Chasing Forever (3 page)

Chapter 3

Toby

“I’ve been in love with Troy since before I broke things off with you.”

Blinking a few times, I shook my head from the difficultly of wrapping my head around the information she
’d just struck me with.

In love…

With another man
? Sure, she’d dated him, but enough to fall in love that fast even before she had resolved her unfinished business with me?
It’s a high possibility
, my mind mocked, leaving me with anxiety.

“Don’t fuck with me like this
, Luce…” I begged while I stared at her in disbelief, not willing to accept the lies that kept spewing out of her mouth.

“It’s the truth.”

Not only did her words leave me broken, but they also squashed what little lightness I had left in my life. Last night had given me hope, yet after this revelation, Lucy left me in a world of ceaseless pain and suffering.

I could tell she was waiting for me to say something—anything to challenge what she
’d just said. I didn’t think my love for her would be enough for me to recover from this alone, so if she intended to say something more, I knew with all that I was that I couldn’t handle it.

Without a backward glance, I rushed out of the villa, past the awaiting car that was supposed to take me to the airport, and headed straight into
the night, needing to get lost and never be found.

Three hours later, I found myself calling the driver to pick me up at a bar.

After hours of contemplation, I knew what I had to do. Even though I could barely speak coherently due to being too inebriated, my mind was clear as sky on a sunny day when I thought of Lucille Connelly.

It started with me calling her Lucille. Then Lucy for short before it became Luce.

Our story had begun quickly, like a rollercoaster ride—dipping high and low in accelerated speed with no means of stopping. Like most relationships, we’d had our rough times, however it had always been her who would pull us back together with the use of her endless supply of love and sunny optimism.

Falling in love with her
had seemed natural, like how the sun sets and rises. Like the seasons shifts and changes. Loving her had consumed me from the beginning and I had thought then that I was the luckiest man alive to have such a gem in my life. Little had I known that about two years later, the life I had once planned for would merely be a thing of the past.

An illusion.

A fantasy.

And yet
, even though I knew this path was surely never going to happen, I still found myself thinking about the past.

Thinking about my Luce.

Thinking about how we had once been together—blinded by love and happiness.

What
had led us astray?

The half-filled glass of whiskey with two large ice cubes enticed my attention as I softly played the piano. Lucy was in the kitchen scavenging a light snack—she was famished—while I sat there and lazily played the keys, satisfaction humming in my blood.

Our weekends were filled with
an unlimited supply of heated, sensual shagging, and tonight wasn’t an exception. After the tumultuous afternoon I had with my parents, I needed this—needed her—to heal me once more and bring me back to my old self.

I was engrossed
in the piano, making sure I was hitting the right keys to Moonriver, when Lucy came over, carrying something in her hand. She had an animated smile, beautifully blushing as she held the chocolate cupcake with whipped dark chocolate topping before me that had a small party candle on it. “Happy birthday!”

I gasped with enthusiasm. “You didn’t!”

Blowing the candle out, I grinned like a silly kid, touched by her gesture. She didn’t have to go through the lengths of throwing me an elaborate party because with her mere cupcake alone it went beyond words. It was the thought that mattered most, and one of the main things I admired about this woman—she could easily afford extravagance, but she always tended to keep it simple. A trait I admired in a woman.

My hunger went past admiration as I pulled her against me, holding her around the hips. “How did you know?” Blake was out of town, and since I wasn’t speaking to my parents at the moment, I
had decided not to mention it to anyone. Not even Lucy. So imagine my surprise when she came out with this.

She had one of my dress shirts on, looking demure and yet provokingly enticing as she nervously played with one of the buttons with her thumb and finger. “I hope you don’t mind, but I snooped a bit the first week we started dating.”

Women. Why am I not surprised? “Did you now…” I mused. God, I loved the way she blushed and how her eyes would spark blue fire each time she felt like she was being challenged.

“Certainly. You were in the shower when I took hold of your wallet and pulled out your I.D. I swear it was only for age verification
, nothing more.”

“Oh
, really?” The magnetic energy that surrounded us as we stared into each other was electrifying. Tantalizing.

“Yes
, birthday boy,” she murmured, shyly looking up as her eyes flickered back and forth, as if searching for some truth in me. “The other night, I heard your conversation with Blake on the phone.” She nervously paused. “I don’t particularly know what’s going on with your family, but I just want to let you know that I’m here for you, too. If you need someone’s ear to listen to your grumbles, or to have someone to empathize in your situation, or to have someone to ease some of the stress with, I can be that person for you. ” She took a deep breath while her eyes flashed with momentary fright. “I love you… I have for quite some time now.”

