The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (86 page)

So how do you avoid flora fallout?

Decide exactly where and how you want to use flowers. Flowers can be worn, carried, and used to create a mood in a room, pull things together, and cover imperfections.

Brides traditionally carry bouquets, and grooms wear boutonnieres. You do whatever you want. Bouquets, corsages, and boutonnieres are a great way to give the wedding party a coordinated look—and for the nervous attendant, a bouquet provides something to do with fidgety hands.

For the ceremony, fresh floral garlands can decorate the entrance and large arrangements can be placed on either side of the vow site. Reception flowers
create a distinctive ambience with centerpieces and exotic greens scattered about serving stations.

Flowers set the stage as backdrops for numerous photo ops. And they do wonders covering up the wood paneling if you get married in your den.

Carried down the aisle by brides and attendants, then preserved forever in Lucite or tossed to singles anxious to be the next to wed, the bouquet sets off the chosen attire whether it is a gown or jeans. The most traditional of the traditional is a bouquet of white roses for the bride, but by all means don't rule out flowers that “speak to you” or the exotics you simply find fabulous.

If you choose bouquets for attendants, consider who will be doing the carrying. A petite attendant cuddling a massive cascading bouquet of hothouse tiger lilies can look funny, so pick a style that's in proportion to the size and weight of each person. Men can certainly carry full bouquets, but this is a look that tends to be more bridal. (However, if you're looking to make a statement, go for it.) Carrying a single flower is also a stylish option whatever your gender. If you're trying to coordinate an array of attendants' outfits, come up with a floral color scheme that is neutral or one that will work in concert with the styles and colors of the chosen attire.

The following are some of the more popular bouquet styles.

The cascade:
A large, tear-shaped arrangement with blossoms trailing downward. This is the most popular bridal bouquet and complements a full ball-gown look. “The larger the dress, the larger the bouquet; the taller the bride, the further the flowers will cascade downward” is a good rule of thumb.

The arm arrangement or presentation bouquet:
Think beauty pageant or the kind of flowers given to opera divas, and you've got it. A dozen white roses or a more elaborate variety works well here. The arrangement should lay cradled comfortably on your forearm (usually the left so you can wave with the right) and coordinates nicely with attendants carrying presentation bouquets composed of different flowers.

Loosely tied or country garden bouquet:
This bouquet has an “I just picked these out of my English garden that happens to be in the backyard” feel. The bouquet has an unstructured look and can be made up of many different flowers or wildflowers. The stems aren't pruned as in other bouquets and are tied together with ribbon, lace, or fabric.

A single stem or solo bouquet:
You can create an effect that's either sexy or Zen-like minimalist by carrying a single calla lily, one perfect rose, or a solo orchid.

The nosegay:
A round bouquet in various sizes, the nosegay could have a ruffle of fabric (like grandma's hankie) or lace around the edge. One type of nosegay that's especially popular (and dates back to Victorian times) is the “tussy mussy,” which is a smaller, tighter cluster of flowers, perhaps baby roses or peonies. Or use fragrant herbs such as lavender, rosemary, and scented geranium.

A GREEN BOUQUET

Forget traditional flowers altogether and opt for an eco-friendly green bouquet. Handfuls of herbs, forestry foliage, and wonderful woodsy branches create a bouquet of Mother Nature's found treasures.

Research this carefully or discuss with a flower professional, or it may look like you went scrounging through a compost heap.

The boutonniere:
The male version of the corsage—that carnation or single rose you're picturing, the one you wore to your prom or frat formal, pinned to your lapel, with fake leaves taped to the stem. Boutonnieres have come a long way, and can be created from most hardy flowers or several different buds put together. Etiquette tells us that all the male attendants should have matching boutonnieres—except for the groom, who can get something special, perhaps from the bridal bouquet. You certainly offend no one if you follow tradition, but if you want to mix and match boutonnieres, the results will be more interesting. A single flower such as a rose or a small gardenia is classy and always appropriate.