Keep Breathing (19 page)

Penny

“SO, WHEN YOU and Joss came up with the plan to set us up—behind my back, might I add….”

“Here it comes…” Seth feigned a wince of pain and cracked a smile.

Leah giggled and snatched a fry from my pile as the four of us munched in the food court at the Galleria Mall. “Did you ever think we’d be sitting in a mall, eating fatty burgers and devouring fries together, the four of us?” I flicked my eyelashes at Seth, whose guilty look appeared comically exaggerated. “It’d be five if Joss ever rips herself away from that jewelry store.”

“It was Joss’s idea about the Ferris wheel, I swear. Scout’s honor.” He ran his hands through his thick, dark-blonde locks, his own frustration getting the best of him. “I didn’t know how conniving she could be. All I knew was that I’d run into her at my coffee shop and I was pretty adamant on finding out what you’d been up to and telling her I still had feelings for you. It got the wheels turning in her head, so of course I was super excited to know that you were single and Joss was willing to hook me back up with you. Your mom was always looking out for us, Leah.”

“
I know. I told Mom about the Ferris wheel! My favorite ride. Wasn’t it romantic, Uncle Seth?”

“A-ha! The guilty party fesses up!” He made a funny face, pointing at Leah as she sat proudly acknowledging her actions. “I
t was terribly romantic, though. But Aunt Penny is afraid of heights, so I think that if anyone plans on setting her up for another surprise, it should definitely involve heights.”

“
Hey!” I elbowed him in the ribs, and he curled over in exaggerated agony. I turned toward Leah and shrugged. “It’s true, I’m afraid of heights.”

She giggled at me, making me blush red.

“So I’ll have to keep my eyes on both of you. You never seem to just do something on a whim, you conniving brats.” I realized my crossed arms and pouty lips made me look worse than Cam throwing a fit for not getting ice cream, which made me burst out laughing, too.

“Mom’s funny.
” Leah sighed, dragging a French fry through the pile of ketchup on her plate.

“Yeah, she
’s pretty awesome. Just don’t go shopping with her. She’ll try to dress you up in terrible ways. It’s a form of torture!” We all laughed and I squeezed her tight before she stuffed another fry into her mouth.

“You guys, check this out! I got a deal on some studs.”
Joss bounced into one of the empty chairs before stealing a fry from Leah.

“Hey!”

I lifted an eyebrow. “Ooh, not just one hot stud?”

She frowned at me and rolled her eyes. “Diamond studs. But
, the guy behind the counter could count as a stud.” She winked and held out the little box that held the earrings “What do you think? I got a killer deal.”

“Can I wear them, Mom?” Leah tilted her head to admire the diamonds.

“Yeah, but let’s wait until you’re bigger, okay peanut?”

“Okay!”

She was almost fully recovered, personality and all. She’d gotten released from the hospital fairly quickly. Seth was leaving tomorrow for Moldova, but seemed happy that he wasn’t leaving us in dire straits. Her left arm was still in a cast, but the heavy hunk of bright pink plaster didn’t slow her down any. There were no ill effects from the accident, thank goodness. I didn’t know what we’d do without her snarkiness to keep us all in line. She had found my prince charming and steered him right back to me. She’d knocked sense into my head when there was none. She literally was our guardian angel, still jabbering her opinions in my ear as the days went on. It reminded me why I had to cherish each moment as it came, live with an open heart and forgive readily. You never knew when something would be ripped away from you without warning.

She was my soul sister, who’ll always keep my head on straight with all her conniving ways.

Joss, you sneaky devil, you.

Seth

“WHAT DO YOU mean, you’re not coming back, yet?” I heard Penny almost drop the phone, but she managed to keep it in her iron grip as I listened to her heavy breathing on the other end of the telephone. I’d been gone but a week and now was telling her I’d be gone much, much longer. “What’s going on?” she hissed. None of this was settling well with her one bit.

