The Lightning-Struck Heart (53 page)

“Nothing,” he said and then tried to shove me behind him.

“Are you trying to protect me?” I asked, starting to get slightly pissed. “Dude. Knock it off. You’re not my knight in shining armor. You’re a dick in dented tin.”

His jaw clenched. “Might as well be,” he said. “After all, I’m your cornerstone. It’s what I’m supposed to do.”

Oh, that motherfucker. “You do
not
get to say that,” I hissed at him. “You’re not my
anything
. And I don’t need you to protect me. I’ve been doing just fine without you and will continue to do so long into the future. Go be dashing and immaculate somewhere else.”

“Get down with your bad self,” Gary muttered. “We don’t need no mens.”

“Tiggy and Gary and Sam don’t need no mens,” Tiggy agreed.

“Maybe,” Ryan said, “if you’d been
honest
with me, we wouldn’t even
be
in this position in the first place!”

“Are you two seriously having this argument right now?” Justin asked.

I ignored him as I glared at the back of Ryan’s head. “Bullshit,” I said. “We’re here because a dragon kidnapped your fiancé. Who you swore an
oath
to.”

“I would like to be kept out of this,” Kevin said. “I feel like there’s a lot of misplaced anger going around. Bow down ter yer god, hoominz.”

“The oath has nothing to do with you,” Ryan said through gritted teeth.

“Just as anything having to do with a cornerstone has nothing to do with you,” I said and he
recoiled
. I had the sense to feel slightly bad at the wounded look on his face. It didn’t matter, though. I was pissed.

But before Ryan could retort with whatever was going on in that stupid head of his, Eloise and the cult rounded the final corner to the keep. Their eyes widened when they saw Kevin sitting regally next to us, tail and wings twitching.

“He… is…
glorious
,” Eloise breathed.

I wished I could say the same for her, but she looked worse for wear. Her hair was a mess around her face, and I thought she was missing a tooth or two, which went well with the shiner she was sporting on her right eye and a bruise on her cheek suspiciously shaped like a hoofprint.

“Dude,” I said reverently, not even trying to keep my voice down. “Did you kick her in the face?”

Gary preened. “That I did.”

“I love you,” I told him. “Seriously. I am in awe of you.”

“I punched seventeen people,” Tiggy said.

“And you’re my favorite giant ever,” I said. “They will tell stories of your bravery.”

“I punched and kicked people too,” Ryan said.

I ignored him.

“Awkward,” Gary whispered to Tiggy.

“You’re alive?” Eloise asked as she glared at me. “How is that possible?”

“Do god stuff,” I muttered, elbowing Kevin. “Be all godly.”

Kevin took a step forward, his claws digging into the earth. The crowd in front of us said, “Ooooh.”

When he spoke, his voice was deep and rumbly. He sounded ridiculous. “You approacheth my keepeth, mere mortals. What sayeth you for spaketh to me? Eth.”

“Oh my gods,” I said. “Dude. Come on. You had one job.”

“Forgive us, our lord dragon,” Eloise said, curtsying deeply. “We are truly blessed to be in your presence. You humble us by allowing our audience. You are truly a creature of magnificence and beauty.”

“Heh,” Kevin said. “Wicked.”

“My lord dragon, if I may,” Eloise said, eyeing me again. “Why do you harbor the sacrifice? Was the wizard not up to your obviously high standards? I would’ve assumed you’d have eaten him by now.”

“Hey,” I said, offended. “I am, like, the
highest
of standards.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Justin said under his breath.

“Hmm?” Kevin said. “Oh. Well. I was… saving him. For. A snack. Later. I have irritable bowel syndrome and he looks to be a bit… stringy.”

“
Stringy
? You listen here, motherfucker. I’ll cut you—”

“And loud,” Kevin said. “But those
lips
. I was waiting, I guess.”

Eloise’s eyes widened. “You wished to have us here to witness the sacrifice? Oh, my lord. What an honor.” She turned back to her people and clapped her hands together giddily. “The great and venerable dragon god is going to eat the wizard right in front of us!”

