The Boudoir Bible (23 page)

In the context of the Sexual Ceremony, use it to tantalize the taste buds, provide energy, and reinforce your sexual high. Enjoy dark chocolate, containing at least 55 percent cacao, with known health benefits, instead of milk chocolate and refined-sugar candy disguised as chocolate.

When the ceremony is organized to last more than three hours, there needs to be more on the menu than snacks. While dining out is a good way to take an intermission, it has the disadvantage of removing you from the temple. Over extended periods of playtime, you will probably be more inclined to stay within the ceremonial dimension. Nutritious and aesthetically pleasing meals can be prepared, at least partially, in advance. Cooking a ritual meal for your lover is another way to make love to him or her. Whether you dine out, order in, or prepare your ceremonial meals at home, the menu should always be made of light, fresh, high-energy foods that are nutritious and easy to digest.

Lovers will notice that their sense of taste will be accentuated over extended periods of sexual arousal. In order to further enhance
the positive progression of your sensorial voyage, choose ingredients that have sex appeal. Some foods traditionally known to nourish the libido are truffles, oysters, fish roe, and chili peppers. The psychological impact that certain foods have is often higher than any actual sexual enhancement they might supply. This explains why phallic-shaped foods, like the banana or zucchini, or the yoni-shaped fruit of the strawberry, are considered to be aphrodisiacal. Still, the greatest aphrodisiac of all is providing pleasure and receiving it in return.

I recommend that certain foods be avoided altogether: pasta, bread, or fried foods, or any food lurking under heavy cream sauce or smothered in cheese. These foods demand too much energy to digest and will leave you feeling lethargic. Limit your consumption of carbohydrates, and indulge in light, fresh foods in small portions. It is always advisable to eat less, it will enhance the evolution of the ritual to feel energized and ready for action once you’re up from the table.

Some ingredients are best avoided unless both partners consume them, for example, onions and garlic. While these less-than-delicate but delicious delights are considered to be aphrodisiacal, they are also renowned for causing very bad breath. If, however, garlic or onions are consumed in good company, their sexual unappeal will become barely perceptible, and you are less likely to offend each other.

When celebrating your ceremonial endeavors with a glass of champagne, forget the not-so-bubbly idea of utilizing the bottle to penetrate your lover for fun—either before or after you pop the cork. If it is sealed, agitating a bottle of champagne (in combination with the temperature change provoked by the warmth of the human body) may cause the contents to explode, which could be detrimental to your lover, to say the least! Also, if the bottle is already opened, inserting it inside the vagina or anus can create a vacuum effect that is equally dangerous.

Be very discerning about what you put or allow to be put inside your body, and keep in mind that the mucus membranes of the vagina and the anus quickly transmit into the bloodstream any substance that they come into contact with. In addition, inserting food into the vagina presents the risk of vaginal yeast infections. Yeast thrives on substances that contain sugar, and so the erotic classics of honey, chocolate, strawberries, and ice cream inserted into the vagina may induce such an infection. Serve dessert on a plate to avoid the risk.

It is also for this reason that alcohol should never, ever be poured into the anus or the vagina, as it will induce an instant state of inebriation (a possibly unbecoming side effect). Alcohol can also irritate the linings of both vagina and anus.

This leads us to a topic of great relevance—sex, drugs, and, alcohol. Both amphetamines and alcohol excite our senses and liberate us from our inhibitions, but both substances are also vascular constrictors that reduce rather than encourage the blood flow to the genitals. Contrary to popular belief, alcohol and other drugs inhibit rather than heighten our sensory perception and therefore negatively influence our capacity to experience truly deep levels of sexual satisfaction. They also mask the positive effects of endorphin elation; endorphins, unlike drugs and alcohol, increase our overall sensorial perception and therefore the effects of the orgasm.

Endorphins not only make us feel good, but they are good for us, too. Unlike other mind-altering substances, endorphins do not produce negative effects on the mind or body.

The best way to accentuate their effects is to drink plenty of water throughout the duration of the Sexual Ceremony. Add an elixir of ginseng to your carafe to create an alcohol-free energy booster. Because
ginseng is a stimulant, it should not be consumed in the evening unless you and your partner plan to play all night.

Even though the Italians declare that a glass of red wine per day keeps the heart healthy (and the French are the first to concur), alcohol should be consumed with moderation during the Sexual Ceremony. While a single cocktail, a glass of wine, or a flute of champagne can have a positive effect on the psyche and help a tense lover to relax, large quantities of alcohol will radically limit your perception of pleasure and alter your sense of judgment. Its effects may make you forget your limits, emotionally as well as physically. No one wants to wake up from an evening of bacchanalian delight with sex-related regrets caused by a void in the memory! Alcohol can also hinder the male erection and cause vaginal dryness by depleting the Bartholin’s glands of lubricating mucus. Alcohol has a dehydrating effect on the entire body. Antihistamines can also produce this effect, although the discomfort that dryness provokes during penetration can be counteracted through the use of lubricants.

Like alcohol, tobacco is also a noted vascular constrictor. It can have a negative effect on the male erection, on the impact of our orgasms, and upon our libido. Tobacco is also known to affect the vitality of sperm, decrease their production in the testicles, and finally, limit the volume of the fluids that are emitted during ejaculation. Tobacco also produces unpleasant odors that will linger in the ritual space. While smokers may not be susceptible to these odors, most nonsmokers are. Try to refrain from smoking in the temple. Incense and other home fragrances may camouflage bad odors, but they will not eliminate their cause.

