The Boudoir Bible (13 page)

Partake in solo masturbation rituals, men, to learn to avoid the point of no return. No matter the method you use, always remember to stay in the moment and focus your thoughts on the exhilarating sensations that the flux of the sexual energy in the genitals incites. (In other words, don’t follow the common practice of distracting yourself with non-erotic thoughts!) Be aware of your breathing: breathe with deep, steady inhalations and exhalations. This encourages the flow of fresh, oxygenated blood throughout the
entire body, enhancing your pleasure as well as your sense of mental presence and clarity, which is essential to the techniques of ejaculation control. And remember not to judge or put yourself under pressure to “perform.” With ecstatic practice, you are guaranteed to become a master of the delights of delay. During the solo masturbation ritual make a point to “peak,” that is, to repeatedly push your orgasmic limit but without going over the edge. Peaking allows you to mount sexual tension gradually and to great heights.

Once you have learned to recognize and respond effectively to your body’s built-in ejaculation messenger, you will be able to share the delights of delay in the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony. When the orgasmic wave is finally permitted to flow and ebb, the radical benefits of delay, in comparison to the fleeting gratification of fast PGO sex, will be evident.

As men begin to master the following techniques, emission may occur not only externally but also internally; that is, semen will not exit the body through the urethral opening. Men may experience sensations that are similar to those they feel when they orgasm in association with the emission of semen, but instead of the fluid exiting the body, it is diverted from the prostate and goes directly into the bladder. The erection will subside, and before the Sexual Ceremony can resume, the man will be obliged to submit to a refractory (or rest) period, exactly as if he had ejaculated externally.

The results of internal emission can be observed: urinate directly afterward into a transparent container, and you will immediately note the cloudiness of your urine, caused by the presence of semen. Internal emission does not present any health risks or other side effects, but it is not the goal of ejaculation control.

Mastering the Pelvic Lock

The techniques of ejaculation control demand a toned PC muscle. All of the techniques of ejaculation control are to be practiced in coordination with the pelvic lock—the conscious contraction of the PC and the sphincter muscles described as the “PC muscle flex” in the chapter “
The Genital Gym: Strengthening the Pubococcygeal Muscle
.” Men who master the manual techniques in coordination with the pelvic lock may eventually find that executing only the pelvic lock (albeit with acute mental awareness and controlled breathing patterns) will often suffice to inhibit the ejaculation reflex. Refining your skills to this degree has a great advantage—that of leaving your hands free to perform other tantalizing tasks!

Practice the PC muscle flex regularly, and, over time and with practice, avoiding the point of no return will become as simple as refocusing one’s thoughts. Men, to magnify the effects of the pelvic lock, spread your legs wide apart when you tighten the PC and sphincter; this will serve to minimize the pressure that the PC and sphincter muscles usually apply to the prostate and to the vas deferens, the duct that propels semen from the testicles through the male genital organ system, just before ejaculation.

Vibrating with the Finger Lock

Like the pelvic lock, the finger lock manipulates the vas deferens, but it does so through direct pressure. The ancient Taoist master Lu the Immortal ordered his disciples to swear an oath that they would not divulge the potent secret of this technique to the uninitiated. In accordance with the mission of this book, please consider this an initiation, and feel free to divulge!

When executed skillfully, the finger lock inhibits the reflexive contractions of the vas deferens, preventing the outward journey of seminal fluid during both the first and second phases of the orgasm. The portion of the vas deferens that we are concerned with corresponds to an acupuncture point, which is located in the perineal wall, just in front of the anus. Composed of strong, smooth muscles, the vas deferens’s ridged, tubular shape is approximately ⅛ of an inch (3 millimeters) in diameter.

PLATE V
IMPLEMENTS FOR PENETRATION

PLATE VI
BONDAGE SESSION WITH ANAL PLEASURE

PLATE VII
INSTRUMENTS FOR MALE EJACULATION CONTROL

PLATE VIII
ROLE-REVERSAL SESSION WITH STRAP-ON DILETTO

Men, as soon as you (or your partner) perceive a sign of imminent ejaculation, press the area in front of the anus firmly with the fingers until the fingertips sink approximately one knuckle deep into the engorged tissues. This procedure, which inhibits emission, can also be used to divert the ejaculate fluid back into the prostatic region (just in the nick of time!). Some men find that using the knuckles rather than the fingertips provides a deeper degree of pressure. Folding the knees up to the chest may also facilitate your reaching this portion of the perineum. With practice, the position and the means that work best for each individual will be revealed.

