The Weakness in Me (22 page)

“I mean, when you date and everything, and find someone you want to share your life with, I don’t want her to get too attached,” Sammy’s shocked face turned sour with her words.

“We’ve already discussed this, Sammy!” he yelled, backing her against the wall. “There
is
no one else; there never
will
be anyone else. How can’t you see that? It’s only
ever
been you! Why are you so scared to try?” he lectured, pointing at her, harshly.

“Get your finger out of my face, Jason,” Sammy warned.

“Not until you answer me,” he countered.

“Fine,” she said, just before she
snatched his finger with her teeth and bit him. As she released the finger, her scowl morphed into a smile he recognized as an invitation. Powerless to stop himself, he grabbed the back of her head and crushed her lips to his, breaking his promise to her and himself. He licked the seam of her lips and she opened her mouth to him with a hungry growl, sucking his tongue into her mouth and pulling him closer to her before wrapping her leg around his hip, wantonly.

He knew the moment she
recognized what she was doing when she slowed the kiss and stopped, but made no move to pull her lips from his or take her leg from his hip.

**

“What are you doing?” Samantha asked against his lips.

“I, uh,…” he started, backing up
, pushing her leg back into position. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking at his feet. “I didn’t mean…- I couldn’t stop myself,” he blushed.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry
if I…,” she started. “I’m still not ready.”

The silence stretched between them, awkwardly.
Staring into each other’s eyes again, Samantha let her arms drop back to her side.

“I know,” Jason said, breaking the hush that had fallen over them
, gesturing down to the ring still on her finger. “You looked at me with
that
smile you used to give me… it was old habit. Really, I’m so sorry.”

Sam
my’s eyes widened, knowing she was guilty. She
had
signaled his action. “You’re right, that was my fault,” she confessed.

“No!
I didn’t need to act on it, I broke my promise,” he said, releasing her from responsibility as he turned toward the kitchen. “Look, I know I said I’d help you get ready for Corigan’s party, but I just remembered something I promised her I’d pick up for her birthday. I’ll be back when the party starts.” Jason grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter and walked back toward the living room.

“That sounds good,” Sam
my agreed, following him to the door. “I really do appreciate your help and there really isn’t that much left to do, just a couple of trays of food,” she motioned back toward the kitchen. “Actually, would you mind picking up the cake from the store, too?”

“Not at all,” he gave her a warm smile and turned to hug her
, before remembering the awkwardness of the moment and deciding against the familiar gesture.

**

Jamie tapped her finger on her pink coffee table as she waited for her youngest daughter to pick up her phone.

“Hello?” the answering voice sounded from the speaker.

“Ken! There you are! Are you on your way?” she asked, looking at the grandfather clock in the corner.

“On my way for what, mom?”
McKenna asked. Jamie immediately took issue with the tone of the question.

“I thought we were going to that concert in the park today?
With that band you wanted to sign?” she prompted, with a frustrated whimper.

“That was last week, mother.
I tried to call you and you were busy with Sven. Something about trying to cleanse the neighborhood?” her daughter reminded her.

“Oh, that was last week?
I’m sorry,” Jamie pouted, flicking her sea green painted nail at a chip in the coffee table. “Want to just go shopping instead? I want to spend some time with my baby girl.”

“I’d love to, but Miranda and I are taking Lucas over to Corigan’s birthday party this afternoon,” McKenna told her.

“Who is Corigan? He’s talked about that kid every time I’ve seen him in the last couple of months,” Jamie wondered aloud, as she absently turned on the television and started flipping channels.

“You don’t know?” McKenna asked, confused.
“It’s Sammy McKenzie’s daughter,” she finished as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb in Jamie’s day.

“Is your brother going to be there?” she asked, keeping her voice as steady as she could.
It had been nearly a year and no progress had been made on keeping them apart. Even Missy was trying to tell her they needed to give up the ghost. She insisted that Samantha and Jason were just friends and would probably stay that way, because Sammy refused to take off her wedding ring. Jamie didn’t understand what
that
had to do with anything. The way Samantha had her boy enraptured, they had to be sleeping together, and she had to put a stop to it!

“He’ll be there.
Corigan calls him Unkey Jason! It’s so cute,” McKenna gushed.

“I don’t understand what’s so cute about having a two year old you aren’t even related to call you Uncle.
He’s just getting that little girl’s hopes up for when he starts to date someone else and pulls away from her,” Jamie snorted in disgust, trying to make it seem like she was looking out for the little girl’s interests.

“I don’t see
that
happening,” her daughter answered, bluntly. “Jason’s not going anywhere. Trust me.”

“Ugh,” she groaned.
“I knew they were sleeping together!” she yelled, throwing the television remote across the room and shattering it against the wall. “Fuck!”

“No, not sleeping together, but she seemed awfully upset at the prospect that he might’ve slept with Missy a couple of months ago,” McKenna informed her.
“Jason did everything he could to prove that never happened and has, basically, put up a force field to keep Missy away ever since.”

“That’s why she told me I need to give up,” Jamie mumbled as she stood from the cracked blue leather couch and walked to her trusty bar to pour herself a drink.
If she wasn’t going to be shopping with her daughter, she may as well make the best of the day.

“What’s that mom?
I didn’t get that. I’m at Miranda’s to pick her up,” McKenna asked.

“Nothing important, honey,” Jamie smiled.
“You, Miranda and Lucas have a great day, okay? Enjoy the party.”

“Thanks mom! Bye,” McKenna said, ending the call.

Standing at the bar with two fingers of scotch swirling in her hand, Jamie tried to figure out if there really was a way to get Jason to see Samantha for what she really was: a son-stealing ice queen.