There is no need to dwell further here on the negative effects that nicotine and other drugs and alcohol heap upon our entire organism—including our capacity to experience heightened degrees of sexual satisfaction. The well-executed Sexual Ceremony is a “drug” in itself, one that is healthy, legal, and free to all who embark on the journey to Paradise.

Making love is about all the senses, but touch remains one of the most powerful and versatile paths to pleasure. In establishing contact with your lover, you can provide titillation and excitement or convey security and trust. Touch has the power to initiate the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony, to signal changes in phases, or to provide a blissful way to “come down” after extended pleasures.

A massage is a divine way to initiate intimate contact, especially if your partner is not quite ready and is perhaps tense or preoccupied. An erotic massage will permit you to back off yet continue to transport your lover into the sexual realm, such as during an intermission. It is also an excellent way to get a sensory overview of the sensual landscape. If you feel insecure about administering massages, read about the subject, or take a class to help you build confidence and develop some skills. Getting a massage is also great way to learn how to give a massage.

An effective massage can be performed without a lot of complicated techniques; let your creative energy flow, and follow your instincts. If you invite your lover to tell you what he or she desires, you will gradually find yourself able to give a very effective and personalized massage.

Try beginning with a head massage. The head is home to four of our five sensory organs and also houses the biggest sexual organ of all, the brain. A head massage has the power to lead even the most nervous of lovers toward a more receptive state.

Massage the top and the back of the head. Gently pull the hair to invite blood to rise toward the surface and freely circulate. Rub and then kiss the place between the eyebrows known as the third eye. This area, highly receptive to the transmission of energy, is the door to the inner spirit.

Carefully kiss the sensitive eyelids. Massage and kiss the ears, charged with nerve endings that will transmit ripples of erotic sensation
throughout the entire body. Kiss and bite the neck of your lover with erotic intent, to send similar waves of erotic energy up his or her spine.

The heavy muscles of the buttocks, thighs, upper arms, and the back are responsive to deep and penetrating pressure. Though not as sensitive or sexually charged as other areas of the body, for this reason they are a good starting point for erotic contact. (Unless you are a truly skilled masseur, the spinal column should be avoided.)

As you massage, always work in the direction of the heart. Imagine that you are literally pushing the blood back toward its vital source, and the effects of the massage will be more rejuvenating. You don’t want your lover to fall asleep! Whether your massage is a prelude to, or an intermission in the sexual ceremony, intermittently stimulate the genitals. Toward the end of the massage, experiment with ways to provide more and more contact between your body and that of your lover, taking the ritual to the next level.

Massage oil or talc will render the massage easier for the provider, but remember that neither is conducive to vaginal or anal health. Latex gloves can be worn to add a sensory twist to the manual administration of sensations, as long as you are not using oil, which causes them degrade. Talc on latex gloves, however, will exalt the effects of the massage. Or try wearing only one glove, the other hand bare, providing two different sensations simultaneously.

Leather gloves are sexy, and permit the provision of deep, penetrating sensations, but they also create a certain resistance. So if you plan to conserve your energy, they are not the best option. Leather gloves also have a disadvantage of reducing the direct exchange of energy from the receiver’s body to the provider.

Men, use your genitals to offer a hot, deep, and even slightly funny massage by rolling your erect member back and forth over the back, the thighs, and other zones of your lover’s body. (The pleasure is obviously shared!) Ladies, finish off your massage by guiding your nipples
over your lover’s skin. From this, too, the masseuse will enjoy a degree of auto-stimulation.

While the hands are the body’s most effective tactile instruments, remember that the mouth—the lips, tongue, and teeth—also can provide deeply intimate pleasure. Along with the anus and vagina, the mouth represents the only other round muscle in the body, and it is similarly composed of highly sensitive erectile tissues. Nerve endings are clustered all through the mouth area, which is why it feels so good to kiss, nibble, caress, suck, lick, and taste each other. While a kiss on the lips is divine, when tongues come together, lovers are likely to be led toward even greater sensory pleasures. The lips can be used to kiss and caress any part of the body. The tongue happens to be one of the strongest muscles in the human body, and when used artfully, it elicits sensations that no other part of the human body can provide.

The Taoist disciplines of erotic loving suggest a series of exercises to reinforce the mighty muscle of the tongue, in order that it may be used to provide oral pleasures at length. The teeth, on the other hand, can be used to test the limits between pain and pleasure. While not everyone appreciates the pungent sensations that love bites provide, the desire to lick, taste, and literally consume the one we love is an integral part of passionate love and a sign of great trust and intimacy.

THE PARADISE FOUND
Sexual Ceremony provides adults with the rare opportunity to play—switching off the real world and turning each other all the way on! Incorporating erotic play can help to determine the focus of the ritual’s elaboration as well as facilitate the introduction of the tools and techniques of full-body stimulation.

Role-play is a natural and spontaneous aspect of every child’s recreation—the imagination has no limits. At some point in our childhoods we all embodied adult roles, either the dominant or the subordinate role or alternating between them. Perhaps we played a heroic soldier, beating down a feeble enemy, or in turn, we were the enemy being overpowered by the conqueror. We may have been a pirate or the helpless captive, cop and robber, master and pet, a teacher with her naughty pupil. Role-playing gives the child the
opportunity to explore the many juxtapositions of strength with impotence, according to the inclinations of a budding personality. But by the time we reach adolescence and begin to mature sexually, most of us have learned to judge the world of fantasy as childish, our social conditioning smothering the spontaneity of our creative minds. Ironically, once many of us attain adulthood and assume its chosen or imposed roles, we often worry more about what we should or should not do, say, think, or feel, rather than simply being ourselves and exploring our roles, whatever they may be, creatively.