MEMORIAM (13 page)

“I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

Sam tilted his head. “Wha- ”

“I’m sorry.”

At this point I didn’t want to risk either of us getting hurt. Whatever was happening between Sam and Mary was out of my control, and no matter how much I wanted to be with Sam, it wasn’t in the cards for me.

CHAPTER SIX

Time is a funny thing. The idea that you can control it is impossible. Many people over the years and throughout history have claimed to be the masters, only to be put in their place by failure, or even death. David O’Brian thought he was the master when he told the rectors he could double his life span by a rock he found in the jungle, one that was rumored to have magical powers. I wasn’t sure why everyone believed him, but they did. He almost succeeded until he died a few days later from radiation exposure. Apparently the new machinery he was using to run tests backfired.

I always thought it was dumb how people did things like this in secret where no one else knew. What happened if you failed or the plan backfired? That was why I thought it unwise to mess with time. It was an uncontrollable element. Last night when I tried to explain this to Sam, he argued that there was no way I could hurt him, but I knew he was wrong. The secretary’s threat was very real to me, and despite my growing feelings for Sam, I knew I had to keep my distance to keep him safe. I wished so badly that I could ask how he felt about me, but something held me back. Fear of rejection, maybe. I wanted to say that time would tell, but I didn’t know how much time I had.

After our conversation on the roof I went back to my room and slept alone. When I woke in the morning I had an alert about my first real hunt. My mind was blank as I scooped up my hunter pack, laced my boots, then shoved my arms through the sleeves of my hunter jacket.
Ten minutes until departure.
I picked up the last item that remained: my klave.

I got to the weaponry faster than I wanted to. Malina was already there next to Sev. The way he eyed her made me think he had other intentions. Sev and Malina were the last two people I’d picture together. Vince gave me a small wave when I came over.

“You ready for your first hunt?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Where is Zanna?”

“Here,” Zanna called out. She came over from behind a huge magnus, throwing her long hair over her shoulder. The five different knives hugging her hips were more than intimidating. “Stop staring and get in the damn magnus.”

“So bossy,” Malina retorted. She opened the hatch and stood aside, letting Zanna in first.

“I’ll be right here,” Vince reassured me. Guilt swelled in my chest from the last time I got in a magnus. I hoped the outcome from this trip would be different.

“I’m sorry I cause so many problems.”

“Never be sorry, Vi. The greatest lesson to learn in life.” He took my hand and climbed up with me, heading to the back corner where we sat together, our heads down. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. The woman from the Head’s mansion flashed in my mind. My jaw clenched and my temples started to throb.

Who knows how much time passed once I dozed off? It seemed falling asleep was what I was best at when we rode in the magnus. Cold air, along with the smell of fresh pine, was what woke me; it was something that intoxicated and thrilled my nostrils. The others were gathering their packs.

“Where are we?”

“Our destination.”

I followed Vince out of the magnus. The sun was lower in the sky compared to earlier when I went down to the weaponry. Lavender skimmed the bottom of the sky in the distance, and the sun’s rays kissed the tops of pine trees like mothers kiss their children. It was colder now. I rubbed my arms, exhaling puffs of air. The sunset was so enticing, as if it was taunting my imprisonment.

“Have hunters tried to run away on missions?” I asked Vince.

“Some, but none make it. The base strategically places a Trux in each combination to keep an eye on the other hunters.”

“Do you know who the Trux is in our group?”

“No. If I had, don’t you think I would have warned you?”

My pants were soon soaked from brushing past plants and low branches that were covered in dew. The tall grass didn’t help much, either. Each step rubbed my pants uncomfortably; my jumpsuit was determined to leave its mark. We came near the edge of the forest where, through the trees, I could see a large field with a country-styled home in the middle. I hadn’t seen a country-styled home in ages. They were banned from being built a decade ago because they violated the Environmental Code.

We came to the edge of the tree line. Overgrown vines grew up the sides of the house; glass from broken windows covered the porch, and vines invaded the house’s interior. My hands were numb from the cold. I rubbed my arms and glanced over at Sev for direction. He seemed to be the designated leader out of the five of us. Was he the undercover Trux?

“Zanna, go around back. Malina, take the basement. I’ll search upstairs.”

