The Boudoir Bible (28 page)

Delectable love bites and careful yet passionate cat scratches can be used to test a bottom’s growing receptivity and send thrilling chills up and down the spine. If these forms of stimulation incite a positive response, the top may be assured that more intense forms of stimulation than tickling will be appreciated.

Your lover may enjoy having his or her feet, head, back, or buttocks carefully bitten and scratched. Other areas of the body that may be bitten as well as scratched include the shoulders, the upper arms, and the backs of the legs. The neck will also respond vividly to careful love bites. The sensitive skin of the penis, when erect, and the scrotum, when tightened, can be carefully scratched to delight. Avoid biting these areas, however, unless your lover requests such attention.

Keep in mind that while long fingernails may be effective in erotic tickling and scratching, they are not well adapted to other forms of hand-to-body contact, particularly when the female genitals or the anus of either sex is involved. (Keeping the nails on both the fingers and the toes short not only avoids having lovers unintentionally injure each other, it also broadens the range of sensations that can be provided manually.) With a little bit of imagination, a myriad of alternatives to long fingernails can be found. While classic backscratchers that terminate with miniature hands are an effective and obvious solution, take the time to poke around in antique boutiques and Asian-themed gift shops for other exquisite possibilities. Miniature appetizer forks in sterling silver and bamboo, vintage cocktail ornaments, wooden hair ornaments, and decorative combs can all find a new and decidedly more ecstatic purpose in the boudoir. A little research will lead to the discovery of a variety of aesthetic sources of erotic scratching.

No matter which instrument you choose, make sure that it is not too sharp or pointed. Test the object on your own forearm before putting
it into ceremonial action on your partner’s skin. Unlike tickling, which elicits a rosy color, scratching and love biting can leave very distinct marks that may take anywhere from an hour to a few days to disappear. Since leaving marks on a lover’s body is not always appropriate, it’s best to establish this limit before the ceremony commences. Some lovers enjoy being marked and consider the traces of a passionate round of Paradise Found souvenirs of ecstasy. In the case that your attentions have left undesired marks, soothe them with an ice pack. If the skin is chafed or scratched, apply an antiseptic cream.

One of the greatest benefits of experimenting in the ritualized context is that coming to appreciate new sensations broadens sexual horizons. Even the most adamant of anti-ticklers has been known to convert to the powers of the feather. Once a top has skillfully mapped out the bottom’s sensory landscape, the shared act will have unveiled physical limits as well as the “hot” spots. Taking “the long way around” in the sensual journey will lead you both straight to Paradise.

HIGHLY SENSITIVE SURFACES
of the body such as the nipples, the shaft of the penis, and the labia majora respond vividly to intense sensations. These small areas of flesh can be carefully constricted with the fingertips or with clamps to call upon the erotic powers of the endorphin rush.

Making love prompts the production of oxytocin, but nipple stimulation and nipple constriction will cause this potent natural antidepressant to surge into the bloodstream. Scientific research has revealed that this hormone, also released during orgasm, plays a fundamental role in sexual bonding, so to encourage its flow with erotic intent not only feels good but also reinforces the intimate bond with your partner.

Women’s nipples are connected directly to the genitals by the nervous system and “light up” the pleasure centers in the brain in much the same way genital stimulation does—it is for this reason that some women can actually orgasm from their stimulation. Women’s nipples
become even more sensitive during ovulation, and their sensitivity gradually decreases with the onset of the monthly cycle.

While male nipples are considered to be less sensitive than female nipples, some men find their stimulation extremely arousing. Male or female, constricting the erectile tissue that forms the nipples will incite an endorphin rush.

Lovers who enjoy having their nipples pinched and pulled are likely to enjoy the more intense degrees of sensation that clamps can provide (see
plate X
). The fact that they leave the hands of the pleasure provider free to roam is one advantage of these little tools. Clamps are commonly associated with BDSM “edge play,” erotic-play practices that push one’s threshold for pain. But the pain or pleasure will vary according to the device’s design.

Mind you, there are clamps, and there are
CLAMPS
! One should never be fooled by appearances; even the daintiest of these devices can make a
big
sensory impact. Nipple clamps come in many shapes and sizes and provide anywhere from moderate to extreme sensations, depending on the degree of constriction they cause and the quantity of flesh they seize. In some cases, the smaller the bite, the meaner they are!

Like most of the instruments that stimulate the body beyond the genitals, nipple clamps are now readily available online. But rarely if ever do they arrive in the mailboxes of adventurous patrons with instructions for their safe use. Yet in order to incite the most positive response and avoid injury, lovers must follow certain guidelines when using nipple clamps.

Nipple clamps, like any implement of desire designed for more intense stimulation, should be used only in the context of extended playtime. Leave them on the altar or bedside table until your lover, who
has already consented to the use of their constrictive grip to push the limit between pleasure and pain, is truly well aroused. Otherwise, he or she may be unable to withstand their initial, intense impact.