Literally, my heart skittered about at her confession. How often had I held my tongue from speaking those very same words each time I made love to her?

Countless.

And how long ha
d I pined for her to feel the same way?

Way before she
had noticed I existed.

Yes, I ha
d been captivated the very second my eyes found her. She possessed me in ways I had never thought possible.

A part of me wanted to tease her and question specifics about when she
’d realized she was in love with me, but my emotions were quite too profound to even comprehend anything. “You own my heart, Luce. In every which way—it’s yours.” Cradling her cheek, my mouth delved into her lips, kissing her with such hungered passion that I felt completely and utterly undone.

I was hers.

She pulled back a little, gazing up at me with pure love shining in her depths. “Don’t break my heart,” she murmured with evident vulnerability.

She’d
had boyfriends before I had come along, but for some reason, I felt like Lucy was giving me something precious she hadn’t given any man before—something greater than her love—and I felt undone

“I can’t promise you that
, but I can guarantee that I will put you above everything else and promise that I will always stay truthful to you.” That was better than a promise any man could deliver to a woman. Promises were meant to be broken. Vows, on the other hand, mostly came from the heart, as did mine.

She merely nodded before giving me a small kiss on the lips. “You’re mine, Mr. Watson.”

Watching her lick her bottom lip, I let out a low, deep growl. One that sounded as if my body was revving up for another round. On the bed. On the piano. The kitchen. I wanted her everywhere with her body spread out, naked, lustful, until I’d had my fill. Until I had finished unleashing this rotted need to experience her fully—body, mind and soul.

It was a madness of nonsensical emotions, but who could truly define a person being in love anyway? It
was like an obsessive lunacy—nothing had ever been enough to appease a man’s appetite.

A man could never appreciate love until he
had experienced it himself.

And I was that smitten man, driving blind
ly into the unknown darkness on cruise control.

Chapter 4

Toby

Present

“I want a divorce.”

Amelia snorted, unfazed while giving me a nasty glare before looking away. She was carefully putting her make-up on, readying to leave to meet her friends. “Like that will ever happen. I’m pregnant. You can’t leave me,” she said nonchalantly, as if what I was demanding was of no concern to her.

Amelia was a bitch
, I knew that quite well. Each day I was seeing the rotten side of her and I couldn’t stomach the stench of her blackened heart. Her dismissive attitude did not help with my mood. She liked to provoke me to see if she had the capability to make me lose my cool, but I hadn’t gotten that temperamental with her. A part of me felt bad for her—at one point in time we were somehow comrades in our broken hearts and unrequited love—but I could only endure so much before all Hell broke loose, and when that day ever arrived, I wouldn’t hold back an inch.

Glaring at her reflection, I shrugged before striding towards the walk-in closet, yelling, “Too bad
‘cause I’m packing as soon as I can.”

I was a rational man. Compared to my best friend, Knightly, I could be mistaken for a saint. I wasn’t
the one with a flaring temper, but leave it to Amelia to fuck with my head to the point that rationale went out the window.

Pressing the button on the side drawer to automatically open the cabinet door that held my luggage, I impatiently waited as I listened for the quiet
, swift sound of it opening when I heard the Spanish she-devil emerge, mouth loaded with foul ammunition.

“And
do
what, mi amor? Go back to
her
?” she sneered, rolling her dark eyes at me. She was wearing a long, silk red dress that strategically hid her blossoming belly. Amelia loved to wear red—probably because she loved to provoke raging bulls, like me for instance.

“She’s gone.”

Her words affected me, of course they did, and she knew it. Nevertheless, it had taken me quite some time to realize that, if I was going to be miserable forever, I’d rather do it alone, without having to deal with this rubbish. Due to my brokenness, I had let my parents bulldoze me into marrying her. I had also let myself succumb to her advances even though I had known she was all sorts of bad news. However, I wasn’t that shattered, weakened man any longer because, after that one night with Lucy, I had somehow regained my conscience. It was like the heavy fog had been lifted, and I could see clearly for the very first time since she had dumped me.

“I’ll have my lawyers contact you,” I said as I pulled out my phone and started texting the lawyer my aunt
had given me. She had never favored this marriage to begin with, so when I had mentioned that I was thinking about divorcing or annulling the marriage, she had immediately got the ball rolling.