“
I
am
coming back, just not yet. It’s going to take a while. I had to help my brother pay off a gambling debt on top of everything else, but it’s taken care of. My Mother has decided to sell her estate and return to the United States with me. The paperwork alone will keep us a bit longer than I intended. She wants to see me and Cam more and not die alone out here. Her words, not mine.”

“When will it be done?”

“I don’t know…could be days, could be weeks.”

“What?” Penny’s exasperated voice made me want to jump through the line and comfort her.
My heart was convulsing, I could feel the seized-up thumping in my chest, and I just wanted to throw up. “So when do you come back? Cam’s waiting…I’m here. We’re waiting for you to come back.”

“I know.”

The pause made me think I’d lost her as the static waved in and out of the line.

“
Seth?” Her voice echoed back into a clear tone.

“I’m here.”

“What are you going to do?”

Her
breath heaved into the speaker, making me want to reach into the receiver and touch her soft lips. “I want you to come here and spend some time with me. You and Cam. Here in Moldova.”

“Say that again?” Her raspy voice came out cracked and shocked.

“First, I need you to write this down. I already called my lawyer to give you guardianship papers for Cam and his passport. You need to get one, too.”

“
A passport? No. I can’t fly down there with Cam.”

“
Penny, please? You’ll love it here.”

“I−I can’t…”

“Think of it as the first stop in seeing the world, just like you wanted.”

The static returned,
but retreated just as fast. I prayed she’d say yes. To show her my country would be a dream come true. I had the ring with me, too, and I wanted to ask her to marry me once she arrived. It would be perfect in every way. I would love it if we could get engaged in Moldova.

“Join me here, please? It’s high time you saw the world.” I waited patiently, hoping she hadn’t hung up.

“
Traveling with a kid across the world…sure, no problem.”

“Really?” I couldn’t tell if she was serious or sarcastic to a fault.

“Yes, really. I’ll go to Moldova with Cam…for you.”

“
Really? That’s great! Hey, don’t worry. It’ll be fun.” I let out a breath, relieved and ecstatic. “I’ll call you later to see if you need anything else. Okay?”

“Okay,” s
he agreed, sounding apprehensive but happy. I couldn’t have been more elated. I almost jumped up and down with joy before I realized she couldn’t see me through the phone.

