The Boudoir Bible (16 page)

Note that simply sliding one or two fingers into the vagina will not call the G-spot into action; the area responds to direct and persistent contact. Once the G-spot’s responses become familiar, try another object—a partner’s penis or fingers, a diletto, or what is commonly known as a G-spotter.

Women, if your pleasure builds to the point of a G-spot orgasm, embrace its unequaled sensations. If, on the other hand, a clitoral orgasm rises on your sexually charged horizon, keep from succumbing to its pleasures—peak and surf its crest, but try to back off before the orgasmic wave actually breaks. This will prompt a surge of ejaculate fluid in the prostate while driving the sexual tension even higher. After all, patience is a virtue; peaking is not a denial of your pleasures but an enhancement in the context of extended playtime, and the results are likely to push you over the edge of ecstasy.

If your partner uses his penis or his or her fingers to penetrate you, he or she will perceive the various degrees of sensation that the vagina’s tensing, gentle pushing, and relaxing will provide. This warm, wet genital embrace has the added advantage of enhancing your partner’s levels of excitement as well as yours. But note that, given the length of time needed to generate the ecstatic conditions that build up ejaculate fluid within the female prostate and provoke its emission, a man must be careful to avoid passing “the point of no return.” Consider that even an experienced femme fontaine may require anywhere from thirty to forty minutes to completely awaken the G-spot and attain the degrees of arousal that lead to emission. This holds particularly true when she has not engaged in sexual contact for some time.

Deep thrusts provide for deep pleasures, but as the G-spot lies just inside the entryway to the vaginal canal, shallower thrusts will stimulate the area more directly. Shallower thrusts will also stimulate a man’s glans and heighten his levels of sensitivity and arousal. Men can execute the manual methods of ejaculation control at any time during the ceremony’s progression, when necessary. For example, the “squeeze method” at the base of the penis, described in the chapter “
Riding the Orgasmic Wave: Male Ejaculation Control
,” allows the man to avoid surpassing “the point of no return,” possibly even experiencing an internal orgasm, while he continues to provide the pleasures of penetration. The squeeze method also increases the fullness of the erection and permits the male partner to take a more direct and decisive aim at his target—the G-spot. If things get too hot to handle, he may opt to provide manual stimulation or use a diletto or G-spotter until he regains control.

The G-spot may also be stimulated indirectly through the fine inner membrane that separates the rectum from the vaginal canal during anal sex. Do not forget that anal-to-vaginal contact is absolutely forbidden, whether it is performed with the fingers, the penis, or any other tool. If either you or your partner have touched the anus, you must wash your hands, remove your latex gloves, or change the condom before touching the vulva or the vagina—careless anal-to-vaginal contact is almost guaranteed to result in vaginal infection. Vaginal irritation and a trip to the pharmacy should not be what women wake up to after an evening of transcendental sex!

During G-spot stimulation, the intensity of the strokes should gradually increase, echoing the woman’s levels of arousal and sensitivity. Firm pressure and more decisive strokes will soon cause distinct tingling sensations to emanate from the highly aroused G-spot. The sensations are also
commonly described as flutters, pulses, or chills, and some women wrongly associate them with the need to urinate. In reality, these signals from the pelvic splanchnic nerve represent the first phase of the G-spot orgasm, as well as the first signs of imminent ejaculation. Learning to relax into the sensations of G-spot stimulation, rather than suppressing them, will open an entirely new dimension in the pleasure realm.

Women, because these signals from the pelvic splanchnic nerve are commonly misinterpreted as a pressing need to urinate, make sure to relieve yourself before beginning the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony (and at any other time you feel the need during the course of it). Soon you will learn to recognize the difference between G-spot sensations and those that signal the need to empty your bladder.

