How to Make Her LET GO & GIVE IN: The No-Bullshit Guide to Great Sex (27 page)

Breaking it off is perhaps the best way to go, to not set her up for future disappointment. The worst way to go, for both her and yourself, would be using the scum-bag approach, through emotional deprivation in combination with good sex.

The third way is dominance through equality. To be honest, taking this way might set her up for future disappointment as well. So, you really need to know what you are doing to pull this off in a way that will not hurt her. If not, you will be in for a lot of unwanted drama.

Five Tips to Keep It Casual

To keep the relationship going in the same way as it started out, meaning you do not get sucked into a relationship you’re not 100% sure of, apply the next tips. This will benefit both of you.

1. Keep it sexual

With keeping the relationship sexual I mean that you don’t get emotionally involved with her. This starts that from the moment you meet her, until the day that the relationship ends. So, only give her what
you
want to give and not what she wants you to give.

It’s not easy to stop this escalation of commitment, because she will work on you slowly and steadily,
without
stopping. If you don’t pay close attention you may end up in a relationship with the wrong girl.

Whenever you detect one of these things that she does, with the intention to draw you in, you must decline both firmly and diplomatically. Remind her that the initial arrangement started off casually and that
you
prefer to keep it this way. Both of you started something and if someone wants to change the dynamics, the other person has to agree. If not, one of you must end it and walk away.

Evidently, she can’t leave stuff in your house, you will not need a spare key to her apartment and you will definitely not meet her parents.

In some cases she will ask you for your help. I once got a call from a girl one night telling me that she had a flat tire and needed somebody to pick her up. I went there, but when I arrived her car was fine: she just wanted to screen me, to see whether I would show up or not. It made her believe I had stronger feelings for her, which I didn’t.

As you can see, things are not always that clear-cut. So, you need to learn how to make the right decisions.

If she’s asking a question like:
“Am I your girlfriend?”
you may not know how to answer because you know she wants to hear yes, while you want to say no. Avoid this question as much as you can. Instead, tell her on a constant basis that you feel so lucky to find a girl that doesn’t put pressure on you, how nice it is to share these free and fun moments, and how much you admire her sexually free spirit.

Some might find this callous, but this is simply being honest to both her and to yourself. She may not realize it at that point, but you're actually doing what's best for her by letting her know the score from day one and onwards. Therefore, in time she will come to respect your point of view. Not every man she meets or dates is cut out for committing, or a future with her, and she has to understand that.

Most times, it takes a confident and emotionally mature woman to handle this. In fact it's important to know a woman's state of mind before even starting things off with her. If she seems to be the unstable type, it's better to not get involved in the first place. Those that find it particularly hard to let go are best avoided.

2. Stay busy

Make it clear that you are a busy man with a lot of things going on in your life. Making yourself inaccessible, will make her crave for you more as it makes her wonder about you. You will have an air of mystery and will become a challenge. It will also give you the control on when and where to meet. She will do anything to be there because she knows that moments with you are a rare treat.

When she’s texting you to show pictures of her new dog, there’s no need to give her a reply if you are busy. It’s better to text her only for setting up an appointment. Don’t fall into the trap of text conversations because the more you reply, the more you make it seem like you are committing. When she’s asking you about going out this Friday and you have already planned something with your buddies, tell her you have no time.

3. Avoid coupling

Couples in love go out for a romantic dinner, spend as much time as possible together, share their emotions, meet each other’s friends and family
.
Simply put, don’t do what couples do because you’re not part of one. Keep the following tips in mind:

1. Instead of going to that fancy restaurant with romantic candlelight and a guy playing the violin, take her to a more casual place instead.
   
2. Avoid emotional conversations. Sharing dreams, fears and experiences can all be great, but just don’t do it with her as it means you are getting more and more committed. So stick to casual and easy topics.
   
3. Don’t go to her friend’s birthday party; it will make you guys seem like an ‘official’ couple. Her friends probably don’t like you anyway, because they may see you as that guy who is using their friend.
   
4. Make sure she’s not hanging out with your friends. It’s better to not invite her to come along when you’re going to hang with your mates. It’s a possibility that she gets friendly with your friends, and therefore she’ll always have an opportunity to see you. Your buddies may also disapprove at the way you are treating their new friend.
   
5. Avoid routine. When meeting her, make sure things are not always the same. Don’t take her to the bar behind your corner, order the same drinks and go back to your place every time. Keep it exciting and new for her.
   
6. Routine can work in two ways: she might get bored and fed up with your lack of inspiration and effort, or she might think that routine is a good thing because it implies commitment from your side. She will then interpret your behaviour as safe, which gives her trust and she will start to think that the two of you are in a committed relationship.
   

4. Guide her towards another man

Tell her it’s fine if she sees other guys. You can maybe even joke about some hot guys she knows. This can create 2 different reactions:

The first one is that she will work harder to be with you. The second is that she will take some distance because things will become very clear, and this is what you need to aim for. This might not sound appealing, but you cannot expect her to commit when you don’t.

When she takes some distance, she will be open to seeing other guys, even though her heart may tell her otherwise. This implies she will not be exclusively yours anymore, so don’t be jealous if she went on a date or saw her picture on a dating profile. If you are jealous, definitely don’t show it because she will interpret that as a positive thing. She sees jealousy as a sign that you will invest in her.

