

“Whatever.”

Inhaling
a deep breath, tired of going back and forth, Barrington asked, “Is it okay if
I come by to see
my
daughter in a few?”

“What’s
a few, Barrington?”

“I’m
already in the car,” he informed her. “So if you still live in the same place,
I’m about ten minutes away from that area now.”

Ten
minutes
? “You could of have given me a little more notice.”

“You
acted all pressed about it earlier, so what’s the problem now, Perri?”

“I
was not pressed,” she snapped. “I was . . .” She didn’t bother to finish. “You
know what, forget it, Barrington. Yes, I still live in the same place. Ten
minutes is fine; it’s about time for Imani to be waking up for her feeding. If
I go ahead and wake her now we should be finished by the time you get here.”

“I
don’t wanna interrupt her schedule,” he said concerned.

Without
her permission, her heart softened toward him. “It’s not a problem, believe
me.”

“I
do, Perri,” he said honestly. “I’ll just go ahead and stop now for gas that way
it’ll give you at least a good twenty minutes before I get there. Is that
good?”

She
smiled. “That’s fine, G-Man. See you when you get here. Be careful, please.”
She hung up the phone, trying to ignore the familiar feeling in her belly for
the one and only man she'd ever loved—the father of her beloved child. It
wasn't easy.

***

“Perri,
thanks for letting me come by on such short notice,” Barrington said as he
bounced Imani on his knee making her giggle and squeal with delight. “I really
do appreciate it.”

Laughing
at Imani’s reaction to her new playmate slash father, she said, “You’re very
welcome, Barrington.”

He
glanced at her hearing the honesty in her tone. He licked his lips unable to
hide the desire he felt for her. She was still an extremely beautiful woman,
even more so, if that were possible. Barrington reminded himself not to push
too hard, deciding a change of subject was in order. “So you never did answer
my question earlier.”

“Which
was?”

“What
good thoughts you were entertaining when my call interrupted them.”

“I
was just weaving my way through a wave of inspiration, that’s all.”

“Concerning?
Or is that too private a detail for me to know?” he treaded lightly.

She
shrugged. “Not really private. I guess just . . .”

“What?”

Threading
her fingers through the back of her hair, for no apparent reason other than to
have something to do with her hands, she said, “I don’t wanna bore you with the
details.”

Barrington
laughed, catching the hint, and said, “None of my business, in other words.”

“It’s
not that, Barrington.” She watched him lick his luscious lips and her liver
quivered.

“Then
you just don’t care to share, Perri?”

Taking
a deep breath, she sighed loudly. “It was just things, you know.”

Shaking
his head, Barrington told her, “No, I don’t know. But I want to, that is, if
you’ll allow yourself to trust me enough to tell me.”

Without
her permission, she heard the compassion in his voice and saw the pleading in
his eyes.
Dang it,
this man still had the power to affect her good
senses, and she didn’t appreciate it one bit. However, she still didn’t have
the heart to shut him out, at least not concerning this aspect of her life.
Besides, he always was a good listener so maybe talking it out with him will
help her come up with the right design to dazzle everyone, including him, she
thought.
Now why do I care what he thinks
?

“Perri?”

“Hum?”

He
laughed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m
fine. Why?”

“That
must be some daydream because that’s the fifth time I’ve called your name.” He
looked at his daughter, “Isn’t it, Cupcake,” he said as he kissed her on the
forehead. Imani was sure eating up all the attention he was lavishing upon her.

Laughing,
Perri said, “You know what?”

“What’s
that?”

“You’re
spoiling her rotten and you haven’t even been here but a good thirty minutes.
Guess who I’m going to call when she won’t go to sleep and wants to play at 1:30
in the morning, and mommy has to be up at 5:30?”

He
laughed. “I’m sorry.”

“Said
the cat just before he ate the canary,” she couldn’t resist teasing him.

Laughing
again, Barrington said, “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Wouldn’t
mind what?”

“If
you called on me,” he clarified, “whatever the time, I’d come help out with my
daughter.”

She
stared at him dumbfounded, at the same time, she said, “Yeah, right. You can
say that now, Barrington, because it hasn’t happened.”

“I’m
serious, Perri. I told you earlier we’d work this out together and I meant it.
If you remember nothing else about me surely even you can’t deny that I’m a man
of my word, and when I tell you I’m gonna do something I’m gonna do it regardless
of how long it takes me to get around to it.”

He
was right, she couldn’t deny that, but wasn’t about to let him know she
remembered. “Let’s hear the tune you sing if and when I do finally call you in
the wee hours of the night telling you to get your butt over here ASAP because
your
daughter wants to play and I need to sleep.”

They
both laughed at that.

“Well,
baby, there’s nothing to it but to do it.”

“Um-hmm,
keep talking, Mr. Dad.”

“Try
me, Perri,” he grinned. “I dare you.”

“Well,
I would if I could. Fortunately for you, it isn’t gonna happen.”

“What
stops you?”

“Besides
the obvious, or was that a rhetorical question?”

“Which
to you would be what?”

She
looked him dead in the eye. “Barrington, darling, there are some things that
God only equipped a mommy to do.”

Heat
infused Barrington’s chest. “Oh, sorry,” he admitted, “I forgot.”

Perri
laughed. “Well, would you like to borrow mine? It’s an experience you’ll
remember.”

“Oh,
you got jokes, Miss Perri.” He laughed.

“If
you remember nothing else about me I’m sure you recall that I like to play
around a lot.”

His
eyes met and held hers, daring her to look away. “Like I said before, I
remember everything about you, Perri. And I do mean
everything
,” he
reemphasized.

A
wave of excitement rushed through her entire body and she had no idea how to
respond.