The Weakness in Me (21 page)

“I could ask you the same thing,” she bantered back, sliding her glasses down her nose to narrow her blue eyes at him. He didn’t miss the way Sammy stiffened beside him at the news that his truck hadn’t been at his apartment this morning. This was an interesting development.

“I had a few with Toby last night and when someone I didn’t want to see showed up, I cabbed it home,” he explained.
“Went back this morning to pick up my truck and come here to get breakfast for Sammy for her birthday,” he finished, looking beside him to give her a soft smile.

“Oh?
Who showed up?” Sammy asked, seemingly innocent, but Jason knew it was a loaded question that made him wonder if she already knew. Suddenly, he caught a glimpse of blonde curls in a booth in the corner and he knew the answer.

“Missy,” he answered, her name leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.
“When she decided she wanted to do some body shots, I left as quickly as I could. She had me trapped in a booth before that.”

“Oh?
She was more than happy to tell me she saw you last night when we got here,” Sammy whispered, anger heating her words, making him wonder if she was jealous. “She had a different story about how the night ended, and now McKenna says your truck wasn’t at home this morning…”

“I wasn’t with her, I was home.
I could show you the credit card receipt for the cab, if you want,” he whispered back, wanting her to believe him.

“No, that’s fine, Jason.
You don’t owe me any explanations. I mean, we’re just friends, remember?” she said, flippantly, and fluttered her eye lashes at him before returning to another conversation taking place at the table.

“I didn’t mean to get you in trouble,” McKenna leaned across the table to whisper at him.

“You didn’t, someone else is conspiring to do that all on her own,” he growled.

“Are you sure she’s working alone?” McKenna nodded in Missy’s direction.

“What do you mean? I know she said something to Garrett about saving Sammy awhile ago. Is there something else you know?” Jason questioned.

“Just that I’ve seen her having lunch with mom a few times over the last couple of months.
I know they used to be close, but it seemed odd to me, you know?” his sister told him, her eyes shifting back and forth between his and Missy’s table.

“Yeah, it does,” he was shocked to find out this information.
He had kept his conversations with his mother to a minimum after the incident in December, but she’d never mentioned spending time with Missy, only how great a couple she thought they’d make.

After a few minutes, he tried to return to the
discussion at the table, but felt someone staring at him. Looking around the diner, Jason’s eyes met and narrowed on Missy’s. The flirty grin she had morphed into wide-eyed fear as he was sure she could feel his anger rolling through the diner in waves as he took her in. He wondered, and not for the first time, why she was choosing now to behave this way again. He hadn’t run into her at all in the last five years, so why was he seeing her everywhere now? It couldn’t be a coincidence and he vowed to get to the bottom of it.

**

“Jason?” a voice whispered from the other end of the call.

“Yeah?” he answered, puzzled.

“I need your help,” the voice pleaded, still in a whisper.

“Who is this?” he asked, trying to knock the sleep from his voice.
Glancing at the clock on Sammy’s bedside table, he could see it was only 3:45am.

“It’s Missy.
I woke up in a house across town and I don’t know how I got here. Can you pick me up at the gas station on the 516 and 216
th
avenue?”She asked.

“That’s all the way in Maple Valley, Mis!
Do you not realize what time it is?” he asked, louder than he intended.

Her late nig
ht calls asking to be rescued were starting to become far too frequent, but he didn’t know how to put an end to being the first person she called when she was in a jam. Since he and Sammy had started dating, she’d always been around as Sammy’s best friend/frenemy. The only time he seemed to get a reprieve from her neediness was when she and Sammy were in a fight, usually once a month.

“I know, but I didn’t know who else to call,” she started to cry. “I don’t know how long I’ve been here, but everyone is passed out and I’m walking out the front door.
Please,” she heard her choke out.

“Fine, but this is the last time,” he
agreed, grabbing his pants from the chair across the bedroom and hanging up his phone.

“Who was that?” Sammy asked, groggy and still half asleep.

“Missy,” he said. “She’s stranded in Maple Valley and needs a ride.”

“If you keep playing white knight to her, Jason, she’s going to get the wrong idea,” Sammy warned, sitting up in bed to watch him put his shoes on.

“She knows I’m yours, Sammy. She’s just scared and didn’t have anyone else to call,” he said, dismissing her worries.

“Okay,” she agreed.
“Just be careful, okay?”

“Absolutely,” he smiled, coming to the bed to kiss her good bye.
“I’ll be back soon. I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you, too,” she responded before lying back on her pillow and curling onto her side again.

**

Three days after her birthday,
Jason stood on the threshold of Sammy’s bedroom wanting to explain the events at the bar again. He knew it was no use, either she believed him, or she didn’t. He got an odd sense of déjà vu over the situation. He’d wanted to check in with her sooner, but he’d been working and this was his first opportunity to see her. Jason couldn’t help but watch her as she sat with her back to him in her window seat engrossed in a tattered novel he’d seen her read, at least, three times over the last twenty years.

“You can come in, you know,” she said, not looking up from the book
, but sounding slightly annoyed with him.

“How?” he asked, moving to sit on the fainting couch across from her.

“Your smell,” she muttered, absently, turning the page.

“Okay? Are you trying to tell me that I need to shower?” he asked, puzzled.

Sammy sighed, deeply before placing a finger on the page she was reading to save her place. Finally, she turned in the seat to face Jason. “No,” she frowned, as if she was about to share something she didn’t want to, “I used to think it was some brand of fabric softener your mom used, but I’ve learned that it’s just you.”