My aunt was lovely and adored Lucy like she was her own daughter. Since she and her husband couldn’t bear
children, they’d treated me like I was their own. As shitty as my parents were to me, my aunt and uncle had given an overabundance of love and affection, fulfilling what my parents had lacked in any department. So, even though I would get wrath from parting ties with Amelia’s powerful family, my aunt’s approval was enough to push me into putting things into motion.

“I’m going to fucking ruin you
, and you won’t ever see this child. Never!” she growled, almost launching herself at me with those long, red lacquered nails that reminded me of a witch.

The baby
. I was still on the fence with that one since rumors had started circulating after we had announced our nuptials that she had been sleeping with a married man, though she’d vehemently denied all of it, of course. Therefore, I had been left to wonder.

“Try threatening me when I get the DNA results, stating this child is truly mine. The second you give birth to that child, I will make sure to coordinate the testing myself. I’m done playing mind games with you. It’s game over, Amelia.” Blake had suggested this, only confirming the doubts I
’d had to begin with that Amelia was capable of that kind of viciousness. She was, after all, a woman scorned—too heartbroken to think straight—and would do anything to try and hurt me. Hurting me would indirectly wound her main target—my best friend, Blake Knightly.

The results could be doctored
, and I needed to make sure that the baby was mine before I negotiated visitation rights. If it was mine, I was going to be a part of his or her life, whether she approved or not.

“I won’t let this happen.” She was shaking in rage. “I won’t let you pigs ruin me again. I will see to it!”

“You came on to me so many times after I had declined you—you wouldn’t take no for an answer. I am fucking done with your hissy fits.” I zipped up my things and looked over whatever else I needed to get before I gave her one last look then immediately departed, leaving her on the verge of combustible fury.

Threats, big or small,
wouldn’t sway me.

This
had started with Lucy and it would end with Lucy, that was all I could be certain of.

She m
ight think she didn’t want me, but she had at one point. She certainly had in Rome. Though she wouldn’t admit to it, I had felt her giving me her all. With each kiss, with every touch, each moan, and with each intensifying stroke of her tongue; the woman with whom I had made love that night had been with me all the way. I had no doubt that it was
my
Lucy that I had held that night. One night with her had been all I needed to free myself of this burden—the regrets I had carried for quite awhile.

And I
would surely get her back.

It
would take some time, but I would eventually make her love me again.

+++

“This is your mother. After what you did to our family, you can at least have the decency to take one of my calls. Your father, grandmother and I are all disappointed in you.”
She sounded like she was trying to hold her temper but failing miserably.
“You have shamed us all beyond belief. How could you do this to me? How dare you do this to your family?”
She made a sniffing sound before pausing and then her evil voice returned.
“Fix this or we will disown you.”
And at that, she disconnected from my voicemail.

My mother reminded me a lot of Amelia. She
, too, had been having a ball, calling and leaving voice messages at ungodly hours. I tried to delete as much as I could, yet sometimes, I couldn’t spare my energy for idiocy.

Normally, since I was based in Marbella, I should be heading straight to Blake’s villa that overlooked the Mediterranean Sea
. It had been my residence for over a year now, but I simply didn’t want to be in Spain any longer. Not only was I homesick, thoughts of permanently moving back to England had been taking precedence as of late.

I just wanted my home. I wanted to be near Lucy.

During a quick call to Blake, in which I only gave him the small version of what had happened with my farcical union of a marriage, I told him I was heading home. And since I was already in the process of eliminating a lot of things in my life, I quit my job as the financial head of Knightly Industries. I used to love it, but now, I felt like I needed to head in a different direction. Somewhere that I could have more growth, learn the ropes on my own.

Maybe it was time to pursue my dreams, one at a time.

I had always wanted to have my own Hedge Fund firm. Following that dream was as good as any. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

The main goal at the end of this trail was to have Lucy back.
For me to accomplish that, I had to attain something of my own—a sense of worth, enough to feel deserving of standing by her side. I had done enough damage to the both of us. I hoped, sooner rather than later, that I could be on my way to fixing this. And I would, however first, I needed to be a free man. Free from all of those leeches that were latching onto me, draining me of everything that I was—Amelia, my family, and all the other bad influences in my life. Starting at the beginning, I needed to wipe everything out. It would be difficult to get there, but I would accomplish it. I had one goal in mind, and she was more than worthy to suffer through Heaven and Hell for.