The Boudoir Bible (35 page)

If the top prefers a bottom’s release to be slow, the bottom’s senses and breathing pattern will gradually readjust to a usual functioning state. If, on the other hand, the cords are released suddenly, the bottom will enjoy a sensory rush, a euphoric sense of liberation. Once all the cords have been removed, the bottom should be invited to relax and revel in the afterglow of the sensual rope bondage session.

FLAGELLATION MAY BE
the most misinterpreted and controversial of all of the transcendental techniques in the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony. Striking the body of another is regularly associated with violence, aggression, and punishment, and for good reason: whips, floggers, crops, and the like were designed not only to drive animals but to torture and punish human beings, so to uphold their use as a means of heightening degrees of sexual satisfaction is a challenging task.

You may have winced over an online depiction of a gory flagellation and wondered how and why anyone would submit himself or herself to such treatment in the name of pleasure. But when it comes to sex, the Internet thrives on extremes that draw attention, and therefore, business. In reality, erotic flagellation can be practiced as a means toward ecstatic sensations
without
causing physical or emotional harm—contrary to those sadomasochistic representations favored by the media, cinema, and the sex industry. When the tools are wielded skillfully—one can even say artistically—flagellation prompts a positive release and exchange of sexual energy.

No matter how “hard” or “soft” lovers play, physical abuse does not properly figure in a truly healthy sexual relationship. This cannot be reiterated enough: the needs, desires, and limits of the partner on the receiving end must be respected at all times. Good tops, whether they are sadists or not, only provide erotic flagellation in a safe, ritualized environment with full knowledge of and appreciation for the bottom’s psychophysiological needs and the tools they are wielding. In the context of the Sexual Ceremony, the sole intent of a top is to transport the bottom, and consequentially himself or herself, toward higher dimensions in the sexual realm. Consent, like good intent, makes the difference between reality and ritual, between ecstasy and agony.

A look at the history of flagellation reveals the technique’s once highly respected powers. Pre-Judeo-Christian cultures did not reserve the whip for purposes of punishment or torture alone; flagellation was used to purify and heal the body and absolve the spirit. Shamans from Siberia to Mesopotamia and from Africa to the Americas used flagellation in initiation rites of passage, and in many parts of the world the practice continues today. Ritualized whipping might still be used to avert evil spirits, ensure fertility, ease the pain of childbirth, or open a portal into the spiritual realm.

Pagan cults that worshipped the god Dionysus in Greece and Diana the Huntress in Rome practiced ritualized flagellation to induce euphoria and facilitate sexual transcendence. Even the Christian priesthood adopted flagellation—pagan practices for attaining heightened states of consciousness are often at the foundation of Christian rituals. However, unlike their pagan ancestors, these ascetic holy fathers practiced (and preached!) flagellation solely for the purpose of self-punishment. Ritual flagellation was performed by the faithful in private as well public ceremonies and even parades. Impure acts or thoughts were allegedly driven out of the spirit by the beatings. Those who enjoy erotic flagellation could conclude that this “punishment” was the means for ascetics to realize unfulfilled and
denied sexual desires, as the effects of flagellation not only induce endorphin elation but also, for some individuals, provoke orgasm. Some aficionados of erotic flagellation actually prefer the pleasures of the whip to those of intercourse and penetration.

Corporal punishment was always the primary purpose of flagellation in Judeo-Christian cultures. However, during the period of the European Enlightenment, approximately 1650 through 1800, doctors began to prescribe the technique as a remedy for sluggish constitutions, to revive the senses, and as a cure for male impotency.

Flagellation’s association with sexual pleasure was not fully recognized, and thus not officially condemned, until the end of the nineteenth century, when the medical community categorized erotic flagellation as deviant or “abnormal” sexual behavior. But this has never stopped people from seeking the pleasures of the whip! Erotic flagellation was considered to be a predominantly English tradition—even called by other Europeans “the English vice”—probably instigated by the once-accepted practice of corporal punishment of children in schools. Up through the 1950s, London was the city most renowned in Europe for accessible “spanking houses” and public “whipping clubs,” where flagellation could be practiced openly, even as a group pleasure.

In reality, sexually mature adults who appreciate erotic flagellation come from all corners of the earth; rarely have these flagellation aficionados been chastised at home or school or been victims of other forms of abuse or violence. If you have longed to experience the exhilarating effects of spanking, whipping, or flogging but have refrained for fear of being labeled or hurt, now is the time to invite your partner to help you shed your shame, dissolve your fears, and make your fantasy a guiltless reality. Share
The Boudoir Bible
with your partner; help him or her
understand that your desire to experience erotic flagellation, either as top or bottom, is within the parameters of healthy sexual behavior.

Though most of the tools and techniques of erotic flagellation (see
plate XV
) serve to stimulate specific areas of the body with precision, their psychophysiological impact is paradoxically all encompassing. The proficient provision of sensations with soft whips, floggers, riding crops, and similar instruments heightens the bottom’s perceptive capacity and awakens his or her every sense. When purveyed skillfully by the top, in alternation with genital pleasures, flagellation prompts the blood to circulate readily throughout the entire body—not just to the areas that are directly stimulated. The sexual vibration mounts and begins to radiate from its source, charging the entire body with the erotic pulse. This makes the technique a wildly ecstatic and invigorating theme for any session, as well as a promising prelude to other ceremonial pleasures.

Novices to erotic flagellation should refrain from pushing limits—their own or anyone else’s—before they have discovered what these limits are, which is only possible through practice. Skilled tops neither insist that the bottom submit unconditionally to his or her whip hand nor impose the more extreme forms of flagellation upon an occasional partner or novice.