To ride the crest of the orgasmic wave for as long as you possibly can, keep from ejaculating by concentrating on the sensations evoked by applying pressure to the vas deferens through the perineal wall. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself vibrating to the vigorous pulsations and ecstatic sensations that are produced by the prostate gland during orgasm, but without actually emitting fluid. This is the essence of internal and multiple male orgasms! Breathe deeply, continue to execute the pelvic lock in coordination with the finger lock, and enjoy the ecstatic sensations.

To ensure even more control over the ejaculation reflex, many ancient Taoist texts encourage assuming the hysterical arch, which I call the “control arch” in reference to male lovers: arch your back like a female porn star, clench your teeth, and close your eyes, elongating your neck and pressing your tongue hard against your upper palate. The control arch short-circuits blood flow to the genitals and inhibits orgasm; while it works to the disadvantage of
women, in the context of male ejaculation control, this position greatly benefits both ceremonial partners.

The Taoist master Tung recommended another control technique: The man should close his eyes and focus on the sensations. Pressing his tongue against the roof of his mouth, he should bend his back and stretch his neck. Opening his nostrils wide and drawing back his shoulders, he should then close his mouth and draw in his breath through his nostrils. This will stop him from ejaculating and cause his semen to ascend upward.

One of my favorite Taoist lessons involves another acupuncture point: the
pin yi
, which is located in the middle of the right breast, approximately 2 to 3 inches (5 to 7 centimeters) above the nipple. Pinpoint the location of this sensitive zone within a solo masturbation ritual by applying firm, direct pressure to the area with one or two fingertips. Once you find your pin yi and are illuminated by its power to help you “short-circuit” your emission, enlighten your partner!

Incorporate into your own style any of the gestures that have been explored thus far. By facilitating your ability to delay ejaculation, they will help to make the shared pleasures of your journey into the heights of the now potentially transcendent sexual dimension all the more exciting and fulfilling!

Sharing the Ball Lock

Another manual technique is called the ball lock, which can be employed by the man in question or his partner. As soon as the scrotum begins to draw up close to the body, encircle the entire portion of the scrotum that lies closest to the base of the penis and the perineum with the thumb and forefinger. Carefully trapped in this ringlike grip, the scrotum can be drawn downward and away from the body, inhibiting the sperm from exiting the testicles. Depending on the size of your scrotal sack, you may need to draw the testicles down one at a time. Once the risk of ejaculation has passed, the sensitive
skin of the scrotum, now stretched tightly around the testicles, can be licked, sucked, scratched, tickled, and caressed to your delight. Your partner must just be careful of the delicate skin of the scrotum and take great care to avoid pushing the testicles upward toward the body; as any man can tell, it will inflict excruciating pain!

Perfecting the Squeeze Method

The squeeze method is a Taoist and Tantric technique that is commonly prescribed by sex therapists to retrain patients who suffer from premature ejaculation. The technique is performed on the head of the penis as soon as the first sign of the point of no return is signaled. Apply decisive, direct pressure with the thumb and forefinger just below the ridge of the glans. The technique is more effective if pressure is applied only at the front and back of the penis, not at the sides. Once you have perfected the gesture, the same degree of pressure may be applied at the very base of the shaft, again at the front and back, not at the sides. By redirecting the point of pressure from the base of the gland to the base of the shaft, the squeeze method can also be practiced during penetration.

At this point, most of you are probably wondering if the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony is anti-male ejaculation, and the answer is no, of course not! Male partners who learn to control their ejaculation reflex and peak skillfully can ride the crest of the orgasmic wave over and over again throughout the ceremony. When they finally do allow themselves to surpass the point of no return, whether they actually ejaculate or not, earth-shattering effects are guaranteed.

Regulating ejaculation is crucial for shaping the phases of the Sexual Ceremony. For example, if partners intend to play for three
hours, which is the ideal minimum, men should try to refrain from ejaculating until the very end. If the ceremony is organized to last more than three hours, men need to regulate emission in such a way as to permit the ceremony’s harmonious evolution. But while it is ideal that emission occur at the end of the ritual, any time over-arousal results in emission, consider it an intermission in the Sexual Ceremony—enjoy taking care of each other in different ways. Once the refractory period has passed and the male partner becomes receptive to genital or full-body stimulation again, the ceremony can be resumed.