How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure (12 page)

try mimicking them as best you can with moistened fingers. Your There is no way I can relax after that.” This is a clear signal that at fingers will create a different sensation, yet you will still have the no time will a manicure be more appreciated. A manicure is, without memory to draw on. A musician from Seattle said, “Learning what a a doubt, the sign of a well-groomed, confident man. Trust me, ladies woman likes is like learning to play a completely new instrument.

do look at your hands, not just for the urban legend reasons You have working knowledge of the chords for x, but this is y, and it associated with genital dimension but also to imagine what your takes practice, practice, practice to feel comfortable and get to where hands would feel like on their bodies. If they see jagged, bit-off nails, you know what you’re doing.”

your appeal factor may drop significantly. And no woman wants a man with dirty fingernails to touch her!

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Use lotion if you have or tend to have rough hands. Remember, a Although watching a woman masturbate will definitely give you lady’s skin is not as thick as yours. Calluses may scratch her and will ideas, you will still not be touching her as she touches herself.

feel rough against her skin. One woman told me, “My husband Instead, best directions will come from her guiding your hand.

works with his hands and he used to scratch my skin when he touched me. Now he knows that a foot massage is the best thing to relax me and get me in the mood, so when I walk in the room with the lotion, he knows he’s likely to ‘get some.’ I get my foot massage, Getting Started

he softens his big ol’ rough hands, and things just happen from there.

Brilliant, huh?”

The absolute key to perfecting your ability to arouse her to heights of pleasure with your hands and fingers is knowing how and where to
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touch her. Without a doubt, if you don’t know where you’re going, To test if your nails are short enough and won’t accidentally nick you won’t know what to do once you’ve arrived. With that in mind, I her, test their length by curving your finger downward like a have provided you with another guide so that you will not feel like fishhook and rub the gum area below your lower front teeth. If you’re lost in the wilderness. I’ve also offered some helpful tips on you can feel your nail, she will, too. You might consider lubrication. These hints apply not only to manual stimulation but also trimming them. Remember, your fingers are gaining access into to oral and anal sex as well as intercourse.

and onto the most sensitive areas of a woman’s body. She won’t Before letting your fingers do the talking, please wash your be able to enjoy herself if your fingers cause her discomfort.

hands. There are two main reasons. First, the mucosal tissue of a woman’s genital area is extremely delicate, and second, the natural Openmirrors.com

Her Genitalia

skin on each side filled with fatty tissue, sweat and oil glands, and nerve endings. The two outer lips usually meet and cover the urinary I am presuming you’re familiar with the nuts and bolts of this region, and vaginal opening when the woman is not aroused or has her legs but I thought you might welcome some extra information so you together. The labia minora (the inner lips) are inside the outer lips really understand what you’re touching, where women want you to and extend from just above the clitoris to below the vaginal opening.

touch them, and in some cases, how you might want to touch them These two folds of skin are thinner and do not have pubic hair or for her maximum benefit and your maximum results. Let me be fatty tissue, but they have more nerve endings than the outer lips.

frank here. It is not unusual for men to be found rooting around in Even though they are called “inner,” it is not unusual for them to the dark in this area. A woman’s body is a bit mysterious—ofttimes protrude beyond the outer lips.

for us, as much for you. Most noticeable of the physical differences between men and women is the fact that male genitals are in full view, up front and center, while some of the most important parts of
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a woman’s genitalia can be seen only if the woman spreads her legs.

In 50 percent of women the inner labia extend past the outer And this applies only to the external genitalia. She also has internal labia.

genitalia.

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Men have a gazillion names for their genitals, some more privately known than others. Women typically have one—”down there.”

Despite the differences, a woman’s genitalia in many ways corresponds to your own. In fact, up until six to eight weeks there is no difference between the XX (female) embryo and XY (male) embryo. We all start out female in utero. It is during the embryonic stage, at about eight weeks, that the production of the male hormone testosterone starts. The addition of testosterone turns the potential labia into a scrotum and the potential clitoris into the head of a penis.

The entire area of the external female genital anatomy is called the vulva. The mons pubis is an area of fatty tissue that forms a soft mound over the pubic bone. The mons is covered by skin and pubic
The Vulva

hair. The labia majora (often called the outer lips) extend down from the mons to below the vaginal opening. These consist of a fold of

“the external tip of the clitoris or glans connects on the inside to a pyramid shaped mass of erectile tissue, far larger than previously described. The ‘body’ of the clitoris, which connects to the glans, is about as big as the first joint of your thumb. It has two arms (or legs) up to nine centimeters long that flare backwards into the body, lying just a few millimeters from the ends of the muscles that run up the inside of the thigh. Also extending from the body of the clitoris, and filling the space between the arms, are two bulbs, one on each side of the vaginal cavity.”

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Like an iceberg, most of the clitoris is hidden inside the body.

Different Female Genitalia

The color of the genitalia varies among women (pink, red, purple, and black are all normal) and may change during arousal. As men’s genitalia differ in size, shape, and color, so do the labia minora and majora vary in size, shape, and degree of sensitivity. The head (or glans) of the clitoris is just below where the inner lips meet at the top and is covered with a small fold of skin, the prepuce (equivalent to the foreskin/prepuce in an uncircumcised man). It is a small, sensitive organ at the upper end of the vulva, made up of tissue, blood vessels, and nerves. Hooded by skin, it looks like a tiny dot to the naked eye, but, in fact, most of the clitoris is internal, not external. According to research done by Dr. Helen O’Connell, Urological Surgeon at the Royal Melbourne Hospital in Australia,
The Clitoris

stimulation (as it often is in men). Sometimes it’s called the taint—

”‘tain’t one, ‘tain’t the other.” One seminar attendee called it the
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Veranda, and suggests sucking on it or massaging it with your The clitoris takes its name from the Greek kleitoris, which means fingers. Some women love the sensation!