“Violet and I will cover the first floor then,” Vince said. Sev was watching me out of the corner of his eye, and although I wasn’t afraid of Sev, he intimidated me. A few weeks back when I first started training, Sev would glare at me from across the room. Once when I was eating alone in the hunters’ eating facility, Sev came in and sat down across from me. When I stood up to leave he gave me a hard shove, sending me crashing into the nearest table. I never told anyone. 

I didn’t want to come off as a coward to the other hunters so I kept my mouth shut. Even now, as we crossed the field and neared the house, I kept my distance from him. If any of us was insane, it was Sev.

“I’ll send the lighters,” Sev said. He pulled a handful of marbles out of his belt and threw them at the house. Flames shot through the front window. I jumped, gawking at Sev.

“You’ll burn the building down!”

“The lighters never burn, they only create light,” Vince said.

Sev threw four more at the house. Small flames now danced against the setting sun.

Dark stains covered the rickety porch railing; the woman’s bloody chest from the Head’s mansion flashed in my mind, her heart stopping against mine. I had seen her fears, hopes, and dreams. They were the same as mine: freedom.

Our combination dispersed. The only ones left were Vince and I. We walked through the front door and into a large entry room. A few pieces of furniture littered the floor, along with a shattered frame with a photograph of a boy and two older people, most likely his parents, and a grand piano. I hadn’t seen one of those in ages.

I crossed the room and lifted the lid to the piano. Several keys were missing and some were speckled with stains – undoubtedly blood. When I touched a key a melody began to play in my head. I rested both hands on the keys, closing my eyes. I swayed to the melody as I played. A faint smile spread across my face. It was like a floodgate of forgotten memories filling my head.

“You play?” Vince asked.

“I don’t know. This has never happened before.”

“Keep going.”

My mind went blank. “I can’t. It just....stopped.”

He didn’t say anything more. I pulled the lid back down over the keys and pulled out my klave, clutching it tightly as we left the entry room.

“Violet, go check the kitchen. I’ll clear this room.”

“Okay.”

“Take this.” He held out his gun. I wasn’t allowed to carry a gun as a new hunter – all hunters knew that. Vince shouldn’t have done it, yet I knew he did it out of kindness. It was much easier to shoot someone than it was to watch them die from poison. I took the gun.

I passed Vince and wandered to the back of the house into the kitchen. A smell filled my nostrils. It smelled like...beans. There was a heating device on the counter. Edging closer I peered inside. It was a pot full of beans. My heart sank when I stuck my hand in and realized they were still warm.

That meant someone was here in this house. My stomach clenched into a tight fist. Was a Pax hiding from us, or were they wise and fleeing the place? I wanted to show Vince what I had found, but if I called him, then Sev and Malina might hear, too. If a Pax was still here, I didn’t want to expose them. I wanted to avoid killing if I could help it.

The squeak ruined everything. It was a faint squeak, like a cupboard closing. I whipped around, aiming Vince’s gun. There was nothing under the table. Past the table in the corner was a double-doored cabinet almost as tall as me. One of the doors was cracked open and through the crack was a blue eye.

I froze and held my breath. It felt like my stomach had just plummeted through my body and fallen through the floor. Dread filled my heart as I took a step forward, hesitant as to whether or not I should open the cupboard.

“Violet, no,” someone said. It was too late.

I was already pulling it open. Inside was a child, a small girl with a large forehead and long dark hair that hung stiffly around her face, a strand pushed behind her ear. Her face was too thin, her body too small for the large cupboard.

“Shut the cupboard.” Vince was beside me. He was the one who spoke again. My arm wouldn’t move. I stared at the girl. A little boy flashed in my mind, his curious brown eyes crinkling at the edges. His small hand was reaching out to me. The image changed to the same little boy holding my hand, pointing at a toy display in a window.

“Shut the cupboard or give me the gun.”

My heart beat wildly out of my chest. Why didn’t I go ahead and shut it? Was it because I couldn’t bear to turn away from the girls’ eyes that had triggered a flood of memories that I had never seen before, and that if I broke my gaze then the memories would disappear? Vince’s hand was on my gun.

I tugged it away. “You can’t shoot her.”

