Sacred Surrender (16 page)

“I told you, I looked it up.  And I asked one of the guys behind the counter at the bagel shop.” 

Rowan was completely surprised that Madison was not only adventurous enough to go caving, but that she had actually taken the time to plan it.  Erin would have never in a million years gotten her fingernails dirty, much less the rest of her.  He smiled at Madison as she grabbed his hand, pulling him onto the path of worn grass, fallen branches and overgrown brush.  He eagerly followed as she led the way, taking advantage of the flashlight he held in his hand, shinning it on her perfectly rounded ass. 

When they reached the entrance to the cave, he quickly lowered the flashlight as Madison stopped, turning to him.  She reached for the backpack. 

“I thought we’d eat something before we get all dirty in the cave, if that’s okay.” 

“Absolutely,” he said, watching her unpack the bag. 

Madison pulled out a small blanket, handing it to Rowan for him to spread out on the ground.  She then retrieved three plastic containers, one holding chicken, another potato salad, and then the last a mixture of raw veggies setting them on the blue blanket.  As she continued to pull more items out for them, Rowan sat down watching her as she did. 

“How much stuff do you have packed in there and how deep is that damn backpack?” 

A laughed slipped from her lips, “Just a few more things, plates, forks, sodas.” 

As soon as Madison finished setting everything up, they both dug in.  She’d not eaten anything since lunch and her body was starting to feel a little fatigued from it.  They sat for well over an hour eating, talking and soaking up all they could of each other.  As they always did, they talked about their families, their ambitions, what they wanted for their futures.  All subjects were open game when it came to their conversations and Madison loved that about Rowan.  He wasn’t afraid to talk about personal things with her and she found it a huge turn on.  He’d even finally opened up about his mother.  She’d wanted to wrap her arms around him as he explained how she died, how he’d taken on the role of parent with Tessa when his father had all but given up and how when he’d graduated from medical school it had been bittersweet because she wasn’t there to share it with him.  Hearing his voice shake as he spoke, made Madison feel sad for him.  She’d acquired a greater respect for him, knowing what he’d gone through and seeing the man before her now.  He was strong, compassionate, loving and caring because of the impact his mother had on him before she left this world, before he had a chance to grow into a man. 

“Rowan, I’m sure your mother is looking down on you now, proud of the man you’ve become,” she’d told him as she squeezed his hand. 

“I hope so,” he responded glancing away from her. 

They sat for a few moments longer before Madison declared to him that they should get going.  As they packed everything back into the backpack, Rowan grabbed Madison around the waist pulling her into his hard body.  He’d been sitting there enjoying her company and the conversation and when her compassion spilled out after listening to him going on and on about his mother, he wanted nothing more than to place his lips on her.  He couldn’t wait a second longer.  Pulling her tighter into him, he pressed his hard erection against her stomach, his mouth to hers and he savored the rightness of the moment. 

Rowan licked her bottom lip, requesting access to her mouth and taking full advantage of the invitation as she sighed, opening to him.  Their tongues danced as the kiss grew deeper, more passionate.  He felt an overwhelming need to take her there on the blanket that still lay on the ground below them, but he didn’t want to deter her from the plans she had for them. 

“Damn, Madison.  You make me so crazy,” he said breathless. 

“I hope you mean that in a good way,” a smile spreading across her face as she said it.  Of course Madison knew he meant it in a good way.  She could tell by his ragged breaths and the hardness pressed against her that seemed to be growing at a rapid pace.  With his hands still on her hips, she rocked into him, taking possession of his mouth biting his lower lip, then licking the sting away.  Suddenly, Rowan pushed her hips gently away from him, breaking the kiss altogether.  He reached down and pulled the blanket from the ground, noticing the look of shock on Madison’s face.  After placing the blanket back in the pack, he slung it to his back once more. 

“Are you ready to go?” 

Madison’s heart dropped from the apparent rejection.  She wanted so badly to ask him what she’d done wrong.  Did her breath stink?  She fought the urge to cup her hand and breathe into it to see if she did, in fact, have bad breath.  His demeanor changed so quickly she couldn’t help but feel self conscious.  She wanted to ask him, but she couldn’t bring herself to, she was certain she wouldn’t be able to stand it if he expressed anything less than wanting to be with her.  She bit her tongue, grabbed her flashlight and started toward the entrance of the cave. 

“Of course,” she said trying to keep the disappointment and hurt from her voice. 

Rowan leaned in and kissed her on the forehead,  “Let’s go, then.  I’m excited; I haven’t been spelunking in years.” 

Damn, the man was confusing.  Did he want her or not?  Madison was never one to be blunt, she was a beat around the bush kind of girl who avoided conflict at all cost, but she needed to know where she stood with Rowan.  And she wanted to know before they entered the cave with the darkness encompassing them. 

Turning on her heels, she placed an index finger into his perfectly defined muscled chest.  “Wait one minute,”  when he stood without a word looking down at the finger pressed against him, she continued on,  “What are we doing here?”

“I thought you planned this all out?  We’re going spelunking, aren’t we?”  

