The Boudoir Bible (33 page)

Divide your rope into sections of varying lengths. Rope approximately 8 feet long (2.5 meters) is ideal for binding the hands together. Rope approximately 12 feet in length (3.5 meters) is perfect for binding the ankles together as well as for binding the wrists directly to the ankles. Two sections of approximately 26 feet (8 meters) and 40 feet (12 meters) in length can be used for making chest harnesses and other delightful variations on shibari that not only restrain and restrict the bottom’s sense of movement but compress, hug, and caress large areas of the body as well.

Once you have cut the rope, don’t put the scissors away. You still need to seal the ends of the rope in order to prevent fraying and unraveling. Do not tie knots at the ends of your rope! Their bulk will render your bondage session downright clumsy, if not next to impossible to accomplish.

For nylon rope, wrap the ends of each rope with masking tape, leaving approximately ¼ inch (6 millimeters) of the end exposed to make a clean finish. Heat the blade of a knife over a flame then rub the hot blade over the ends of the rope. Once is has cooled, remove and discard the tape. Heating the ends of nylon rope can make their edges rough; fine sandpaper can be used to soften any sharp, scratchy edges. Another solution is to use masking or electrical tape alone to prevent the rope from unraveling.

The ends of rope made from natural materials like hemp, linen, or cotton are traditionally “whipped,” or bound and stitched with twine, to prevent them from fraying, but they, too, can just be wrapped with masking tape. However, this makes for a less visually
pleasing bondage cord, no matter the material in question. Consider binding or even stitching the ends of the rope with colored thread to obtain a more visually pleasing result—aesthetics should never be forgotten. I cap my own cords with smooth metal tips, which prevent fraying and add a slight weight to the working ends that facilitates the knotting and binding process. They also bejewel my bondage cords, adding a distinct aesthetic benefit to their erotic function. Take a trip to the hardware store—where unexpected bondage solutions await your sexually creative mind!

Everyone knows that a rope has two ends, but in order to benefit from the initiation in this chapter, you must understand the language of the bondage cords a bit more extensively. The length of the cord that lies between the ends is called the
standing line
. This section is usually involved in the binding process but not the knotting. The
main line
marks the beginning of the knot, which terminates with the
working end
of the cord. The main line is usually kept taut until the knot is tied with the working end. A
loop
is created when a cord is folded back and crosses over itself. A
hitch
is a knot that ties a cord to something else, like a hook. Because a hitch tightens under strain, it should not be used directly on the bindings that constrict your happy lover.

Once the ends of the ropes are prepped, find the center of each rope and mark it with a colored thread, a waterproof pen, or a piece of tape. This will permit the top to find the middle of the bondage cord instantly, contributing to the control and fluidity of every gesture made when working with doubled cords. Many of the restraints to be explored are executed with doubled cords; this permits for faster binds and lends more support to the bound limbs and also imbues the binds with a very distinct, pleasing aesthetic.

Plan ahead and color-code these center marks to indicate cord length; for example, use black to indicate 26 feet (8 meters), red for 12 feet (3.5 meters), and so forth. To bundle and store your bondage
cords, fold each length in half and, holding the center loop in one hand, repeatedly wrap around the elbow and the palm until the entire length of the cord is in an orderly ring. Then loop, tie, or twist the ends of the cord around the ring to prevent it from unraveling. Now it is ready for titillating action!

Good organization is crucial to every phase of sensual rope bondage. Being organized means the top isn’t undoing kinks and knots instead of dedicating attention to pleasure; it supports the meditative trance-state that the harmonious dance of the cords will evoke in both partners. Some bottoms enjoy taking care of the ropes before the session starts; in fact, their tops can insist that the bottom does so! The partner who is responsible for this phase of the ceremony should make sure that the cords are clean, note wear and tear, and replace any defective cords with a new one.

Once the cords are doubled and neatly bundled, they should be set out in an orderly fashion next to the instruments that will be used to coax the bottom through the gates of Paradise. The top must also remember to keep a pair of blunt-nosed medical shears within arm’s reach to quickly release a bound bottom in case he or she is in any danger.