“If I don’t, Sev will.”

“He doesn’t have to know.”

“Know what?” My worst nightmare – Sev standing in the doorway of the kitchen. His pale grey eyes locked in on the girl.

“That you found a child? Then by all means. Finders, killers.”

“That’s not the phrase,” I said, clenching my jaw.

“Fine, if you won’t then Malina will.” Sev signaled to Malina and she pulled out her knife and stepped out from behind Sev.

“NO!” I lunged and grabbed Malina, trying to rip the blade from her. She let out a yell and shoved me away, striding past me and pulling the girl out of the cupboard.

“Malina, please don’t. Please just leave her. We’ll find someone else.”

Sev let out a sadistic laugh. “We’ll find someone else? You think we can let her go free? She’s a Pax. If she was a Trux she would be with her parents.”

“Then take her in to the base. Don’t kill her. Please.”

Sev took my wrist and twisted it behind my back, bending me backwards as he spoke.         “You think you are above us? That you can call the shots? New hunters aren’t off the hook. I was never shown mercy,” he spat. “There is no mercy – not for any of us, including her.” He jerked his head at the little girl.

Sev grabbed my cheeks and turned my head so I was forced to look at the girl. She was crying now, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Kill me then,” I whispered. Sev bent down so that our eyes were level. My white face was reflected in his eyes, fear etched in every line.

“What did you say?”

“Kill me. Let her live.”

“Your life for hers?”

“Yes.”

“Fine then.” Sev cocked his gun and I felt its cold tip jammed up against my skull.

“Sev, it’s against the rules!” Vince argued.

“Rules can be broken.”

“I will kill her.” Vince tried to rip the gun from my spare hand.

“No, Vince,” I gasped.

“You don’t get to decide,” Sev snarled. “I always thought you weren’t hard enough on Trent. You coddled him and because of that he failed! You’re lucky they didn’t kill him. This one-” Sev shoved the tip of the gun harder against my head. “-is asking for it. We are all going to lose our minds sometime so you might as well just go with the flow!” Sev had to be mentally insane.

My head was pounding and my arm was going numb.

“So what will it be, Vi? You or her?”

I choked back a sob that rose in my throat.

“Goddammit to hell,” Sev spat. He stood up and a huge
boom
shattered my ear drums, but the noise did not compare to the excruciating pain going through my leg. It was like fire eating me alive.

“YOU CAN’T SHOOT ANOTHER HUNTER!”

Everyone was muted. The edges of my eyes blurred. I felt around my feet and felt a small hand touch mine. The girl pleaded through her eyes. I looked down at my leg.

“Oh god,” I whispered. A crimson welt indented my thigh where the bullet had lodged itself. Blood ran down my leg. I bit my fist so much that my head felt like a grenade, ticking down to detonation.

Sev started yelling. “It doesn’t matter, none of this matters, Vince! We are pawns! This is what the Head does! He turns us against each other – we have no freedom! WE DON’T MATTER!”

I gripped Vince’s gun and pushed myself up. Someone jumped on me and there was a blinding pain that shot through my leg and back up through my abdomen, piercing my lungs.

“Leave her alone!” I could hear Vince shouting.

More screams and pain intensified. My heart jumped out of my chest when hands wrapped themselves around my throat. It was the woman all over again in the Head’s mansion. I was sure of it. The same wild demeanor told me she was going to kill me. I rolled right and the figure moved with me as I held up my gun, pulling back the trigger.

“DO IT!” Sev screamed, his voice muffled by my own scream as the girl came into view and aligned with the bullet I fired, falling to the ground.

Sobs choked me as I screamed, throwing the gun aside and crawling on my hands and knees to the girl. Malina was already trying to scoop her up, pulling her away from me. The girl’s hand fell limp by her side, barely close enough for my fingertips to touch. I gripped my head, shaking it back and forth moaning.

“No. No! NO!” I sobbed. Her blood was on my jumpsuit. Someone was yelling again. Everything was blurred. Black dots showed up. A boy’s voice spoke in my head. His face formed in front of me.
“You shake it like this. The colors change.” His deep brown eyes crinkled. “If you do it really fast then the colors change faster.”
I slumped over on the floor, the room fading.