Just Breathe (31 page)

I glance at her without a smile.

I tell her, “Actually Gabbi what I told you is really the truth.”

I continue before she can say anything, “A long story short, there is a whole world of people under the sea, mer-people and I am related to them from a long time ago, way back in my family tree.”

She looks at me unbelieving.

I hurry with the rest, “Jack is from there and has been…helping me.  The night of my eighteenth birthday, I decided I wanted to be a part of that world. Now everything is...just... a mess.”

She stops me, “No Ever, this is unbelievable stuff. Are you still drunk or did you take something?”

I smirk and point, “Gabbi, watch those swings on the swing set over there.”

She turns and I make them all twist together. Her mouth gapes open and she looks from me back to the swings. I unwind them and wind them the other way.

She asks, “Are you doing that?”

I nod. She asks, “How?”

I tell her, “I told you last night, I’m a mermaid.”

I let her digest everything. I need her to be clearheaded to hear the rest.

After she asks me about details and she seems satisfied I tell her the rest, “Gabbi, I am kind of in a situation with this whole thing now. Basically there is a…ah… feud going on and both sides want me on their side. I’m kind of…um… powerful.”

She nods like she is following me but I can tell her eyes have clouded over. I’ve given her too much.

I rush to explain the rest anyway, “I don’t know what to do. Jack is on the side that I am pretty much against. I don’t know if I should just take the side with him regardless of my feelings because I love him.”

She seems to snap out of whatever trance she was in and asks unbelievingly, “You really love him, even after he changed your life like this?”

I shake my head, “Well he didn’t exactly do this. It was coming regardless of whether he was here or not. Meeting him just helped me make the decision. And yes, I love him so much.” I add quietly, ”And  I miss him.”

I suddenly feel as if I'm not getting enough oxygen thinking about Jack.

She smiles, “Oh so that’s what has been up with you, now I get it.”

I look at her surprised, “Really? Cause you are taking this way better than I thought you would.”

Maybe she is just in shock and it will hit her later.

She gets up and tells me, “Girl, I understand love and that is the whole point, right?

I smirk, although Gabbi is in her first big relationship, she is a fiend to teen romance. A true bookworm, so she considers herself the ultimate authority on romance.

I ask, “What do you mean?”

I rest my face in my hands. I think my headache is coming back.

She crouches down to look at me, “Ever, you always overanalyze everything. If Jack is your reason, then fight for Jack.”

I meet her gaze and I see it as clear as she did from the moment I explained everything.

I get a notion of doubt and  protest, “But what about those people and right and wrong?”

She shakes her head and tells me, “You said yourself, this has been going on for a while, before you were even in the picture, right?”

I nod.

“Well then, what you choose may make a difference a little or maybe it won’t. But will you Ever, be happy without Jack.”

I shake my head. The realization hits me. I think that was all I needed to hear. She made it so simple. I know I said this before but I love my Gabbi. I jump up with a clear head finally and give her a huge hug.

I whisper, “Thank you.”

She nods at me, “That’s why we’re us.”

I can tell she has started crying.

I push her to arm’s length and ask, “What’s wrong?”

She sniffles, “Does this mean I will never see you again?”

I look down, “Gabbi I truly don’t know. According to what I was told before, I shouldn’t be able to be here now after I made my choice, but here I am. I really don’t know how it all works.”

I reassure her, “Cheer up, this is absolutely not good-bye if I have anything to do with it.”

She smiles and wipes her eyes.

***

She drops me back at my house. I promise to keep in touch and let her know what is happening. She promises to claim ignorant if questions of my whereabouts come up. I realize, I didn’t tell her about James. But I reason probably the less she knows, the better.

When I walk into my house it is silent and I notice a note from my parents. They wrote that they would be at the police station if I need them. Oh boy, pretty soon they will be double devastated, but I can’t think of a way to avoid it. I run up to my room and check my email one last time. I check James’ room just to make sure he isn’t here after all. All of his things seem accounted for, definitely in the sea. I rush back down to the kitchen and scribble a note to my parents. This might appease them for a little while.

Mom and Dad,

I went to Gam-aw’s house.

Need to talk to her about college next year.

I Love you,

Ever

32

Choosing Sides

After writing my cryptic note, I dial Gam-aw.

She answers on the first ring, “Oh Ever, your mom called. Is James where I think he is?”

I tell her, “I’m pretty sure he went to the sea. He has control of his wills and Jaspen came to see him a few days ago.”

The other end of the line is silent. I call out, “Gam-aw are you still there?”

She answers, “Yes sweetheart, I was just thinking about how if I would have made different choices, you two would never be in this position. This is all my fault.”

I shake my head and say, “No Gam-aw, this is not your fault. I think it’s time for me to go find James though.”

