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He was still looking sad, but he was a little better. On the way home,
he had talked about when Olivia came home, at the end of the summer.

He was already looking ahead, and beginning to believe she would come
back, as she had promised.

"Sure, " he said, pushing his monkey aside, and holding on to Chip so he
wouldn't jump off the bed. But he just wagged his tail and licked
Olivia's hand. He liked her.

"Sleep tight, " she whispered into his hair, and then walked back to her
own bedroom. It had been a long day, and her back hurt after the long
drive back and forth to Croton.

"You're in court tomorrow? " she asked casually, as she undid her hair,
and Charles glanced at her in surprise. It was the first time she had
ever asked about his work, and he nodded.

"It's nothing important, " he said, and went back to reading his papers.

And then he looked up at her again. "Thank you for dinner." She smiled,
not sure what to say, it seemed so normal to her, but it was obviously
something Victoria hadn't done often. "I thought your father did very
well today, all things considered."

"So did I, " she said sadly.

"I'll call some investigators for him tomorrow when I get back to the
office. I still can't believe she did it. She's so responsible.

It seems so unlike her to run away. She must have been terribly unhappy
to do that."

"I know, " Olivia said softly.

In fact, it was the longest conversation Charles had had with his wife
in weeks, except when they argued with each other.

They changed in their dressing rooms separately, as usual, and that
night when they went to bed, they each kept their backs turned.

And as Olivia drifted off to sleep, she wondered how they had both lived
this way. It was so lonely.

She got up and made them breakfast the next day. The maid usually did it
for them, but Olivia said she didn't mind it. She knew she wasn't
supposed to do anything Victoria wouldn't have done, but it seemed such
a small thing to do for them, she hated not to. But Charles noticed the
difference in her since her sister was gone. She seemed to have a need
to take care of them suddenly, and he had to admit, he liked it.

But Geoff looked at her very strangely. And she saw him instinctively
look at her hand, but it was covered by the towel she had used so she
wouldn't burn herself on their dishes. She knew what he was looking for,
and she was determined that he was not going to find it. It was so small
anyway, that she knew he wouldn't see it unless she was particularly
careless.

"Have a good day at school, " she said casually to him, and she
purposely didn't offer to kiss him. Nor did she say anything at all to
Charles when he left for the office. She knew she had to be careful.

And she sensed that Victoria wouldn't have said much to them, if she saw
them at all in the morning.

In fact, Charles seemed surprised to see her when he got home.

And Geoff had been even more so when he got home from school and found
her darning some of his father's socks in the kitchen.

"What are you doing? " He looked shocked, and she blushed as she
answered.

"Ollie taught me how to do it."

"I've never seen you do that before.

" "Well, if I don't, your father will be going to the office barefoot.

" She smiled and Geoff laughed and went to help himself to milk and
cookies before going upstairs reluctantly to do his own homework.

He only had another month of school, and he could hardly wait for summer
vacation.

The rest of the week passed uneventfully, Olivia said very little to
them. She was very careful about what she said or did. She wanted to be
cautious until she knew them better. Living with them constantly was
very different from visiting with them. And she wanted to be sure she
didn't make some awful faux pas that would expose her. In fact, she was
very relieved when on Friday, Geoff asked to stay at a friend's, and
Charles said he had meetings all afternoon with out of town clients.

In fact, he was planning to have dinner with them, and since he knew how
much she hated that sort of thing, he didn't invite her.

She was happy to have the time to herself, to go through some of her
sister's things. She wanted to take a closer look at the books Victoria
had wanted to read, the articles she had cut out, the letters from a few
acquaintances in New York, and the invitations she had accepted.

There was something at the Ogden Mills' in two week$, and Olivia worried
about anything else Victoria might not have told sanielle uteel her, but
she seemed fairly familiar with most of it. Then shortly after nine
o'clock that morning, she had the oddest sensation.

It was a feeling of disequilibrium, almost as though she was going to
lose her balance, in fact she felt quite ill, as she did all day, and by
nightfall, she had a ferocious headache. She had no idea why she was
ill, she had no fever, no cold, and she had been fine when she got up
that morning. By the time Charles got home, she was in bed, and as she
lay there, she had a rising feeling of panic, and he was surprised when
he looked at her, to see how pale she looked. She looked genuinely
awful.

"Is it something you ate? " he asked with mild concern. He'd had a long
day, but the negotiations had gone well, and he had a new client.

"I don't know, " Olivia said in a thin voice, feeling terribly dizzy.

She felt as though the room were spinning around her. She had felt that
way almost since lunchtime.

"At least we know you're not pregnant, " he said sarcastically, and
Olivia didn't answer. She felt too ill to respond to him by then, and
she just lay in bed for hours that night, feeling grim, and when she
fell asleep at last, she had the terrifying feeling that she was
drowning. She sat up in bed, gasping for air, and she leapt out of bed
when she couldn't get it. And as soon as she moved, he stirred, and he
sat up and watched her.

