All For Anna (33 page)

I was not in control,
nor would I ever be.

I was currently in the
kitchen making my second batch of peanut butter balls. Stacie planned on
delivering them to the school staff she volunteered for tomorrow. I shut the
pantry with my foot after grabbing another cup of powdered sugar, when I heard
a knock at the door.

At only a week before
Christmas, the amount of neighborhood activity had increased tenfold.
Everything from middle school students selling their last roll of wrapping
paper, to dedicated church members trying to get the message of baby Jesus out,
all had stood on our doorstep as of late. I dried my hands on a towel and
walked to the door, pulling it open.

I blinked a thousand
times before my eyes could
believe
what I was seeing.

“Hey, Sister.”

I jumped into his arms
as he twirled me in the air, hugging me tight. Jack was home three weeks early!
I screamed in delight, feeling happier than I had in weeks. His deep jovial
laugh echoed down the street.

“Is she still out?”
Jack asked.

“Yes, come in quick.
She should be home any minute,” I said.

He came inside the
entry way and I couldn’t help but squeal again. Stacie had better be sitting
down for this surprise or she would have that baby much earlier than planned.

“It’s so great to see
you, Tori,” Jack said.

“It’s wonderful to see
you too, Jack!” I said. “Now, where do we hide you?”

Jack quickly put his
luggage in the closet, out of view from both the garage and the front door. He
stood near the pantry, ready to escape into it at the first sound of Stacie’s
homecoming. I grew anxious as the minutes ticked, but finally, I heard the
familiar purr of her car engine as she rolled into the garage.

“Ah, you would not
believe how crazy it is out there. Why do I always wait to shop? The lines and
the traffic…it’s all horrid!” Stacie said, waddling into the kitchen, arms
over-loaded with bags.

“Stacie, here...let me
take those. Go into the living room and sit down, let me get you something to
drink,” I said.

“Uh, okay?” She was
looking at me like I had four heads.

“What? I can’t offer my
very
pregnant sister a cup of hot tea? Go in there and sit, you
shouldn’t have been out so long,” I said, sounding more like a nurse than a
sister.

“Huh, you’re probably
right. My feet are
killing
me,” she said, waddling to the couch.

When she was out of
sight and I heard her shoes clunk down on the coffee table, I opened the pantry
door to let Jack out. He grinned wide and I bit my cheeks trying not to laugh
with giddy anticipation. I walked into the room before him.

“Stace?” I said.

“Yeah? Where’s the
tea...are we all out?” Stacie asked, looking at my empty hands.

“No...Not exactly, but
I did find something
else in the pantry,” I said.

“What? Not a mouse I
hope…” she said, eyes growing wide.

“No...I’m afraid I’m
slightly larger than a mouse,” Jack said, stepping around the corner into full
view.

At first Stacie did
nothing.

She was a statue, jaw
unhinged and open. It wasn’t until Jack took a step toward her that her trance
was broken. Squeals and tears came non-stop. The reunion was perfect; a
Christmas present she’d never forget.

The next several hours
were filled with Jack’s stories of the sights and sounds of Australia. Though
his weekdays had been filled with office work, he had spent nearly every
weekend adventure-seeking in the land down under. Stacie and I were caught up
in gut wrenching laughter as he told the story of his first time snorkeling in
the ocean.

“...before I realized,
I was way out past the buoy marker...just caught up in my own world of tropical
fish. The problem was the tide had gone out and I had to make my way back over
about two hundred feet of reef,” Jack said. “By the time I finally reached the
beach, my chest, belly and legs bore the scars of that sharp sea demon.”

Jack was a fantastic
storyteller. I could listen to him for days on end, but I also knew he and
Stacie needed their time alone as well. I finished my tasks in the kitchen and
bundled up to head outside. The air was crisp, not yet cold enough for ice or
snow, but a coat was much more than a casual accessory these days.

 I walked the length of
their street, looking at the light displays on the houses and yards in the
neighborhood. Stacie’s house was the only one without the outward twinkling of
Christmas
spirit
, but I was sure Jack would change that soon enough.

What else would change?

The question in one sense
had little to do with Jack’s return. I couldn't be happier now that he was home
with Stacie and the baby. Yet, in another sense, I couldn’t help but feel a bit
lost. My purpose in Dallas had been to keep Stacie company during her pregnancy
while Jack was overseas. To support her, help her, take care of her, although
in truth, she had done far more of that for me. I stuffed my hands down inside
my coat pockets, my fingers aching from the cold.

As surprising as it was
for me to admit that I had really enjoyed living with Stacie, I knew it
couldn’t last forever, nothing ever did. With the arrival of the baby quickly
approaching and Jack’s return home, I needed to start making plans,
immediately. The last thing I wanted to do was cramp a growing family. A family
who had already given me more than I could ever re-pay, they had given me the chance
to start anew.

**********

As I checked-in at the
nurses’ station, a huddle of women stood at the bulletin board discussing New
Year’s Eve plans. I rolled my eyes.

It’s two weeks away
ladies, seriously?

But as I rounded the
corner to grab my first chart of the day, I stopped short.

Kai’s face.

A huge poster on the
bulletin board stared back at me. It was surrounded by a group of nursing
staff.

“Hi, Tori, looks like
your boyfriend’s got a pretty big gig on New Year’s Eve, huh? You must be so
proud of him,” Bev said.

“Uh...he’s not...he’s
not-” I started.

