The Lunam Ceremony (Book One) (22 page)

“Go, I got this.” I take the gloves from her and put them on.

She squeals and kisses my cheek. “You’re the best!”

I hear Drake whoop a few seconds later, and soon the hall is quiet except for the clinking of the dishes as I wash and rinse. I bite the inside of my lip. The pain is nothing compared to the ache in my chest at the thought of Dillan and Cassie. Suddenly, I feel his hands on my shoulders and I close my eyes. He’s still here. He’s still just mine. I lean into him and fight to hold in my tears.
It is one night that will grant us the rest of our lives.
I shake off my grief and pull a pot into the sink. Leah has been making a lot of chili lately; this is the third night this week. She says it’s the easiest meal to make and goes a long way. I guess that’s true, but the pot is a bitch to clean.

“Here, let me help you.” Dillan moves me to the side and takes the scrub brush from my hand.

I move the loose hair from my face using my forearm. This is probably the first time Dillan has ever done dishes. I take the gloves off and offer them to him, not that they will fit his hands. He shakes his head no, never taking his eyes off the stubborn stains on the bottom of the pot. I pull a towel from the rack and start to dry. We wash and dry every dish in the lodge in silence.

I wake in Dillan’s arms, knowing this may be the last morning we share before he goes to Cassie. This is the second day of the full moon.

The fact that I’m not having a child means my mother’s line, the Orrin line, will end with me. If I choose to have a child later, it won’t hold the same power as a first Lunam child. I just hope Layla understands why I’m doing this. I don’t think her bloodline is important to her. I mean, she is the one that crossed over to Sierra. If maintaining a Shasta line mattered, then she would have chosen Conall, not Monte. I hate these early morning internal debates. I might as well get up since I can’t sleep. When I try to sit up, Dillan tightens his grip. I feel him aroused on my leg. It kills me to abstain from sex with him, but we can’t risk it. I don’t want to conceive. I can’t bring a child into this world. When Dillan and I do have a baby, which is not something I have ruled out, it will be
our
child, not the pack’s.

“I better get up, before nature takes its course.” I whip the blanket back and let the cold morning air cool him off.

He grabs my arm and pulls me back down. He tosses the covers over our heads and holds me tight. “Let’s pretend we’re someplace else. Where do you want to be?”

I giggle and play along. “Um, how about a beach house in…”

“Cancun,” he finishes my sentence. “I stayed in this amazing villa one summer with my parents. My father let Othello take me to see the ruins; instead we went zip-lining in the jungle. It was awesome.” I love the way Dillan’s eyes light up when he talks about Othello. He really meant a lot to him.

“And what will we do today?” I want to keep the game going. “Will you take me zip-lining?”

“No, I want to see the ruins with you.” He kisses my head and squeezes me to his chest. I relax in his arms and imagine the life we will have once this is all over. These moments make everything worth it. “I’ve always thought it would be cool to have sex in one of those ancient temples.” I squirm in his arms and pretend his comment offended me, when actually it doesn’t sound all that bad. My squirming arouses him further, and for a second we lose ourselves in a kiss. Dillan breaks away first. “You better get up now, before I can’t stop.” He slides off of me and I have to remind myself it isn’t rejection. Even if my heart feels like it’s being ripped from my chest.

The camp is deserted; most of the couples have resigned to their rooms. This mating season isn’t just special for purebloods. Any child born this year will be an Altum alpha no matter who their parents are. This is a chance for betas to contribute to the pack with an alpha. Altum alphas are future leaders, which means better rank for their parents and siblings. Ray is the son of a beta and an alpha, but he was born during Altum Lunam, and that is all that matters. If something were to happen to the purebloods, the next in line to lead would be an Altum alpha.

We agreed to keep the key to Hopi under the mat so people won’t starve while Leah and Patsy are off kitchen duty for the next week. I’m even covering for Clio in the nursery. Mara runs the nursery. She is an unmatched alpha in her mid-fifties and has no children. Clio said since she’s a low alpha, her family never pressured her to breed. Prejudice is a real problem in the packs.

“Good morning, Mara.” I place the box of supplies she requested from Hopi on the counter.

She thanks me as she scoops up one of the babies and carries him to the changing table. My duties are mainly to keep order. I make sure the kids don’t eat crayons or hurt each other, while Mara takes care of the smelly things. “Can you grab Taylor from her crib? She’s been yelping all morning.”

I look at the line of beds in the room. There are three with babies in them. They all stare back at me with large round eyes. She said ‘her’, but I can’t tell them apart. “Which one is Taylor?”

“The girl,” Mara huffs as she tosses a dirty diaper into the pail.

I roll my eyes at the back of Mara’s head. “They all look the same,” I say then notice small pink bunnies covering the pajamas of the one on the end. I approach Taylor’s crib slowly, like any minute she will morph into a wild animal and bite my hand off. “Hey there, Taylor. I’m just going to pick you up, ok?” Taylor looks at me, utterly confused when I reach down and place my hands under her arms. “There we go.” I hold her over the crib, unsure what to do next. “Where does she go now?”

Mara is still occupied with diapering the baby on the table; she just waves her hand in the vicinity of the playpens. I walk with Taylor at arm’s length, hoping she doesn’t spew something on me. When I move her over the top of the playpen, she lets out a blood-curdling scream.

“Holy shit!” I pull her back and look in the playpen to make sure there isn’t a snake or something inside. I pull Taylor close to my body and rest her on my hip. She instantly stops screaming. “Did I do something?”

