Reckless Secrets (26 page)

Oh my God!
I thought, and stepped between Logan and Jason even though Logan hadn't moved.

"What the fuck?" Logan threw the rose on the floor, turned, and raged off, brushing past Lyssa, who was still frozen in place.

"Logan! Logan, come back!" I ran after him, squeezing past Lyssa. I caught him at the door and grabbed his arm to stop him. "It's not what it looks like."

He stared at me with heat and anger in his eyes. "Then what the hell is it, El? Private coffee dates. Secret meetings. This new closeness between you. I just heard you say you love him with my own ears." His laugh was harsh and mirthless. "Do you tell that to all the guys?"

I took a deep breath and said the words I should have from the beginning. But timing is everything. And mine was way off. "Jason's my father!" I hadn't meant to nearly scream it.

Logan stepped back like I'd slapped him. His chest rose and fell quickly as he looked between Jason and me like he was searching for a similarity, anything to verify the truth. His eyes shone with the same betrayal as if Jason and I really were lovers. "I—"

"I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. I came to this school because I knew Jason was here. And he was the most likely candidate for my dad. We just found out recently that he really is."

Logan simply shook my hand off him. "Another secret you kept from me. Were you using me all along to get close to him?" His voice was so cold I almost didn't recognize it.

"No, no! When I met you I didn't even know you knew him." I took a deep breath and tried not to cry. "I knew you'd take it like this. I knew you'd feel this way. I was trying to find a way to tell you—"
 

"You couldn't trust me with the truth. Is there anything you can trust me with?"

"I tried to tell you. I just got in too deep."

He shook his head like he was confused. And I didn't blame him.

"I don't understand," he said.

"I can explain." I rested my hand gently on his arm.

He shook it off. "It's too late. I don't want to hear it. We're done, Ellie. Through." He walked out the door, leaving me trembling in place.

When I turned around, Lyssa was crying and looking at Jason like he'd betrayed her.

I'd ruined everything.
Everything.

Chapter Sixteen

When I stepped back into the office, Lyssa turned to face me with tears streaming down her face. At her feet was the rose Logan had brought for me, looking bruised and beaten, looking like I felt. "Is it true?" she asked.

I nodded, more miserable than I could ever remember being, even after I caught Austin with Mom. "It is. I have the paternity report to prove it."

She turned back to Jason. "How long have you known? When were you going to tell me?"

"Not long." Jason looked miserable. "A couple of weeks."

"A couple of weeks!" Her screamed words were full of anguish.

"I made a mistake. I should have told you. I wanted to tell you—"

I came to his defense. "He did. But the timing was off. How do you tell someone news like this? Look what it just did to Logan and me."

She turned toward the door, looking like she was going to storm off, too. I couldn't let her leave. I had to fix this. I stepped into the door Logan had just left through. "Listen to me,
please
. This isn't Jason's fault. He didn't even know I existed until a few weeks ago."

"You mean all semester," Lyssa said.

I shook my head. "True, in the physical sense. But I mean as his daughter. Let me explain."

"I can't hear it! I can't hear it now." She was angry and upset, but she didn't move.

So I explained, giving her a brief version while Jason walked up behind her and put his arms around her. I expected her to shake him off, push him away, and scream out of the office. But she sagged against him, like she lived for his comfort.

"Who's your mother?" she asked when I finished.

I sighed. "A complete bitch. She's no threat to you, believe me."

Lyssa was still staring at me. "Her name?"

I laughed without mirth, really not wanting to give Lyssa Mom's first name because it was so similar to hers and I had no idea what significance the names had to Jason. "Melissa Carter, I think."

Lyssa's eyes went wide, like she was confused.

"Though it could have changed. Last I heard she was going through her third divorce. She may be back to Melissa Sawyer by now." I looked at Jason, silently begging him to forgive me. Then I went to my desk and grabbed my stuff. "I'll leave you two alone now. I'm sorry. For everything."
 

As I turned to leave, Jason bent, grabbed the rose, and handed it to me. "I'll be in touch."

I took it from him on autopilot, like it wasn't even me reaching for it. And then I left before either of them could protest. I slipped the rose in my backpack, out of sight. I found myself walking in the biting wind and not caring. I had nowhere to turn. Who could I tell without turning them against me? Without them accusing me of not trusting them?

Dex
, I thought.
Dex will understand and not judge.

My cell phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my pocket and, heart racing, answered it without looking to see who was calling, hoping it was Logan. I sounded way too eager when I picked up the call.

"Is this Ellie Martin?"
 

I didn't recognize the female voice. "Yeah?"

"Hi! I'm Jan, a reporter for the student paper? I'm looking into the Dr. Rogers scandal—the prank the day she was arrested, her arrest, her victims. You're in Chem 202, right?"
 

My heart pounded like it was going to burst out of my chest. Dex had warned me about this, but I was in no mood to deal with it. "Yes. But you're wasting your time talking to me. I just go to class. I don't know anything."

Jan laughed. "That's what everyone says. But you're Logan Walker's girlfriend, too, aren't you? My sources say he's come forward as one of the victims, the most high-profile victim. He has quite a story, that baseball injury his freshman year followed by being raped by his chem prof."

