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, Chapter 13.

The wedding was a huge success, a total victory, as usual Olivia had
attended to every detail. Her months of careful planning had paid off.

The food was exquisite, the decor sublime, the flowers the most
elaborate anyone had ever seen, the ice sculptures looked real, and
actually stayed intact for most of the party. The orchestra had come
from New York and played music everyone loved to dance to. The guests
were beautifully dressed, and everyone agreed that no one had ever seen
a bride quite as lovely as this one. There had been rumors, it was true,
but it was difficult to believe any of that now, when one saw her
looking so respectable, so demure, so much in love with her handsome
husband. Four hundred people applauded at the first waltz, the "Blue
Danube, " which Charles danced with his bride, and her gown swept around
her like a sea of lace with each graceful movement. And Olivia, of
course, though less in evidence today, looked just as pretty.

She danced with her father first, then Charles, then Geoffrey. And
everyone agreed that she looked lovely.

It was late in the day by the time Olivia danced with Charles again, and
she knew that Victoria was going to take off her wedding gown soon, put
her honeymoon suit on, and leave for the city. They were going to spend
a night at the Waldorf-Astoria, and then board the Aquataia in the
morning. There had been some talk of her father and her and Geoff going
to New York to see them off, but the child was terribly nervous about
his father going on a ship, and Olivia had been the first to agree that
he shouldn't see it. So they were going to say good-bye to the newlyweds
here, in Croton.

"You did an incredible job, Olivia, " Charles said handsomely.

It had truly been the perfect wedding. "You're very good at this."

"I've been running Father's house for years, " she smiled easily.

"But I'm glad this went so well." She was pleased too. And then she
leaned back and pretended to examine him through narrowed eyes that
barely concealed all that she was feeling. "So, do you feel different
now that you're a married man again? "

"Absolutely. Can't you tell the way I dance? That ball and chain around
the leg really makes a difference."

"You're awful, " she said, laughing at him, but it was nice to see him
look so happy.

And Victoria looked relieved too. It was done, it was over. She had done
it. She had almost run screaming from the church the moment before they
went down the aisle, but now all that seemed to be over.

She looked immensely pleased with herself, and totally relaxed as she
greeted their guests, and danced with old friends of her father's, and
new ones of her husband's. And as Olivia danced with Charles, Victoria
signaled her. It was time to change from her wedding gown to the suit
she would leave in, Olivia explained to him, and left him talking to
some friends, with Geoffrey standing near him. The boy was uneasy about
his father being away for so long, but Olivia had promised to take good
care of him and keep him happy.

Victoria was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, laughing and
smiling, and Olivia couldn't believe the change in her since that
morning.

"What happened? " she whispered to her as they walked upstairs holding
hands, looking more identical than ever, with the exception of their
dresses. But their faces and hands and hair looked particularly
identical that day, and all their gestures. "You look as though you're
enjoying this all of a sudden." Olivia had been watching her in
fascination.

"I don't know, " Victoria said honestly. "I'm not sure. I just decided
to go ahead and do it, and stop worrying about it. I guess we'll work
the rest out later." She said it philosophically, and Olivia l could see
that she'd been drinking. Not too much, but just enough to take the edge
off.

"Good girl. You'll be fine, " she said reassuringly, as Victoria took
the exquisite dress off. They laid it carefully across their bed, and
Olivia went to get the white silk suit that had been made in New York
just for this occasion. There was a white silk cloche to match, and
Victoria's eyes looked huge as she put it on her head and glanced at her
sister.

"What am I going to do without you? " Victoria asked in a whisper, and
Olivia felt exactly the same way her twin had that morning, filled with
panic.

"Don't think of that, " she whispered, choking back tears. "I'll be
here, waiting for you with Geoffrey."

"Oh God, Olhe, " was all Victoria said and they flew into each other's
arms and held each other tightly. "I can't leave you."

"I know .. . I know .. ." Ollie was trying to be brave for her, but for
once, she just couldn't do it.

"But I think you have to.

Charles might be upset if you sent Geoffrey on your honeymoon instead,
and stayed here with me in Croton."

"Let's try it, maybe he won't notice." They both laughed through their
tears, but it was the worst moment of their lives, and it was half an
hour later before they came downstairs again, looking suspiciously pink
around the eyes, with carefully powdered noses.

"Where were you? " their father asked as he stood with Charles, but the
girls only gave him vague excuses. It was time for Victoria to throw her
bouquet, which she did from the top of the stone stairs outside, to a
group of single women waiting anxiously for it in the garden. And out of
duty, more than interest, Olivia was among them.