"Are you all right? " he asked in a sleep-filled voice, and she shook
her head still gasping for air. He came quickly toward her with a glass
of water.

She took a sip and coughed, and he helped her into a chair. "I don't
know what happened .. . I had a terrible nightmare." And then, just as
suddenly, she was seized with a wave of panic, and she knew that
something had happened to her sister. She looked up at him, and he read
in her eyes what she was thinking.

"You're just overwrought, " he said soothingly, amazed at the bond
between the twins again. It was almost as though they should never have
been separated at all, as though it were just too traumatic for them.

"I'm sure she's fine, wherever she is, " he said calmly.

But she was clutching his arm with a look of terror. "Charles, I know
she isn't."

"You know nothing of the sort, " he said in a quiet voice, and tried to
get her to come back to bed with him, but she wouldn't.

"I can't breathe, " she said, sounding frightened. It seemed impossible
on a ship like that, but what if something had happened?

What if ...
what if she were ill? .. . Olivia knew she could feel it. And Charles
could see that something very strange was happening to her.

She began to cry and she couldn't stop it. He was afraid for her nerves,
as he watched her.

"Shall I call a doctor, Victoria? " he asked, and she almost jumped at
the sound of her sister's name.

"I don't know, " she said, feeling strangled, and then she looked at him
and began to cry again. "Oh Charles .. . I'm so afraid ..

." He came to kneel next to her then, he had never seen her this way
before, and he didn't know what to do for her. He sat next to her and
held her hand, and then finally he got her to come back to bed and lie
beside him, but whenever she closed her eyes, she said she felt as
though she were drowning. "I'm sorry, " she said finally, "I didn't mean
to be so much trouble, " but she was still crying softly. "I just feel
that something terrible has happened to her."

"I'm sure that's not true, " he said, still holding her hand, wanting to
comfort her, and surprised at how gentle and helpless she looked as she
lay beside him. She never fell asleep again, but by morning she was
calm. She lay very still, and she seemed almost as though she were in a
trance when Charles spoke to her. "would you like some tea, Victoria? "
he asked. He still thought she looked ill, and he had decided that in a
little while he would call the doctor. It was the first time in their
eleven months together that she had been sick at all, and it somehow
surprised him. She was normally very well balanced and very healthy.

But he was beginning to think that the shock of her twin running away
the week before had somehow unhinged her.

He went downstairs, and made tea for her, but before he could bring it
back to her, she came downstairs, and puttered barefoot around the
kitchen. She was looking a little stronger as she sat down and unfolded
the newspaper, thinking that it might take her mind off worrying about
her sister. But as soon as she opened it, she gasped and stared at the
paper. There were four-inch headlines straight across the page, and it
took her breath away as she read them. The Lusitania had been torpedoed
thirteen miles off the coast of Ireland, and had sunk to the bottom in
just under eighteen minutes. All that was known was what had been seen
from shore, but great loss of life was feared, and no survivors had been
listed yet, but according to the article there were bodies everywhere,
and the entire ship had been destroyed by U-boats.

"Oh my God! " she said, staring at him. "Oh my God .. .

Charles .

.." And as he looked at her in total amazement, she slipped slowly to
the floor, and he managed to catch her just as she fainted.

The kitchen maid had just come in, and Charles shouted to her to call
the doctor and tell him to come quickly. Mrs. Dawson was very ill and
had just fainted.

He carried her upstairs before she had regained consciousness, and laid
her on their bed. And a moment later, she came around as he held
smelling salts beneath her nose. There were some very old ones in his
bathroom cabinet, which Susan had used when she was pregnant with
Geoffrey.

"I .. . oh .. . what .. . oh my God .. . Charles .. ." The ship had gone
down, and her sister was on it. She didn't know if she was dead or
alive, and she had no way of finding out, or even telling him what had
happened. All she could do was cry, and Charles was worried sick as they
waited for the doctor.

"Don't speak, Victoria, just close your eyes." He tried to calm her but
she was very agitated, and he was greatly relieved when he heard the
doctor come up the stairs twenty minutes later. He was relieved that
Geoffrey wasn't home, it would have been far too upsetting for a boy his
age to see his stepmother in such a state of total chaos.

"What's happened here? " the doctor said in a cheerful tone, but he
could see immediately that Mrs. Dawson was extremely upset and she'd
been crying.

"I'm sorry, Doctor, " she apologized and began to cry again, as
Charles stared at her, thinking that there was something very odd
about her. He had felt as though she'd been a completely different
person ever since Olivia left and he was also beginning to think she was
having a nervous breakdown. Olivia tried explaining her symptoms to the
doctor, although they all sounded terribly foolish now. But she knew now
what had caused them. She had begun to feel ill at the exact moment the
ship had gone down, and she had been feeling wretched ever since then.

What she didn't know was whether or not Victoria was alive, and all she
wanted was that reassurance, and no one could give it to her.