SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (29 page)

3. Handcuffs need a key to be opened. Obviously, if you have no key, you have a problem. Most cuffs operate off a standard handcuff key that opens handcuffs, thumbcuffs, and leg irons. I would not buy cuffs that needed a “nonstandard” key. You usually get two keys when you buy a pair of cuffs. Keep one with the cuffs and the other nearby. I keep my spare key on my personal keychain. Some professional dominants keep their main handcuff key on a light chain or leather thong around their neck, with the key tucked into their bra. They also may have a few hidden away that nobody but they know about.

The submissive doesn’t need to know what time it is.

The store where you buy the cuffs can usually sell you extra keys. If you are part of a couple, for example, it might be a good idea for each of you to have a spare key. If the store doesn’t have any extra, most locksmiths do. Spare keys usually sell for one to two dollars. Of course, ifyou buy more than one pair of cuffs, and they all use standard keys, that solves your key problem.

Handcuff keys are excellent, discreet little “signals.” Some people wear them to good effect on neckties, earrings, bracelets, and so forth.

4. Handcuffs are hard and narrow. Handcuffs exert their force over a narrow area, so they can create a great deal of pressure. (Remember that handcuffs which have not been double-locked are especially hazardous in this regard). Unlike coils of rope or leather cuffs, that can distribute the cuffs over a wider area, handcuffs concentrate it. Among other things, this means it’s not wise to use handcuffs in a way that might increase the force by which they’re pressing against the skin. For example, it’s usually a bad idea to secure someone’s hands vertically overhead by using handcuffs. The weight of their arms will pull the hard, narrow cuff into their wrists and this could quickly cause serious injury.

One way of relieving the excess pressure problem that steel handcuffs present is the use of special leather bracelets around the submissive’s wrists and ankles. These bracelets snap on, and consist of two rows of pyramid studs with about one-half inch of space between the rows. The cuffs are applied between the rows. This seems to allow for both security and safety, and might be worth a try. Another tactic is to slip some tubing over the cuffs. I’ve seen this done with plastic tubing that had a special cutout for the hinge and, while there was some range of motion loss, it looked and felt excellent.

Being a dominant is like being a combination of tormentor and nursemaid.

A note about handcuff quality.
Don’t buy cheap handcuffs! You can spot some brands of these instantly because they have a three-link chain between the cuffs instead of the more common two-link chain.

These “toy” cuffs are made of poor material, work sloppily, use a nonstandard key, and are easy to break. You can probably break such a cuff if you lock it shut, grip it with both hands, and apply about a 25-pound pull. They also have a borderline safety locking system, bent metal links instead of welded links, and are just generally junk. Nobody who uses cuffs “for real” uses this design. They are the mark of an amateur. I immediately lose a great deal of respect for a “dominant” who displays a pair of these cuffs.

Another poorer-than-average brand of handcuffs has cuffs that are identical. These cannot be applied evenly, and that can cause problems. In a proper pair of handcuffs, the cuffs themselves are “mirror images” of each other, not “identical twins.” This is also true of leg irons. Inspect cuffs closely on this point before you buy them. “Identical twin” designs are a hassle.

Foreign-made handcuffs, often from Spain, are significantly better. They have a reliable double-lock, the correct type of chain, use a standard key, and generally work like normal cuffs. However, they don’t seem to last long before wearing out.

If you’re going to buy handcuffs, I strongly recommend that you spend the extra money and purchase yourself top-quality, American-made handcuffs. The two best-regarded brands are Peerless and Smith and Wesson. Of the two, I personally prefer the Peerless brand. Both brands are excellently constructed, use a standard key, work beautifully, look great, and last practically forever.

In summary, many people buy handcuffs, but in actual practice they end up using rope and leather cuffs much more often.

Thumbcuffs.
These can be used alone or in combination with handcuffs. They can be applied to thumbs or big toes. Some dominants apply them to the submissive’s penis. (Just be careful about how tightly you crank the cuff.) Some thumbcuffs use a non-standard key, and you know by now how I feel about non-standard keys.

Leg irons.
These can be great fun. They naturally complement handcuffs. A person wearing leg irons can have intercourse, walk fairly well, and even negotiate stairs.

To apply them, have the submissive kneel, and apply the shackles to their ankles with the keyhole facing toward their feet. Some cuffs are made so this cannot be done without an asymmetrical presentation. I suggest you avoid these cuffs.

Leg irons are expensive, but you might want to buy two pairs — or even four pairs — if you wish to chain somebody to a bed.

Note: Leg irons cannot be narrowly locked, so if you attempt to use them on a person who has slender wrists, they may be able to slip out even with the cuffs set at their narrowest setting.

Caution: The locking mechanism on handcuffs and similar devices will not last forever. While good quality cuffs will last a dozen years or more, eventually the locking mechanism will fail and you won’t be able to lock or, more importantly, unlock them with a key. Therefore, buy a hacksaw and at least six top-quality blades (the more teeth to the inch, the better) on the same day that you buy your metal restraints. It’s also very wise to buy a pair of bolt cutters capable of cutting hardened steel. A metal file, a small amount of oil or other lubricant, and a pair of vise-grips or a vise will make the “rescue” much easier.