“Oh, that’s right. I
think I heard about that, you guys broke up, right? Bummer, and right before
the holidays, too,” Bev quipped, coming to my side, her fire-red nails stroking
my arm.

Yeah right, ‘think I
heard about that…’

Of course she had
heard, she was the leader of all things gossip related.

“It’s fine, really,” I
said.

“Well, the whole
hospital’s been talking about it—the New Year’s Eve Party, not your breakup, of
course,” Bev said, laughing without a smile.

“Everyone I know has
already bought tickets. It should be quite a night from the plans I keep
hearing about. Too bad you’ll miss it,” she said, sticking her bottom lip out.

“Who says I’ll miss
it?” I asked, heat coursing through me.

“Oh...well, I assumed
because-”

“Well you know what
they say about a person that
assumes,
Bev.”

With that I walked down
the hall, chart in hand, leaving her to gawk and gossip all she wanted. I would
not be anyone’s charity case, however fake and misguided Bev’s intentions were.

My skin crawled at the
thought of her little nurse posse talking about Kai. If not for the sake of my
professionalism at work, I would have said much more than I had. Of course, I
had absolutely no intention of going to that party, but Bev’s comment had just
made things a bit more complicated.

Pride sucked.

Why do I even care what
she thinks? I’m not going—that’s it.

Each evening after
eight o’clock, Meg Holt had allowed Christmas music to be played throughout the
main hall, as long as it was kept at a minimal volume. The mood changed almost
instantaneously.

The night had been
fairly low key and few staff were needed, most were caught up in the hallway
talking about Christmas plans. The others were doing paperwork so they could
exit the second their shift was over. Not feeling much enthusiasm to join in on
another yet holiday discussion, I watched the clock.

“Hey there, Tori,” Meg
said.

“Hi, slow night, huh?”
I asked.

“Yeah, kinda nice
though for a change, except for the slow tick of that clock,” she laughed.

“Yes, exactly,” I said.

She turned to the desk
and riffled through a folder.

“I don’t know if you’ve
heard about the nurse's abroad program yet, but I have a flier here if you
think you might be interested.”

She handed me a bright
yellow piece of paper with the words “Consider Africa” centered at the top in
bold lettering.

“What is it?” I asked,
studying the page.

“It’s basically a
twelve-month opportunity to be on a mobile medical team. They focus on taking
vaccines and nutritional care to villages all around Africa. Because it’s
mobile, you don’t stay in one place for longer than a week at a time, so you
would really get to experience a lot. If I didn’t have a husband and kids I’d
be all over something like that,” she said.

I continued to read it,
examining the pictures that bordered both sides of the page, “Huh...well,
thanks.”

“The deadline to sign
up is February first, team leaves March one,” Meg said, strolling away in her
Birkenstocks.

Africa.

The clock finally read
ten till midnight.

I started my walk to my
locker to collect my keys and phone. I was anxious to leave. Standing around in
a hospital with no work to do was the thing I liked least about nursing; thank
goodness it was a rarity in my particular department. I bundled up and headed
out the main emergency doors. At this time of night all the other doors were
locked and armed for security reasons, this made the walk to my car much
longer.

“Tori?”

I jumped at the sound
of the male voice behind me, dropping my phone, keys, and the Consider Africa
brochure to the ground. Adrenaline surged so strong through my body that the
hairs on my neck stood up straight. The man knelt down instantly, gathering up
my scattered belongings.

“I’m sorry; I was
trying to figure out a way not to startle you, but couldn’t think of any. Here,
let me help,” Briggs said.

“What on earth are you
doing out here, Briggs?” I snapped.

He handed me my phone
and keys and then slowly the yellow brochure, reading the words on the front. I
snatched it from his hand.

“What’s up?” I said,
growing increasingly impatient.

“Look, I know I’m not
on your top-ten-favorite-people-list right now, but...but Kai’s-” Briggs
started, his face tentative.

My stomach dropped,
knotting instantly.

“What about Kai? Is he
sick? Is something wrong?” I asked, my words rushing out.

His face seemed to
change with my last question, as if he was considering it
carefully or
maybe considering
me
carefully.

“What? Just tell me,
Briggs!” I stomped my foot.

“Maybe not sick in a
conventional
way exactly, but-”

“You know, I have heard
enough lies from the two of you. Ironic, isn’t it? Look who the game players
are now—Batman and Robin, both.”

I turned from him
quickly and continued to walk in the direction of my car.

“Stop, Tori, please.
You’re right. I did know that he was at your accident that night. What I didn’t
know—or rather, what I didn’t understand was why he was so
impacted
by
you that night. That is, until I met you for myself, until I saw you save my
best friend’s life at the risk of your own,” he said, getting in front of me,
causing me to stop mid-stride. “Don’t you find it the least bit odd that out of
this whole huge city he meets
your
bother-in-law who just happens to
attend his same church? Then only months later he realizes that the girl he’d
prayed for...the girl he had cared for in the back of his rig, was you? He
couldn’t have planed all that, Tori; he’s not some creepy stalker. He
loves
you.”

The word was a physical
blow, causing me instant pain all over.

“
Love
…really?
That’s what you think
love
is Briggs? Because all I hear is
deception
,
and last time I checked that wasn’t the best foundation to build a
relationship on,” I said.

“Tori, he is beyond
regretful for not telling you sooner. I’ve never seen a man so broken.” Briggs
paused and looked at me, a new resignation in his voice. “Answer me this, can
you
honestly
tell me that you would’ve given him a chance if he had told
you all that up front?”

I stared into his hard
eyes, knowing the answer.

No.