Ride 'Em Cowgirl (7 page)

The prize. Once he’s found your spot, build to your orgasm by squeezing and holding your PC muscles the entire time

Dr. Sadie Sez: Master Your OWN G-spot!

Who says you need a partner to locate and pleasure your G-spot? Why not treat yourself to a G-spot toy, designed to seek out and satisfy. You can find them in different styles and colors online, or at a sextoy store. Go ahead and splurge. You deserve it!

he’s stroking you. Add in clitoral stimulation with a fingertip or vibrator, focusing only on the pleasure, and feel your passions rise.

The Surprise Of The Liquid Orgasm

As it turns out, men aren’t the only humans blessed with the ability to ejaculate.

Women, too, can spout naturally during orgasm, especially a powerful G-spot orgasm.

If you experience “female ejaculations,” they’re nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, they’re something to be proud of. Your lover may be very turned-on by your liquid orgasms, too.

Contrary to what many people think, this liquid is not urine. It comes from specialized glands that surround the urethra—and is surprisingly similar to the fluid produced by the male prostate. Here’s what to expect: at the moment of liquid orgasm, the woman’s ejaculate either dribbles slowly or spurts wildly out of the urethra. Its color may be clear or milky, its texture is thin like water, and it may taste slightly sweet, a bit tart, or even have no taste at all. In fact, the major difference between male and female ejaculate is that hers has no sperm.

A woman’s liquid orgasm feels good too, like adding an indescribable heated oomph to an already powerful climax. Whether you’re graced with the ability to create liquid orgasms, or you begin ejaculating when you experiment with G-spot orgasms, don’t be shy—let it fly! And save yourselves the clean-up by spreading out a large towel before the waterworks begin!

Yup, it’s exactly what you think it is. Anal sex.

If those two little words send a shiver down your spine (and not the thrilling kind), you might want to read the next paragraph twice.

When you discover the safe, savvy way to enjoy anal sex, you can awaken a deep romantic connection with your lover, as well as eye-popping, spine-tingling, full-body orgasms beyond your wildest imagination.

Yet, anal sex is an acquired taste. Few women enjoy it the first time, mostly due to poor preparation and heat-of-the-moment partner-pressure. This often results in unnecessary discomfort and pain that makes one wonder why anyone would ever do it, let alone enjoy it.

But if you start off with good information, preparation and communication, anal sex can become one of life’s most deeply erotic adventures—one that many more heterosexual couples privately rave about today more than ever before.

“Yes, but…”

Hesitant? Curious? Eager? Then please read on. Talk about it with your lover. See if it sets your hearts racing. And you too may soon switch your position to—“Yes, butt!”

Why The Fascination With Anal?

As you surely know, most hetero guys are ready, willing and thwarted by that well-worn feminine phrase: “Not in this lifetime.”

So why would you try anal sex in this lifetime? The reason has as much to do with tasting the forbidden fruit as it does with a delightful quirk of feminine anatomy: the G-spot can actually receive incredible stimulation through anal sex—and in some cases—even more than through vaginal intercourse.

It gets better: As he lovingly fingertips the clitoris, and his slippery-hot penis tantalizes the rich, sensitive nerve endings in her anus, all while he’s excitedly stimulating her G-spot, a woman may experience the most astounding whole-body orgasms she’s ever felt—indescribable pulsations of passion that can’t be achieved any other way.

At least in this lifetime.

The 4 Guidelines For Enjoying Anal Sex

Whether you’re an anal sex virgin, or trying to overcome any memories of past discomforts, start with these four easy guidelines to ensure your pleasure, comfort and safety:

Talk. Anal sex is not a spur-of-the-moment act. It takes planning, provisions and discussion (an intimate conversation you’re likely to find very arousing!). You must also communicate with each other throughout the entire experience. It’s a shared pleasure that requires trust, confidence and responsibility.

Relax. The anus stays tight for a good reason, and learning to relax the sphincter muscles and get accustomed to fingers, sextoys or a penis takes time. Initially, you may feel a little discomfort before you feel pleasure, and while the level is different for everyone, it should NEVER be painful. Follow the advice in this chapter and you’ll ease into enjoyment much more quickly.

