This Can't be Life (48 page)

“You were barely a few months old at the time. No more than a couple months after we moved back into my mother’s house, she was gone. That cancer took her life so fast that I wasn’t prepared. Not that I ever would’ve been, but I just didn’t have enough time. I just wasn’t ready!” she cried. With tears streaming down my face, I got out of my seat and knelt in front of her wrapping my arms around her. I was trying to comfort her in any way I could. It was evident that she was still hurting from the loss of my grandmother.

“I’m sorry, Simone. I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be sorry. What’s done is done, okay? We can’t go back, so let’s just move forward. You can tell me the rest another time. I can wait,” I said, wiping the tears that wouldn’t stop coming out of my eyes.

“No, I need to finish so it can be out and you can know. You’ve waited long enough,” she insisted, as I took my seat and waited for her story to continue.

“After my mother died and I found out about your father being married, I was ruined. I wish I could have been stronger, but I wasn’t. I started having those old friends over that were into drugs. I started snorting coke and partying again, just trying to escape all the pain I was in. You’re father would come over and we would fight because he knew that I was doing drugs. He knew that I was getting deeper and deeper, but I couldn’t see it. One day, he came and got you, and said that he was just going to take you out for a while. I was too high to even be alarmed. That was the last day I saw you.” My mother sobbed into her hands. “Your father came back and told me that if I got myself together, he would bring you back. He told me that I couldn’t see you until I left those drugs alone completely.”

“Your father was a powerful man, who said what he meant. I knew there was no way he would let me even set eyes on you unless I got myself together. So, I went to live with my uncle in Virginia. I tried to clean my life up, but it was harder than I thought it was going to be. It took me over a year to get it together but, by then, I couldn’t find your father. Then, it was the oddest thing. I ran into your Uncle Junior in Virginia Beach. I was doing good and working and had myself together, so he gave me the number to call the house. I couldn’t wait to call. He gave me the number like Julius and Marie knew that I would be calling, but boy, when I called that house, that woman went crazy. Told me not to ever contact her family or she would kill me. She said that Julius would have me killed and that they didn’t want anything to do with me, that I would never see you again. I felt that my life was threatened and I was scared,” she cried. I wanted to kill that lady for keeping my mother away from me. This sounded just like something she would do. “I was scared, Simone. And I swear, after your father died, I tried to find you. I’ve been trying to find you since your father’s death,” she cried.

Listening to her story was therapeutic. I was happy that I had this chance to hear what she had to say. Everything she said about Marie was spot on and made me realize that she kept me away from my mother to spite her and to keep her away from my dad. She knew that as long as my father was alive, he would be in my life, and that meant being around Darlene. I always knew that Marie didn’t love me, but now I understood why. She kept me away just to punish Darlene for being with my father and me for being born. That woman is pure evil.

Talise

My wedding plans came together perfectly. Simone flew her mom in a few days before the wedding and booked a bungalow at The Beverly Hills Hotel for my bridal shower. We spent time before and after the shower getting to know Darlene. She was warm and kind, and she and my mother hit it off like they were old friends. I was surprised to see how much Simone looked like her mom. Prior to meeting her, I could’ve actually picked her out of a crowd because the similarity was so strong.

The day of my wedding, we all relaxed around my bridal suite. Simone was glowing and looking better than I’d ever seen her look. I could tell that she was happy and in love. I couldn’t have been more proud of her. She made it through all the mayhem and came out on the other side a stronger woman.

When she first started dating Carlton, I was very nervous and anxiety ridden the closer and closer she got to him. Initially, I thought he was going to be your typical thugged-out rapper, up to no good. There was just something about him that was very unsettling to me. I didn’t know if it had to do with him being married or if I was just paranoid and afraid that Simone would get hurt, but I was pleasantly surprised week after week, seeing how supportive he was of her and seeing that she was truly happy with him. I could tell that she loved Carlton more than she’d ever loved any man before, and there weren’t that many before. I’m not sure how Simone would have been after Stacey was killed if she hadn’t had someone there to be her rock. I was dealing with Stacey’s death the best I knew how and I couldn’t help her because I couldn’t even help myself. I was thankful that I had Malachi there to get me through those first couple of months after Stacey was murdered, and Carlton stepped up to the plate and was there for Simone. I couldn’t have been more appreciative of that.

Simone wasn’t sure if Carlton would be able to make it to my wedding. He had a prior engagement that he didn’t think he would be able to get out of, but he made it happen, which made me respect him even more. It was as if he was willing to stop whatever he was doing at the drop of a dime to please her, to make her happy, and she deserved it more than anyone I knew.

We were able to hold the wedding and reception on the Pacific Terrace at Shutters on the beach in Santa Monica. I had a sunset service, overlooking the ocean with the orange setting of the sun as our backdrop. My father walked me down the aisle layered with peach colored rose petals toward the most beautiful man that I had ever laid my eyes on. We said our vows under a white calla lily filled arch with Simone by my side. Malachi and I both cried while reciting our traditional vows. I couldn’t have felt more beautiful and loved as I stood, staring into his eyes.

Our first dance as husband and wife was to Prince’s
Adore.
Malachi chose the song and kept it a secret until the last moment. When I heard the first chords of the song come through the speakers and looked into my husband’s eyes, I cried on his shoulder. I felt as if we were the only two people in the room, although 45 of our closest friends and family were watching me dance my first dance as Doctor Malachi Edmonds’ wife.