Victoria aimed it carefully at her twin, and pitched it toward her.

And she had to catch it, or it would have hit her. There were laughing
shouts of "Foul, "

"Unfair, "

"Fixed, " but no one really minded, and then suddenly Charles and
Victoria were standing next to the car, and Olivia was alone beside her
father, as a sob caught in her throat and she and Victoria flew into
each other's arms and stood there, clinging to each other in silence.

Charles' eyes filled with tears and he looked away, and then glanced at
their father. He looked as unhappy as they did.

"I love you .. . take care of yourself .. ." Olivia whispered to her,
unabashedly crying as the others first watched and then turned away. It
was far too painful to see it.

Victoria could barely speak, and only nodded as she kissed her father
and got into the car. She said nothing at all to Geoffrey.

Charles held the boy tight for a long moment, with tears in his own
eyes, then shook his father-in-law's hand and thanked him, and then for
a single moment he hugged his new sister to him.

"Take good care of her, " Olivia whispered to him, still crying.

And he pulled away to look down at her with all the feelings that had so
long been buried.

"I will .. . God bless you, Olivia .. . take care of my boy if anything
happens to us."

"It won't, " she said, smiling through her tears at him, and then
watched him get into the car with her sister.

They waved as they drove away, and the others stood there, useless,
alone, abandoned, like shipwrecked sailors on a desert island after the
passengers have been rescued. Without saying a word, Olivia held
Geoffrey close to her, and then hand in hand they went back to the
others. There was nothing left to do now but wait for them to come home
again. It was going to be a long, slow summer.

And as they rounded the first bend in the road, Charles handed his wife
his handkerchief without a word to her. He could see how much pain she
was in. And he knew there was very little he could do to soothe it.

He knew from things they'd said before that they had never been apart
for more than a few hours in their entire lifetimes. And he had come to
understand over the past months, how rare and powerful that bond was.

"Are you all right? " he asked solicitously as she blew her nose for the
third time, and continued crying.

"I think so." She looked at him and tried to smile, but it only made her
cry harder. She had never been as miserable, even when she lost Toby.

"It'll be difficult for both of you at first, " he said honestly, never
one to lie about something painful, or unpleasant. "But you'll get used
to it. Other twins must marry and move apart.

Have you ever asked anyone about it? " She shook her head, and moved a
little closer to him for comfort. It touched him more than anything ever
had about her.

Without Olivia, she seemed so vulnerable, so much smaller and less sure
of herself. All of her brittle outrageousness seemed to have gone now.

"You'll have fun on the ship, " he said, for lack of something else to
say. "Have you ever been on one? " She shook her head, and sighed.

He was trying so hard, and she was so incredibly lonely for Ollie. It
wasn't his fault.

"I'm sorry, " she said, looking up at him, and noticing again how
handsome he was. And yet, he was nothing like Toby, nor were her
feelings for him. "I never thought it would be like this." She couldn't
even imagine that leaving Olivia would be so painful.

"It's all right, " he said gently. "It's all right, Victoria, " he said,
and put an arm around her. They spoke very little the rest of the way to
New York, and when they got into bed that night at the hotel, she was so
overwrought and exhausted from the emotions of the afternoon, that she
was asleep before he got out of the bathroom.

He had ordered champagne for them, and it was in the other room in an
ice bucket, but he could only smile to himself when he saw her.

"Good night, little girl, " he whispered and covered her. She was
purring softly. "It's a long life .. . there will be lots of champagne
another time .. ." He went into the other room, and helped himself to a
glass, thinking about his son, and her sister, and wondering how they
were doing.

Olivia was asleep by then too, as was Geoff, clinging to each other in
Olivia's bed, with Henry the stuffed monkey in bed with them, and Chip,
the sleeping puppy. It would have warmed Charles' heart if he could see
them. Instead, he walked slowly into the bedroom, and looked at his new
wife sleeping there, and wondered what it would be like being married to
her. In some ways, the prospect excited him, in others it terrified him.

In truth, it was difficult to imagine.

Chapter 14.

Charles was up and dressed when Victoria woke the next day. He had
shaved, showered, and dressed by nine o'clock, and had ordered the
newspaper and coffee.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty, " he said with a smile, as she wandered
into the room in her dressing gown, still looking very sleepy.

She had had more to drink the day before than he knew, and it had caught
up with her by the previous evening. "Did you sleep well? "

"Very, " she said, and poured herself a cup of coffee. She looked for
her handbag from the day before and took out a cigarette and lit it.

He glanced at her over the newspaper in surprise, and watched her do it.

"Do you always do that at this hour of the day? " He looked amused, she
was every bit the renegade he had always thought her.

