If I'd Only Known (Milan Women Series Book 1) (22 page)

He
nodded. “Tell her I asked about her.”

“Will
do,” she promised.

Linda
gave her three men a
get out of here look
, but each pretended not to see
it.

Finally,
Linda just said, “Will you all please excuse us? Perri and I need to talk.”

Perri
immediately tensed up and automatically looked at Barrington for help.

Just
as Barrington was about to come to Perri's aid, Bobby, who'd also caught the
look said, “Baby, aren't we gonna eat now?”

“Dinner
won't be for another hour,” Linda informed them. “All of you are at home, so
you can find something to do in it until dinner is served.”

“Come
on, Daddy, B, the game just got started,” Crush said, heading out. Bobby slid a
glance at Perri as if to say ‘sorry, but it'll be okay’
just before
following his youngest son.

Barrington,
however, remained glued to his spot.

Linda
glared at her son. “You can leave anytime, boy.”

“Ma,
I'd rather stay.”

She
tilted her head. “And when did I ask what you wanted?”

Perri
couldn't help it, she burst into laughter. No wonder Barrington could put up
with her smart mouth. His
mother
had one, too.

Trying
not to laugh, Barrington admitted, “You didn't, ma'am.”

“That's
right, I didn't. Which means what, Barrington?”

He
did laugh then. “Ma, I can't leave,” he insisted.

“I
don't see no chains holding you down.”

Perri
laughed out loud and assured him, “It’s all right, Barrington.” She chuckled
and looked at his mother. “I'm gonna be just fine.” And looking at Linda she
knew it to be true.

Barrington
smiled, visibly relieved. He winked at Perri then said, “I'm out.”

When
he closed the door behind him, Linda returned her attention to Perri. “Honey,
were you scared to be alone with me?”

“A
little,” Perri admitted, and felt bad when her face looked crestfallen.

“Honey,
I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable because you're very welcome in our
home, Perri. That goes for our grandbaby, too.”

“Please
don't apologize, Linda. You didn't do anything wrong. I was nervous from the
moment Barrington informed me we were having dinner with you.”

“
Informed
you?” She looked at Perri sympathetically. “Can I take that to mean my more
than eager son didn't okay this meeting with you beforehand?”

Linda
didn't look too happy with her oldest son and Perri didn't know why, but felt
the need to defend him, “Your son knows me well; he knew I'd say no if he'd
asked me first.”

“And
it doesn't bother you that he accepted on your behalf?”

“No.
Well, it did at first. But now that I'm here,” Perri shrugged, “I'm glad.”

Linda
showed a beautiful white smile. “I'm glad you're here, too, honey.” She crossed
her legs. “However, I must admit, I wasn't too happy with you in the
beginning.”

Perri
nodded but wisely remained quiet.

“Don't
get me wrong, Perri. It wasn't you personally since I didn't know you. It was
the way you went about handling the situation with Imani,” Linda said candidly.
“As a mother, I could never condone you keeping her a secret. As Barrington's
mother, I could never pretend to understand why you wouldn't want him to know
he had a daughter.” Linda smiled at her. “I hope you can understand why I would
feel that way toward you when we were first told about you.”

Perri
nodded. “I understand, Linda. I am sorry for not telling Barrington.”

Linda
smiled. “Apology accepted. Now the worst is behind us.” She extended her right
hand. “I really want us to be friends, Perri; not for Imani or Barrington, but
because I got a good feeling about you and I truly do like you.”

Perri
smiled and accepted her proffered hand. “I'd like that, too, Linda.”

“Great.”
Unable to wait another minute, Linda asked, “When do I meet my grandbaby?”

Perri
laughed. “I'll make sure it happens real soon,” she promised.

***

“Barrington,
will you come away from that door,” Bobby chided his doting son.

Barrington,
who'd had his ear pressed to the door, trying to hear what his mother and Perri
were discussing, finally joined his father and brother in front of the TV.
“Couldn't hear anything anyway,” he complained.

They
laughed at him.

“Ma
is crucial, B,” Crush stated honestly, “but she won't intentionally hurt
Perri.”

“Thanks,
Crush, but I'll wait for the verdict to come in on that one.”