As with the other transcendental techniques, this practice is an act of trust. Its bonding powers are strengthened by the top’s impeccable degree of control (and good aim) but also through excellent communication skills, as elaborated in the chapter “
Honor Each Other: Safety
,” a must-read before exploring flagellation.

Erotic flagellation demands a certain amount of anatomical understanding in order to be administered skillfully and, thus, safely. The
fleshy areas of the body will have a more positive, erotic response to flagellation, with the buttocks being the only area of the body that can be lovingly whipped, spanked, or flogged without posing any real risk of putting a bottom in danger. But before dwelling on the delights of the derrière, it’s essential to know the parts of the body that should simply never be struck with anything other than a feather!

Like the “no” zones of sensual rope bondage, detailed in the chapter “
Abandon Yourself: Erotic Restraints
,” the “no” zones for erotic flagellation (see
plate IX
) are those areas of the body where blood vessels lie close to the surface: the neck, the back of the knees, the crook of the elbows, the inner wrists, the armpits, the fine skin of the ankles, and the groin area. Striking these zones, no matter how lovingly, can be dangerous—so caress, tickle, and kiss, but don’t whip!

The same rule applies to the entire circumference of the waist, no matter how fleshy it may be. All vital organs are vulnerable, so do not risk bruising the intestines, stomach, liver, or kidneys, which lie within the vulnerable waistline’s soft walls. Also to be avoided are the areas where bones lie close to the surface: the shins, collarbone, the spinal column, the ribs, the fingers and toes, and the fragile tailbone—these areas will rarely incite an erotic response, and striking at bones can reap grave consequences. There are two unusual exceptions—the sternum and the sacrum, which will be explored in detail with the techniques of erotic cropping.

The face is also off-limits, but for one controversial exception: the slap. Certain lovers may enjoy the administration of a perfectly aimed and impeccably timed lust slap (done with the tips of the fingers,
not
the palm of the hand). The psychological impact of face slapping is more intense than the sensation itself. If your lover wishes to explore the psychophysiological effects of a carefully calculated lust slap, he or she should dare to ask for it, and your target must be the center of the fleshiest area of your wanton lover’s cheek. Slapping any other zone of the face, including the ears, is dangerous. The timing
of a slap is so crucial to its positive reception. I would recommend that this gesture be reserved for partners who enjoy its effects, and only if they simply adore each other and are both highly sexually aroused! These conditions are pertinent to the use of any instrument of erotic flagellation. Aside from the target of the careful hand, however, the head, the neck, and the face are always to be considered strictly off-limits … unless the bottom is invited to kiss a warm whip, crop, or flogger to express his or her gratitude!

The highly sensitive inner arms and the inner thighs, like the sides of the torso and the breasts, are very delicate areas of the body, and while not strictly off-limits during every form of flagellation, they need to be approached with caution. The palms of the hands and soles of the feet are highly charged with nerve endings and may be sweetly cropped or whipped to delight, but high-impact blows are to be avoided. The
Kama Sutra
encourages lovers to flagellate the muscular areas of the shoulders, the upper back, the hips, and the torso, as well as the buttocks. When striking these areas of the body, the top’s aim must be precise enough to strike at the shoulder muscles and not the shoulder blades; the upper back and the muscles that sustain the spine but not the waist or the spinal column itself; the hips but not the hip bones; and the muscles of the upper chest but not the breasts, collarbone, or neck.

Until the top is a skilled master of the wielded tool, he or she will want to concentrate most of the attention on the bottom’s bottom—not only the safest place to administer any form of erotic flagellation but, for many, the most erogenous spot to receive such attentions. As the muscles of the buttocks are the largest in the body, they are more tolerant to direct, intense contact.

Not to be ignored is that lower portion of the buttocks that meets the backs of the legs, known as “the sweet spot” (see
plate XIV
). This area contains a great number of nerve endings, some of which are connected to the glands of the genitals, both the
penis and the clitoris. Stimulating the sweet spot is therefore an indirect means of stimulating the genitals, which explains why erotic flagellation can inspire heightened sexual arousal as well as orgasm.

The buttocks may be tantalized by every tool and technique available to inspired lovers, but there is nothing that can compare to the invigorating dance of the whip hand and other tools. But before the top commences to “cherry” the well-aroused bottom’s cheeks, locate the bottom’s sacrum—the triangular bone that lies at the base of the spine. From there, run the fingers down to the coccyx, or the tailbone. This tapered end of the spinal cord is fragile enough to break under the impact of a poorly delivered stroke and should never be struck.

Tops must make certain that the bottom is in a stable position, one that will permit him or her to respond, without injury, to the impact of every stroke and strike. If sensations are to be administered for a psychological response—for example, in the context of role-play that might explore ritualized humiliation—the bottom may be put into a position that reflects the motivation for the spank, whip, or flog. The interrelation of the top’s and the bottom’s bodies will be determined not only by the tool or technique but also by the session’s encompassing motivation.

Even though the tools and techniques of erotic flagellation automatically reinforce the roles of top and bottom, not everyone is ready to delve into the psychology of subservience. Bottoms who are seeking only a sensory experience are not likely to appreciate being pulled over the top’s knee like a naughty child. Nor will this bottom feel comfortable in the classic “schoolboy” position: bending over at the waist to grasp the ankles. (Note that this position compromises the bottom’s balance, and it should never be used when high-impact
sensations are in store.) Lovers who do not wish to explore the deeper psychological effects of erotic flagellation may prefer less theatrical positions: if you are such a bottom, stand and brace yourself with your hands against a wall, with your feet about shoulders’ width apart, or bend over a sturdy piece of furniture or go down on all fours. Bent positions provide perfect access to the buttocks as well as to the ever-enchanting genitals. They also stretch the skin, bringing nerve endings and blood vessels closer to the surface, therefore enhancing sensitivity.