The reception was just as beautiful as the wedding. Everyone sipped Rosé champagne, as we ate an array of beautifully prepared dishes. Our guests were served miniature red velvet cakes as Malachi and I shared a larger version that we cut hand and hand and fed to each other. Today was by far, the happiest day of my life.

Simone and I shared a long hug and a good cry right in the middle of the dance floor when the DJ played “Love It” by Bilal — which was one of Stacey’s favorite songs. No one who truly knew us had to guess what we were thinking about. This was an emotional moment for both of us. We missed him so much. At first, I tried to keep the tears from falling out of my eyes and messing up my makeup more than it already was, but it was a lost cause, so I let them fall. It was hard to accept that Stacey wasn’t there. It would have been all three of us standing there hugging like we always did, dancing together and having fun. If he were alive, he would have been standing next to us at that altar on the most important day of my life.

Although everyone keeps saying it will get better with time and that I’ll find closure, I know that I will never understand why this happened. There is no such thing as closure when someone you love has been brutally murdered. Especially when the person who did it is still walking around free! I know it hasn’t been that long, but everyday that Stacey’s death goes unsolved, I can’t rest. I won’t rest! It is so hard to deal with the fact that he is no longer around, that I can’t call his phone and hear his voice or listen to one of his crazy stories. What adds fuel to the fire is the way his life was taken. He didn’t deserve to die like that. All of the torture and torment that I know he went through rips through me like a knife whenever I allow myself to even think of it. While I was celebrating my pregnancy with Malachi, my best friend was being tortured and was all alone. While I was laughing and enjoying life, his was being taken slowly. Tears gushed down my face as I held onto Simone tighter and thought about the irony of it all. Here I am, carrying a life inside of me and a life that was so precious was taken. I knew it would get easier to deal with as time progressed, but at this moment, the pain was just too raw.

Other than the absence of the people we loved who were no longer alive to share in our wonderful union, our day was perfect. Everyone danced until way past midnight and continually toasted to our lifetime of happiness. Shortly after 1:00 in the morning, Malachi and I retired to our suite at Shutters. We were scheduled to take off on a three-week honeymoon to the south of France early the next morning. I was excited to finally get the chance to visit St. Tropez, Nice and Monte Carlo with my new husband. I knew it was going to be a very romantic trip.

Although it was hard to believe that I had just gotten married, I knew that God had a plan all along and all I had to do was follow his lead. You never know why things happen or why people are brought into your life. Some are there to stay and some are meant to come in, teach you something, and move on. I think about the car accident that brought Simone to Cedars Sinai and me to Malachi. That was all God’s doing. You can never know what wonderful things he has in store for you from one day to the next. Whenever I thought,
This Can’t Be Life
, the next day always came — a brand new day for a new beginning. This was my new beginning as the good doctor’s wife, Talise Edmonds.

Simone

It was a beautiful California day. The sun was shining and the air was fresh and crisp from the rain that fell the previous day. I was excited because I would be seeing my best friend for the first time since her wedding over three weeks ago.

After leaving my place, I grabbed my mail out of my mailbox in the garage, and dropped it into my oversized handbag. Once in my truck, I rolled down all of my windows, welcoming the cool breeze as I sped up the 10 freeway, heading to the Ivy on Robertson to meet Talise for lunch.

I had spoken to the lead detective handling Stacey’s murder investigation that morning and found out that the man who had been stalking Stacey had an airtight alibi for the time of the murder. They’d interviewed him and apparently, he was in New York guest lecturing for five days straight in front of over a hundred students at NYU’s Film School. There was no way he could have been in Vegas. However, he did confirm that he knew that Stacey was having an affair with Tyron Marks, which gave some credibility to our insistent pleas to look further into Stacey’s dealings with Tryon. I was hopeful that his corroboration of that relationship would give the detectives the confidence to put more pressure on Tyron or dig deeper into the possibility that he had something to do with Stacey’s murder. The forensic evidence that was sent off to the lab had yet to come back. I was told it could take close to six months, if not longer, to get DNA or fiber evidence back. The detective assured me that he was in it for the long haul and wouldn’t give up on finding out who killed Stacey, no matter how long it took. That gave me some comfort, but not much. Every day, I was becoming more and more frustrated, because the son of a bitch who did this was walking the streets, thinking he got away scot-free with brutally killing my friend.

With all that was on my mind, the last thing I needed was for traffic to grind to a halt. Bad traffic wasn’t  unusual for
Los Angeles
, but today it pissed me off more than usual. It was a damned Sunday afternoon and there was no reason for there to be traffic at this time of day! This is what I hate most about LA. No matter what time of day it is, you had to be prepared for delays. They were guaranteed. Even at 11:00 at night when you thought people would be at home sleeping or at least getting ready for bed, it could take twice the normal time to get from point A to point B, especially on the 405.

While I sat with my foot planted on the brake in a sea of traffic, I grabbed my mail out of my handbag and began to sift through it. Discarding junk mail into one pile on the passenger seat and putting the mail that needed my attention back into my handbag, I noticed a letter from Bank of America addressed to Stacey and opened it immediately. I knew that Stacey banked with Washington Mutual, so I had no idea what it could be. I opened the envelope and pulled out the folded paper. It was a bill for a safe deposit box at a branch in Studio City. I was truly baffled because Stacey never mentioned having a safe box and we never found a key when we cleared out his house.