“What?” Kevin said.

“What?” I said.

Ryan tensed and tried to push me behind him again. This did not go unnoticed by Justin, who scowled at us.

“He’s not going to eat him,” Ryan snapped.

“I’m not going to eat him,” Kevin said.

“Why?” Eloise asked. Then she frowned. “Unless… you’re…
not
the god we thought you were.”

“What?” Kevin said. “Shut up. I am totally a god. So godlike. God of Dragons, they call me. Beast from the East. They all say so.”

“Who calls you that?” Gary asked curiously.

“You know,” Kevin said. “
Them
.”

“Well,” Eloise said. “If you truly are a god, then you should eat the wizard. We are your loyal subjects and we have provided a sacrifice for you.”

“Um,” Kevin said.

“Don’t you dare eat my best friend,” Gary said. “You’ll never know the pleasures of my supple body if you do.”

“Supple, you say?” Kevin asked, his voice a purr.

Eloise grimaced. “Are you really going to listen to this… this
blasphemous
creature?”

“Honey,” Gary said, “the only thing that’s blasphemous up in here right now is your hair. That shit be tragic.”

“Boom,” Tiggy said and fist/hoof-bumped Gary.

“Dragon,” Eloise snarled. “I command you to eat the wizard.”

And that’s when things screeched to a halt.

Kevin tensed dangerously, spikes along his back quivering.

“Oh, bitch, you gone and done it now,” Gary muttered.

“What did you say?” Kevin asked, voice suddenly more dangerous than I’d ever heard it. He moved then, curling himself almost like a snake, his tail wrapping around all of us. “You
command
me? A
human
?”

“If you are truly our god,” she said, “you will rejoice in our sacrifice to you.”

His eyes narrowed. “No one
commands
me. Least of all you.”

Something flickered in her eyes, almost like fear. The crowd behind her took a step back away from Eloise.

“Dragon,” she tried.

“Tell me,” Kevin growled. “Do you often make demands of your gods? Is that what you think they’re there for? For humans like you to lay your burdens upon them, to do as you ask, and if they don’t, you doubt them? Tell me, woman. Is that what you are asking? Of a
god
?”

Her eyes turned to slits, mouth a thin line. She straightened her shoulders. Her hands tightened around the handle of the axe she carried. She opened her mouth to undoubtedly give the order to attack, for the people behind her could not disobey an order to sacrifice themselves for her.

But she didn’t get a single word out as the dragon struck quickly, neck stretching, jaws snapping closed. Eloise didn’t even have a chance to make any sound as his neck worked when he swallowed her down. All that remained was the axe on the ground, the handle resting between her feet that jetted twin sprays of blood where they’d been severed at the ankles.

His throat worked as the muscles carried the woman down his esophagus, and when he looked forward again, he grimaced. Coughed once. Burped loudly, and I wondered if it tasted like Eloise. Then he said, “That’s going to be a bitch to pass later.”

“Holy fuck,” I breathed.

Kevin grinned at me.

“You have some cult leader stuck in your teeth,” I said faintly.

He looked at the crowd staring up at him in horror. He raised his head, glared down at them, and said, “Boo.”

They all ran screaming.

T
HAT
NIGHT
,
I lay on my back on the roof of the keep, watching the stars above, wondering just how in the hell my life had gotten to this point.

Then I realized it was mostly my fault, and that made me sort of depressed and happy all at the same time.

I told myself that it was because I was extraordinarily complex.

Mostly, though, I believed it was just because I was weird.

The stars were bright above me. Away from the lights of any city, they shone down like beacons in the dark. I had so many, many things I wanted to wish for, but I couldn’t think of a single one. I was exhausted and sad. Tomorrow, Justin and Ryan would start on their way back to the City of Lockes. We would follow them in a few days.

At first, Ryan looked stunned that I was coming back to Castle Lockes instead of going to Castle Freesias. That lasted about two seconds before he started vehemently disagreeing with our plans, saying we should travel together, that it’d be safer.

I told him I was being followed by Darks and was traveling with a dragon. It was safer for the Prince if he was away from me.

