Just Breathe (26 page)

I decide to call the bestie and find out if she wants to hang out. But first I check my email for anything not junk. I should have known, an email this morning from Gabbi asking to check out a movie. I get on the phone and dial her number. As it’s ringing I get a text. It’s from Jack, which means he’s on land, uh oh.

Gabbi answers, “Hi girl, I was about to call you. You want to check out a chick flick?”

I laugh, “I am so ready for a chick flick today, name the time and place.”

There are two theaters in our humble little town. One is older than the other and your feet tend to stick to the floor. This one is closer to my house and the other is closer to Gabbi’s. I prefer the one that is newer and farther away. Gabbi picks the right one and tells me she’ll see me at one. After I get off, I check the text from Jack:

Ever, We need to talk!

Why can’t I just have one day with no talking?
I decide to let the text go. If he wants to talk that bad, I’m sure he’ll find me. I know I have a complete attitude turn around from twenty-four hours ago, but in light of recent new information, I have a lot to think about; which is exactly the opposite of what I feel like doing.

I have a couple of hours to kill, so I leave a note and take off for the pool. Unfortunately, it’s a little crowded. Fortunately, the lap pool has some spots. The season is starting in less than a month, so I focus, speed and endurance. I loose myself and focus only on the water and swimming. By the time I am finished there is a tiny audience of friends who work at the pool, commenting on how I’m gonna rock it this season.
Oh, if they only knew.

As I pull into my driveway, I notice the yellow car down the road.
Oh great, here we go
. I have pushed this conversation out of my head all day. I don’t have the slightest clue how to talk to Jack about this without completely betraying him. I get out of the jeep and head for the porch. He’s sitting on the swing waiting for me. As I climb the steps, I notice his easy smile and his eyes. The blue rolls over and he gets up to greet me.

Before I can say anything, I am in his arms and feel the electricity coursing through me. I look up as our lips meet gently. We part and I linger, not wanting to face what I have to do.

He looks down into my eyes and smiles, “I missed you.”

This is going to be so hard. I decide to avoid the subject, just a little while longer and enjoy these moments together. We sit on the swing and just hold each other. I’m content to stay like this. Then he breaks my contentment.  “So, how did you get away?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I picked the lock.”

He tells me, “Amber said you have some new wills, she has never seen before.”

I nod trying so hard not to elaborate. He seems to get the hint that I don’t want to talk about it.   Before he can say anything else that will make me tell him everything, I say, “So I have a date with Gabbi later, we’re going to see some chick flick.”

He smiles, “Good, I think you need that right now.”

I nod my head and look straight ahead.

He puts his hand under my chin and turns my head to look into his eyes, green.
Here it comes.

“Ever, what exactly happened with the Erebus? Why did they let you go?”

I shake my head, “I really don’t know why they let us go. I didn’t think they did, but maybe…I guess they did, it was too easy and no one came after us.”

I look away and whisper, “Jack, I met Jaspen while I was there.”

I turn to look into his eyes to see if he is surprised or if he knows anything. He looks genuinely surprised and curious.

I stumble over my next words, “He told me… he is…um…I’m so sorry… my grandfather.”

Jack looks at me with unbelieving eyes and starts shaking his head. Now I know that he didn’t know and wasn’t keeping it from me.

He starts, “No…that can’t…there is no way.”

I nod, “I know I had the same reaction, but it actually makes sense. My grandmother was pregnant with my mom when she left the sea.”

He gets up and starts pacing across the porch. I think he is working out the logistics of it all. He stops and looks at me. I can see the pain in his face. All I want to do is take it back and put my arms around him, but he deserves to know. He starts pacing again. I just sit there wishing I could curl up in a ball and wait for the next question, I know is coming.

He crouches down and takes my hands in his, “Do you realize what this means?”

I nod, “Yes, it’s all I’ve been able to think about all day.”

He looks like he is in so much pain. He looks afraid to ask the next question but he does, “What are you going to do, are you considering…?” He leaves the second part unfinished.

I squeeze his hands and say, “I am considering… everything.”

He just nods and winces like he was afraid that would be my answer.

He gets up suddenly and says, “I need to go.”

I stand up and put my arms around his neck not letting him go. I look deep into his eyes and tell him, “Jack, I love you with all of my heart and everything that I am.” He nods and turns, breaking my grasp. I suddenly feel so empty, watching him walk down the road towards his car.

***

That night I am lying in bed turning all possibilities over in my mind. I don’t see a way in which all of this can end well. I so want to just side with the Lior and be done with it all. That is the side that Jack believes so passionately in after all. Then my voice of reason comes and reminds me that no one should have their freedoms taken away and I am the only one to help these people who are trying to make life different.

I decide to avoid the whole situation for a couple of days and see if Jack comes back to talk. I seriously doubt he will. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if he never talks to me again. Of course my heart breaks in half at the mere thought of this. How can I even breathe without him? But knowing what he stands for makes me so angry. Why do things always have to be so difficult?