Practice. Most of the women who overcame reluctance and now enjoy anal sex say it took three or four tries to get it right. Be patient. Be positive. Be proactive. And follow these guidelines. Once you learn what you like, anal sex gets more comfortable each time.

Be safe. Even if you are in a totally monogamous relationship, anal sex can spread bacteria that can lead to infections. You MUST follow all precautions below.

SAFER SEX PRECAUTION. Anal sex without a condom puts you at risk of sexually transmitted infections and diseases. Play it safe. Read AND PRACTICE all the safer sex tips in this chapter and in the Appendix at the end of this book.

Precautions & Preparations For Anal Sex

Anal sex is more pleasurable when your physical and mental safeguards are in place. Practice these safeguards every time:

Use latex barriers. Roll a spermicide-free latex condom over the penis. Wear latex gloves or single finger covers (finger cots) if inserting fingers. Place a latex dam or sheet of plastic wrap between any tongue-to-anus stimulation (analingus or “rimming”)—or cut a fresh latex condom lengthwise and lay it flat. Never invert or reuse any latex barriers—always toss them out.

Wash up. If it will come in contact with the anus, pre-wash it in hot water with antibacterial soap. This includes fingers, sextoys and yourselves. File down and smooth out all rough edges on sextoys and fingernails, too.

Single dip only. Once you’ve committed to the back door—the vagina and mouth are off limits till after the penis and hands are thoroughly washed, or you’ll risk introducing germs that can lead to infection.

Get slippery. Unlike the vagina, the rectum is delicate and dry, with no natural lubrication to glide the penis inside. You MUST squeeze on the lube—in large, generous amounts! And don’t even think about using saliva.

Choose proper sextoys. Use sextoys made specifically for anal play. Never slide anything into the anus that does not have a flared base or extra-long handle to grip, otherwise it can get sucked inside. Make sure you’ve filed smooth any rough plastic seams. And roll a fresh condom over your sextoys.

A Word About…Er…Poop!

You were wondering, right? Well relax, it’s no big deal.

To clear your mind, as well as your rectum, just go to the bathroom beforehand. When you feel empty, or if you’ve had a bowel movement within the previous few hours, you should be fine. Your five-inch rectum normally stays clear until you get “the signal” that it’s time to go again. If you get that feeling once he’s inside, that’s normal, but it’s most likely him. Enjoy!

Will you need an enema beforehand? Nope—but feel free. Should you wash down there in advance? Yes—lather up well. Will any poop come out on whatever you insert? Perhaps—just clean it up with some disposable wipes or a warm, wet, dark-colored washcloth (no need to “see” any mess). Might there be farting? Probably—you’re pushing air up there. It’s funny—so just laugh!

Cowgirls Only!

Insider Tips For Smoother Anal

When you’ve decided to explore the joys of anal sex, and after you’ve talked with your lover about safety, lubrication and being patient, here are a few ways to ease into the pleasure:

A Heat up. The best primer for anal sex—is sex itself. Enjoy a round or two of oral orgasms or vaginal intercourse to get the blood flowing to all the right places. Try using a small butt plug during Doggystyle, or let his lubed finger get things started.

A Open up. Since the anus is naturally tight, the secret to accepting his lubricated penis is to lightly push outward with your anal muscles, while he’s gently inserting.

A Speak up. Don’t be shy. Say what you’re thinking so he’ll know he’s being a great lover. Try “slower” or “not so deep” or “ouch!” or “YESSS!” Note: some guys don’t believe “stop” really means “STOP.” It’s better to create a “safe word”—a secret word you both agree in advance will really mean “STOP!” (e.g. “Pancake!”)

A Ease up. Relax. Breathe deeply. Don’t clench or stiffen. This is mind over body—and you’re in control, because pleasure is your goal.

A Loosen up. While drugs and hard liquor can easily lead to sloppy preparation and poor decision-making, a glass of wine might be just the ticket to relaxing and getting into the zone.

A Bottoms up. Although you may come to love anal sex, you’re not obligated to do it often. Think of it more as a special, naughty erotic treat!

Cowboys Only!

How To Be Her Anal Hero

After you’ve talked it over, and agreed to try it, this isn’t your cue to barge right in. It IS your cue to show her you’re a world-class lover (or plan on kissing her butt goodbye!).