She agrees, “Yes, before he makes any hasty decisions.”

I tell her,
“I left a note for mom and dad telling them I went to your house to talk about college. I was very vague. Will you cover for me if they call you?”

I can hear sadness in her voice, “Yes honey, I think it’s the least I can do. Good luck, my sweet girl.”

I smile, “Thank you Gam-aw, I love you.”

We hang up. At this point I think I need all the luck I can get

I change into a bikini and shorts. I close my eyes and focus on the beach where Jack told me about my life not so long ago. It’s amazing how things can change so fast. The beach is rapidly becoming my anchor to him. When I open my eyes, I am standing on the warmed sand. It is deserted as far as I can see. The sun is setting in the distance over the ocean. I linger for a minute savoring the sight. One of the most beautiful things, I have ever seen. It renews my spirit a little. I have to follow through with this. No more waiting for things to happen to me.

First things first, I jog up to the parking lot and check for my mom’s car. I spot it in the furthest space. So James doesn’t know about traveling yet. This is a good thing. Then I glance around and the only other car in the lot is on the opposite end, the yellow car, I have grown accustomed to looking for. My heart flutters at the sight. James is my first priority but then I have to tell Jack about my decision. Sides don’t really matter as long as we are together. I’m excited now that I’ve made this decision. I can’t wait to see him.

I strip down to my suit and wade in. The water is on the chilly side but I am instantly comfortable. I could travel to the Erebus caves but I don’t know how that will go or where I will actually end up. I decide to swim instead. I swim out a quarter of a mile and will my fin. It comes right away this time. I’m getting more acclimated to my new other self. It takes a while to get there, but I finally spot the cave structures about a half mile away. They are actually very beautiful from this distance. So natural, as if a huge mountain, grew from the belly of the Earth. The various cave entrances look bleak and foreboding. I think that is Jaspen’s full intention. As I approach the caves, I notice a few Erebus scattered by some of the entrances but no one takes notice of me. I really don’t have a plan at this point and this could all end up terribly, bad but I have to find James.

As I round the corner of one of the caves I spot an entrance with transparent looking doors, not so bleak here. I try the handle and push, it open inwardly. I am faced with a sight that is truly comparable to the setting sun I just witnessed on the beach. The ceiling of the cave, if you can even call it that, reaches fifty feet into the ocean. It has the same transparent material used on the doors covering the ceiling so you can see the water and sea life glide past. It is mesmerizing. The walls reaching the ceiling are like nothing I have ever seen. They look as if they are covered with sea serpents reaching for the ceiling but frozen in place. The greens and blues are so vibrant making the serpents seem as though they are stretching and swirling together. I am truly taken. As I admire this immense room, I suddenly see movement to my right down a narrow hall. I start swimming toward the hall and the serpents on the walls seem to be moving with me in the same direction. I reach out to touch them and find that they are made of stone as I had originally thought, amazing. I see the movement again and it disappears into a room to the left down the hallway. I approach the opening and peer in. My heart skips a couple of beats.

I hear James’ voice, “Well I guess if we tried that, it might work, but can’t we just steal one of the guides and make them let us in?”

I quickly back out.

The other voice replies, “You see James, it’s a little more…complicated… than just taking another mer-person and forcing them to our will. First of all, the guides are all in the city, they have been forbidden from leaving. Additionally, if we did catch one, that isn’t something we can will them to do, it’s beyond our abilities. Actually, there are some of us already in the city ready to attack. We were able to ahh… acquire a guide’s assistance before they were secured to the city.”

I recognize the other voice, Jaspen. What to do now, show myself or try to get into the city myself. If I show myself, they might think I am here to fight for the Erebus, but if I go to the city, surly there will be implications with that too.

I decide to leave and find Jack if possible. I know where James is now. I know the Erebus won’t let anything happen to him. I glide back out as quietly as I can. When I reach the open water a quarter of a mile from the caves, I stop and tread water. Either I will be able to get in through the barrier with a ‘will’ or I will have to come back and reveal myself to Jaspen. It feels good to finally have a plan.

I decide traveling is as good as any. I close my eyes and focus… thinking about Amber’s dwelling and the blue room. I open my eyes and I am still treading water in the same spot.
Nuts!
I take a deep sea breath and tell myself to relax. I try again closing my eyes, thinking about the green iridescence, Amber and the blue room. Suddenly, I feel something beneath my fin. I open my eyes and I am in the blue room sitting on the bed. The room is under water and the exact same as I remember from the last time I was here.

The door is closed and I hear muffled voices. My heart leaps in anticipation that one of them might be Jack. I rush to the door and glance down the hall. I see Amber treading in the big room. My movement catches her eye so she turns her head in my direction. I see absolute shock and fear on her face for just a second.