I hear a knock on the door and James peeks around the door apprehensively.

I greet him, “Hey you, come in." He shuffles over to my bed with his hands in his pockets and sits on the edge as I sit up. He looks as lost in thought as I feel.

He asks me, “So what exactly did I do to you, before you left?”

I look at him confused, “What are you talking about?”

He shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts, “I remember bits and pieces and some of the things I remember saying to you, don’t make any sense.”

I brush him off, apparently his memory wasn’t erased completely when Jaspen sabotaged him.

“Hey, you were fine, just a typical sixteen year old boy, I guess.”

I smile for good measure.

He just looks down to the floor.

I ask, “Is something else bothering you?”

He looks at me a little uneasy, “Um yeah, something weird is happening to me.”

I frown as he takes his hands out of his pockets and turns them over, palms up. There are lights coming from his fingers. My mouth drops open and before I can say anything, he gets up suddenly and stuffs his hands back in his pockets.

“Sorry I bothered you, I know, freak right.”

Wow where is Jack when I need him. I shake my head and tell him “No, hey come back and sit down.” I pat the bed beside me. He looks uneasy but sits back down.

I say carefully, “You are definitely not a freak. You said weird things, is there anything else, besides your hands?”

He looks at me and I can tell already.

“Well sometimes I can see yellow flecks creep in my eyes when I look in the mirror.”

I know he is freaked but so am I, but not exactly for the same reasons. I am dumbfounded. What am I supposed to tell him?
You are turning into a merman, oh but that’s not all, an evil one at that. Oh yeah plus, it’s not supposed to happen to you at least until you turn eighteen.

But I actually say, “Hey, it looks to me like you’re going through that boy change thingy.”

He shakes his head, “Ever, get real, that happened a long time ago.”

I look away, embarrassing moment. I decide to just go with it, if he is actually changing and against any choice, then he has a right to know something. I turn over my hands and ‘will’ the lights. They are a little brighter than the last time I ‘willed’ them. It’s one thing that I can travel but this one seems like the easiest and I can’t get it, whatever. His eyebrows go up when he sees my hands.

He looks up and meets my eyes asking, “What does this mean?’

I close my eyes to gather my thoughts, how much do I tell him? I go with, “Well, it’s kind of a family trait but only you, me and Gam-aw have it.” I add, “Mom and Dad, don’t even know about it.”

He looks at me unbelieving and asks, “Really?”

I nod.

“You can call her if you want.”
Which is exactly what I intend to do
.

He sits there for a while not saying anything. I let him mull it over. It’s a lot to digest and he doesn’t even know the real story.

He gets up suddenly and smiles a half smile, “Thanks for the talk, I appreciate it.”He heads for the door.

I call to him, “James?"

He turns.

I remind him, “Remember, mom and dad don’t know and if you need to talk some more, I’m here.”

He nods and leaves closing my door behind him. I immediately get on my cell and dial Gam-aw.

She answers on the second ring, “Hi Ever, how is everything?” That’s a loaded question if I ever heard one.

I tell her, “When I saw Jaspen, he told me he sabotaged James, to influence my decision but he must not have erased his memory fully. He came in to see me tonight, he remembers bits and pieces from before but not everything.”

I continue, “His hands are lighting up and there are flecks of yellow in his eyes. Gam-aw he was totally freaked out. And I’m starting to get freaked out too.”

She asks calmly, “What did you tell him?”

“I showed him my hands and told him it was a family trait that only you, me, and him have.”

She asks, “Anything else showing up?”

I tell her, “Nothing yet, why is this happening to him? I thought he wouldn’t have the choice until he turns eighteen.”

She agrees, “This shouldn’t be happening to him, but remember Ever, I told you that you would affect the balance with your choice. Maybe things are already changing.”

I tell her, “Gam-aw I haven’t gone back yet, nor have I made any decisions.”

She agrees, “Well, either things have started to change or maybe he is an exception to the laws because of his lineage. You will need to keep an eye on him, if he changes, he will have a lot of questions and you need to be the one to answer them.”
Feeling even more overwhelmed now
.

“Thank you Gam-aw.”

She adds, “Also Ever, if he changes, you won’t be the most powerful. It will be James.”

I just stare at the wall absorbing this.

***

The next week flies by and I let it. My classes drone on and I am happy now for the monotonous routine. Jack doesn’t show to any classes all week, nor do I hear from him. I expected this but it still hurts everyday when I sit next to those empty seats.

James comes to my room a couple of times during the week to tell me about some odd things that happened at school. In the beginning of the week he asked a girl out on a date and she said yes. Which I have to say is normal boy behavior, but I am guessing he influenced her a little without knowing it. The second was a little more obvious. He was mad at a teacher and wished a book would close while she was reading it and it did. I decide that if this continues, I will have a real talk with him next week. Helping James will be the perfect distraction for me.