"If I can get away with it, " she smiled. "Can I? "

"I suppose so, if you don't blow it in my face before my first cup of
coffee. I can't say I love the smell of it, but I suppose I can live
with it, if I have to."

"Good." She smiled at him, pleased, their first hurdle had been
successfully cleared. On to the next one. She glanced at the newspaper
with him and commented on riots that had happened in Italy, and Mary
Richardson's hunger strike in jail in England. The newspaper said they
had had to force-feed her.

"You're fascinated by that sort of thing, aren't you? " he asked,
intrigued. It was interesting being alone with her now. They could ask
each other anything, or do whatever they wanted.

"I'm fascinated by freedom, " she said honestly, "and what it takes to
get it and keep it. Freedom of the underdog, whoever that may be at the
time. And I believe very strongly in the freedom of women." She met his
eyes openly, and he was struck again by the sensuousness she seemed to
be so unaware of.

"Then why marriage? " he asked, amused at the conversation.

"Because that's a route to freedom too. I'll be much freer married to
you than I was living with my father."

"How do you know that? " He laughed at her answer.

"Because now I'm a grown-up. I was a child until yesterday, and I had to
do everything he wanted."

"And now you have to do everything I want, " he said, sounding like a
tyrant, and she watched his eyes to see if he meant it, but he was quick
to reassure her. "No, Victoria, I am not a monster. You may do as you
wish when we get back, as long as you don't embarrass me publicly, or
endanger yourself in any way. I've already told you, I would prefer it
if you refrained from getting arrested. But as for the rest, that's up
to you. If you want to endorse hunger strikes, or attend meetings and
lectures with your political groups, or spend time with other women
talking about how evil men are, you have my full permission." She looked
pleased by his answer. Her father had been right. He was an extremely
reasonable person. And for the moment, he seemed to want nothing from
her.

"Thank you, " she said quietly, looking very young, and a little less
daring than she had a moment before, with a cigarette between her
fingers.

"I think you ought to get dressed now though, or we'll be late boarding
the ship." He glanced at his watch. It was ten o'clock and they were
meant to be there at eleven-thirty. Would you like some breakfast?

" he asked politely. It was like visiting with a very civilized friend.

He was solicitous and courteous, and very well behaved. He had done
nothing whatsoever to frighten or upset her.

"I'm not hungry, " she said cautiously, wondering what it had been like
to sleep with him the night before. He had come to bed
after she was asleep, and left the bedroom before she woke up that
morning. It was odd having spent the night with him, and being totally
unaware of it. He didn't really feel like her husband. This was nothing
at all like what she had shared with Toby. And she knew what would be
expected of her here, but she couldn't even imagine it with Charles. In
fact, she rather dreaded it, but so far, Charles had been a total
gentleman, and shown no amorous interest in her whatsoever.

She went to dress, and an hour later stood in the living room of their
suite in the red dress Olivia had picked out for her with the matching
jacket. She was wearing a bun again, and had a matching cloche, and in
the startling red outfit, she made quite an impression. It was odd being
by herself with him, and not automatically half of a pair, with an
identical person standing right next to her, but it was very pleasant
leaving the hotel with him, and having everyone greet him.

Charles was respected and well liked, and she felt very well cared for
as he shepherded her to the car waiting for them. Their trunks had
already gone on ahead to the Aquatania, and would be waiting for them in
their stateroom.

And when they reached the huge ship at Pier Fifty-four, there was a band
playing, and confetti flying everywhere, and elegantly dressed people
going up the gangplank, both to find their cabins, and to visit friends
who were sailing. There was a huge crowd of people all around, and
Victoria's eyes grew wide as she watched the excitement around her.

She only wished that Olivia could be there with her to see it. And
Charles saw the brief flash of sorrow cross her eyes and knew what she
was thinking.

"Maybe she can come with us next time, " he said gently, and she looked
at him and smiled, grateful for his generosity of spirit.

Their stateroom on B Deck was handsome and large, and surprisingly
sunny. It was near the Garden Lounge, which looked like an old English
garden, and as they walked around the ship, Victoria was impressed by
the marble chimneypiece in the Adam Drawing Room and the elegant style
of the ship, and she was fascinated by what the other women were
wearing. It was like looking at one of Olivia's fashion magazines, and
she was glad Olivia had forced her to bring all the gowns that were
carefully packed in her trunk, and that the stewardess was already
unpacking.

"Oh this is such fun, " she said to Charles, clapping her hands like a
child, and he put an arm around her shoulders. He had been on ships
before, and he had always liked them, but after what had happened to his
wife he was sure he never would feel happy on one again. But Victoria
had changed that.

