Just Breathe (19 page)
Authors: Heather Allen
She swims to the edge of the field of grasses and I follow. She guides us to a place where there are rocks and a coral bed. I stop and spot a rock about the size of my hand in the sand. I close my eyes and focus on lifting it. I open my eyes quickly to see if I am making anything happen. It seems to be wiggling but hasn’t lifted yet. I focus on just the rock and feel the water around me. It seems to give me more energy. The rock is really wiggling and I can see it’s a whole lot bigger than I originally thought. I thrust my hands out in front of me as if trying to lift an imaginary object. Suddenly the rock is free and is actually the size of a small boulder. Amber looks at me with a surprised look and uses her hand to lower my arms. As she does this, the rock lowers back into the sand.
She gasps, “Amazing, I am beginning to think there is more to you than we think.”
I frown, “What does that mean?”
She tells me, “Most of us can move small objects with our minds but you used your arms, and that rock was giant.” I suddenly feel exhausted.
She nods at me, “Let’s get you some rest.”
I feel like all I’ve done is sleep since I’ve been here, how can I be this tired. I wonder if mermaids sleep a lot. Maybe that’s why Gam-aw left, I chuckle to myself at my own dumb joke. Maybe I’m delirious too.
We swim back to the dwelling for my third shut eye since I’ve been here.
I find myself back in the cave from before but Jack isn’t sleeping this time. He is waiting for me, or so it seems. I turn around and the blue in his eyes makes me stand frozen. He smiles and I feel warmth. He wraps his arms around me, electricity and our lips touch lightly. I can’t let go of him. Then we hear a noise. My heart skips a beat and we’re running. My heart is racing. Jack grabs my hand and we jump. I brace myself for the cold water I know is coming, then I feel nothing.
I wake up slowly this time and glance around. I’m in the room I slept in before, with the blue blanket, but I’m not surrounded by air as before. I am still surrounded by water. I look down and am shocked to see that I still have my mermaid fin. I don’t think I will ever get used to this. It isn’t hard and rough as you would think like a fish. It is smooth and soft, the exact opposite of what it looks like. And strong, I am amazed at the strength I have. My legs could never have carried me as fast as this fin can.
I get out of bed and swim out into the hall. I peek into the room beside mine and see that Amber is still sleeping. I head for the kitchen and find an apple. I finish my meager snack and head to the largest room. Once there though, I decide to keep going and swim out the door. I remember Amber told me a low profile is necessary so I decide to keep to myself. I’ve been here a full day and still don’t know anything about the city. I want to explore. Once out the door I turn right. Sprawling out in front of me are the most incredible structures I have ever seen. Just imagine the buildings of New York City and double their size. Add amazing colors and rounded edges. The unreal part of it all as I swim around wandering, is that we must be hundreds of miles down under the surface of the water. These buildings stretch so far up into the sea. They look like they could touch the sky beyond the surface.
As I swim, I notice all the structures are situated parallel to each other but all the roads, if they call them that, point toward the same direction. I swim through them. It almost seems as if the roads mimic the spokes of a bicycle. I decide to turn down one and swim in the direction they all seen to point. After swimming for about twenty minutes, I notice a different structure coming into view. It has columns and points jetting out in all directions on top. I swim closer and notice it is very large, but nothing in comparison to some of the other structures. It almost resembles a sort of castle on land. It glimmers in different hues of blue and white as the water sways around it. Then I see something white surrounding it, almost resembling a gate just very thin almost transparent. From far away, it wouldn’t even have been noticeable. When I am about twenty feet away, I see two mermen gliding through the water on the other side of the gate, pacing back and forth. I suddenly realize, this must be where Seamus and Metea live. My heart speeds up as I realize, I shouldn’t be here because Amber said he couldn’t know I am here.
I quickly turn around and start swimming back down the road I came. After about ten minutes I stop because nothing looks familiar. I am not recognizing anything from swimming down this road before. I am completely lost. I must have gotten turned around. I head back toward the castle.
Once there I realize, duh, I’m in the sea, I can just swim up and see where I am. I start to swim up glancing back down, occasionally. The structures are surrounding me with their immense size. I glance back toward the castle and stop. From this view I can see I was totally right about the bike spokes. The castle has about forty of those roads heading out in all directions. I realize also that even from this vantage, there is still no way I will be able to find my way back to Amber’s. All the roads turn in different directions and connect in various angles after branching out from the castle. I’m stumped at this point. Amber is going to be so worried and angry.