Leather Cuffs

Like handcuffs, leather cuffs have many pluses and minuses.

One of their major advantages is that they are simple to operate. Many people have trouble learning basic bondage (although a surprisingly little amount of practice goes a long way) but almost anyone can figure out how to apply leather cuffs. A second advantage is that they are fast to apply.

The major disadvantage of cuffs is that they are expensive. As with any purchase, it’s important to comparison shop regarding both quality and price before you buy.

The second disadvantage of leather cuffs is that they are not as precisely adjustable as rope or handcuffs. With most cuffs, you have to choose between one-half to one-inch intervals, as with an ordinary belt. Unfortunately, wrists and ankles are usually only about five to ten inches in circumference, unlike 24-inch or wider waists. A half-inch can therefore make a great difference in determining whether the cuff is too tight or too loose.

Some players prevent this problem by having a set of wrist and ankle cuffs custom-made to a specific submissive’s measurements. These can be presented to the submissive as a special gift if they have been especially pleasing, or as a token of celebration regarding their relationship. Some couples who switch roles have the cuffs designed to fit both of them. These cuffs are sometimes dyed a unique color and monogrammed.

Sometimes it’s easier to learn how to do this with someone who is not your regular partner. It’s a cleaner slate, and allows a purer experience. There’s not all that past history there.

The relatively thick, stiff leather used for cuffs can abrade the underlying skin, so cuffs usually have a lining of softer leather, wool, or fur. (Be careful that this lining isn’t too thick, oryou might not be able to get the cuffs on securely enough.)

fur-lined leather cuffs

Hospital-type leather cuffs and other restraints are some of the best and most reliable you can buy. (Unfortunately, they’re only available in a rather bland institutional brown color.) Some vendors are hostile to SM folks, but others are quite friendly. These restraints are of excellent quality and adjustability. They are expensive, but should last nearly forever. They also use a special key that is long and thin, so be sure you get a few extras.

Obviously, the cuffs need to be attached to something to be effective, so they usually have one or two metal D-rings attached to them. For safety’s sake, these loops should be welded-link, not bent metal.

Simlilarly styled restraints are also available in nylon and nylon/velcro combinations. These are less expensive than leather cuffs but not usually as hot-looking.

Suspension

I like to scare them just a little bit.

Helplessness is the name of the game for many bondage fans. A submissive suspended off the ground is obviously more helpless than one who is not. (We’ve all seen cartoons that show “missionaries” tied by the wrists and ankles to a pole being carried by two “cannibals.”) The basic problem, however, is this: the human body was not designed to support its full weight being suspended from its wrists and ankles. This is particularly true of being suspended off the ground by the wrists alone. Those joints, and/or the elbow and shoulder joints, can be dislocated in fairly short order if this is done to a submissive.

Manyserious suspension fans use leather slings especially designed for this purpose, or “erotic” swings, or special body harnesses that resemble the ones skydivers wear.

In a few cases, we find people who like to be suspended from their ankles alone. Those folks use special .“gravity boots” and related equipment bought at health and fitness stores. The important point here is that this equipment is specifically designed and intended for this purpose, and comes with an instruction manual.

Suspension is an advanced bondage practice that obviously has great potential and great danger. It offers a delicious, entirely new dimension of helplessness and control. Many submissives enter a dreamy, trancelike state while in suspension bondage; they are literally “off the planet.”

It also offers entirely new dangers. Submissives may develop dizziness and nausea while being suspended. Adding a blindfold makes this complication more likely, and placing a blindfolded submissive in a head-down position makes it still more likely. In addition, eyebolts can pull loose, straps — or even chains — can break, and restraints can cut too deeply into flesh. I have heard of many injuries that resulted from suspension bondage accidents.

Safety note: I do not recommend suspending a submissive in any type of head-down position if they have a history of stroke or high blood pressure. Also, some submissives rapidly become nauseated while being placed head-down, and they could vomit. Therefore, it’s a good idea to avoid mixing a gag with head-down suspension, particularly at first.

Also, much suspension bondage requires the submissive’s active cooperation to get into — and, more importantly, to get out of. Dominants who play with suspension much always have a clear, workable plan about how they will free an unconscious (and therefore dead weight) submissive.

two types of panic snap

Special suspension precautions include incorporating a “panicsnap.” This is a special release mechanism that allows two chains (or straps, or whatever) to be released even if they are still under tension. Panic snaps can be bought at many leather stores. You can also find them in boating supply stores (several different models exist for nautical use) and riding equipment stores, sometimes labeled “snap shackles.”

When she was stretched out like that in front of me her skin looked like an artist’s canvas.

Unfortunately, the panic snap is an all-or-nothing device. If you release it, you may still have to cope with the submissive’s unconscious weight. I handled many unconscious people during my ambulance days and (trust me on this) they can be extremely difficult to manage. They’re heavy, “floppy,” move in ways and directions you don’t expect, and are otherwise just damn difficult to control. If you’re trying to get them down on the ground, you have to be careful or they can take you down with them — sometimes even under them! Among other things, this can result in injury to
you
at a time when you especially don’t want to be injured. Having a panic snap is a lot better than having nothing, but you should consider them the first word, not the last word, on the subject.