Mara finally finishes dressing the baby on the table and watches me from the other side of the room. “Look at that.” I look down at Taylor, who is smiling up at me. Her big blue-gray eyes sparkle in the morning sunlight. “She doesn’t act like that with anyone.” Mara sets down the baby in her arms and goes back for another. Her remark warms me. I’m glad to hear I’m not as inadequate as I thought. Not that I’ll need these skills anytime soon.

Taylor and I share a moment. I bounce her on my hip and she giggles. She’s not that bad, and she doesn’t smell like a sour rag, like some of the others. “Who’s her mother?” I ask while I bounce around the room, making Taylor and the other kids laugh. Their smiles are infectious.

“Taylor’s mother is not with us anymore. She died in a car accident last summer.” Mara says this quietly, like Taylor might actually understand what we’re talking about.

I cradle Taylor’s head to my shoulder, blocking her ears. “And her father? Is he here?”

“Of course, we came together.” Mara passes out sippy cups full of milk. The older kids suck them down the way the males drink their beer then run out of the room.

“Who is her father?” I try to see if I can guess, but they all have the same Sierra blue-gray eyes and black hair.

“Carrick,” she calls from the kitchen.

I’m stunned. I had no idea Carrick was a father. I hold Taylor in front of me, but I don’t see any of his brutish traits in her sweet face. Taylor giggles when I hold her up. I make a game out of it and spin her around.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Mara warns. “She’s already had her breakfast; you don’t want it all over you.”

“Oh.” I stop and put Taylor down next to the other babies. “I feel like I should know more about these children. I mean, I don’t even know their names.”

Mara doesn’t miss a beat. “That one there is Mack.” She points to the baby next to Taylor. “The two in their beds are Lars and Gavin. The older kids are Romi, Madeline, Jake, and Roger.”

The older ones are glued to the television in the other room. We don’t get cable, but there is a wall of DVD’s. “How often do their parents come and visit?” Mara looks confused. “I mean; do they ever see them?”

“This place is more like a day care for some. The older ones sleep in their parents’ cabins every night.” Mara winds a diaper in a plastic bag then stuffs it into the trash.

Now that the camp is full, most of the betas share cabins. There is an all-male and all-female cabin for the single betas. Some cabins house two or three couples. The cabins have been split into private areas with partitions, the kind you see in an office building. When I voiced my concerns to Dillan he said it’s all temporary. Once we start to make money we will build more cabins or even get trailers. Everything is riding on the success of the business. I won’t be here to see how things play out. I hope Leah and Drake have the same vision for this place that Dillan and I do. “Where do the children sleep in the cabins?”

“Madeline sleeps on an air mattress and Jake’s parents have bunk beds in their cabin. The others are still small enough to sleep with their parents”

I’m horrified by the sleeping arrangements these families have to endure to be together. It’s wrong and I should do something about it. I could, if I were staying.

“Your children will have a special place in here.” She points to a room off the kitchen. “All pureblood children get the best care. We can’t have them getting sick.” She winks at me. Mara’s comment doesn’t sit right with me. Children shouldn’t get better care than others based on their bloodline. “Pureblood children need around-the-clock care and protection.” Mara washes her hands then plucks two apples from a bowl on the counter and starts chopping. “Unlike these little monsters. They come and go as they please.” She hands Romi a piece of apple.

I watch Romi run back to the television. She’s probably five or six years old and she has to share a bed with her parents. It’s wrong. She deserves better than this. “When I get here in the morning the kids are already here. What time do you open?”

“This is my cabin. My room is back there.” She points to a door down the hall. “Depending on work schedules. I usually have at least two or three overnight. The rest are dropped off pretty early in the morning so their parents can get to work.”

Taylor pulls on my pant leg and holds her arms up to me, while Mack crawls to Mara. “Well look at that.” Mara shakes her head. “She likes you.” My heart swells at the sight of Taylor’s smile. I reach down and pick her up. “You know kids are contagious.” Mara says as she wipes Mack’s nose.

“Eww.”

“I don’t mean this.” Mara holds up the dirty tissue. “I told Clio not to worry; she should be the first one to turn up pregnant with all the time she spends in here.”

“I gotta go.” I place Taylor on the floor. She whines a little then crawls over to a pile of blocks and starts to chew one.

“Come back for lunch if you can, we can always use the help.” Mara waves as Lars or Gavin start to cry. I tell Mara I’ll send someone if I can’t make it. The last thing I want is to catch the baby bug. Not when I’m so close to having everything I’ve ever wanted.

I run into Clio on the way to my office. Her eyes are red. “Late night?” I tease. Clio shakes her head and wipes her nose. “What’s going on? Are you and Tripp fighting?” I wrap my arm around her shoulders.

“No, it’s not that. We’re fine. It’s my stupid body.” She throws her hands in the air.

I have no clue what she means.

“I’m not ovulating,” she blurts out.

When I ask her how she knows, she goes into an elaborate explanation that involves mucus and her body temperature. “My optimal day for conception is tomorrow, but Tripp has to leave for the Truckee run in the morning. He’ll be gone all day.” She sniffles and wipes her wet eyes. “If I don’t get pregnant, we’ll have to wait an entire year to try again.”

She doesn’t mention the fact that their child won’t be Altum alpha; she’s just upset about not having a baby. Clio wants to be a mother. Something that felt so foreign to me a few days ago. After spending a little time in the nursery. I can see how one of those little monsters might seem like a good idea for some people.

“Isn’t there anyone else that can go instead? Why can’t Rusty make the run?” Clio grips my arm. “Please Kalysia, talk to Dillan and get someone else to take his place.” All of the drivers we hired from Shasta left this morning to make their runs.