If the G-spot is stimulated continuously, the tingling sensations emanating from it will increase in intensity. Women should breathe into these sensations and try to visualize their vibrating force. This will coax the sensations to spread down to the toes and out to the fingertips. They may even radiate straight up to the top of the head. Women, the more you are mentally present and aware of these sensations, the more sexual energy will build and flow throughout the entire body. Let your lover know just how good he or she is making you feel when you begin to sense the radiating, full-body effects of G-spot stimulation, as they are a very clear indication that your pleasure is peaking and emission is imminent.

Even though the degree of ecstatic pleasure that you begin to experience may seem unbearable, you or your partner should continue to stimulate the G-spot. When pleasure peaks, consciously prevent your PC muscle from tensing. Instead, as you do in the PC muscle flex, push the muscle gently downward and then relax the PC muscle completely. This “push and relax” technique is intrinsic to a woman’s ability to ejaculate or squirt. Those who eventually unveil the powers of G-spot stimulation that lead to emission will find that this technique will become natural, if not automatic, with experience.

Developing greater PC muscle strength increases a woman’s awareness of her genitals, intensifying her overall perception of the pleasures that genital stimulation provides. Flexing the PC muscles as an exercise, as described in the chapter “
The Genital Gym: Strengthening the Pubococcygeal Muscle
,” helps to retrain the body to respond positively to ejaculation and squirting. During the heightened pleasures in the Sexual Ceremony, flexing the PC muscle will prompt the flow of ejaculate fluid into the prostate.

Most women actually cannot emit while they are being penetrated deeply or when direct pressure is applied to the G-spot. In time, you and your partner will learn to anticipate the point of emission, signaled by fluttering sensations and the complete relaxation of the vaginal walls. At first, you may need to guide your lover, either physically or verbally, but over time, he or she will learn to interpret and respond effectively to the downward push of the vaginal walls. At this time, the object of penetration should be pulled out to the very edge of the vaginal opening. If sexual tension has mounted gradually, and the orgasm (or orgasms) and all of the pleasures that lead to its exhilarating manifestation have been embraced, you and your partner are likely to witness the phenomena of female emission.

But women, if you do not experience emission, don’t put pressure on yourself. Resume stroking your G-spot in the same deep, decisive manner or invite your partner to continue to stroke it, or divert your attention to other forms of stimulation and try again later. Sexual tension will continue to mount as long as you continue to play.

In the case that you and your lover succeed in opening the levee of the sacred river, revel in the liberating and, needless to say, wet sense of release and overall well-being it instills. After you have bathed in the afterglow, you will probably feel inclined to thank your lover for his or her generosity by providing some of your own undivided attention.

No matter what kind of stimulation is provided, as long as the woman continues to be aroused, fluid will continue to be produced within the prostate. If partners engage in the pleasures of penetration once again, they are likely to discover that the G-spot is highly sensitive to even the most subtle forms of contact, and ejaculation and squirting can now become integrated into the extended playtime of the ceremony.

As female ejaculation does not impose a refractory period, it does not slow the progression of the Sexual Ceremony, and ejaculation may occur again and again over the course of the ceremony’s evolution. In that case, the time between a woman’s consecutive emissions is likely to diminish, and the quantity of the liquids that each emission generates may also be augmented. These elements will also depend upon the levels of sexual skill, awareness, and acceptance as well as the degrees of arousal and desire of both partners.

After repeated and particularly abundant emissions, some women may experience the equivalent of men’s “little death,” the need to rest and recuperate. Others may have a sudden craving for mineral-rich foods. (I personally crave oysters and anchovies!) Women, allow your body to be your guide; take an intermission in the Sexual Ceremony if you feel the need, and, throughout the ceremony, remember to drink plenty of mineral water. Female squirting can result in the loss of a lot of precious fluid.

During intense periods of ecstatic stimulation and repeated ejaculation or squirting, women are likely to experience unprecedented degrees of genital swelling and sensitivity. Lovers, on that occasion, use a handheld mirror to get a view of the genitals and share in the vision. Plump with love, all of the visible elements of the clitoral system will be engorged and highly receptive to touch. The tissues surrounding the urethra may even swell to dimensions comparable in size to the clitoris. When the G-spot and the U-spot are thus engorged with excitement and
highly sensitized, they may be stimulated orally to ecstatic effect, provoking U-spot and G-spot orgasms, as well as emission.