B Preheat. She needs you to begin slowly and lovingly to start her hot blood rushing to the scene. Best way? Hot foreplay with an orgasm or two. You know you’re doing it right if she never tells you to slow down.

B Touch. Show her you’ve got talented, confident hands by using them to seduce her lower back, inner thighs and butt cheeks. Kiss her all over. Take your time.

B Tongue. Whip her into a frenzy by licking and kissing her vagina, clitoris, then her ultra-sensitive anus. Flick gently before you tease the tip in and out.

B Nestle. Gently slide a well-lubricated finger into her anus, but only to the first knuckle. Now hold it still. Feel her sphincter involuntarily pulsating around your digit. Now wiggle, just a little, and relax her muscles even more.

B Excite. Slide in your finger a little further to the second knuckle, but resist stroking in’n’out. Hold still, and see if you feel her

Dr. Sadie Sez: For A Big Rush, Just Go Slow.

Even though you’ve talked it over, she may not be ready for anal sex. Instead, try treating her to other stimulating anal pleasures. Fingertip just the outside of her anus. Tease her with the tip of your tongue. If she’s okay with it, gently insert a lubed finger or a small butt plug. If you gradually increase stimulation, perhaps someday she’ll be penis-ready. Or just give her this book to read on her own.

loosening up. Whisper, “I’m holding my finger still…just relax.” When you feel her relax, tell her you’re going to gently wiggle your finger again. Then do it.

B Double Excite. What’s your free hand up to? What’s your mouth doing? Reach around or dive down and excite her clitoris. You’re doing everything right if she’s now completely, totally, passionately turned on.

The Art Of Anal Penetration

This is the moment of truth, where all your skills as a lover come into play. You’re both fully lubed, she’s completely preheated, and you’re sheathed in a condom, right?

B Missile guidance. With your hand, ease the tip of your well-lubed penis inside her well-lubed anus. Use gentle slow pressure—don’t force! If she’s nervous, it may take time till her involuntary sphincter muscles relax. Be sure to stimulate her clitoris simultaneously—it feels good, relaxes the muscles, and offsets any discomfort with pure pleasure.

B Align by design. Stay on a smooth path to entry, adjusting and angling yourself to match her natural angle. After she takes in the first few inches of your penis, stay motionless for awhile and feel her pulsating anus dancing around you. Keep touching her clitoris.

B Go slowly. Begin slow, shallow thrusting—it’s too soon to go deep, especially if she’s new at this. Pay attention to what feels good to her, and keep stimulating her clitoris.

B Stop when she says, “STOP!” Immediately. And never pull out suddenly. Ask what’s wrong. If she feels anything more than slight discomfort, adjust your angle, slow your pace, don’t go so deep, add more lube, or all of the above.

B Glide into pleasure. Stay slow and shallow to ease any discomfort. Watch her hips move. See your penis penetrate. Find your stride. Feel her pleasure. But pace yourself—it’s tighter than a vagina—and you may be done before she comes! (You’re still stimulating her clitoris, right?)

The Art Of Anal Loving

Giving anal sex feels so good, it’s easy to get lost in your own pleasure and forget hers. But staying focused on her pleasure can set off the strongest total-body orgasms she’s ever felt. Here’s how to take full credit for it:

B Reach around. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm—so you must keep caressing her clitoris while you’re inside her. It can make the difference between doing it right, or never doing it again.

B Take aim. Angle your penis to try and stroke her G-spot with every thrust. But if you’re a newcomer, just focus on basic pleasure techniques and work up to it.

B Get buzzed. Have a small vibrator on hand for one of you to press gently into her clitoris. You should feel the vibes coming through her skin, too!

B Dismount gracefully. Always remove your penis slowly, and remember to grasp the base of the condom and slide it out together with your penis. Don’t spill or splash its contents. Have a clean towel or disposable wipes handy to clear away any excess.

Attention Cowgirls: What if you discovered a whole new way to give your guy the hottest, wildest, most intense orgasms of his life? Might this erotic breakthrough open the door to deeper intimacy, a healthier relationship and a brand new Ferrari?

Would you settle for two out of three?

While there’s no question that your new powers would have him kissing the ground you walk on, you may not be prepared for his initial response to your seductive suggestion: “No thanks.”

Huh?

That’s right. Your explosive orgasmic temptation comes with a but—all this pleasure takes place within his butt!