More Letters From a Nut (42 page)

Dear Alberto VO 5 Shampoo,

I shampoo my alligator in your shampoo. He likes strawberry. I raise alligators and lizards and perch. Only the alligator likes your strawberry shampoo. Sadly, the others turn their nose up at it when I put the bottle under it.

But my alligator goes wild when I put the shampoo on him. He closes his eyes tight and enjoys every moment

If I stop he opens his eyes and waits for more shampooing.

Do you make other products for alligators? Please let me know. Have you ever heard of this? I need to know that I am not crazy and my alligator is definitely not crazy. Tell us.

If you want a picture I can show you one with lather on his head and his eyes closed tight. Thanks. Write me so I can show others in the breeding area that your company cares where their shampoo goes. And let me know if you want to see that picture. It is something to see—a 12 foot alligator with your lather on his head. He likes it!

Thank You,

Ted Nancy

& Mark

Dear Mr. Nancy:

Thank you for your letter regarding your alligator’s use of Alberto VO5 Strawberry & Cream Shampoo. It’s always a pleasure to hear from a satisfied customer.

Alberto VO5 Shampoos and Conditioners are especially developed for human hair, with a blend of ingredients that moisturize and beautify hair, giving it exceptional body. VO5’s triple conditioning formula offers three conditioning benefits: provides essentail moisture and locks it in, strengthens and protects during wet combing and restores precious moisture and vitality, leaving hair soft.

Alberto VO5 Shampoo ingredients are combined so the shampoo has a PH balance which falls between 3.9 - 6. It is not uncommon for Alberto-Culver Shampoos, and also those of our competitors, to have a PH in the range between 4.0 - 6.0. This range includes the PH values dermatologists consider to be the “acid mantle” of human skin. By that they mean that this is in the normal PH range of the skin.

Shampoos, as well as other skin and hair products that are intended for skin application, are intentionally PH adjusted so as not to interfere with the native PH level of the skin.

The PH level also effects the shampoo’s ability to neutralize or remove residues of hair treatment products. Therefore, it may be necessary for a particular shampoo formula, such as VO5 Baby Shampoo, to have a slightly higher (5.5) acid level in order to clean the hair gently and naturally.

We hope this information is helpful. We have heard many stories of using Alberto VO5 Shampoo on dogs and cats, but yours is the first of an alligator’s use. Please note Alberto Culver has never tested Alberto VO5 products on animals, since it is only intended for human use.

Sincerely,

MaryAlexander

Manager

Consumer Relations

2525 ARMITAGE AVENUE, MELROSE PARK, ILLINOIS 60160-1163 TELEPHONE (708) 450-3000 TELEX (708) 687-1218 FAX (708) 450-3354

Dear Timothy Fidge Spoon Company,

I want to tell you that I like my spoon. It is the best spoon I have ever used. Better than my fork. I am very happy with this spoon. I eat the following foods with my spoon: melon chunks, gelatin, cereal, yams, gravy, corn, pie filling, grapefruit.

Others have commented that this is certainly a nice spoon but I tell them that it’s mine. They will have to get their own.

I would like you to thank everybody there that’s responsible for my spoon. I’m sure many people worked on it and now they should be thanked. People should know that they’re just not looking at spoons all day. That others appreciate them. Would you thank everybody for me? I would appreciate that. Thank you.

I will continue to use my spoon on the following: squash, peas, cantaloupe meat, pudding, gumbo, chili, sandwich slop.

You make a good spoon! Probably the best. I tell everyone that. That the Timothy Fidge Spoon Company makes the best spoon out there! Please thank everyone at your company for me. Would you let me know they were thanked? Thank you. I understand you started out as a small toothpick plant in Maine in the year 1271. I use small toothpicks all the time.

Respectfully,

Ted L. Nancy