Oh, crap! I thought the victims were supposed to remain anonymous. This is going to kill Logan.
 

"I'd love to get together and chat. Hear your side of the story—how Logan's handling the pressure, that sort of thing—"

"I don't know who your sources are, but they have it all wrong. I'm not Logan's girlfriend. Not anymore. And I can't confirm he was one of her victims." My heart pounded, hoping she didn't see through my lie. Or was it a lie? I couldn't confirm it because I wouldn't betray Logan like that, no matter how hurt I was.

"My bad." Jan's tone switched to sympathetic, but I could tell she was on the scent of a story, a new angle to exploit. "But I know you were friends. Tell me about Logan, generally. Anything about him. I promise to leave your name out of it. I keep my sources confidential."

"Go to hell." I hung up and texted Logan a warning, hoping he hadn't blocked my number or something. Hoping he at least read the message.

A reporter named Jan just called me. Someone told her you're one of Dr. Rogers' victims. I didn't tell her anything.

I really needed to talk to Dex. I held my phone the entire way to his dorm, hoping Logan would respond. He didn't.

Dex was in his dorm room playing an online video game with his door opened. I knocked on it softly.
 

He held one finger up to me. "One sec. I just have to blast this bastard." He hit a few keys on his keyboard and broke into the gleeful laugh of a maniacal genius. "Take that, Burning Vengeance." When he looked up and saw me, his face molded into a look of sympathy and horror. "What did Logan do now?"
 

"I'm that easy to read?" I bit back a sob.

"Oh, shit. You're going to cry on me. I suck with crying girls. Let me set my status to offline." He did something on his laptop, got up from his bed, made his way through the mess of dirty clothes and pizza boxes in the overflowing wastebasket, and pulled me into the room, closing the door behind him.

I plopped onto his bed and a sob popped out. "Dex, I'm in so much trouble."

"Shit, what's up?" Dex grabbed a tissue box and handed it to me. "Where are all your girlfriends? Girlfriends are better at dealing with relationship shit than guys."

"This is relationship crap and more. Part of it involves you."

He frowned, puzzled. "Keep me out of this. If Logan is jealous of my animal magnetism, I can't help it."

"Be serious, Dex. I just got a call from that reporter you warned me about. She wanted to know if I knew anything about the prank and—"

"You didn't tell her anything?"

I shook my head. "No, of course not. She was more interested in me because she thought I was Logan's girlfriend." I burst into tears.

"Oh, boy. What do you mean by 'thought'?"

"We broke up. Just…before…she…called." I was making crying gulps between words. "Somehow she found out Logan was one of the victims. I don't know what to do. I texted him to warn him, but he hasn't responded. I know he won't talk to me. And he's out there all alone without even Jason to talk to—"

"Wait, wait a minute! Back up. I'm missing something. Why can't he tell Jason?"

"Because Jason's my dad. And I didn't tell Logan. And that's why he broke up with me. Part of it, anyway."

"Oh, shit," Dex said, looking stunned. "I didn't see that coming. Jason is your dad? How did that happen?"

"The usual way—my mom had sex with Jason. His sperm penetrated my mom's egg and nine months later I popped out." I tried to laugh, but it came out bitter.

"Yeah, I get that part," Dex said. "Have you been drinking?"
 

"No, I wish I had."

"I'm confused," Dex said. "Start at the beginning."

"It's a long story."

"I have all night."

I pulled a tissue out of the box, dabbed my eyes, and related the events of the last two days.
 

Dex interrupted when I got to the part about Byron and the fight Logan and I had over him. "Logan thinks I'm the hero." Dex's voice was pleased and full of tease. "I like that. I
am
rather heroic when you think about it. And even when you don't."

He was trying to coax me out of my depression, but it wasn't working.
 

I let out another sob. "It gets better. There's more."

"There's more?" Dex awkwardly put his arm around me. "I'm listening."

When I was finished, Dex let out a low whistle. "Jason really
is
your dad? That is some serious shit. My little spy, I am totally proud of you. You are almost as devious and deceitful as I am. I knew there was a reason I picked you for my prank team. You have my admiration—getting a job with your probably dad was an awesome prank."

"Shut up," I said, even though I knew he was trying to cheer me up. "It wasn't a prank. I wanted to meet him and find out what he was like before I brought more parental problems on myself." I hiccoughed from crying so much and dabbed at my nose.

"Don't worry," Dex said. "Jason will fix things with his wife and you didn't rat out Logan or us, so you're good. Just stick to the story."

I sagged against the wall. "That's it? That's all your wisdom and advice?"

"You're going to have to get the rest, all the relationship junk, from your girlfriends. I'm no good at that. What experience do I have?"

"They'll be upset I didn't tell them about Jason being my dad."

"They're girls. They'll get over it. They eat drama for breakfast. They'll give you a hundred ways to eviscerate Logan and get back at him. And you'll feel all better."

I couldn't help smiling the tiniest bit. "You think?"

"Yeah."

I wondered what Logan was doing. Had he read my message? Was he worried? As depressed as I was? Would he talk to Collin or Zave? Or Kelsie?
 

"What do guys do after a fight with their girlfriend?" I asked Dex.