Being Present at the Gates of Paradise

The safety guidelines that were set forth in the previous section on bondage cuffs should be followed in combination with those below that pertain specifically to sensual rope bondage.

The heightened states of sexual arousal that are intrinsic to the arts of rope bondage depend on factors that go beyond the ability of the top to orchestrate the dance of the cords. For example, the top must
stay in physical contact with the bottom at all times
. The top’s presence, like his or her touch, instills a sense of security that helps trigger sexual abandon in the bottom. Coaxing the bottom toward the gates of Paradise with the hands and fingers also permits the top to
make certain that the constricted areas of the bottom’s body are staying warm. Should any part of a bottom’s body go cold, it is a sign that his or her circulation is compromised.

Should the bottom experience numbness or a tingling sensation, the ropes must be removed at once. Do not wait until the bottom is unable to feel or move the body part in question; once the bottom is freed from the cords, the top should then massage the affected areas and help the bottom flex the numbed body part to encourage the return of circulation.

The most extreme variations of rope bondage entail total or partial suspension of the body and demand great technical skill in order to be performed safely. It also helps if the bottom is in excellent physical shape and knows his or her physical and emotional limits. The techniques of suspension bondage will not be dealt with in this volume, as they are too complex to be safely taught in a limited context. Anyone who masters the basic restraints taught in this chapter and who wishes to learn the more advanced forms of sensual rope bondage should seek out a master in those arts.

Practice for Pleasure

Due to the dangers inherent to sensual rope bondage, I recommend that novices practice on inanimate objects before inviting a lover to submit to the power of the cords. A medium-size cloth doll or even a teddy bear makes for an ideal bondage-training companion. During the Edo period in Japan (1603–1867), a time of flourishing arts, rope bondage techniques were commonly mastered on straw dummies. Unlike human beings, dolls cannot be put at risk, nor will they feel insecure when trainees fumble with the cord, execute knots that cannot be easily released, or create restraints that are sloppy, too tight, or downright dangerous. Lovers, take heed: you are bound to make these mistakes until you master the dance of the cords.

When practicing with a medium-size doll, use a cord with the diameter of ¼ inch (6 millimeters). Cut it into lengths of approximately 3 feet, 6 feet, and 10 feet (1, 2, and 3 meters). If you train on yourself, use cords with a 5/16-inch (8-millimeter) diameter; you will, of course, have to limit your attention to your lower body.

When you feel confident in your skill with the cords, invite a trusted friend or lover to submit to your education. Keep things simple, and progress gradually. Not until you have mastered each restraint that you intend to use, to the point that you feel as if you could almost execute it in your sleep, should you put it to ceremonial use. You and your partner will both benefit from your training; mutual confidence is fundamental to the shared pleasures of sensual rope bondage.

The skilled top is aware that the more restrictive a restraint is, the less likely it is that the bottom will be able to resist in its embrace at length. The top always progresses gradually toward more demanding restraints. Unless the top knows the bottom’s physical limits well, the top should not submit the bottom to the more challenging forms of restraint at the beginning, nor impose lengthy periods of immobilization. The bottom should refrain from touching the cords with their hands whenever possible. This will reinforce the positive effects of the power shift, accentuate the fluidity of the top’s gestures, and enhance the overall harmony of the session.

Japanese rope bondage is often asymmetrical, but this chapter focuses on basic symmetrical restraints alone—some Western, others in the Japanese style—that provide equal degrees of support, tension, and pressure on both sides of the body. The basic knots explored herein are common to sailors, scouts, rock climbers, and equestrians—not just to lovers of sensual rope bondage.

Snug, Not Tight: Cuffs with the French Bowline

The initiation into sensual rope bondage commences with learning how to create bondage cuffs using a knot known as the French bowline
(see
plate IX
). All cords are 5/16 inch (8 millimeters) in diameter. Your 8-foot-long (2.5-meter) cord should be used to bind the wrists; your 12-foot-long (3.5-meter) cord are perfect for binding the ankles.