If you are a novice to the power of the clamp, or you do not wish to make the investment, wooden clothespins (the kind with metal springs) make an excellent alternative and are a good introduction to the powers of constriction. Do not use clothespins made of plastic, however; these can damage the skin and are less aesthetically pleasing. Unless your lover enjoys intense degrees of constriction, use the standard size. As adorable as they are, the miniature variety can be more aggressive than the standard clothespin, as they pinch smaller areas of flesh.

No matter what you decide to use—a wooden clothespin or clamps designed specifically for the purpose of erotic nipple constriction—test the grip on yourself before trying them on your lover. The webbed area of the hand between the thumb and forefinger is suitable for experimenting, although the best way to get an accurate impression of a clamp’s sensory impact is to test it on erectile tissue. If this is not an option, clasp one onto your lower lip; also composed of erectile tissue, it can provide you with a realistic impression of the clamp’s potential.

To put nipple clamps in place, tantalize one of your well-aroused lover’s nipples to attention; then, holding its tender flesh between the tips of your thumb and forefinger, pull it gently away from his or her body. Carefully place the clamp at the base of the nipple—not on the tip! The less flesh you take into the clamp’s grip, the more likely it is to cause sensations that will be interpreted as painful and unbearably nonerotic. If the clamp is placed correctly, what is perceived initially
as discomfort will, by the time the second clamp has been put into place (thanks to the analgesic surge of endorphins), gradually become muted into a deeply arousing rush of intense sensation. As your lover writhes under the influence of the clamps, distract his or her attention from the now highly sensitized nipples by coaxing the sexual vibration to flow throughout his or her entire being with a shower of sweet sensations—kiss, stroke, make love to your lover, and he or she will soar.

But even in the midst of ecstasy, you and your partner need to remain aware of the duration of time that the nipple is being clamped. The greatest mistake that lovers can make is to leave nipple clamps in place for too long. A clamped partner may well be able to tolerate a relatively high level of pain-cum-pleasure, but clamps should never be left in place for more than fifteen minutes at a time. Keeping tight clamps in place longer may injure the delicate erectile tissues of the nipples and even damage the nerve endings, permanently reducing the nipples’ sensitivity.

Avoid getting so wrapped up in the fun that you forget that the clamps are in place! A lover flying high on the wings of the body’s natural love drug is transcending the boundaries of the physical; thus, it is the responsibility of the partner providing sensations to remove the clamps at the right time. The use of clamps demands that the top be highly in tune with the bottom at all times. Endorphins make us feel good and increase our tolerance for pain, but they also reduce our capacity to make clear, quick decisions.

The removal of clamps from highly sensitized nipples should be done lovingly and carefully. Once the clamp has been taken off, encourage the free flow of blood circulation back into the area with the slightest tickles, the sweetest licks, and the softest of caresses.

Some clamps are designed for use on the nipples alone. Others can also be applied to the scrotum, the shaft of the penis, or the outer lips of the vulva. For a thrill, try applying wooden clothespins on less sensitive
areas of your lover’s body—for example, apply anywhere from ten to twenty clothespins to the fleshy areas of the back or along the spinal column. Once they are in place, strum them with your fingertips until it is time to remove them, and then do so slowly, one by one. To enhance the dynamics of the ritual, remove the clamps with the perfect aim and accurate flick of a crop’s leather tip. (Note that this method should never be used to remove clamps from the genitals or the nipples.)

When the clamps are removed, circulation will rush back into each area that was constricted, their release inciting yet another surge of endorphins in a revitalizing charge. As the Sexual Ceremony progresses, the clamps may be reapplied, but only if the receiving partner acquiesces. Some will prefer that the places that have been clamped be avoided altogether after they have been sensitized to this degree—especially the tender nipples. Safety guidelines do not exclude the receiver of such intoxicating sensations from reciprocating. Via the same constrictive route, lovers can unite on a lofty plateau in Paradise!

TEMPERATURE PLAY
can be a surprisingly effective and dramatically sensual way to charge an aroused lover with sexual vibrations. Hot wax and ice can sensitize areas of the body with tingly heat or thrilling chills. The psychophysiological charge of temperature play can spill endorphins into the system, making for an exhilarating and effective prelude to more intense and direct forms of stimulation.

Hot wax is potentially unpredictable and even dangerous, so use common sense to ensure that your ritual endeavors result in ecstasy, not agony! The candles that create the aura of your temple should not be employed for hot wax play unless they are made with pure paraffin, which is used often in church lights and kosher candles. Pure paraffin
melts between 117°F and 147°F (47°C and 64°C), while beeswax and the wax of common colored and perfumed candles melt at higher temperatures. Candles other than paraffin are therefore not safe for hot wax play, even in the case of partners who like to sharpen the edge of their sensory limits. Hot wax play should provide for intensely pleasant sensations, not burns!