They wandered down to look at the swimming pool, and then back to the
main deck for the sailing. The music grew louder still and the boat
horns blew, and the great ship began to move slowly away from the dock
and out of the harbor. The visitors were waving frantically from the
dock, and Victoria took off her hat, and her hair was instantly covered
by confetti. This was the Aquatania's first trip back, after her maiden
voyage to New York the week before, and Charles only hoped that she was
more fortunate than her earlier cousin, the Titanic. This was supposed
to be a better ship, and she was meant to have the right number of
lifeboats on board, but he nevertheless looked serious as they went back
to their cabin. Inevitably, he was thinking of Susan.

"What was she like? " Victoria asked him boldly, as she lit a cigarette,
but he didn't object. He wanted her to be comfortable with him.

"It wouldn't be fair if I said perfect, " he said honestly.

"Because she wasn't. But she was right for me, and I loved her very
dearly.

It's been a hard thing getting used to her being gone like this.

Perhaps it'll be different now that we're married." He said it
hopefully, like a long illness he was hoping was cured, but he wasn't
sure yet.

"That was brave of you, " Victoria said quietly. You really don't know
me."

"I think I do. And we both need help in bad situations."

"That's an odd reason to get married, isn't it? " she asked, suddenly
wanting more than that, as he poured a glass of champagne and handed it
to her.

She felt very grown-up now that she was married, and enjoying the
privileges that went with it.

"Getting married is an odd thing anyway, isn't it? I mean two people
together for life. It's a great risk to take, but I think it's worth it,
" he said, as he sat down near her and looked at her.

"And if the risk doesn't pan out? " She looked him in the eye and this
time he was startled by her question.

"The risk does pan out if you want it to, " he said firmly. "You just
have to want it badly enough." And then he looked her in the eye and
asked her a tough question. "Do you? " There was a long silence.

And then finally, "I think so. I was terrified yesterday. I almost ran
away right before the wedding, " she confessed, and then laughed at her
own terror.

"That's understandable. If people were honest, most of them would tell
you that they wanted to run away right before their wedding. So did I,
for about half a minute."

"Mine lasted a little longer, " she said softly.

"And now? " he asked, moving closer to her, watching her with
fascination. He could feel that sensual quality about her again, the
thing Olivia didn't have, and it drove him crazy. "Do you still want to
run away? " he asked, as he came very close to her. She looked into his
eyes and shook her head. She didn't know what she wanted yet, but
running away wasn't it. "You can't run very far on the ship, " he said
in a husky voice, as he set down his champagne glass and sat down next
to her. And then without saying another thing, he put his arms around
her and kissed her. For a moment, he took her breath away, and then she
kissed him back, much harder and deeper than he had expected.

She was exactly what he had suspected her to be, a wild horse he would
never tame, but who would never ask for what he could never give her.

"You're very beautiful, Victoria, " he whispered to her, not entirely
sure of the extent of her experience. He knew she wasn't entirely
innocent, but her father had not supplied the details, nor had he wanted
to know them.

Charles carefully took her crimson jacket off, and then pulled her into
his arms again, as they sat on the couch in the living room of their
cabin. The rooms were extremely luxurious, and Charles had spared no
expense in order to spoil her.

She lit a cigarette again then, somewhat nervously, and this time he put
it out, and kissed her. He could taste the cigarette . , smoke on her
lips, but he didn't really mind it. Everything about her aroused him.
And as she sat next to him, languidly, he kissed her and she kissed him
back, it felt as though it went on for hours, and then finally, he
picked her up and carried her into their bedroom.

They were at sea by then, but there were still seagulls- flying past the
portholes. There was no one nearby, they were totally alone with no one
to disturb them, as he peeled off the red dress and dropped it next to
the bed, as he admired her long legs and narrow hips, the tiny waist and
full breasts, she took his breath away when he saw her, and then took
his clothes off too. He drew the curtains before he took them off
entirely, and slipped beneath the covers with her, and there he took off
the rest of what she was wearing, and his own, and he felt the opulence
of her flesh against his, the silsdness of her body that he had so
longed for. His body was crying out for her, as it never had before.

There had been no woman in his life since Susan. It had been two
agonizingly long years, and as he reached for his wife now, he felt her
suddenly shrink from him and begin to tremble.

"Don't be afraid, " he whispered in her hair, as he touched her, aching
to be inside her. "I won't hurt you, I promise." But she had turned away
from him by then, and she was shaking so hard she couldn't stop as he
held her. He held her that way for a long time, and then he turned her
and forced her to face him.