“Oh, okay,” Jason
answered, gently, not wanting to upset her. His eyes implored her to elaborate. He almost shouted a cheer when she started to talk further.

“After we broke up, I dated two other guys who smelled similar, but it wasn’t the same.
The smell of you on the wind is one of my most recognizable scents. It always felt like home to me,” she shrugged, as if what she was revealing was no big deal, but they both knew it was a huge development.

“And the guys that smelled similar?”
he swallowed, afraid of her next words

“Ne
ver evoked that feeling of home,” she confessed, leaving him wishing he could sigh with relief, but knowing he had to ask one more question.

“And Caleb?” Jason asked softly.

“Caleb…his smell didn’t remind me of you at all. It was spicier, like cinnamon, but…” she trailed off, looking over her shoulder toward the darkened yard.

“But?” Jason
prompted, causing her to face him again, her green eyes conveying the pain in her heart.

“It was like finding home again.
I savored that feeling when I finally understood who he was and what he was going to mean to me. I didn’t know how much I’d missed it until I found it again…but with him,” Sammy looked down at the book in her hands and reached for the bookmark beside her. “Then Garrett ruined it again with…” Knowing she was uncomfortable with the direction their conversation had turned, he put his hand over hers.

“Hey,” he said in a whisper, “I’m glad you had him.
I’m glad he made you happy, Sammy.” And as much as he’d been jealous of her connection with Caleb, he couldn’t deny his words to her and the fact that without him, there would be no Corigan. He wasn’t willing to think about what his life would be like without that little girl.

She just nodded, pulling
her hand from his grasp to shove the bookmark between the pages.

“Me, too
. I just-,” she took a deep breath. “I just really miss my home,” she stood and started to walk toward the door. He knew that she was freaking out about letting out some of her feelings toward him, but he smiled inside knowing that they were finally making progress. He had to make sure she knew she wasn’t alone. “I’m going to have a cup of tea-”

“Vanilla,” Jason said, cutting her off.

“What about it?” Sammy asked, her brows knit together in confusion.

“You’ve always smelled like vanilla.
I’d get small whiffs of it sometimes and I’d turn and look for you. You were never there, though. It was never quite the right scent of vanilla, sometimes it was too perfumey, other times too soapy. But you’re right, on you, that smell of vanilla always made me feel at home. It relaxed me,” Jason stood, walking closer with each of his words. Taking in her look of shock, he stopped short of her by several feet. He knew his words had the effect he had been trying to achieve. Smiling, he added, “Tea would be great, thank you.”

He watched her collect her thoughts and blink before a slight blush colored her cheeks.
“How about some white chai?” she asked, turning toward the kitchen again.

“Sound perfect,” he smiled, following her.
“So, are we—are we okay?” he asked as she pulled the mugs from the cupboard and grabbed the kettle.

“Yeah,” she nodded.
“You don’t owe me any explanations, like I said, but if you say you took a cab home, and are offering to prove it…I believe you.”

“Thank you!” he said, almost crushing her in a hug in his excitement before he remembered he was giving her space, and deciding on a face-splitting smile.

As July came and went, Sammy started to become more and more withdrawn from Jason. He was still helping her and Corigan in whatever capacity they needed, including child care on his off days, but he could sense a growing agitation. After the anniversary of the accident, he’d find her on her deck, twirling her wedding rings, deep in thought, but she seemed to be clinging to them more than usual. He knew she felt guilty for feeling close to him again.

He knew she was scared of how she felt about him.
After their tea and conversation about what it means to feel at home, she made every excuse known to man about why they couldn’t spend time alone anymore. He wasn’t trying to orchestrate anything, because he meant what he’d told her on the ferry, but he was getting increasingly angry that she didn’t seem to trust that he wouldn’t try anything. Or perhaps it was more that she didn’t trust herself?

They finally found themselves alone again for the first time in nearly two months the day of Corigan’s second birthday party early in August.
She’d done everything to avoid it, but she needed her parents to watch Corigan while she decorated and her sisters’ promised they’d be over early, but not nearly early enough to get everything done in time for the party.

Begrudgingly, she’d taken him up on his offer to help, and had spent the entire morning avoiding him by working in a different room than he was.
He was starting to get agitated by her behavior himself, and was feeling slightly used. When she finally asked him to help her in the kitchen, he hoped the ice was starting to thaw.

“So, how’s business been going?” he asked, thinking that opening with a benign question would get her to relax.

“Fine,” she huffed in annoyance, causing him to finally break.

“What is wrong, Sammy?” he demanded, putting the knife he was using down to confront her.

“Don’t call me Sammy,” she shouted toward the dining room before turning to face him, anger radiating from her.

“Are we seriously back to this?
I thought we’d made progress here!” Jason sighed in exasperation.

“Why are you here, Jason?” she asked, her eyes now looking tired.

“What do you mean? You’re my friend, why wouldn’t I be here?”

“It’s been a year, Jason.
Surely you know I have the money to hire someone to take care of Corigan while I’m working,” Samantha sighed. “It’s what we did before the accident.”

“I like knowing you and Corigan are okay, and I promised you I’d be there,” he answered, honestly, slightly annoyed she even felt the need to ask.

“Maybe you should spend less time here so she doesn’t have to deal with losing you when you find someone,” she said, refusing to look into his eyes, before wiping her hands on a kitchen towel and walking back toward the living room.

After getting over the shock of her words, he caught up with her in the hall, spinning her around to face him.
“After I
find
someone? What the fuck does that mean?” he asked, his annoyance with her reaching critical mass.