I swim a little higher and see if it helps. The blue sky beyond the water pulls me toward it. The sky is brighter, the higher I ascend. Looking around, I find I’ve passed the highest point of the highest structure. About a half of a mile from the surface and suddenly I hit something. I try to swim higher and I’m thrown backward. It’s almost as if there is an invisible wall between me and the surface of the water. Shocked, I swim further and try to go up again. After swimming parallel to the surface for what seems like an hour, I try to swim for the surface again and I’m thrown back. This is starting to worry me, big time. Am I to never see the sun again? I look back down at the city, which from this view looks tiny, like one of my brother’s little model cities for his matchbox cars when he was little. This thought makes my heart ache. If I can never surface, then I will definitely never see my family again. I never realized how final it would all be. Feeling scared now and I realize, truly alone.
As I swim around debating what to do, I glance down and see two figures swimming in my direction. Inconspicuous must not have worked. There is nothing near to use to defend myself. Then I remember the fish thing I did earlier in the day. I close my eyes and imagine immense amounts of fish swimming all around me. The familiar pin pricks tingle down my arms. I open my eyes and thousands of silver fish are swimming all around me and the two figures coming closer. I turn around the other way and swim as fast as I can. When I glance back again, the two figures are still stuck in the middle of the fish. I start to swim back down, thinking the only person who can help now, is Amber.
Suddenly, someone else is swimming towards me. Panic settles over me, the fish thing will only work so many times. As the person gets closer, the color purple catches my eye and relief washes through me. She gets closer and green flashes over her eyes with a very large frown.
Ten feet away she starts in on me, “Ever, I have been going crazy trying to find you. You can’t just go wandering around. You might get caught and believe it or not, that will get me into a lot of trouble. Do you realize they could have seen you up here? Why are you up here, anyway?”
Then she spots the school of fish surrounding the two mermen far behind me and asks, “Did you do that?” I nod and wince, waiting for her to finish.
She goes on, “Oh great, now someone knows you are here.”
I ignore her anger and ask, “Why can’t I swim to the surface, it’s almost as if there is an invisible wall blocking me from getting to the surface.”
Her eyes cloud over and she says simply, “You chose the sea.”
I’m getting very angry now, “That doesn’t mean I never want to see the sun again.”
She shakes her head sadly, “I told you Seamus made laws, forbidding land and sea from meeting, this is part of it.”
All I can do is swim around angrily, what I really want to do is throw something. “That is so….not fair…are we prisoners or something…no one told me this…part…”
She reminds me, “You were supposed to stay on land, remember?”
I start to swim back down into the depths. Amber places her hand on my shoulder but I shrug it off. She zips in front of me and I follow her all the way back to her dwelling. We don’t speak a word the whole way. I’m so beyond mad. I made this choice for someone, who I don’t even know if I will ever see again. I gave up my family, friends and ultimately pretty decent life for what. I’m not sure I know anymore. I’m beginning to think I made a terrible mistake and I can’t take it back.
Back at Amber’s dwelling I ask, “Can I have air?”
She looks sadly at me and wills the water away. I will legs and land on the floor with a thud.
She starts, “I’m sorry…”
I don’t let her finish, I swim to the room with the blue blanket and close the door. I am so disgusted with myself. I just can’t talk to her right now. Curling up with the blanket, my mind drifts thinking about Jack. We haven’t known each other, but for maybe a month and I gave up everything for him. I must be crazy, making that kind of sacrifice. My heart flutters, remembering how he makes me feel. The electricity and warmth we feel, when we're together. He makes me feel so complete. That’s why this choice was so easy to make. Loving him is worth this I decide and I doze off
I wake feeling refreshed and charged for the decision I made, before falling asleep. First things first though, my stomach is famished. While walking to the kitchen, I realize that legs actually feel awkward now that I’ve been here a little while. Amber is making more fish.
I ask her, “Is this all you eat?”
She answers, “We usually don’t cook it, you know sushi, but I thought you would need to ease into that part.”
Oh great more news, raw fish, yuck!
When we finish eating, I tell her, “Amber I made this choice for one reason and one reason only, Jack. I know you tell me he has a job and we aren’t supposed to be together and all of that but truly, I don’t care.”
She shakes her head with cloudy eyes and starts to say something but I cut her off, “I was not born here, I have no obligation to anything concerning the laws of the sea. My only focus is Jack. I’ve been working out a plan.”
She hesitates and grins at this, “You are so stubborn, aren’t you?”
Nodding, “My family will attest to that. The first part of my plan is finding a way through that invisible barrier keeping us from the surface, because I know Jack is on land.”
She looks at me with a sly grin, “Well consider your first part done. That was easy. What’s next?”
I’m confused, “What do you mean, do you know how to get through?”
She nods, “Of course, I can get through, remember I’m a guide.” Oh, that part slipped my mind.
I ask, “You can get through but can I, if I am with you?”
She smiles and says, “As long as you are with me, yes.”
Then she frowns and asks, “How do you know Jack is on land?”
“Well, I have had this same recurring dream since I met him. Most recently, a new part has been showing in the dream. Jack in a cave.”
She looks down and shakes her head.