More Letters From a Nut (35 page)

Dear San Antonio Spurs,

I have heard that you were changing your name to the San Antonio Paper Towels. Why? This is a very bad idea. Probably the worst idea I have ever heard. It is terrible. I have always liked the name “Spurs.”

I know the paper towel is strong and can “mop up” the opponent, but I can’t see myself saying “Go Paper Towels. Wipe the Lakers.”

I can’t remember hearing such an awful idea. It is pathetic.

Also, will you be selling San Antonio Paper Towel T-shirts? And what will they be made of? What about mugs? Give me the hours of the gift shop so I can order memorabilia? I want a T-shirt and a basketball and a paper towel holder.

I am wondering if the San Antonio Paper Towel logo will be on the full line of clothing? I want some shorts!

Please tell me this name change is not so and set my mind at ease. I am tortured. And, please give me the gift shop hours so I can order merchandise. Thank you, San Antonio Paper Towels, you are the team to beat.

Let me know about season tickets. I am going to move to San Antonio in eleven weeks for a long time.

Sincerely,

Ted L. Nancy

You’re #1 Fan

February 24, 1997

Dear Mr. Nancy,

We are terribly sorry that you have not received our information regarding possible season tickets for the upcoming season. We are sending you some information regarding our season tickets for the 96-97 season, to give you an idea of the great opportunity the San Antonio Spurs can provide to our season ticket holders. This upcoming season’s information has not yet been determined and thus we can’t send you anything at this time. We will keep you in mind though, and as soon as it becomes available, we will mail it to you.

Now, in regards to our name change. I am not sure where you are getting your information, but I’m happy to inform you that the team name will continue to be “Spurs”. The “Paper Towels” is a catchy name, but I don’t think it would go over well with the public here in San Antonio. The people here love their spurs and would not take a name change very well. We do appreciate your interest in our organization and it’s well-being.

In regards to SPURS merchandise you can call our Spurs Shop at (210) 704-6798 and order any type of Spurs memorabilia you desire. If you are ever in the San Antonio area during this season feel free to call me (210) 554-1413 and I will be glad to get you a pair of tickets to a regular season game. The Spurs are an exciting team and I know you will enjoy yourself.

Once again, thank you for you interest and I hope you tell your informant that the “Paper Towel” idea is not, and will not be considered as a possible name change.

I Love My Spurs!!

Jose Antonio Reyes

Fan Relations Coordinator

Full text of the above letter to follow.

Dear Ticket Department,

I want to come to the J. Paul Getty Museum. I like looking at pictures. How do I get tickets to come and see your oils?

Also … I understand you have an Italian restaurant in your museum called the J. Paul Spagetty Restaurant? I would like to make reservations. I like spaghetti. Is it good?

I think your Getty museum is beautiful from what I have seen in pictures at the foot doctor’s office. I understand the Spagetty restaurant is just as beautiful. Yum.

Please send me ticket info on the museum and the hours of operation. Also, let’s make a reservation for the J. Paul Spagetty restaurant. I like bread.

Thank you for your help. I look forward to dining there.

Respectfully,

Ted L. Nancy

October 28, 1996

The J. Paul Getty Museum

Research Institute for the History of Art and the Humanities

Conservation Institute

Information Institute

Education Institute for the Arts

Grant Program

Leadership Institute for Museum Management

The J. Paul Getty Trust

Dear Mr. Nancy:

Thank you for your interest in visiting the J. Paul Getty Museum. The Museum is open Tuesday through Sunday, 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., closed Mondays. Admission is free, however parking reservations are required. Reservations should be made 7 to 10 days in advance of your visit. Please call the Visitor Services Office at (310) 458-2003 to make your reservations.

The Garden Tea Room is a cafeteria-style eating establishment, with a menu that changes daily. They serve entrées between 11:00 a.m. and 2:30 p.m., beverages and light snacks before and after that.

I have enclosed a General Information Brochure, which has more detailed information regarding the Museum and its collections.

Thank you again for your interest. I hope you will visit the Museum soon and the new museum, opening in Fall 1997, at the Getty Center in west Los Angeles.

Sincerely,

Stephen W. Watson

Visitor Services

17985 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, California 90265-5799
Mailing Address: P.O. Box 2112, Santa Monica, California 90407-2112
Phone 310 459 7611 Telex 820268