Start with a single strand of cord and create an overhand loop at one of its ends, making sure to pass the working end of the cord
over
, not under, the main line (the portion of cord that marks the beginning of the knot). The French bowline will otherwise not take shape.

Then, while holding this loop between your fingers in one hand, run the working end of the cord once around the wrist or the ankle and then pull the end through the loop. Repeat this gesture at least three times, but certainly more if desired, in order to create a band of cords. This provides for more comfortable and safer restraints, because should the bottom struggle, the cord’s tension will be spread over all the cords; it will also help to avoid chafing. (Remember that struggling and straining is a natural response and part of the endorphin-surging fun of movement restraint!)

In order to terminate each French bowline “cuff,” the last time the working end of the cord is looped around the wrist or ankle, its end should be pulled through the loop again. But rather than wrapping it around the limb, run the end directly around the main line (the portion of the cord that marks the very beginning of the knot) and pass it directly back through the loop.

Before tightening the knot, work the cords to take up the slack, making sure that all the loops that go around the limb are of equal length. The final result should be snug, not tight. Slide your forefinger and middle finger between the cords and the bottom’s skin to ensure that the delicate pulse points are not under pressure. The French bowline will not slip or tighten, so this danger is unlikely—as long as the knot is tied properly.

Once both the ankles and wrists have been cuffed, all of the bondage cuffs variations explored in the preceding section may be
enacted. When the hand-to-hand, ankle-to-ankle, or ankle-to-hand bonds are being implemented, the top must again take care that the French bowlines lie just above or just below the pulse points—never directly on the points. When the wrists and ankles are bound directly to each other, the restraint should be secured with a safety knot for the quick release, if necessary, of the bound bottom.

Please Release Me: The Safety Knot

Fast release is fundamental to safe sensual bondage. There are several variations on the safety knot, but the following is the easiest to remember, as it is as simple as tying as your shoes. The one difference is that the knot is a half bow created with one loop rather than two before the cords are pulled tight. To form a half bow, proceed as if you were tying your shoes. Make the first loop, then the second loop, then begin to tie the bow. As you tighten it, continue pulling the working end of the second loop all the way through and—voilà! Pull taut. This safety knot can be used to secure any binding made directly on the body and can be released in a matter of seconds by pulling on the loose end of the loop.

Stretch Me Out: The Prusik Knot

The French bowline cuff can also be secured to fixed points such as strategically placed wall hooks, or to any stable object whose design permits for the pleasures of sensual rope bondage, such as a chair or the uprights of a bed, with the Prusik knot.

Unlike the safety knot, the Prusik knot (see
plate XI
) ought never to be used directly on the body, as it will tighten when put under strain.

The Prusik knot provides for good control over the tension in the standing line, making for effective and dynamic restraints. The Prusik should never, ever be used directly on the body, because it tightens under strain.

Use the ends of the French bowline cuffs as the point of departure in learning how to tie the Prusik knot. Pass the free end of the French bowline cuff around your fixed stable point (for example, the upright of the bed). Pass the working end of the cord over the main line twice to form two loops (see
a
and
b
on
plate XI
). After the second loop has been made, the working end of the rope should be crossed over the engaged section of the working end of the cord that created the first loop then looped twice again in front of the first set of loops, beginning from under the main line (see
c
). Then pass the end of the cord inside the horizontal loop to complete the knot (see
d
). The end of the cord should now lie between the double loops that form the left and right sides of the Prusik knot.

Before tightening the knot, perfect its symmetry by pushing the loops together snugly down the taut main line (see e). When the Prusik is tight, it will lock down on the main line. When it is not, it can be slid up and down the main line. This is one of the Prusik’s most notable assets—the tension on the cord can be increased and then released at will. The Prusik is particularly adapted for securing a consenting bottom in a spread-eagle position, as it allows the top not only to restrain the bottom but to gradually stretch them out ever so sweetly (always in accordance with the bottom’s consent and physical limits).