Bobby
laughed out loud. “Crush is right, Barrington. Your mother is harmless. Trust
me, I been married to that dear woman for thirty-two years, her bark is worse
than her bite. You have nothing to worry about. Linda likes Perri. We all do.”

“I'm
not worried about the two of you, Daddy.” Thinking, he paused then said, “Ma,
on the other hand, could mess this up for me without even trying to.”

“Give
her some credit, son. She knows you love Perri. And she's okay with that. As I
said before, she likes Perri.”

“How
can you be so sure, Daddy?” he asked because he was not comfortable leaving his
woman alone with his mother.

“I
know my wife like you know your Perri.”

Barrington
grinned wolfishly. “Enough said, Daddy. Thank you.”

“Not
a problem. By the way, son, she is one stunning woman.”

“Yeah,
she is.”

“Do
you think she'll let us meet Imani soon?”

“I'll
make sure it happens soon, Daddy.”

Tossing
the phone in his direction, Crush commanded, “Call Journey.”

Barrington
wrinkled his nose. “Why?”

“Tell
her you're coming after Imani. Invite her to have dinner with us.”

Exchanging
curious looks with his father after a long stretch of quietness, Barrington
said, “You not slick, man. I know what you're doing, Crush. Don't use my
daughter to get to Journey.”

“Imani
is my niece, man. I'm not using her; I really want to meet her. As for
Journey,” Crush shrugged, nonchalantly saying, “I don't need you to get to
her.”

“So,”
Barrington accused, “you are trying to score points with her.”

“No,
B, I'm not. Perri said Journey was babysitting Imani. It would be rude
not
to invite her to come along. That's all.”

Bobby
gave his youngest son a cautious look, but Barrington also noticed the amber of
hope glinted in his eyes. There was no way he could
not
try to make the
meeting happen tonight. Though he knew Perri might not agree, he heard himself
say, “Okay,” and dialed Journey's number.

***

Exactly
an hour later, Linda and Perri emerged from the living room. “Let's eat, boys,”
Linda announced, holding Perri's hand as they joined them in the family room.
“Where's Crush?”

“Right
here,” Crush announced, as he along with Journey and Imani entered.

“Hey,
Journey.” Perri was surprised to see her and Imani, but glad just the same.

“Hey,
Perri,” Journey greeted nervously, not knowing what to expect next..

She
smiled and walked toward her, easing a curious eyed Imani from her arms. Perri
kissed her cheek, cradling her to her chest feeling of all things, her breast
engorged, and knew she had to let down soon, or risk soaking her blouse. “How's
mommy's baby girl?” Imani grinned and Perri's heart melted. “Thank you,” she
mouthed to Journey, who gave her a relieved smile.

When
Perri turned to introduce Imani to her new family, her heart broke, seeing
tears in both Linda and Bobby's eyes. She looked at Barrington, who immediately
joined her side, placing his arm around her trembling shoulders. “Bobby, Linda,
meet your granddaughter, Imani.”

Linda
covered her mouth with both hands, tears falling from her eyes. Bobby placed a
protective arm around her, giving her an affectionate squeeze, tears falling
from his eyes.

Perri
gazed up at Barrington and at his nod, moved toward his parents. “Would you
like to hold her?” she offered.

Linda
could only nod.

Perri
gently placed Imani in her eager arms and crossed back to where Barrington
stood. He hugged her from behind as they watched the Hallmark moment between
grandparents and granddaughter. Perri glanced at Journey and Crush, who both
had tears in their eyes as well. And Crush's arm was intimately encircled
around Journey's waist. If it hadn't been such a touching moment she would have
commented. Instead, she leaned back against Barrington, reveling in his male
strength. He lowered his head, resting between her neck and shoulder blade. Perri
felt the moisture on his cheek and knew he was crying, which only caused more
tears to spring from her eyes.

Happiness
was all in that room.

“So
how long you gonna make that boy beg, Sugarplum?” Mattie inquired after hearing
all about Barrington’s reappearance into her granddaughter’s life.

“I’m
not making him do anything. He can stop making a fool of himself any time he
wants.”

“Well,
now, that’s a strong accusation and I don’t know if Barrington could be coined
a fool for what he’s trying to go about doing. And what he wants is to marry
you, be a father to his child, right?”