In the end she will hopefully find another guy who is also good in bed. She will then forget about you, which can happen very fast. The moment she finds some other guy who gives her an oxytocin rush, you will lose her in a heartbeat. But it will be hard to find a guy like that in comparison, as you will be a very good lover.

In an ideal scenario for her, she finds another guy who’s good in bed. However, in a not so ideal situation she will find some guy for emotional support and whom she gives lousy sex, and keeps you for sexual support. This means, you can still have casual hook-ups from time to time. This means that at this point, she has practical reasons why not to be your full time girl, which will make it a lot easier again for the both of you.

5. Don’t make it last too long

In the above tip, she eventually found another guy. But when she hasn’t, it means that she wants you for both sex
and
emotional support
.
She’s ready to settle down while you’re not. So, you cannot make this situation last indefinitely.

Sooner or later, you have to let her go to make her move on with her life. If she keeps waiting for you, at some point she needs a very clear yes or no answer.

Never make a relationship like that last longer than a couple of months. When you feel that this time has arrived, you owe this to her because you respect her. She needs to know where things are going because she doesn’t want to wait forever for something that will never happen. So be honest, and if she still doesn’t want to walk away, you must take this step and end it.

Dominance Through Equality With Commitment

In STEP 1 we have discussed that she craves for a man who follows the concept of dominance through equality and at the same time wants to commit. I want to bring this back up to conclude the book.

Look at it this way, when she is in a sexual relationship she will see you as her rock and herself as the ocean. The ocean can be peaceful and quiet, but it can also be stormy with waves crashing onto the rock. The state of her ocean is determined by her emotional state.

The only way she can have a quiet and peaceful ocean, is when she is satisfied on all levels. This is only possible through 2 conditions: the ability of selflessness and your masculine sexual power.

Both partners must be able and willing to share and care in a selfless way. Overly narcissistic people who feel entitled to get everything they want, will in the long run, not get the relationship they want, simply because they lack the ability to be there in moments of need for the other. This applies to men as well as women and is something very common when living in a world of material wealth, but emotional deficiency.

This leads to low self-control and an inability to
‘suffer’
for the other person. When a woman has this emotional instability she can never have a peaceful ocean, and therefore will always crash onto the rock. In a lot of cases she will deliberately do this to make you crumble down.

When you notice a woman like that, never commit or show her your vulnerabilities as she will try to make you crack by exploiting your weaknesses. Don’t be surprised if she makes a fool out of you in front of your friends, has unreasonable demands or deliberately makes you jealous by flirting with other guys.

When you notice she is caring and shows a sense of selflessness, do lower your guard and let her in, as she has no desire to destroy your emotional well-being. When two partners are able to commit to the fullest in an altruistic manner, the relationship will have a deeper sense of trust.

However, if she only feels a man’s caring side without a good sexual vibe, she will not be emotionally peaceful. This means that waves are still going to crash into the rock. Without her feeling your overpowering sexual masculinity – even when she has a sense of selflessness – she will still show behaviour that damages the relationship. Nagging, passive aggressiveness or tantrums, are all possible symptoms that even sweet and caring girls display when having the feelings of not being in the right relationship.

She destroys the relationship consciously or unconsciously because her desire for intimate bonding is low, and she’d much rather get out if she could, or had, the courage to do so. This is something very common. When she does not see the guy as her masculine protector for her emotional well-being, her rock of safety crumbles down.

This can be at the start, or develop over time within a relationship in which she will see you less and less as her strong rock. In the end the rock crumbles down and in is moment the man always loses her. He may even have tried hard to save his relationship through showing his caring side more and more, but this means nothing to her when her desires of lust are not fulfilled.

A sense of unselfishness while committing and raw sexual masculinity, are all that she really needs. In this case her ocean is calm and peaceful so that the water isn’t going to crash against the rock. She will do everything to keep her rock as strong as possible, and does this because she needs this rock to further guarantee her emotional safety and well-being. She does not want to break something that she needs.

Because she feels like you have given her so much, she will do the same for you. This means you can lead her into your wildest fantasies, and yet also have a strong foundation to build a strong relationship upon.

As such, she will grow to be proud of and brag about you to her friends. She will suck your dick whenever you want because it makes
you
happy, and
her
horny. She will not count on, nor expect you to return her favors every time she does something nice for you. She will go along with some of the kinkiest, and wildest sexual dreams you have.

In conclusion, not only sex, but also the relationship in this situation will be the best possible experience for her. Your commitment and the ability to handle her emotions and sex life give her a deeper sense of belonging. From now on she belongs to you and this simple and primal, somewhat forgotten dream in our today’s society, is all that woman want to have.

I don’t know at what point you are in your life right now; maybe you’re struggling just to get laid, fuck around with lots of supermodels who make all of your dirty desires come true, or maybe you’re a guy who is just looking for answers to bring back some passion in the relationship.

Realise that that there is one common ground. Sooner or later we all want to have deeper and meaningful relationships with people for whom we care and love and this is what your end goal should be.

Somehow you may or may not end up hurting some woman out there that is seeking a relationship with you. You may give her everything she needs on a physical and emotional level, or you may be the one who ruins her notions about happy endings and romance. Sometimes it's not going to be your fault: it just happens.

Whether you're young and flighty, or in your prime and ready for something with substance, use the content of this book to make it a better experience for you both. It doesn’t have to last forever, or even for more than a few hours, but make it worthwhile. You owe that to both of you.