She shook her head, “No, not tonight, here.  Well, yes, tonight here, but I mean between us,”  she felt overwhelmingly flustered to the point where she was confusing herself. 

“Honestly, Madison, I don’t know.  I mean, I’m scared as hell to put my heart out there again, but I love being with you.  No woman has ever affected me the way you do and I don’t just mean physically.” 

“That’s good enough for me,” she said turning her back to him entering the small entrance into the cave. 

Chapter 16

Smiling as he followed her, Rowan admitted to himself, that the more time he spent with this woman, the harder it became for him to think of anything other than her.  Any other woman would have pressed for more information from him, but not Madison.  No, she accepted what he said and moved on.  She was nothing like any of the other women he’d been in relationships with and he loved it.  She was all woman, but wasn’t afraid to get dirty or swing a wrench.  She was athletic, adventurous, and sexy as hell.  Not to mention, she rocked the hell out of his world in the bedroom.  It had taken all of his self control to break the kiss and pull away from her.  He wanted
her
more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life, but he wouldn’t let this relationship go down the same path all his others had.  There was more to Madison than just a pretty face and a damn sexy body.  Her intelligence, her compassion for others, and her love of life were all infectious and he wanted all of her.  As connected as he felt to her physically, he also felt their hearts intertwining together, meshing the more time they spent just talking or doing everyday things.  He wasn’t ready to dive in heart first and declare his love for her, but Madison was special; that he couldn’t deny. 

Madison felt the temperature drop drastically once they were in the belly of the cave.  She turned to see Rowan pointing the flashlight at her ass and laughed. 

“Find what you were looking for?”  She asked with a smile in her voice. 

“Hell yeah, I did.  And I’m glad I did.”  His laughter filled the cave and echoed off the walls. 

Madison felt her face heat and was thankful for the darkness that surrounded them.  Rowan always had a way of making her body tingle with just his words or heated eyes.  She didn’t mind him knowing how he affected her, but she wanted to share this one activity with him.  Her father used to take her spelunking when she was younger and she loved it.  For some reason she always found peace in the midst of the darkness and she wanted to share that peace with Rowan. 

“Soon we’ll have to start crawling on our bellies.  The cave will narrow before it widens again.  Are you sure you’re up for it?”  She asked him. 

“Absolutely.  I’ll follow you where you take me, my fearless leader,” he responded quickly. 

An hour later, soaked in mud and water from head to toe, they sat on the floor of the small cavern.  Laughter filled the small rock room as Rowan shared story after story of all the adventures and troubles he shared with Cade growing up.  When she’d asked about his dad, Rowan quickly changed the subject, but couldn’t keep the sadness from his eyes.  Although they only had the glow from the flashlights, she’d still seen it.  She wanted to wrap her arms around him and squeeze the sadness from him.  She knew what he felt; she felt it daily because of the loss of her own father.  The difference between her and Rowan was that she found healing in speaking about her loss.  She should have known he wouldn’t be as open to talk about him as he would his mother.  One left his life without a choice; the other abandoned him to his own sorrow.  The alarm from Rowan’s watch broke the silence that suddenly encompassed them.  He quickly shut it off.

When Madison gave him a questioning look, he responded, “Lunch time,” he laughed.  “I have to remind myself to take a break at work; otherwise, I work right through it.” 

Madison loved that about him.   Lazy men had no place in her life; neither did men who thought more of themselves than others did.  Rowan was so opposite of what she was used to.  It had taken her several minutes to get him to talk about his childhood when they had first entered the cavern.  Her heart flipped when his face lit up talking more about Cade than himself.  Rowan was always aware of others needs before his own; she’d seen that first hand when they had gone to Joe’s Crab Shack and how he interacted with Joe.  Madison’s heart filled to overflowing with emotion for this man.  She felt honored to be able to be a part of his life.  Rowan made her want to be a better person.  Sitting there, she was reminded of what her father had told her before she left for college. 

Pumpkin, if you find yourself in a relationship with someone and he only brings out the worst in you, he’s not worth wasting another moment on.  A man worthy of your time should make you want to be at your best.  He will remind you of your strengths, not your weaknesses; he will make you feel like the treasure you are. 

Madison’s vision blurred from the tears welling up.  When she felt a hand on her shoulder she glanced up to see Rowan kneeling before her. 

“What’s wrong?  Did I say something wrong?” 

The concern in his expression and voice shook Madison from her thoughts,  “No, you didn’t say anything wrong.  As a matter of fact, everything is perfect.” 

“Then, why do you look like you are about to cry?  I don’t like causing that look on your face or the tears in your eyes,” he said as he placed butterfly kisses on her eyelids. 

“It’s only because I’m so happy, Rowan.  You make me happy.” 

Rowan shook his head and sat back on his heels,  “I will never understand women.  Just when I think I have you all figured out, you go and throw a wrench in my operation.” 

Madison stood, “Good.  It’s good to know I can keep you on your toes.” 

Kneeling before her, Rowan pulled her close to him, lifting her wet shirts.  He placed kisses on the flat of her stomach, feeling a shiver run through her body,  “Baby, you can keep me anyway you want me,”  he replaced her shirts, standing before her pulling her in for a hug.