Just Breathe (30 page)

She laughs, “I told him I needed some girl time, he’s meeting us here.”

“Oh.”

She pulls on me, “Come on Ever, stop fighting me. You are destined for fun tonight.”

I smirk. 
Here goes.

Jamie answers the door and I can tell she is genuinely happy to see us. We give hugs, Gabbi relinquishes her keys and we follow Jamie through to the backyard. The hallway and kitchen are exactly as I remember them, pictures through the years of Jamie, her sister and brothers, lining the hallways. The kitchen is expansive with beautiful marble counters and hardwood floors. The cabinets stretch to the ceiling. I remember coming for a visit in fifth grade thinking how in the world anyone could get anything off the top shelf in those cabinets. Jamie just laughed at me.

As we step off the step into the backyard I can see that half the school is here. The knots keep coming. Gabbi lets me go and walks away for a minute. I feel a hand under my elbow so I turn toward it and find myself face to face with Michael.

He leans over to my ear and tells me, “Ever, you look great tonight.

I can smell beer on his breath.

I half smile uncomfortably and tell him, “Thank you.”

He lets go of my elbow and spots a friend across the yard, so he walks away.

Right now the good thing is that I am so numb.
Maybe I can do this.

Gabbi steps up to me and hands me a cup with very little liquid in it. I look at her questioningly.

She tells me, “It’s a shot, liquid courage, drink up, you need to loosen up.”

I clink cups with her and we down it together.

I hand her the cup and tell her,”Hey that was good, let’s do another.”

She raises her eyebrows. I assure her, “Seriously, I can do another.”

She turns to get more. I stand there with my arms crossed, alone and uncomfortable again. As I scan the patio, I notice most of the people from our little group. I spot Reggie as he approaches Gabbi at the table with all the drinks. She looks so happy to see him. I am so happy that she finally found someone she can love. This brings me to think of Jack and I scan the crowd with a tiny bit of hope. He’s not here, but I already knew he wouldn’t be.

Gabbi crosses the room and hands me my second shot. Reggie joins in this time.

We clink and I toast, “To Gabbi, the best.”

She tells me, “I need to find a bathroom. Will you be alright?”

I nod to assure her. She and Reggie turn in the other direction. I decide I need more to drink. I like this warmth spreading through me caused by the shots. It reminds me of Jack and the warmth I feel when he’s near. I run into Sasha at the keg and we talk for a while. She asks about Jack every time I see her, I wish she wouldn’t do that.

***

A couple of hours pass and I find myself on a couch talking to Jason Varner from my huge blow off and the incident at Julia’s party. I reason, why not, he obviously likes me and maybe I just need someone…different. He keeps filling my cup for me and I am thankful, not to have to get up.

As he sits next to me, I notice his hand on my leg but I can’t get a clear thought to tell him to move it. The warmth emanating from it feels like the warmth I am craving.

He leans over near my ear, “Do you know how sexy you look tonight?”

I shake my head out of annoyance.

His hand moves up my leg and he tells me, “You are such a tease.”

Then he plants his dry lips over mine. I realize what is happening and I try to push him away but he’s so heavy, leaning against me. I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe. Then I hear a voice that I think I recognize but I can’t quite place.

I gasp towards it and I hear it again, louder this time, “Hey, Ever is that you?”

The voice, I think I recognize from one of my classes, I can’t remember which one, the class or the boy.

Then he says to Jason, “Hey friend, I think Ever needs some fresh air.”

Jason backs away and looks away from me toward the voice. I look down and push his hand off of my thigh.

“Well, I’m not your friend and Ever is fine, get lost.”

He attempts to put his arm around me but I shrug it off. I sloppily push myself up off the couch.

I stumble in the direction of the voice, “Um, actually fresh air would be nice.”

I trip on these damn shoes Gabbi made me wear, but he catches me. He rights me and grabs my hand. I follow, what’s his name again? He leads us to the backyard. I rack my brain I know I’ve seen him before but...

Once we are outside he turns and tells me, “I hope I wasn’t overstepping or anything. You didn’t look comfortable with the… ah… the situation.”

I shake my head, “Alex!” I exclaim.

He smiles easily, “Yes, that’s me.”

I tell him, “Oh yeah, um… thank you for that.”

He asks, “So are you here by yourself?”

I shake my head trying to remember how I got to the party. I run my hand through my hair trying to remember. Oh yeah, Gabbi.

I tell him, “My friend Gabbi brought me, she… she should be around here somewhere.”

“I can stay with you until you find her.”

I shake my head about to tell him no, then I spot Jason coming out the door onto the patio. He looks furious.

On second thought, I nod and say, “Thank you, I think she might be in the house, I don’t see her out here.”