“That’s
what he said. God only knows with him; I for one don’t trust a word that comes
out of his mouth. And I told him so.”

“I’m
sure you did. What I don’t know, Sugarplum, is why you won’t give him the
benefit of the doubt.”

“For
what, Madear?” she said, annoyed. “All he’ll do is take advantage of the
situation.”

“Has
he ever hit you?”

“No,
Barrington’s never raised a hand to me. I didn’t say he was crazy.”

“He
ever cheated on you in the past?”

Perri
opened her mouth to speak.

Mattie
raised her hand, shushing her granddaughter. “I’m not talking about the love
affair he has going on with his music because you knew his chosen career when
you met him so that’s neither here nor there at the moment.”

“If
you say so, but I don’t agree.”

Ignoring
her comment, Mattie asked, “Has he ever mistreated you?”

“Well,
he walked out on me, didn’t he?” she said matter of fact. “But according to you
that’s not important either, huh?”

“Wait
a minute now, Sugarplum, there’s two sides to every story. And then there’s the
truth, which is absolute. I’ve heard your side, but I’ve yet to hear what
Barrington has to say. However, I’m more than sure it won’t be the same version
as yours.”

Perri
huffed, “And that surprises you?”

“To
be honest, yes it does.”

“I
don’t know why.”

“He
asked you to marry him to give Imani a complete family.”

“Like
I said he can’t be trusted. He just wants the upper hand that’s all that is.”

Mattie
grunted, “Don’t act like you not enjoying his attention. I was young once so I
know better. He’s putting on a mighty fine show, too, I might add.”

“That’s
his problem. I made it clear where I stand and he knows it’s not with him.”

“Which
I do not understand; that’s a mighty fine man, girl. And I don’t mean just his
looks.”

“So
what? What are you saying?”

“Mmm
. . . mmm, granddaughter of mine, tell it to your head ‘cause your heart isn’t
listening.”

Perri
immediately denied her grandmother’s accusation, “My heart doesn’t feel
anything even remotely close to warm for him. Barrington doused that fire a
long time ago.”

“Honey
child, please,” Mattie shook her head. “As long as there’s a spark, the flames
can still be rekindled. You need to be honest and ask yourself if you willing
to let Barrington light your fire again.”

“Madear,
please,” Perri complained. “Will you let me handle this?”

Mattie
snorted. “I would be glad to, Perri, if you were actually doing something to
remedy the sticky situation that, by the way, you of your own free will placed
yourself into by not telling him the truth from the start, and that’s precisely
why Imani looks exactly like her daddy. Your sins will find you out because
liars always get caught. It would have been one thing, Sugarplum, if you’d up
and moved to another state, but you stayed right here in your home town and had
the nerve to think your dirty secret would stay buried and Barrington wouldn’t
find out about your deliberate deception.

“Now,
a sane person could look at that and say deep down you wanted him to find out
even if you too stubborn to admit it. But here you sit still judging him for
going on with his life, pursuing his career when, by not accepting his phone
calls, refusing to open his letters, not listening to any message he'd tried to
get word to you through Journey, you made it clear you didn’t want to be a part
of his world. I don’t know what you were expecting, Sugarplum. Everybody needs
a dream mate; a partner willing to support, nurture and help achieve dreams
pursued. To do that you got to wise up where Imani’s daddy is concerned. Stop
making him walk a tightrope, punishing him for past sins. Remember, Sugarplum,
mistakes are made to be forgiven, but you must be willing.”

“Madear,
you haven’t even met Barrington. Why are you taking his side against me?”

“He
wants to take responsibility for his daughter, but you won’t let him. How’s him
stepping up to the plate hurting you? The fact of the matter is it isn’t. So
your pride is bruised because he wants to come through for the both of you. Seems
to me, as the father of your child, you’d want him to be that kind of man. God
knows the worlds full of single mothers who wish deadbeat fathers would take
half the interest in their children as Barrington’s taken in Imani.”

The
older woman softened her tone, seeing tears in her granddaughter’s eyes. That
child always was precious to her heart; she was so fragile with her feelings.
However, this time, Mattie refused to let Perri off the hook with a soft tap on
the behind when she could clearly see concerning this here situation her
granddaughter needed a swift kick in the behind, though she knew that, too,
would be met with stubborn, rebellious pride, pure and simple.