“Have a good day
, and I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay.”

~~~~~

Penny

THE PHONE WENT silent and I stared at it. My life had changed drastically in the span of a few weeks, a lot more than it had in the six years prior. What was I going to do first? I gulped and glanced at the clock. It was barely ten in the morning, and the thoughts were already running amuck in my head and had me ragged. I was pretty sure that come nighttime, I’d collapse into my bed like a stone.

So much to do
, so little time.

Did I even want to go to Moldova?

Seth’s blue eyes flashed into my mind, bringing a small smile to my face. He was worth it though, I knew that now. He was worth every little thing because he’d fought so hard to get back into my good graces. The least I could do for him was this. Besides, he trusted me with his kid, how much more can a person give of themselves than their own treasured child? Cam had been with me since Seth had boarded the plane and I’d loved every minute I’d spent with the little guy.

I missed Seth more than I ever thought I could miss anyone. At least by going to Moldova, I
’d get to see his birthplace and cross it off my list of places to see. He knew I wanted to travel. I smiled at the push he had given me from across the sea.

Sometimes dreams did
come true.

I straightened up and
went over to the pillow fort Cam and I had created. It was time to get going, one way or the other. It would be the trip of a lifetime, and I was going to enjoy every second of it. It was funny how everything I’d wanted was happening. It was all so fast and unpredictable, and definitely not the way I’d wanted, but nothing ever went the way I’d planned it. I thought about calling Joss to get her opinion on all this, but I already knew she’d tell me to shut up and get the passport already. I grinned at the thought and let out a long, sweet breath.

I already knew I would be going to Moldova, no matter what.

Life goes on, and you must live it or bury yourself in one spot, paralyzed. I didn’t want that, I wanted to live again. I just had to keep breathing, that’s all you can really do.

“Hey
, Cam!” He peeked out from under the pillow and blanket fort that used to be my living room. “Ever ride in an airplane before?”

NO ONE EVER says it’ll be easy. All you can do is close your eyes and feel the wind sweep through your hair and savor the salty, sweet treats life tosses in your direction. Don’t become bitter, and never ever hold on too tight, because you’ll not only blister your hands, you’ll choke the precious love you hold within them.

I let the cool November air run through my hair, hanging loose in long tangles of waves, fluttering along the breeze.
Memories of our months spent abroad made my head swim. It felt like a distant dream, one that couldn’t possibly be mine. But it was. Seth had given me his mother’s engagement ring in Moldova, after a long day of sightseeing and a quiet row in a small boat off the nearby shore of a tiny, but beautiful lake near his mother’s estate. I’d been exhilarated, trembling as he slipped the ring onto my finger and kissed me in the middle of the lake.

The wedding was everything I’d imagined it to be. We’d held it at the Bellagio
in Las Vegas, where our second first date had been. Our honeymoon included a trip to Tuscany, Italy, traipsing the countryside and trying every Italian dish we could stuff into our mouths.  We’d also included this small deviation, a side trip to the same beach we’d enjoyed in our college days off the Oregon Coastline. The same cold sand and frigid air raked its fingers across my skin and I shivered under its caress. I was wearing my jacket and my now-snug jeans, but the wind snaked its way under them and through the tiny holes in the fabric no matter what. I clutched my growing belly and hoped the tiny life stirring inside was toasty and warm.

Suddenly, a flash of red and black hit my periphery as
Seth swung a warm, flannel blanket over both our shoulders, pulling me close and wrapping it around us. His body heat instantly warmed mine and stifled the chill overtaking my shaking body.

We stared out across the expanse of ocean, watching the tousle of wind-tossed waves foam and violently strike the shore. He leaned in to me, and I turned, meeting his lips and enjoying the heat of them on mine. He tasted like the briny air hovering about us and sweet like pixie sticks. We’d been gorging on junk food, a favorite habit of mine
intensified by the pregnancy.

My thumb rubbed against the cool metal of my wedding ring, bringing with it fiery warmth that grew as his kisses left trails of wet heat on my skin. Our breaths puffed out into small, steamy clouds as we continued to embrace, inhaling each other as if never satisfied.

“I love you, Seth.” I whispered into his ear, letting the wind carry my voice.

“I love you back, Penny.”
His smile was brilliant, and lit my grey skies until I’d forgotten what the darkness was about.

I tugged at him, pulling him toward the beach house we’d rented yet again. It was so worn and beaten by the constant assault of rain and wind, but it was sturdy and took it year after year. The creaky wood and salted w
indows stood awaiting our return. Into its embrace we went, like meeting an old friend. Inside, we warmed ourselves and made love until the stars shone and the night brought the howls of violent wind with it. It didn’t bother me, though. I was in the arms of love again, and this time I knew neither of us would ever let go.

I want to thank several people who’ve helped me on this arduous journey as a writer. I’ve never met such amazing people in my life, and no matter what, you’ll be in my heart always. I got your back.

My Indie Inked sisters… How I even belong in a room full of such talent, I’ll never know:

Cameo Renae, Angela Orlowski-Peart, Lizzy Ford, Cambria Hebert, J.A. Huss, Beth Balmanno, Julia Crane, Amber Garza, Tiffany King, L.P. Dover, Komal Kant, Heidi McLaughlin, Tabatha Vargo, Ella James, Melissa Pearl,
Kelly Walker, T.G. Ayer, Sarah M. Ross, Melissa Andrea, Brina Courtney, Alivia Anders. You guys rock, and I’ve had a blast treading the trenches with you!

Back to my roots, you guys always are there for me. No matter what, thick and thin, we persevere: Jenna Kay, Linna Drehmel, Madison Daniel, and Kyani Swanigan. Family to the end!

Special thanks to Michael K. Rose. Your insights always keep things grounded, and I appreciate all your excellent work to mold my jumble of words into something comprehensible and readable. Thanks!