“Where’s Jason? Why isn’t he helping with the party set up?” Sara asked an hour after Jason left as she sliced a cucumber to finish off the vegetable tray.

“He ran to pick up something he said he promised her, and he’s picking up the cake,” Samantha said, pulling a baking sheet of pigs in a blanket from the oven.
She started to transfer them to the party tray, hoping the inquisition would stop with her answer.

“Oh?
Is that all?” Sara asked, “Then why did you blush at the question?”

“Fine!” she said, knowing further denial would only make her sisters more suspicious.
“He kissed me earlier, and I pushed him away, okay?”

“How did it happen?” Jessica’s green eyes glowed with Samantha’s confession.

“Honestly, I don’t know! We were arguing about how much time he spends with Corigan and how I’ve been distant lately, and he stuck his finger in my face as he was lecturing me,” Samantha said, leaning against the kitchen island.

“And then?” Sara asked, grabbing a box of juices out of the refrigerator.

“I asked him to get his finger out of my face, and when he refused, I bit it,” Samantha shrugged. “When I let go, I gave him a bitchy smile and then he lunged for me. I thought he was going to kill me…I was very wrong…”

“You bit him? And you didn’t expect him to kiss you?” Sara narrowed her eyes at her sister in suspicion.

“No!
Why would I?”

“Because about the age of, I don’t know, twenty?
” Jessica looked toward the ceiling for guidance, before nodding her head to agree with her thought and continuing, “Yes, twenty! About the age of twenty, biting stops being gross and mean, and starts being really, really hot,” she informed her sisters.

“No, it doesn’t,” Samantha waved her sisters off.

“No, Samantha, it really, really does,” Sara agreed, looking wistfully toward her husband.

“Ewww!
Sara, you didn’t have to take it there,” Jessica said, smacking her sister in the arm.

“What?” Sara asked, innocently, “You’re the one who brought it up!”

“Ugh! Can we talk about
anything
else, please?!” Samantha let out an exasperated sigh, “like what I’m supposed to do now. I don’t want to lead Jason on again.”

“Again?
This has happened before?” Jessica asked, leaning forward in interest. Samantha wanted to roll her eyes when she saw Sara on the other side of her in the same position.

“On his birthday, I may have tried to eat him alive, but it had been eight months since I’d been kissed by someone I cared ab—” Samantha froze at her words.

“So you admit you care, finally! Now we are getting somewhere,” Sara raised her hands as if to say ‘Halleluiah.’

“Tell us everything, don’t leave anything out!” Jessica bounced up and down in excitement.

“FINE! But you can’t say anything,” she held out an appetizer in warning, wishing it were a knife, but when both of her sisters mimed locking their lips and throwing the keys over their shoulders, she let the whole story spill out of her.

**

“Again?” Samantha heard Jason whisper into his phone from beside her. Glancing at the clock, she could see that it was well after last call, but knowing exactly who was on the phone. She contemplated turning to face him when he continued to talk to the caller. Freezing at his next words, her mind began to wander to places she didn’t want to think about.

“No, she’s asleep,” Jason told the caller.
“Of course, Missy, I won’t tell her and I’ll be right there,” he sighed, rolling out of bed, slowly, like he was being careful not to wake her. In the darkness, she watched him tiptoe through the bedroom getting dressed and gathering his things to save Missy, yet again.

Tears
started to sting her eyes as feelings of betrayal by her fiancé and her best friend washed over her. She wondered what Missy wanted Jason to keep from her and how many times he’d left their bed to rescue her that she didn’t know about.

Thinking about how bad his drinking was getting, she started to wonder if it was the stress of keeping a secret that was causing him to drink every night.
He wasn’t drinking to the point of getting drunk, but it was definitely more than something to help him unwind. She hated that he drank so much; it reminded her of her father and the way he’d acted before he’d been forced to leave.

Before
Jason left, Samantha felt him press a kiss to her forehead and whisper, “I’m sorry, Sammy. I love you.”

As she heard the bedroom door close, she sat up and stared into the darkness.
What was he sorry about? Didn’t he know that she loved him, too? Why did he feel the need to chase after Missy? Did she not make him feel wanted enough anymore? At that thought, the first tear fell down her cheek and she collapsed into the mattress, mourning a relationship she hadn’t known might be ending.

Two hours of sleeplessness later, she felt the bed shift beside her and the smell of Missy’s cheap perfume permeated the room.
If he hadn’t showered off her scent, did that mean he had nothing to hide and he had just driven her drunk ass home from whatever skank hole she’d found herself in? Or did he just not care to hide it anymore?

**

Once the party was in full swing, Samantha couldn’t handle the looks of longing she recognized from Jason. She knew he’d want to talk about what happened sooner rather than later and he was giving her a reprieve because it was her daughter’s birthday party. She didn’t know what to say to him, because she was still scared to let him back in. After everyone was busy eating cake and snacks, she snuck into her backyard for some peace and quiet so she could think.

She couldn’t deny how she was feeling anymore, though.
It was becoming more and more obvious with every day. On the anniversary of the accident, she’d wanted nothing more than to spend the day hiding out with Jason and letting him help her forget the pain of the day. She knew the only reason she wasn’t giving him another shot was the Missy incident. She’d forgiven him, but she wasn’t sure she could trust him like that again. Her mother had taken her father back when he promised it wouldn’t happen again for years, and had nothing to show for it. Besides, Samantha’s heart couldn’t take being shattered for a third time before she was thirty if he couldn’t resist the blonde who was determined to have him again. Yet, there was something that nagged at her about that whole situation, but she couldn’t put her finger on why.