“I'm
scared, Madear,” Perri confessed on a sob.

Sitting
at the table, taking her granddaughter's hand within hers, Mattie said, “What
are you afraid of, child?”

“Losing
my daughter, to
him
,” she whispered and sniffed.

“What
kind of foolishness are you talking, Perri Tania Milan?”

Perri
didn’t even know. She finally met her grandmother’s probing gaze, the love
shone in her eyes granting her the courage to say what she was feeling. “I've
never had to share my daughter, Madear. I don't want to share her now, either.
I can’t even make it matter to me that Barrington's her father. I've been with
her the longest. She doesn't know him,” she complained, though she knew it was
unfair since she never told Barrington he was going to be a daddy in the first
place. But doggone it, he knew they didn't use protection the last time they
made love, so he at least knew it was a possibility she might be pregnant.

“Sugarplum,
I adore you, but right now, I hate your selfish attitude,” Mattie firmly stated
with a disdainful shake of her head, unable to wrap her brain around where her
granddaughter was coming from. As if divining the strength to ask, she said,
“Exactly what is it you think Barrington is gonna do to Imani other than bond
with her? And since she is his biological daughter, that's completely
understandable,” Mattie felt the need to say in Barrington's defense.

Perri
swiped bitterly at the tears streaking her face. “And if he decides to take her
from me?”

“Perri,
the only thing I can see that man taking is you in his arms and kissing the
foolishness out of you.” Mattie laughed at her own metaphor.

“I’m
never letting that happen.”

“Once
upon a time, you probably thought that very same thing.”

“No,
Madear, I didn't. If I had I wouldn't be in this predicament now.”

“No,
you wouldn't,” Mattie agreed. “If you had, by now, you'd be married to him because
your curiosity, not to mention hormones, would have gotten the best of you,”
she supposed with knowing smile.

Perri
snorted. Then denied her summation altogether, telling her, “I don't possess a
romantic bone in my body for the man now.”

“Girl,
I'm too old not to see through your excuses for exactly what they are; a
protective covering to shield your heart from once again being broken by the
infamous yet unforgettable Barrington, the one and only love of your life romantically
speaking. 

Perri
didn't care what she said, Madear didn't have a clue. “I don't ever plan on
falling in love with
that
man again.”

Mattie
laughed. “Then it's a good thing you don't have far to fall since
that
man never left his space in your heart.”

“You're
so wrong, Madear.”

“Oh,
I think not, Sugarplum.

“Then
good thing for me it only matters what I think.”  

Mattie
took a few moments of silence to observe her granddaughter. She couldn't help
smiling inwardly. Of all her girls Perri was by far the most stubborn. It was
the kind of mental stubbornness that made you wanna wring her neck and love her
for life at the same time. “I love you, baby.” She shook her head firmly. “But
I will not sit by and silently watch you mess up a good thing for both you and
your beautiful daughter. And a family is a beautiful thing; the way God
intended it to be.”

“Imani
is his family. I'm not part of the package.”

“He
say he want
y'all
to be a family.”

“I
know what he said.”

“Perri,
just because you put garbage in a scented trash bag doesn’t make it not stink;
garbage is trash and it all stinks eventually. Your excuses are nothing more
than an overload of horse manure and it’s stinking up your ability to judge the
situation with Barrington fairly. You not pushing that boy away because you
can; you’re pushing him away because you’re scared that if you allow him back
into your life he might eventually decide to walk back out of it again.”

“Madear,
what are you trying to tell me?”

Baby,
knowing something does nothing to fix it. You can know something all day long,
but until you put it into practice, it's not gonna do you any good. So what,
you know what Barrington
said
as far as his reason for wanting to make a
permanent life with you and Imani? The birds know to get to their next
destination they gotta fly, but if they don't lift their wings and flap. Guess
what? They're not gonna be at the next location. Now, you think about that.”

Perri
shook her head. “You’re not saying what it sounds like, Madear . . .”

“Marry
him, Sugarplum. Let Barrington be a man for your daughter and you. You hear me?”