Justin, of course, had immediately approved.

Ryan argued.

I told him it wasn’t up for debate.

Ryan had refused to look at me for a long time after that.

Whatever.

I didn’t need his shit.

(I needed his shit.)

(Gods, that sounded wrong.)

It didn’t matter. It didn’t. We’d get back to the city and I would work with Randall and Justin would marry Ryan, and eventually, everything would be okay again. Everything would be—

“I figured you’d be up here,” he said, and I closed my eyes, because of
course
he would follow me up here. Of
course
he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

“You figured right,” I said, voice light and even.

I didn’t look over at him as he hoisted himself up through the hatch. He closed the hatch behind him. He obviously wanted this to be private, but beyond that, I didn’t know what else. Whether to try and change my mind about traveling separately or to chew me out for not telling him what a cornerstone was, it didn’t matter. No good could have come from the conversation and I sure as shit wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. I was weak when it came to Ryan Foxheart, and I wouldn’t let him make me weaker.

So when he said, “Mervin, huh?” I flushed furiously and refused to even dignify that with a response.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Should have seen that one.” He moved to stand at the edge of the keep, off to my left. I could see him out of the corner of my eye. I kept my gaze resolutely on the stars. “That one’s on me.”

I waited.

“You never would have told me, would you?”

I could have played dumb, but I was done with games. It wasn’t just about this. It was about everything. “No,” I said.

He nodded, as if that’s the answer he expected. “Because of Justin.”

“Partly.”

“Oh? What were the other parts?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does.”

“Why?”

“Because it matters to me.”

“Why?”

“Gods,” he said through gritted teeth. “You infuriate me.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Sam.”

“What?” I just wanted him to go the fuck away.

“I care about you, okay? I do. You have no idea how much or for how long.”

“Stop it,” I said, sitting up and finally looking at him. “Just stop it.” I kept my voice from cracking as best I could. I pushed myself up from the ground. “You can’t say anything like that. You can’t.”

“Why?” he said, taking a step toward me.

“Ryan,” I said, and I was
pleading
. I was
begging
for him to shut up. To keep talking. To come closer. To go away.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he said, taking another step, and I
willed
myself to move away. To run as fast as I could, but
nothing
happened. I was paralyzed in front of him, and I couldn’t even find a fucking flare of magic because my godsdamn cornerstone was standing right in front of me, and I could do nothing that might end up hurting him. “For the longest time. I wanted to walk right up to you and say my name. That I was Ryan. That I was Nox. That I was here because of you, that I did this because I wanted to prove to you that I could. That I crawled out of the slums because of you.”

“You don’t owe me shit,” I said. “You fucked your way to get where you were. You said you were a whore. That you slept with people, men, for money to get out of the slums. You said you wanted to get out of there because of me. If you did, then I made you do that… that
thing
. That no child should ever have to do.
I
did that to you. Stop making me out to be some kind of hero when I’m anything but.”

“You can’t blame yourself for the choices I made,” he growled.

And so I swung the trap shut. “Then you can’t blame me for the choices
I
made too.”

He flinched, but didn’t move away. I could have reached out and touched him, if I’d wanted to. And I wanted to very much. But I couldn’t. “You should have told me,” he said. “The moment you knew, you should have told me.”

“You’re with the Prince. You’re getting married to
Justin
.”

“I have a
right
to know.”

I laughed bitterly. “No, you don’t. You didn’t even know what a cornerstone was before… this. This
everything
. It’s not something for
you
. It’s not something
you
need.”

“It’s
about
me,” he snapped. “You can’t tell me it’s not. You were leaving to go to Randall because you couldn’t control your magic. I fucking help you control your magic. How the hell can you say it’s not for me? That it’s not something I need?”

“It’s not a one-time thing,” I said. “It’s not just you. There could be others. There
will
be others. Because you can’t be what I need. You can’t be the one to anchor it down. There will be others and I will find them and they will help me and I will show them why I was made for them. I will show them how great I can be, because I will
never
be anyone’s second choice. I will
never
be second best to someone I love.”