The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (40 page)

Travel card:
Gives special directions or information such as where to meet the chartered bus or find the right beach.

Admission card:
Used as a pass to get into a wedding held at a popular public location such as the Cleveland Museum of Art or St. Patrick's Cathedral.

Accommodation card:
For people coming from out of town. This specifies the hotel where you have made arrangements and may include a mention of discount rates and a contact person.

Rain card:
Tells where to go in case of rain. (Best used when the ceremony or reception is to be held out of doors.)

“Within the Ribbon” card or Pew card:
Sometimes a specific section of the ceremony site is reserved for wedding
party members or other special guests, who would give one of these cards to the usher. (Try not to assign these seats based on the generosity of the wedding present.)

At home card:
Small card that lets your guests know your new address and the date you will be ready to receive mail—and visitors—there.

Name card:
Lets everyone know if there is to be a name change. Gay and lesbian couples can add just one more twist here with the option of including changes in both names. (See
chapter twenty-two, “The Aftermath.”
)

By now your eyes are no doubt spinning over the different components of a wedding invitation. But don't despair: here's where the real fun begins. If you've decided that the standard invitation forms appeal to you, you can (1) seek the help of a professional, (2) produce them yourselves, or (3) decide to skip the wedding and put the money into home improvements instead.

THAT SILLY PIECE OF TISSUE PAPER

Pieces of tissue paper were originally used to keep the oil-based ink on an engraved invitation from smearing as it slowly dried. Even if you don't order them, don't be surprised if a stack of them is sitting there when you open your box of invitations. You can use them in the invitations, or you can use them to blow your nose; the choice is yours.

If you've chosen option one in the preceding paragraph, here's your rundown of who the pros are:

Stationer:
A store that specializes in personal and social stationery. They have those voluminous wedding catalogs, but, more important, they employ people who are up on everything from wording to trends in ink colors. They may have their own sources for paper, designs, and all the trimmings. This category also includes the more posh jewelry stores such as Tiffany and Cartier.

Printer:
A place you'd go to get something reproduced, usually by the offset method—a type of lithography. They too will have those voluminous wedding catalogs, but you may not get as much help here as you would from a stationer.

Copy shop:
Services such as high-tech photocopying, computer type, color copies, and so on. Forget having anybody help you with much of anything here; know what you want when you walk in.

Department store:
More voluminous wedding catalogs, and a trained bridal consultant who may have advised Eleanor Roosevelt on her invitations. They sometimes have good prices and sales promotions.