He leads me through the house and we finally find Gabbi in the kitchen deep in conversation with Reggie and Jamie. She glances at me, then at Alex.

She has a concerned look on her face and she rushes to meet us, “Hey Ever, I was looking for you a little while ago, where have you been?”

I shrug and glance at Alex.

He tells her, “I think she needs to go home.”

Gabbi nods her head and agrees. She turns to Reggie to tell him we are leaving.

She looks at Alex, “Thanks for finding her.”

I feel like I’m in a bubble, just where I want to be right now. Their voices seem muffled and I think, why are they talking about me like I’m a child or something? The next thing I know Gabbi is holding my hand pulling me through the crowd toward the front of the house.

When she gets me in the car I ask her, “You know what my secret is?”

She asks absentmindedly, “What secret?”

I admit, “Well I have a secret and it’s…I’m a mermaid and there is a whole world under the sea.”

She nods her head and tells me, “Okay Ever, whatever you say.”

I put my hand on her arm and make her glance my way, “Actually, I am telling the truth. Jack isn’t here because he lives there and I have to make a giant decision that will decide the fate of all those people and I'm so....”

I trail off.

My eyelids start to close.

***

I wake as the sun shines through the blinds in my window. Ugh, who turned the light on? My head is pounding. I try to remember the night before. I can remember bits and pieces. I remember Alex’s face for some reason and I remember Jason. Oh no, Jason. It’s starting to come back to me now. Can I just go and bury myself now. It’s going to be all over school…I crawl out of bed and head for the bathroom. I desperately need some aspirin.

As I crawl back into bed, my phone rings

I check, it’s Gabbi, “Hello.”

I glance at the clock, eleven o’clock. “Hey you, are you up yet?”

I answer, “I just got up, holy headache.”

She giggles, “Yeah, you were pretty over the top last night.”

I ask, ‘Did I do anything stupid that I might not be remembering at this moment?”

She admits, “Well, I wasn’t exactly with you the whole time.”

I whine, “I know, I think I might have done something um… regretful with Jason

She laughs, “Oh no Ever, of all the eligible guys, you pick him.”

“I know, what was I thinking?”

She brushes it off, “You probably made his night. He’s been trying to get a date with you all year."

"Yeah, Not sure how bad it was, but I remember the new guy from my class, Alex, kind of rescuing me.”

She ascends, “Oh, is that who that cutie is?”

I never really thought of him that way.  He’s just the new guy in my history class.

Gabbi gets serious, “Ever, you were also rambling on about mermaids and other stuff. I thought you were just drunk but I thought I would mention it.”

I am silent for a while.

“Ever, are you still there?”

I take a deep breath, “Actually Gabbi, I think we need to talk.”

She tells me she will come over after lunch. I’m not sure telling Gabbi about my situation is a good idea, but I am tired of bearing the whole burden. I need my friend who I have trusted my whole life to help me with this huge decision.

31

Gabbi

As I climb down the stairs, I hear my mom’s voice on the phone, “No have you seen him, he didn’t come home last night.”

Silence.

Then she says with a worried tone, “Well, if you see him, tell him we are looking for him, please.”

More silence. I am guessing James is gone. This is bad, very bad because I know where he is. I have a bad feeling that it’s all starting and I’m not ready.

I go to the fridge as if I didn’t just hear my mom on the phone. She hangs up as I am getting some juice.

She turns to me and asks in an unsteady voice, “Ever, have you seen James? He didn’t come home last night.”

I know I have to tread carefully.

I tell her nonchalantly, “No mom, I didn’t actually see him yesterday at all. He’s probably at one of his friend’s houses.”

She shakes her head, “No I’ve called all of them, no one has seen him since yesterday afternoon.”

I sit down at the table, my head is pounding.

She tells me, “I think we may need to call the police. “

I suggest, “Well mom, you know James, he’ll probably come strolling through the door any minute.”

She doesn’t even look like she heard me. She walks out and I’m left alone. What to do now? I'm guessing this means I need to go back now. I really need to talk to Gabbi first before I leave. I decide to wait a little while. I’m definitely not worried about James, he’s probably one of the more dangerous specimens in the sea right now.

***

Gabbi pulls up to my house around four. I hop in her car before she can even get out. The last place she needs to be is in my house with my freaked out mom. I tell her to drive to the park down the street.

She looks at me with a very worried expression and asks, “I’m not going to like what you want to talk about, am I?”

I shake my head and look down. No words necessary.

We end up in the same spot where months ago my Gam-aw told me her story and I told James.

Gabbi jokes, “So you were really drunk last night, and some of the stuff you were saying…”