Repeated ejaculation, in combination with multiple orgasms—whether they occur in association with each other or separately as a response to heightened degrees of pleasure—will provoke a surge of endorphins into the bloodstream and incite a sexual high. Over long periods of arousal, an uninterrupted free flow of sexual energy may also be induced, which has been described as an extended or massive orgasm. This is what men experience when they learn to ride the waves of climax over and over again during long periods of arousal.

Instigating the buildup of emissions takes time, skill, and loving attention, and some women may simply need more time to awaken their G-spot than others. And not everyone can shed the negative repercussions that the pleasure taboo has heaped upon bodies, minds, and spirits over the past two thousand years. However, partners who refrain from creating performance anxiety and regularly practice direct G-spot stimulation are likely to experience the prostatic flux sooner or later.

Also with practice, partners will discover the sexual positions that are most favorable to G-spot orgasms and emission. Some women may prefer to be on top of male partners, while others will respond when they are penetrated from behind. Some like reclining in a sling—a form of hammock designed to either hang from the ceiling or from a four-post structure—or sitting on a high countertop that puts their genitals at the height of their partner’s object of penetration, be it a penis, finger, or diletto. This position allows both partners to see everything—from her (and his) swollen sex to her jets of ecstasy. There are no rules—experiment, enjoy the journey, and transcend together!

EXPLORING THE
long-forbidden frontier of the anus and learning to enjoy anal stimulation are not essential to the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony, but I encourage all lovers, whatever their sexual orientation, to set aside anal taboos. The anus, composed of erectile tissues that are charged with nerve endings, has the potential to provide unique, ecstatic sensations, and it goes without saying that the organ’s proximity to the genitals also renders it impossible to ignore! After all, the anus is a part of our anatomy, and anal stimulation—whether it leads to penetration or not—can be considered another option in the vast repertoire of pleasures that lovers may enjoy during the Sexual Ceremony.

Part of the goal of this chapter is to dismantle the taboos that surround the “rosebud” (as it is affectionately called by the British)—taboos that inhibit many from partaking in the ecstatic joys of anal
stimulation. Because many lovers avoid the anus for fear of encountering feces, this chapter also explores methods of anal hygiene in preparation for the pleasures that lie ahead on our sexual horizons.

Because the anus is a source of shame and inhibition for many, verbal or physical consent is crucial before attempting to give or receive any form of anal stimulation, even between partners who are normally receptive to such pleasures. As needs and desires change from day to day, what gives someone bliss one day might not be the case the next.

The sexual preferences and behaviors of pre-Abrahamic cultures were influenced less by questions of morality than by freely chosen personal tastes. The Greeks and Romans did not consider the anus a taboo area, nor did they associate anally derived pleasures solely with homosexuality. However shocking it may be to us today, pederasty between a teacher and his students was seen as a means to impart wisdom. In his
The History of Sexuality
, a three-volume work published between 1976 and 1984, the philosopher Michel Foucault explains that there were no homosexuals in the ancient world, only homosexual acts and practices. What we call bisexuality today was considered to be a normal expression of sexuality—a natural, erotic response to truth, beauty, and virtue. Homosexual acts between sexually mature adults, male or female, were tolerated, if not accepted, although those who engaged exclusively in same-sex relations were viewed under slightly less favorable terms. The most blatant exception to this rule can be found in Plato’s
The Symposium
. Plato argued that armies should ideally be composed of same-sex lovers. The Sacred Band of Thebes was formed with three hundred male soldiers who met this prerequisite; they were renowned in the ancient world for their dauntless courage in battle. I like to believe that it was the invaluable sentiment of love
and their vital desire to continue loving that led these men to be such heroic fighters!