“little hill.”

During sexual stimulation, the pelvic region fills with blood, and Let me start this way: You cannot see the vagina, as it is on the the clitoral “tip” swells and becomes firm. This is why after you have inside of the woman’s body. This can be confusing. As I’ve just stimulated the area, a woman’s clitoris is harder to find and doesn’t described, the vulva and outer labia are visible with the naked eye, seem as prominent. Like the penis, it has engorged with blood, but the vagina is not. It’s also true that the vagina changes in size and become erect, and lifted under the prepuce. Since the “clitoral legs”

shape, according to the stage of a woman’s arousal. It was once run (see figure 5.3) underneath the labia, any stimulation to the described for me this way: “Imagine you are slipping the best part of urethral, vaginal, or anal areas will indirectly stimulate the clitoral you into a warm, wet, very soft leather glove. It’s the combination of body as well. This forking of the clitoral legs down and under either the heat, the pressure, and the moisture that makes it so amazing.”

side of the labia explains why for some women the most pleasurable The vagina begins in a constricted state, and when a woman is use of a vibrator isn’t directly on the clitoral bud. They say it is too stimulated mentally, visually, or physically, she will start lubricating intense. Rather, holding it against the side of the labia, pressing on within thirty seconds. Just because she is lubricated, however, does the fatty tissue of the outer labia, reaches a broader field of the not mean that she is “ready” for pentration—whether with your clitoris with less intense vibration.

fingers or your penis. Instead, the biggest indicator that a woman is Just below the clitoral tip is the very small urinary opening, the relaxed is her breathing. The deeper it becomes, the more relaxed she urethra, and below that is the entrance to the vagina. When you see is.

how close these two openings are, it is easier to understand why so many women experience urinary tract infection after having sex. The infection is a result of new and different bacteria being introduced
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into the urethra due to the rubbing and thrusting action of The vagina lubricates and relaxes, allowing for deeper penetration intercourse. Hence the term “honeymooner’s disease” for this and deposit of the sperm near the cervix. Mother Nature knew condition, cystitis.

what she was doing in the design category. The penis and vagina make an amazingly great fit! Not that I had to tell you.

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In an unaroused state, the vagina is a tube about three to four The Latin mons veneris means “mound of Venus,” for the Roman inches long, which is why an average, five-inch erect penis feels like goddess of love.

enough for most women. The vagina is made of muscle and ridged on the inner surface with rugae, or little ridges, and is covered on the Below the vaginal opening and where the labia meet is a small inside walls with a mucosal surface—similar to the lining of the area of smooth, usually hairless skin called the perineum. And below mouth. This is the surface that produces the vaginal lubrication.

that is the anus. This entire perineal area can be very sensitive to Unless a woman is sexually aroused, the vaginal walls touch each
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other. Any woman who has inserted a tampon knows this—it feels One man described the G-spot this way: “Sometimes it has felt much tighter than when she is aroused and a penis is inside of her.

like a bean, sometimes like a pea. It starts off smooth and gets When a woman becomes aroused, the walls of the vagina produce a textury.’“

slippery liquid and the vaginal walls balloon open so that a penis will fit inside, and, of course, they can be stretched even more during birth.

Some women are capable of orgasming with direct stimulation of The degree of a woman’s tightness is related to the tightness of this area, which may result in a woman’s ejaculating, which I go into the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles at the opening of her vaginal barrel.

further in Chapter Eight when I describe female orgasms. The source (The rest of the vaginal barrel expands to accommodate the penis.) of the female ejaculation is the paraurethral glands, which are located The appearance and texture of vaginal secretions vary throughout on either side of the urethra, which is why some people think that the each monthly reproductive cycle as conditions inside the vagina fluid is urine. The paraurethral glands act like a salivary gland, respond to changes in hormonal levels. This will account for changes squirting or expressing fluid when stimulated. All women have this in discharge and the woman’s natural lubrication. Menopausal and urethral sponge or G-spot, but not all respond in the same way to its postmenopausal women also have variances in their lubrication.

stimulation. Some women find their G-spot feels no different from Other factors also affect a woman’s ability to self-lubricate, other parts of the vaginal barrel; for others, stimulating this dime-size including alcohol and medications, which can dehydrate the body. In area can send them through the rafters. Yet, again, the difficulty can general, a woman’s vagina is one of the most self-maintaining and be in locating it. I know a sex therapist who even had difficulty self-cleansing areas of the body. Semen naturally flows out of it, and locating her own G-spot, despite being very comfortable with her with regular bathing and cleansing of the labial areas it requires little body and aware of all her parts. She had to have her partner show her else. Unless directed otherwise by a physician, there is no need to where it was. Truly, in some cases, it’s like trying to find the Holy douche. Besides being unnecessary, douching can be harmful and is Grail, but if you are patient and sensitive, between the two of you, I the number one cause of bladder and vaginal infections in the United trust you will be able to find her G-spot.

States. As an ob-gyn said, “Women who douche pay my mortgage.”

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THE G-SPOT

When you’re using water-based lubricants, here’s a little tip to The G-spot was first recognized by the gynecologist Ernst remember: They can all be brought back to life with a few drops Grafenberg. But it was Dr. John D. Perry and Dr. Beverly Whipple of water. If you find your Tube is getting a little sticky or thick who named it the G-spot after Dr. Grafenberg. The G-spot is yet due to evaporation, a couple of additional drops of H20 will another nonvisible part of a woman’s anatomy. It is located in the return it to its full lubricity. There’s more than one reason to keep tissue above the vaginal wall surrounding the urethra, the tummy a glass of water next to the bed.